Could use a buddy

[lauren26]

Well. I got my lab results (I called the lab since my OB would have left by the time they were done), and at CD19/4dpo my progesterone is at 5.46. I have heard and read that the VERY lowest a normal progesterone level should be at that stage of the cycle is 10. I don't know what I feel more devastated about--the fact that it is so low or the fact that my OB didn't do this test right away when it was probably essentially impossible for me to get pregnant with levels like this. I really wish she had listened to me and/or that I had gone to someone else sooner! I am really upset right now. It's 7:15 here so I can't call anyone (OB, RE), so I guess I'll be waiting until tomorrow. I hope everyone else's evening has gone better than mine!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Oh, wow! Where to start...

Sleepy your post about the annoyed BD made me LOL. There have been way too many times where something like this has happened to me. Once OH thought my legs were too cold and he just couldn't get into it. Of course, I wasn't laughing at the time. I was super irritated. But TTC sure knows how the take the romance out of the equation sometimes.

Treasured ughhh! Did you end up telling your friend that you were TTC? That whole situation breaks my heart as well. I see between 1-5 pregnant women a day it seems and I have to clench my fists to keep myself from grilling them about their TTCing. You're a strong person for being there for your friend, even though most people would find what she is doing hard to swallow.

Pino what a story. It seems like we all have some powerful stories outside of TTC and in a way it's nice to connect with each other on other hardships life has dealt us. Your positive attitude, the way you're taking control of your health and overall outlook is really inspiring. I meant to get into shape in March when we booked our trip, but it didn't happen. Oh well! I know when I exercise and eat right, I feel great all around. Healthy body, healthy mind.

Lxb - We have booked all our Kauai activities: Helicopter tour, zodiac sea caves tour with a beach landing and snorkling (we chose zodiac over catamaran because of the sea caves), luau and kayaking. OH will golf and I will go to the spa, so that should keep us pleny busy. They said you can't do the zodiac if you are pregnant, or the catamaran for that matter... so I guess that's one pro if I get another BFFN. Also, seems like everything is Ahi tuna on the menus and I love that... so another pro I guess. I'm really digging here just in case.

As for me, I woke up with a head cold this morning. Sore throat, super stuffy nose, sneezing. Ughh! I had such a long day at work and my head just feels like it's in a fish tank. Of course, I am symptom spotting because of all those women who log their TWW and say "Oh my nose is runny I MUST be PG!!" I'm not sure how I got a cold, but I don't want to read into it too much.

Last month, I had no sore boobs or swelling. The month before when I started progestorone suppositories, my boobs became massive. I bought a dress at this time which looked great, but when my boobs deflated... not so great. This month my boobs are back to being super sore and huge, so I might take the opportunity to wear that dress tomorrow while I still have boobs!!!

I was also just speaking to my mom and she said she just has this "feeling" that I'll get my BFP the month after we get back from Hawaii. I'm like really? So I'm out for this month and I just wasted $1,400 on fertility drugs and the 3rd IUI because you have a feeling the baby isn't ready to come yet? That's offensive. I think I offened my mom by saying that I was offended, but really she just has no idea what I've been going through. I felt really bad when I hung up the phone right now. She didn't say she thought I was out this month for sure, but she just has a "feeling." Well, she also had a feeling I'd be pregnant before Christmas and now we are in May.

I keep telling myself I can handle what ever news comes my way this month, trying to see the pros that if it is a BFN I can do a bunch of stuff on our vacation I wouldn't be able to do otherwise, but I immediately felt very upset at the thought of it being a BFN. I am SO SICK of BFNs!!!!!! And honestly, I don't know if my doctor will keep going with me unless I do that lap surgery and I just DO NOT want to do it. The surgery doesn't feel right to me.

So with that being said, Lauren this is the LONGEST TWW ever! In glad in a way that you, me and Sleepy will all be testing on May 30. But I feel like I'm going to go for the test and be a ball of anxiety until they call. I have no idea how I will emotionally be able to handle being at work whether it be a BFP or a BFN. I'm finding it impossible to think positive because I did last month and felt extra crushed by the failed results, but then I think if I just assume it will be a BFN I hurt my chances somehow.

Anyone mastered the art of the TWW yet?

 

[SashimiMimi]

LAUREN! Ahhhh! We posted at the same time again. I know you are upset about getting the results, but AT LEAST you got them. You "took charge of your fertility" like the book says and got something checked out you had a hunch wasn't right. I think you should definitely express your concerns to your doctor and ask for reassurance going forward that you will have your worries about your health addressed.

Do you know what steps the doctor will take to get your progesterone up? Be glad you found the problem and be glad that it WILL be fixed and you are one step closer to BFP!

 

[lauren26]

Sashimi - You are right, I have more info now. I guess I'm really just angry at myself for not listening to my intuition and doing this earlier. I KNEW that it was what was going on for sooo long and no one would listen to me. I should have just gone to someone else right away and asked for lab work. Never again! My doc....the reason I freaked is because she basically implied earlier that she will not do anything about the progesterone. I just feel so crushed that this will def. be another BFN month for me. I guess I can call her first thing tomorrow morning and ask for a Rx for progesterone and to start right away. If she says no I will call the clinic I was considering and ask for a same day appointment and see if they'll give me a Rx.

Do you really think it can be fixed? I just sunk in during my exercise class that I can't get or stay pg with that kind of reading and I suddenly felt like I would just never, ever, get pg.

I would have felt upset with my mom, too! Especially after all the $$ and shots and most of all the emotional struggle. I'm really glad you'll have a vacation, whatever the results this month! When is your test date? Sorry if you said it and I missed it.

 

[SleepyOwl]

Well. I got my lab results (I called the lab since my OB would have left by the time they were done), and at CD19/4dpo my progesterone is at 5.46. I have heard and read that the VERY lowest a normal progesterone level should be at that stage of the cycle is 10. I don't know what I feel more devastated about--the fact that it is so low or the fact that my OB didn't do this test right away when it was probably essentially impossible for me to get pregnant with levels like this. I really wish she had listened to me and/or that I had gone to someone else sooner! I am really upset right now. It's 7:15 here so I can't call anyone (OB, RE), so I guess I'll be waiting until tomorrow. I hope everyone else's evening has gone better than mine!

I'm sorry the results weren't what you were hoping for But Sashimi is right - at least you know now! I know it feels like the months gone by were in vain since this could have been fixed, but everything happens for a reason. Your time is coming and it will be perfect. With that said, I know I would be just crushed as well and probably be laying face down crying for several hours, so feel free to let it all out if you need to. And I'm sure this can be fixed - I feel like modern medicine can do so much, surely it can handle some low progesterone, right?!

 

[SleepyOwl]

Sashimi - Oh yeahh for the big boobs. I LOVE when I get close to AF b/c I feel like my boobs look like mountains...they probably still look like mosquito bites, but whatever - makes me feel better about myself. Of course I'm totally reading into your symptoms/cold and thinking it means your preg. On to Mama SashimiMimi - I would be offended too if my mom said something like that. I'm sure she meant nothing by it, but it does come across as insensitive considering all that you go through each month.

Pino - What a crazy story! I am so sorry you have had to endure all that. Things really aren't fair sometimes, but you have such a positive attitude about life. All of the struggles you had to endure and any mistakes made are going to make you an excellent mother - you seem like you have really learned so much and that is wonderful!

Also I REALLY hope I'm pregnant. Have I said that before? Each month I get a BFN makes me want to see a BFP so much more. I hope this month is it!!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Lauren my test date is same as yours and Sleepy - May 30!! Yes, progesterone levels can be fixed. My doctor doesn't text for day 21 progesterone levels because he says its old fashioned... I'm not sure what part of it is old fashioned, but I know he does put most people on the suppositories because it increases the levels and helps thicken the lining.

Also, my naturopath had given me a supplment called Chaste Tree a while ago which mimics progesterone in the body. Between your doctor, a naturopath and even your acupunturist of he or she does Chinese herbs there are lots of routes you can take to fixing those progesterone levels.

I get the impression from my doctor that lots of women have low progesterone levels, so its not a dead end... just a bump in the road. I just emailed you a long note as well!

It's great that they found the low levels, not you can be on your way to BFP!

I have to say that acupuncture and Chinese herbs saved my life. I was suffering from frequent bladder infections a few years ago. My kidney levels were also way off and my doctor sent me to a specialist. During the wait that it took me to get into see the specialist I worked with my acupuncturist and did some herbs targeting the bladder and the kidneys. Well, my levels came back normal and the specialist couldn't figure it out. I didn't have bladder infections for about 5 or 6 years. I had about 5 UTIs from September to November, so I went back to my acupuncturist and did some herbs and they have been gone since before December. I even saw a specialist again that said that nothing looked wrong and if they continued he would do an exam that required a microscope to be stuck up my urinary tract. Stick whatever you want up my hoo haa, but do not stick anything up my urinary tract!!!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Thanks Sleepy!! I know Mama Sashimi didn't mean anything by it, I know she was trying to be positive like your BFP is just around the corner... But I'm like, I'm not doing the lap and I'm not doing expensive needles that blow my ovaries up to the size of oranges again, so I would prefer the BFP now thanks! I was telling her about all the things I can do in Hawaii with a BFN and that I was digging for pros in all this and thats when she said I just have a feeling... I find that is why it's so important to connect with you ladies here, because you get it. And even OH doesn't get it like we do!

 

[lxb]

Lauren - like sashimi and sleepy said... At least you know now. And your time will come.

Sleepy and sashimi - at ur boobs stories!! I have those moments too! And oh sashimi... I hope you don't get to go on the zodiac tour!!!!!! And I bet mama sashimi meant that you will tell her your bfp news when you return from your trip!

cheers!! Here is to all 3 BFPs on May 30th!!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Thanks, Lxb!! And thanks Sleepy for looking at my cold as a possible sign! Need the positivity.

 

[lauren26]

Thanks, gals I guess I am feeling a little better about it right now. It was the thought of knowing this won't be the month that was really getting me down. I did some Googling and found that many, many women have gotten pg with lower progesterone than mine and have just had to get on supplements immediately. So I suppose there could still be hope for this cycle. Even if there's no way this could be my month, I need to believe it could be right now!

Sashimi, I am surprised that your doc also didn't do day 21! I was confused when my doc didn't. There is an old thread on BnB that I found where someone had day 18/19 levels done and was about where my #s are. Her doc had her go in a week later and they were normal. I guess there can be an off day and/or levels really do increase greatly as time passes after O. I will ask to be put on progesterone and/or will ask for bloods again at day 21. I am going to get this fixed!!! Lol. You're right, I know what I am working with so I have more information about what to do. I started spiraling with the cause of this leading to insulin resistance and that leading to diabetes or something (I am not at my ideal weight, but I'm sure I'm not diabetic, lol!). Anyway, I have acupuncture tomorrow, too, so I'll ask my lady about it. OF COURSE your test date is May 30! Can't believe I let that one slip when you and Sleepy and I are testing buddies...

lxb - Your emoticons are hilarious!

Sleepy - Thank you! Definitely did some crushed crying, lol. Ate a bunch of popcorn and watched the Simpsons. A little therapeutic escapism does the trick!

 

[lauren26]

PS I just found this article and it made me feel better about this whole process. It's celebs who have struggled with fertility (the title says 'infertility', but you all know how I feel about that one!).

https://www.ivillage.com/celebs-who-struggled-infertility/6-b-303609

 

[SashimiMimi]

What we refreshing article, Lauren. Thanks for posting! Although, I do wish they featured some celebs who are closer to age 30 rather than 40+. Though it's inspiring to see a shift in the media who are all too obsessed with celebrity baby bumps.

All I want to do is eat popcorn and watch Simpsons! That sounds like the perfect way to beat some blues!! OH is irritated with me because I'm in a mood over having a cold and being completely exhausted. I complained about the call with my mom and he said that maybe we just need to take a break from all this. Hell to the no!!!! I didn't come this far to stop now, I will keep getting back up each time I'm knocked down! I'm determined!!

 

[Pino6161]

I especially like this one:

Iman The supermodel and host of Bravo’s The Fashion Show may have married rock royalty, but according to the model it took an ancient African fertility ritual -- which requires a woman to carry a baby for a day -- to give her and husband David Bowie a child. Iman toted around Christie Brinkley’s then-14-month-old baby, Sailor Lee, and voila -- she reportedly conceived suddenly after. The long-legged beauty gave birth to daughter Alexandria in August 2000 at age 45.

I might have to try that.... hhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm...whose baby to borrow ??

 

[SashimiMimi]

Lol Pino! How about Halle Berry's 36 BFNs?? How does the media even find out about this stuff?

 

[Pino6161]

Right ??? LOL. but I agree with you. No offense but lets get some younger examples

 

[Pino6161]

So today went ok until about 1PM I was cleaning and had to go into the kitchen. I went to climb over the baby gate that keeps the dog out, and I twisted my knee, then it hurt so bad I did a sort of jump to get the rest of the way over and landed flat footed which sent a jolt up my knee. It is really swollen and sore. I can't bend it w/ severe amount of pain. I have always had knee issues, but this is the worse. So now I am sitting here on the couch with my knee brace keeping my heating pad in place.

 

[lauren26]

LOL. I didn't read Iman's. Someone give me their baby!! I love that, though--it feels so right, instinctually. Getting the baby dust!

Sashimi, yes, I would have preferred some younger examples, too!!

Pino, love that Halle Berry SAVED them. I HATE MY BFNs!!! Lol. I take it back. Every one I see I think, 'Well, one closer to the BFP!'

 

[lauren26]

Pino!!! Go to the doctor!! Oh my gosh! I hope you get some relief! Knee stuff is the worst! Yikes. That sounds very painful--can you go to a doc or chiro tomorrow?

 

[Pino6161]

I hate them and after all of them I save them and when AF shows uo. Me and OH burn them. It's our waying of moving on, and trying again. Besides I don't have enough space i the house to save them all LOL