Could use a buddy

[Pino6161]

Ok all wish me luck, I am going to the store and buy a test.

 

[lauren26]

Good luck!! Let us know how it goes.

Haribo - I feel you--I got a bit more spotting today and instead of IB I'm thinking that it's going to be the week-long spotting I used to get every cycle. Boo to that! Anyway, a baby shower sounds rough!! I feel the same way about doing everything 'right' and not seeing results. Of course we are technically NTNP...still Well, I will keep my Fx and hold out for you!!

 

[Pino6161]

So I know I am supposed to wait for the first morning urine, but I got impatient and took the test this afternoon...It was negative.... I am so tired of seeing a negative test. I expect AF tomorrow...

IDK I am really disappointed, and overly snappy!!

 

[treasured]

Pino, any sign of AF yet? I know all the symptoms are like AF but they are the same for pregnancy so dont give up yet! how many dpo are you? some peoples tests dont show up positive for weeks after AF is due. how are you feeling now?

think im going to test tomorrow morning, although Its only 9dpo i think so probs will be negative! not been feeling any differently really so dont feel very positive this month, feels like giving up sometimes xxx

 

[lauren26]

treasured- I am feeling exactly the same! Trying to stay positive but I already feel like I'm out because I feel totally normal aside from some regular post-O things. It's tough to keep on keeping on! I guess we've got to find a way to stay in the race, though. Fx for you let us know how it goes!

 

[lauren26]

treasured- I am feeling exactly the same! Trying to stay positive but I already feel like I'm out because I feel totally normal aside from some regular post-O things. It's tough to keep on keeping on! I guess we've got to find a way to stay in the race, though. Fx for you let us know how it goes!

 

[Pino6161]

Still no sign of AF my breasts are sore, but not near as bad as usual when I'm about to start. My nipples are really sensative though. At night my stomach is still upset, and first thing in the emorning, but I am fine during the day IDK. I took a test this morning, and BFN IDK what to think, I hope starting to get really discouraged. I am 16DPO and have a 33 day cycle.

 

[lauren26]

I am feeling a bit more up--getting faith again that it will happen sometime. Lol, it's such a rollercoaster!

 

[Pino6161]

I am feeling a bit more up--getting faith again that it will happen sometime. Lol, it's such a rollercoaster!

I know what you mean, my emotions are different daily, almost hourly. LOL I got a BFN this morning, and I was really disappointed. Now, am coming to terms with it, more cause AF still hasn't come but I know that it could just be late.

Our day will come. We just have to late a little whie more than others

 

[SashimiMimi]

I talked to an old friend from school last night. She was the first of my friends to get pregnant. She had been on the pill for about 12 years, and got off, planning to get pregnant a year later--she thought it would take that long for the effects of the pill to wear off. Lo and behold, she conceived within two weeks. She got pregnant again while breastfeeding--I think she hadn't even had more than one full post-partum cycle yet, and last night on the phone she told me that they are trying to 'carefully plan out' when she'll get pregnant next. Ladies, my blood boiled!! I really wanted to be happy for her and her ability to snap her fingers and be pregnant. I felt like it was just so unfair. And somehow I wished she wouldn't tell me about it, though as her friend I obviously want to know what's going on in her life. Needless to say, I got really discouraged. And of COURSE this spurned me to POAS this am, and it was -. I realize I'm 7dpo, but again, I am feeling very pessimistic about this process right now! I've been pretty good about not symptom spotting, and am definitely more relaxed NTNP, but my excitement and high hopes have still factored in, too.

Eeeee, sorry to be a wet blanket this morning!! I hope everyone's weekend is starting off well.

Lauren, you are not alone in the blood boiling department. I have been an emotional wreck all weekend. Last night we went to a surprise birthday party that started at a restaurant and ended at a club, I was looking forward to dressing up and having a night out on the town. In the afternoon our washing machine flooded the basement (huge mess to clean up!!!) then the subway shut down and we had to take a really packed shuttle bus full of annoying people, so I felt foul by the time we got there. I couldn't eat anything on the menu...just in case, and of course I didn't drink so everyone was whispering to my OH asking if I was pregnant. He told them all we were TTC. Ughhh! I guess that's the assumption if a woman chooses not to drink she MUST be pregnant!! Another couple there was pregnant and the husband couldn't stop talking about how they were expecting. Cue my blood starting to boil.

After dinner we went to some sort of pretentious night club where they make you wait in line for ages even though only about 7 people are inside. Even though i was one of the youngest ones in the group i was the only one who didnt get carded. OH stuck his foot in his mouth and said something about how i look my age. I got defensive and starting insisting that I most certainly do not look 30 and he was kind of like Oooookaaayy if you say so. Blood boil #2!! I don't know what was wrong with me but I immediately got really depressed as soon as we got inside. Not because i suddenly felt old, but I just didn't feel like being around aggressive club goers, my heels were killing me. So then I felt like i was fighting back tears and OH got annoyed with me for visibly being miserable and told me I was being obnoxious. Cue the tears.

OH wanted to BD when we got home, which was really late and I was exhausted. I know it's okay to BD during th TWW, but I was too nervous to try. Today I think I've been crying on and off all day for no reason. I just feel completely down I the dumps, I'm exhausted, a little queasy and have a massive headache. Because I take progesterone during the TWW, it can mimic BFP symptoms so I try not to get overly excited that these symptoms might be a good sign. I feel like a complete nut today, but I have to assume when you pump your body full of all these different hormones you are allowed to have one off day.

OH was initially frustrated with all my weeping today but eventually came around and has been pretty supportive. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow, I've kept it pretty together and have remained positive during 8 cycles of natural TTC and 2 cycles of IUI. Sigh!!!!! Thanks for letting me have a huge vent ladies. I needed it and actually feel a little more sane after writing that out.

Lauren it is so frustrating when some people can snap their fingers and get a bfp like your friend. We were talking to a couple yesterday that got engaged recently and they were talking about how they will have kids right after their wedding and they want to move to a neighborhood that would be "good for pushing a stroller around." This couple is in their late 30s and it took everything in me not to tell them that I have been ttc for nearly a year, and that it's not as easy as just deciding you want a baby. I felt like I was about to lose it and start cackling like a maniac!!! In reality I just smiled and nodded and said wow... That's great! Anyway, I know everyone here understands moments of irrational thinking. I guess this past weekend was my free pass for being completely irrational.

On to week 2 or the TWW. It certainly doesn't get any easier as far as getting hope up and feeling those nerves. Hope everyone else had a better weekend. Xoxoxo

 

[Pino6161]

I talked to an old friend from school last night. She was the first of my friends to get pregnant. She had been on the pill for about 12 years, and got off, planning to get pregnant a year later--she thought it would take that long for the effects of the pill to wear off. Lo and behold, she conceived within two weeks. She got pregnant again while breastfeeding--I think she hadn't even had more than one full post-partum cycle yet, and last night on the phone she told me that they are trying to 'carefully plan out' when she'll get pregnant next. Ladies, my blood boiled!! I really wanted to be happy for her and her ability to snap her fingers and be pregnant. I felt like it was just so unfair. And somehow I wished she wouldn't tell me about it, though as her friend I obviously want to know what's going on in her life. Needless to say, I got really discouraged. And of COURSE this spurned me to POAS this am, and it was -. I realize I'm 7dpo, but again, I am feeling very pessimistic about this process right now! I've been pretty good about not symptom spotting, and am definitely more relaxed NTNP, but my excitement and high hopes have still factored in, too.

Eeeee, sorry to be a wet blanket this morning!! I hope everyone's weekend is starting off well.

Lauren, you are not alone in the blood boiling department. I have been an emotional wreck all weekend. Last night we went to a surprise birthday party that started at a restaurant and ended at a club, I was looking forward to dressing up and having a night out on the town. In the afternoon our washing machine flooded the basement (huge mess to clean up!!!) then the subway shut down and we had to take a really packed shuttle bus full of annoying people, so I felt foul by the time we got there. I couldn't eat anything on the menu...just in case, and of course I didn't drink so everyone was whispering to my OH asking if I was pregnant. He told them all we were TTC. Ughhh! I guess that's the assumption if a woman chooses not to drink she MUST be pregnant!! Another couple there was pregnant and the husband couldn't stop talking about how they were expecting. Cue my blood starting to boil.

After dinner we went to some sort of pretentious night club where they make you wait in line for ages even though only about 7 people are inside. Even though i was one of the youngest ones in the group i was the only one who didnt get carded. OH stuck his foot in his mouth and said something about how i look my age. I got defensive and starting insisting that I most certainly do not look 30 and he was kind of like Oooookaaayy if you say so. Blood boil #2!! I don't know what was wrong with me but I immediately got really depressed as soon as we got inside. Not because i suddenly felt old, but I just didn't feel like being around aggressive club goers, my heels were killing me. So then I felt like i was fighting back tears and OH got annoyed with me for visibly being miserable and told me I was being obnoxious. Cue the tears.

OH wanted to BD when we got home, which was really late and I was exhausted. I know it's okay to BD during th TWW, but I was too nervous to try. Today I think I've been crying on and off all day for no reason. I just feel completely down I the dumps, I'm exhausted, a little queasy and have a massive headache. Because I take progesterone during the TWW, it can mimic BFP symptoms so I try not to get overly excited that these symptoms might be a good sign. I feel like a complete nut today, but I have to assume when you pump your body full of all these different hormones you are allowed to have one off day.

OH was initially frustrated with all my weeping today but eventually came around and has been pretty supportive. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow, I've kept it pretty together and have remained positive during 8 cycles of natural TTC and 2 cycles of IUI. Sigh!!!!! Thanks for letting me have a huge vent ladies. I needed it and actually feel a little more sane after writing that out.

Lauren it is so frustrating when some people can snap their fingers and get a bfp like your friend. We were talking to a couple yesterday that got engaged recently and they were talking about how they will have kids right after their wedding and they want to move to a neighborhood that would be "good for pushing a stroller around." This couple is in their late 30s and it took everything in me not to tell them that I have been ttc for nearly a year, and that it's not as easy as just deciding you want a baby. I felt like I was about to lose it and start cackling like a maniac!!! In reality I just smiled and nodded and said wow... That's great! Anyway, I know everyone here understands moments of irrational thinking. I guess this past weekend was my free pass for being completely irrational.

On to week 2 or the TWW. It certainly doesn't get any easier as far as getting hope up and feeling those nerves. Hope everyone else had a better weekend. Xoxoxo

You know there are alot of people that have it very easy. I went to 3 different high schools, so I have my Facebook to keep in touch. Anyways over half of my friends already have kids, some from different dads, many with abortions. It is just very frustrating.

My brother is 2 years younger than me and just got married, he decided to start a family alothough he is not financially stable, and didn't have a job. And what do you know? His wife is pregnant. When he first told me, I was really upset, I know avoid talking to him, just because of the anger I felt.

My sister-in-law, same thing her baby is now a year old.

My husbands cousin is 17 and just had a little boy.

Life is not fair, but you have to take it in stride.


I know what you mean about mood swings. I have had my fair share of them in the last 2 years. You can't really control it, but it's great that your OH is supportive. It is normal for him to have his moments. It's hard for men to understand exactly what we go through physically and mentally.

I hope everything works out

 

[SleepyOwl]

Pino – Welcome!! I’m holding out hope for you despite the BFN. It ain’t over til the fat lady sings!!

Lauren –- Ahh that spotting must be driving you nuts! Is it still happening? It definitely seems like the right timing for IB so fingers crossed for that. Hopefully it stops and AF doesn’t show for ohhh about 9 months ☺ On the pregnant friend note, I can totally relate. My friend told me at the wedding this weekend she was pregnant and they had only tried for 2 months. Totally peed on an OPK after that convo, LOL! Very easy to be discouraged, but our time has to be soon – I’m really trying to stay positive for all of us!!!

Haribo – It is discouraging when we feel like we do everything right and AF shows. I hope you’re feeling better today now about everything and have a renewed enthusiasm about BD’ing your next two weeks away in hopes of catching that egg! It’s hard because you’re right – there’s really nothing more you can do but just hope, pray, BD and wait. Good luck this cycle!

Treasured – Excited for you to test! My sister said when she got her BFP she had all her normal AF symptoms and no unusual or different symptoms. She was shocked when the fertility clinic came back with a BFP. So don’t count yourself out yet – it’s still totally possible.

Sashimi – Sounds like a difficult and emotionally draining weekend you had ☹ I hope you’re feeling better today about everything! You’re absolutely right – you get a pass for being emotional and kooky. The whole process is draining in and of itself; then add in the progesterone and wacky hormones and it can be a recipe for disaster. Glad OH has come around and is being more supportive. Sometimes they just don’t realize.

Lxb – Thanks for warding the witch off. What a good buddy we have in you!!

Country – How are you doing with SMEP?! Are you in the TWW yet?

I’m back from a long wedding weekend. We had a wonderful time but am just generally exhausted from it. My friend finally told me she was expecting – SO obvious as she’s got a total baby bump. So happy for her, but definitely felt a pang of jealousy every time I saw a pregnant woman at the wedding. I think OH was really feeling the pressure of TTC and how difficult the process is. He has brought it up here and there just out of nowhere saying, “I just never knew it would be difficult.” I’ve been having AF like cramps on and off since Friday night (so about 5DPO) but that’s not really unusual for me. Sometimes I get a few days of AF cramps about a week before along with sore boobs. Cue the sore boobs today. Feel like AF is definitely going to show, but I’m determined to remain positive. It has got to happen at some point!!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Pino, I totally forgot to say welcome to the thread during my majorly long rant. So welcome and you will definitely find some great ttc buddies here!!

Sleepy glad you had fun at the wedding. Those jealousy pangs are normal and I feel them the most during the TWW for some reason. You're right about OH's not always getting it. I don't think mine realized it would be such a struggle either. We ordered Thai food tonight and the pad thai made me want to gag for some reason. I feel mentally better but physically off. OH said it must be because the IUI worked and I immediately asked if he would be upset if it didn't because I don't know if it's the progesterone or what. He said of course not and we can't put that much pressure on ourselves.

Speaking of progesterone, Lauren I forgot to say that it can help with the spotting. I would always spot about 4 days before my AF and the progesterone thickens the lining and kind of keeps everything in place. It's a pain to insert them vaginally and they leak a little bit, but I had no spotting when I took them last cycle. Have you spoken to your doctor about your spotting concerns?

 

[Pino6161]

Thank you guys for the welcome. I hope that talking things out will help my moodiness, and in a way lonliness. No one really understands how it feels to see so many BFN. Then again, no one really knows I am TTC either, and that makes it a bit harder.

 

[SashimiMimi]

Pino, this board has really helped me not feel so isolated and alone with TTC. I always thought it would happen right away so I told lots of people, and now they always ask if we've had any success. Then if I get into the fact that we are seeing a fertility doctor they look confused, then worried and say But you'll end up like Octomom and end up with too many kids if you take fertility drugs!!!! Sigh... Some people just don't do their research!!!

And we all know what its like to see so a lot of bfns, so you won't feel alone here. Good luck!!!

 

[Pino6161]

Thanks. I know for a fact many do not understand. It's hard to wrap my head around, but we were told the next step would be implantation, and in all reality, insurance doesn't cover it and we can't afford it. So all I can do is hope that the natural way will come around sooner or later (hopefully sooner rather than later)

 

[countrygirl86]

Welcome pino! Sounds like a lot of you are in the 2ww! I wonder what about that time seems to make the jealousy pangs worse? At least that's how it is for me. I also love grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup! These ladies are a great support system You aren't out till AF shows but I know it's easier to expect her and maybe sometime be surprised with that BFP...

lauren, the roller coaster sucks! I find it definitely worse in the 2ww. Especially right before AF (probably the same before BFP but I wouldn't know, yet!).

Sashimi, sorry you had such a sucky weekend Sounds like you are having a terrible time with emotions. Let's hope it is because your BFP is on the way and this is a signal of what's to come. Do you mind people knowing you are TTC? You are definitely allowed to have more than just one 'off' day! When do you go in for the test?

Sleepy! My SMEP partner! lol no still waiting to O! It's ok with me though, we are sticking to the plan and it's going well. How are you doing in the 2ww? Glad you had a good time at the wedding! It will happen at some point and we are all here to keep each other company until it does (and hopefully after too)!

We had our camping trip this weekend so I fell off the charting wagon a little lol no opks, temping or checking cm but I think O is coming soon. I think I'm the only one on this side of the 2ww right now? Quick question: of the ladies who use OPKs, do you use the pee on type or the dip in type? I got the dip in type but today I feel like O is really close and am wishing I'd got the pee on kind so I could test at work!

 

[lauren26]

Sashimi - That evening sounds AWFUL! I feel like the TWW is enough already, without having to deal with broken-down subways, speculating friends, cheesy clubs, and arguments with OH. I feel scared to BD during TWW, too, this month. And to do anything strenuous, really. I know you said last month that the progesterone was giving you pg symptoms--the symptoms this month sound a little different. Super Fx that they are a good sign! I'm not exactly glad that a lot of us had a rough weekend, but it does make me feel a little bit better, having really spiraled into negativity and gotten extremely jealous. I, too, wanted to yell at my friend when she was talking about planning the next pregnancy. She's the one friend I had who had been pushing and pushing for us to have a kid and now that we're trying she never, ever asks about it or mentions it. I almost wish that my friends would ask about it a little bit more--or at least express interest. At the same time, the people around me who DO ask are the ones who sneezed and got pregnant, so I guess in the end I'd rather not be on the receiving end of their 'encouragement' (sorry--a little bitter I guess! lol). Anyway, I do appreciate that you can relate. I feel like such a rotten person sometimes with the insane jealousy and bitterness than can bubble up. At least I have therapy! Lol.

Your OH sounds really sweet and supportive, Sashimi. He seems very encouraging. And I usually have a whole week of being off at the end of my cycle! You are completely allowed to have emotions and have a difficult time. This process is rough. I have considered progesterone--the reason I started seeing an OB was because I was spotting so much before AF. At Christmas I had something like 10 days of spotting and then a 7 day AF. Awful. I had met with a GP to talk about pre-conceiving stuff, and she referred me to an OB because of the spotting. If I start up again this month before AF I will insist that my levels be checked. I know people that use the progesterone cream that you can buy at Whole Foods, but I'm scared to use it without the consent of my doc. I do think the acupuncture and vitamins are helping with spotting, but I would love a cycle where I don't spot AT ALL before AF (or before pg).

Sleepy - No, knock on wood, the spotting stopped for a day. Really on 5 and 6 dpo it was pinkish CM. Then 7dpo I had the red/brown just once when I checked my cervix. Yesterday really nothing. Today, though, I am starting to get creamy CM so my hopes are slowly dropping. Plus, I have absolutely no will power with POAS and got a bfn this morning. I realize it's still a little early, but I feel like so many people get a faint something/glimmer of hope at 9dpo. Anyway! I'm glad your wedding was fun, and the jealously is sooooo normal. I feel like we ALL had it this weekend!

I have to run for now so I can't respond to everyone else right now but I'm reading everything and keeping Fx for all of us! I'm sooooo grateful for this board. Thank you, ladies, for being so supportive! More later

 

[SashimiMimi]

Lauren thank you so much for your long reply to my ridiculous weekend!! Another stupid thing that happened is I forgot to put on deodorant, so I left the early stages of the dinner and started running up and down the street in heels looking for anything that was open that sold deodarent. I found a convenience store that did and I found the stick I bought in my coat pocket this morning during my commute , completely forgetting that I had left it there. It only made me remember all the little stupid things that added up that made me a complete sour grape! I still feel like I have a bit of a storm cloud over my head!

You're right that the progesterone symptoms are a bit different this time around. Last time I bled every day on it because it can irritate your cervix. This time I had a spot of brown blood on Thursday and one spot of red blood yesterday. Don't know if I should be excited or assume its irritation.

Back to work for me! More later !

 

[meyko]

Can someone please take the time to give me some advice or help?? im going crazy!!!

I am 13 days late, my period was suppose to start April 17, my last period was march 20 and i always start two weeks after i ovulate. I should have ovulated on April 3 and had sex two days before, day of, and day after... we are TTC!!! i took a pregnancy test april 14 before i was suppose to start my period and got a faint positive so faint i think i was the onloy one who could see it, whishful thinking i was gueesing, i then took another one on April 16 the day before my missed period and it was a faint line, the line was faint but def was there... husband said to take a test in a week and then see if it got darker, i couldnt wait a week and i took on the 19th two days after my missed period and it said negative, about day 4 after missed period April 21 started spotting/dishagre light brown, not even enough for a panty liner, only when i wipe so i took a digital test it said not pregnant... whats going on am i pregnant??? i still have not started my period, i am 13 days late and have no symptoms of starting my period. I am 21 years old btw and i was pregnant when i was 18 but didnt find out i was pregnant until i was three months along, i had missed my period then but it was summer and didnt realize it until it hit 3 months i then had every symptom in the book of pregnancy.. i called my doctor and i have a blood test tday after work so hoping tat gives me apositive but she said ill have to wait 3 days for my results, is it maybe i dont have high enough level of hcg to show up on a home test?? do u think im pregnant???