Could use a buddy

[Pino6161]

OK people, so I am a bit confused LOL. I felt my period coming yesterday, and when I wiped there was nothing,but TMI when i put the toilet paper up a little, I did have a little blood. So I put in a tampon. That was 2:30PM yesterday. When I went to bed last night I went to change my tampon, and there was only a little blood, usually it would have been filled. So I changed it, and when I woke up this morning, I had the same amount, only a little bit of blood. It is very weird for me, when you guys started vitamins did it change the heaviness of your cycle?? I was still cramping the same as normal, and my cervix is very low and soft, which is normal, but it is weird that my flow is so light. Usually I have to change my tampon a couple times a day, and I have to use the super, but not now. IDK, has any one ever had this happen? Specifically after starting vitamins. I called FertilAid, and they said "It could happen, but since every person is different they can't say etc" Nothing really helpful.

 

[SashimiMimi]

Hi Ladies! I'm at work, so I don't have the luxury of having a double screen to keep up with all the posts!

First, Pino... my last two cycles had extremely light 2-day AF. Normally I have a medium flow that lasts 3-4 days. I think AF can vary, but next time you're at the doctor you might want to discuss to make sure.

I'm so ready for my trip in a couple of days. Although the weather says it will be rainy for the 4 days we are in Vancouver, I'm looking forward to seeing OH's family and friends. The weather for Hawaii looks great, I'm counting down the minutes.

A couple of things lately have really broken me out of my TTC funk: First, going to the gym on a regular basis as worked miracles for my mental state. Now I'm someone who HATES the gym, but there is a really fantastic facility right beside my work and I can't get home without walking right past it... I have no excuse. I really get bored doing regular workouts by myself on the machines, so I've been joining all of the group fitness classes like spin, extreme boot camp and last night I did one of those yoga booty ballet classes, which was a lot of fun!! We are doing a lot of adventurous activities in Hawaii, so if anything it will feel great to build my strength up! I said before that my SIL got really into running marathons during her TTC battle and now I can totally see why!

The second thing is my niece and nephew: Now I have told the story of my niece, SIL TTCed for 3 years! Had 3 failed IUIs and did everything WRONG on the 4th IUI that actually worked. You are supposed to do 2 IUIs back to back, she only did one because she was discouraged and was already gearing up for IVF (never got to that point thankfully). She assumed that because she only did 1 IUI it would fail, so she had a little wine, worked out and ate what ever during that 2WW. It reminds me that even though I had 4 follicles and everything was "right" no one really knows when it's going to work. Kind of like Sleepy's sister who was in the same "4 IUI until it worked" boat!

Anyway, my niece who will be 4 this October, loves to call me on FaceTime! The other day I told her I was going to Hawaii (not even explaining what Hawaii actually is) and I asked her what type of present she would like me to bring back for her. So she says, "Ummm...well, I would really like a necklace, a bracelet or some shells... But you can bring me ALL of those things if you'd like!!!" So I said okay, I will bring you all 3 of those things back from Hawaii... Then I asked her what to buy for her brother (who is turning 2 in a couple of weeks) and said he is really hard to shop for. So my niece says, "Oh he would REALLY like a blow up shark!" I LOLed but then got really confused as to how she even knows what a blow up/inflatable shark is! I spoke to my SIL and she couldn't figure out how she knew about blow up sharks either and we both laughed. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a 20 year old, not a 3.5 year old when speaking to my niece. So if SIL had succeeded right away with TTC, it wouldn't have been that same little girl. She is so special and was definitely worth the wait. I hope it will be the same case for me, that the right kid just isn't ready to come YET.

So LXB, I'll be on the hunt for a "blow up shark" in Kauai. I don't suppose you know where I could get something like this for my nephew haha!! Glad to hear you are doing the San Fran trip, if you want any tips you know who to come to as I went there for my honeymoon!! You have been so helpful with the Hawaii tips for me, it is the least I can do.

Lauren, did you make it back okay? Hope the flight back was smooth and that you are both home safe and sound!!

Country how are you feeling!??

I better get back to work! More later!

 

[lauren26]

Hello ladies!

Back safe and sound, but we didn't get home until 1:30am this morning. It was a loooong day of travel!! Hours of driving from Alabama and then two flights, one was delayed, a shuttle to our car at the airport, then an hour drive home. Whew!! I will work on getting a few pics up soon--I will probably put most of them on FB for those who want to see them there! I was ready to have a nice, relaxing day and called to make my day 5 ultrasound appt. with my doc and of course ended up having to go in this morning and rush around to make it, fast until noon, etc. Lol.

Despite my LOLing, I am feeling pretty down at the moment. I was going in to the docs today thinking everything would be great and I'd just get Clomid! I had my vaginal ultrasound to get my resting follicle count, and the tech showed me a few good sized cysts. I don't have PCOS, but cysts are normal anyway. The tech said that I might get put on bc pills for a months to try and shrink them. Unfortunately, after looking at them more closely she and my doc think that they might be endometrial cysts, meaning that I likely have endometriosis. They suggested a possible laparascopy and definitely wanted to do an HSG. The lap is off the table ATM, but long story short my doc said that I could either go forward with the HSG or go straight to IVF--whoa!!!! The problem for me is that the HSG is very expensive. My insurance does cover it, but not fully so I would still be paying a good chunk out of pocket, and since I left my job in February and am currently on the hunt it's not good timing--especially since we just spent $$ on this vacation! The HSG is something I've been wanting to get done for ages. We still might do it, or may wait a month or two, or may have to wait longer. Even if we go forward with it this month there could be other steps to take after and I just don't know if we're ready to dive down the financial rabbit hole with all of this. ALSO, the reason my doc wants to do the HSG is because she thinks that the cysts/possible endo are creating scar tissue and/or causing my tubes to be filled with fluid, thus blocking my tubes. The thing is that even if my tubes are OK, or if they can clear them out, if I do have endo it is likely causing lots of scar tissue in other places, so 1. a lap might be essential if I ever want to get pg (since it will just continue to create scar tissue) and 2. there might be enough scar tissue in my uterus that an egg will have a nearly impossible time implanting properly. The nurse also told me that if there is endo present that the womb is more hostile (she used a nicer word), trying to fight off the extra tissue and/or debris that might be in there.

Whew!! Sorry for the long post. In a way I'm relieved to have this new information, but as soon as I saw the cysts on the screen I had a feeling that it would be more than something simple to deal with, and I'm honestly gearing up for the news (sooner or later) that I just can't have kids. I know that's jumping the gun, but I had an intuition to begin with that something was up, and the two tests I really wanted to run were the progesterone and HSG...and I was right about those needing to be done in the end. I just wonder if I'm getting the intuitive hit right now that we're out of the game. I don't really know what to even feel or think about it. My SIL texted on vacation letting me know that there was a brand new, $500 breast pump at our FIL's church member yard sale for a $10 donation. She picked it up for me saying, 'I know you're not pregnant yet but you will be soon'. I had a feeling that letting her get it would jinx me. Well, here I am! Lol. I don't know ladies. The odds are just really stacking up against me.

Sashimi - Good for you for taking charge and getting some energy out and some good vibes in!! I'm so excited for your vacation It's almost our birthdays!!!! I haven't even thought about what I want to do for mine. It feels like our vacation was my gift, even though that wasn't the intention. I love what you've said about your niece and nephew, too. Maybe I need to adopt your perspective of perfect timing = perfect kid.

Pino - My period got lighter and less clumpy after starting vitamins and acupuncture. It may be that you are just getting healthier and your hormones are balancing out!

 

[lxb]

sashimi - haha... your niece sounds sooooooooooooooo cute!!! My niece is 2.5! I am too often surprise by what she has to say!! Oo.. inflatable shark eh? I think your best bet would be at the local Walmart store?? Ah yes, well said. The right baby will be waiting for you soon! I sense a little bean with a Hawaiian flare~~ Hehe.. I'll PM u regarding SF trip~~ Would definitely love to hear what you recommend~!

lauren - Your time will come. I truly believe it will.

 

[SleepyOwl]

Wow Lauren - what a day you've had!! In a sense it's good that at least now you know that something is up (although you seem to have had a sneaking suspicion for a while), but now hopefully they can do something about it and you can make some serious decisions that will help you get that BFP. That is crazy that the doc suggested that IVF is an option at this point - but they know best I suppose! Is this something that you would be interested in or are you pretty set on doing the HSG first? When's the next time you'll be seeing your doc or hearing from her? This definitely sounds like a bump in your TTC journey, but lxb is right - your baby is waiting for just the right time to be made

Sashimi: So true! The timing is always perfect when it happens and it always seems to bring the most perfect little ones into people's lives. I can't wait til we're at that point!

 

[lauren26]

Thanks Sleepy and lxb. I hope that you are right--that the time will come. For now I am trying to focus on being grateful for the other things that are going right in our life. We saw some seriously poor people in rough, rough situations in the South, and in comparison my life is going perfectly! It's just reminding me that these things really only happen by the grace of god, and that it's always a miracle! Not trying to sound super religious, lol, but that's how I feel. So. If I am meant to get pregnant I will! If not, I won't! Sleepy, I don't think that OH and I will ever go the IVF route at $30,000 for a cycle. It's just completely out of the range of things we can consider at this point. I will do the HSG, I just don't know when. It probably won't be this month.

 

[SleepyOwl]

Omg 30K for one cycle?? I knew it was expensive but didn't realize how much it actually cost!!

 

[lauren26]

I know!! It is less for subsequent cycles, but still like $17,000 or something. It's pretty crazy! That's how much it is at the clinic I'm going to, anyway. OH's cousin did 3 cycles of IVF and I think the initial was $20,000 and then it was either $12,000 or $8,000 for the other two. STILL! That's a lot of bananas, lol.

 

[Pino6161]

SashimiMimi--- Your niece sounds so sweet, you have to treasure them when they are young and adorable cause when they get bigger they can be brats LOL my nephew just these last 2 years started going down the brat road LOL. I still love him though. Keep at it with trying to keep yourself distracted. I say this cause I know after trying for so long it gets difficult not to think about it, and not do what you have been doing. I look at TTC like an addiction until we get to the score LOL. I can’t believe your vaction is so close. You have to keep us posted though, don’t be dropping off the face of BnB LOL. I really hope you have fun, and you can relax enough for your body to beat the odds

Lauren---It sounds like you had a fun vacation, except for the long travel part LOL. I am hoping one day, we can just snap our fingers and be where we want to be LOL. I am so sorry to hear about the cysts, hopefully they are the kind that just go away by themselves. I know the feeling, just regular TTCing costs, let alone the Dr apt’s etc. Especially cause here in the US insurance doesn’t cover fertility treatments.

 

[countrygirl86]

lauren - glad you loved the beach! That's my favourite place too, I think I could lay on a beach everyday and never get tired of it lol Travel days are the worst part of vacation, it's still part of the vacation but it's rushed and full of delays (and puppy dogs in pink shirts)! I'm sorry your doctor didn't have easier to hear news. That would have been a lot to take in at one appointment I know you are a while away from it anyway but that does seem expensive for IVF, here it's about $12000 for the first cycle. You aren't out, this is just yet another challenge on the road to your perfect little baby... What did DH think of it all?

Pino - awesome news about OH's citizenship! It's all coming together for your little family to start Is there anyway it could be implantation bleeding?

Lika - so cool that you live in Italy! Let us know how your appointment went.

lxb - glad you aren't having too crazy of symptoms yet, let's hope they don't show up! I'm doing well, basically just the sore boobs and tearing/stretching feeling when I sneeze or cough.

Sashimi - Your trip is so soon, can you taste the salty ocean air? Hope the weather in BC is nice for you too. Atta girl for giviner at the gym, that's an awesome outlet for your energy. Your niece sounds absolutely adorable! They are like little sponges at that age. That is exactly it, she wouldn't be the same little girl if she was created at a different time and yours is just waiting for the right time too. It doesn't make the wait any easier but will make the arrival that much sweeter. I'm feeling well thanks, no bad symptoms.

Sleepy - how are you? Geared up for this cycle? Going to SMEP the heck out of it?

Ladies I'm so glad to have all of you

 

[preg_pilot]

Pino6161. I am hoping one day, we can just snap our fingers and be where we want to be LOL.

Hehe. I certainly hope not, as that would put me out of a job

 

[Pino6161]

Country--- I wish it was implantation LOL. I think I jinxed it. It was lighter the first day an a half, and I was worried. Then of course I post my concerns and boom, it decides to get heavier LOL. The cramping is the same this month, but I didn't break out acne wise as bad, and my breasts did not get the slightest bit sore, I think that is why is shocked my the AF just happened, at least that is how it feels, OH laughed at me and told me he is glad they didn't get sore the week before cause when they get sore he is not allowed to touch LOL.

Anyways, I am feeling good today besides the back ache, and I have quite a bit of energy so I am going to clean the house!!

 

[lxb]

I love how I come on this thread... and see a lot of my favorite people viewing this thread!

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 5 (5 members and 0 guests)
lxb, lauren26, SleepyOwl, Pino6161, SashimiMimi

Thanks for being my favorite people~

 

[lauren26]

country - Thank you! I really appreciate the support. This board is so wonderful And you're right--it's just a bump in the road. I actually talked with my mom for a long time about this last night and she said, 'You can't just give up because of a little thing like this!' and offered to pay for the HSG. I feel SO strange taking $$ from a parent because I've been on my own financially for such a long time, but she really insisted and said, 'You need to learn to accept help when it's offered!' Lol. So I did! I am a little nervous about the test because I've heard it can be uncomfortable and because of all the info I already got hit with yesterday, but I suppose it's in for a penny in for a pound at this point (as far as information goes--not $ lol). DH was really supportive and was very concerned about the cysts. He didn't understand that they are mostly harmless. I can see where he's coming from -- it sounds gross and looked gross on the u/s screen. Anyway, we both decided that if I was meant to go forward with the test and any info it brings then we'd have $ show up or one of us would just 'know' that it was time. Right away the $ came, so there you go! The beach is amazing, isn't it?? Do you have beaches near Toronto? I guess I could just look at a map... I bet they are chilly beaches if you do! Are you and DH going to take a vacation/babymoon this year?

 

[lauren26]

Pino - I hope they are the kind of cysts that just shrink, too! Since she thinks they are endometrial cysts I don't know. Originally the lab lady said that they'd probably do bc pills to shrink them but I think they won't now. I don't know for sure. Weirdly my insurance doesn't cover bcp. How is your knee?? Are you feeling a lot better?

lxb - Thank you too!!! I just now figured out how to see who is viewing, lol.

 

[Pino6161]

My knee is doing much better, I do have to wrap it when I excersize to keep it from popping, but it is feeling much better.

I know that accepting the money from your mom is weird, but I am glad she offered. She knows how badly you want this, and she is willing to do what she can to help, I think that is so sweet. My question for you, and I don't want to sound like a downer, but hypothetically, if this fails will you guys be able to do one round of IVF now that she is paying for this. Sorry, I can't help think like this, especially after SashimiMimi's sit.... Just curious, and you don't have to answer if I am getting to personal.

 

[lauren26]

Pino - We deffffffinitely can't pay for IVF!! Lol. No way no how. So I've sort of come full circle at this point...I called to start scheduling the appointment for the HSG and now I'm not sure if I want to do it. I asked the nurse whether they can do a procedure to unblock my tubes if they are blocked and she said no.....I have heard many times that there is something they can do, so now I'm confused. I also have read several stories now of women who got an HSG and they were blocked, and later unblocked. Some women had blocked tubes, went in for lap to clear out blockage and/or something else and right before/during surgery discovered they were pregnant....it brings me back to feeling like I will get pregnant if it's God's will and if not then I won't! So right now I'm questioning whether to put myself through this painful test and put myself through possibly getting rough news right before my birthday. I am not sure in this moment if it's better to 'know' or get 'facts' or just take a big huge step back and trust that whatever happens is perfect. Or both! Whew. I did not expect to come back to all of this! But yes, we cannot afford IVF, and won't be getting help with that. If my tubes ARE clear then they want to continue monitoring the cysts and the nurse mentioned cycle monitoring and IUI...I just don't want to commit to that right now! If the tubes are clear I could certainly just stop my visits and take a breather. Anyway, I'm totally rambling now. The point is that I don't know what to do! Lol.

 

[Pino6161]

lauren--- It is not rambling LOL. I understand not being able to afford it, I am in the same boat. Hopefully they are not blocked, and then you will be able to relax just a little bit. I am praying for you!

 

[lauren26]

Thank you! And in the end I've decided to wait a month. This is just all happening so fast and my birthday is on Monday--I want to take a little step back and enjoy my summer some before finding out any more news, lol! This time last year (right before my Bday) I found out I had severe adrenal fatigue and would have to go on a strict diet all summer. I am ready to be out of the woods and just enjoy myself for a bit My doc still wants to monitor the cysts, and that part still weirds me out a bit, but hopefully they will just go away and not grow super huge like they can sometimes do.

 

[SleepyOwl]

I think that's a great idea Lauren! Especially because this is a lot of information and it's all happening very fast. You should def. give yourself time to process it all and settle on what it is you want to do. Also you should totally enjoy your birthday and enjoy the summer without having this weighing so heavily on you!! But real quick back to the HSG and your mom - SO sweet of her to pay for it whenever you are ready to have it done. I know it feels weird taking money from them since we are older, but I think we'll always be their babies! It definitely helps having such a great support system in your family through this whole process!!