Could use a buddy

[lauren26]

Thanks guys! You're right--my chart is looking super normal now and that's good. I do wish I could lengthen the LP, but I guess I can't have it all right away! Pouring rain right now but we are still planning to go out soon.

 

[Pino6161]

Thanks guys! You're right--my chart is looking super normal now and that's good. I do wish I could lengthen the LP, but I guess I can't have it all right away! Pouring rain right now but we are still planning to go out soon.

you tell that rain to come down to arizona, it's hot and dryand dirty and dusty LOL

 

[SleepyOwl]

Thanks guys! You're right--my chart is looking super normal now and that's good. I do wish I could lengthen the LP, but I guess I can't have it all right away! Pouring rain right now but we are still planning to go out soon.

One step at a time! You're definitely getting there and making progress. Are you having fun in NOLA? I hope you two are enjoying every minute!!

Sashimi - So sorry AF showed. Just adding insult to injury I suppose. You have had to deal with so much the past few years it seems - I hope you get some much needed rest, relaxation and peace of mind on vacation. You definitely deserve an amazing vacation with OH - when do you two head to Hawaii?

I told OH I wasn't going to that shower and was planning on RSVP'ing no this weekend. Then has asked if I thought I was being just a bit selfish. All I said was no and he hasn't brought it up since. I think he gets the picture - I don't care if it's selfish or not. I don't want to be the party-pooper or ruin the shower for OH. I told him he was more than welcome to go without me.

 

[SashimiMimi]

Hi Guys! I can't thank you all enough for your kind words. I'm better today than yesterday... Or at least I was until I logged into Facebook only to see the announcement that this slimeball's stripper girlfriend is pregnant. The posted a + on a HPT. Even the stripper is pregnant... I actually think that was enough to make me deactivate Facebook.

Anyway, I hit the gym again for a boot came class and it really helped. I see now why my SIL got so into marathon running during her 3 years of TTC. Every time I want to cry I push harder and it really helps.

Still can't believe AF showed up early. This shifts my cycle up so I'm worried that my window will fall when we are in Vancouver and its tough to BD staying with FIL.

I'm exhausted and my legs and arms are noodles. I'll write more tomorrow and respond to everyone's messages.

Honestly couldnt have gone through the last few days without all of you

 

[Pino6161]

Sash-- I am glad you feel better. I know what you mean about FB though, if I didn't keep up with family on there, I wouldn't have it. I am glad you are finding an outlet for your stress though, cause you don't want it bubbling inside you.

Does this mean you have decided to keep up with TTC/ or are you going to just take it easy?? Lot's of love, and lots of

 

[SleepyOwl]

Sooo glad you're feeling better Sashimi!! Nothing like a good workout to get all that negative energy out.

 

[SashimiMimi]

Pino we will NTNP during the trip, but I think I need a couple months off from the fertility clinic. Its time consuming, is putting a major dent in my bank account and most of all, I don't know how to handle another bfn from there. I'm taking a cue from you on the exercise and diet, I need a time out to get my mental and physical health back in shape and if anything I need a break from fertility drugs. My AF is dark and lumpy, like paint that has gone bad. I've never had an AF like this.

Sleepy how are you feeling?

Going to bed for real. More tomorrow!!

 

[Pino6161]

That's good, maybe a break is needed. We can be diet buddies LOL.

Do you think maybe the funny AF is a side effect of the fertility treatments?

 

[lxb]

Sashimi - Hm... funny AF sounds fishy..... Is it some leftover old blood? NTNP sounds good to me. Still should BD every other day though...

 

[lauren26]

Eeee I can feel AF coming, boo! Lol. Sashimi good thinking on focusing on health and NtNP.

Sleepy, are you going to test or wait for AF to be late?

We are still having fun and will get our rental tomorrow and head to Alabama for the festival. We are driving up a scenic highway and I'm excited for OH to see more of the South that I love so much.

Jason Segel is in Nola--a few sightings so far. I am not a big celeb person but I have had the Am I A Man Or Am I A Muppet song in my head this whole trip so it's a funny coincidence.

 

[SashimiMimi]

Hi Gang! I think I'm finally feeling back to normal and I feel absolutely terrible for being such a sourpuss over the past couple days, especially when two amazing ladies (Lxb and Country) got their long-awaited BFPs. I haven't been supportive as I've been stuck in a "poor me" rut and I want you both to know how incredibly happy I am for you both!!! I told my mom both your stories and she said, see it's all about it being the right time. When the time is right, it will happen. So I'm feeling slightly more optimistic, but still feel I need a break from the fertility clinic for a while. Between starting my new job and getting caught up in a whirlwind of appointments, it's become too much and I think I need to take a step back and reassess.

Haribo: You are right, I have to remember that I won't always feel this low. Each day has gotten a bit better and I think I've finally accepted the BFFN for this round!!! I know everyone says think positive and I did, and I think that is what made it harder to accept. Such a catch 22.

Country: Yes, if you are EVER coming down this way we do have to meet for a decaf beverage! Or we could always plan to meet half way over the summer. I feel silly for saying this, but every time I think about the Kingston area, I think about that guy Ryan Malcolm who won the first Canadian Idol because he was from there. I wonder what ever happened to him!!! I'm annoyed that they are bringing American reality shows to Canada in the fall like The Bachelor Canada and Canadian Big Brother, didn't the learn from the massive failure that was Canadian Idol??

Lauren, sorry you feel AF coming. I love Jason Segal!!! That must have been an exciting celeb spotting. I'm not a big celeb person either, but I really like him in How I Met Your Mother.

Lxb- AF is more normal today. I don't know what was going on, but I'm sure it had to do with the fertility drugs. I'm actually looking forward to not being on those dang drugs this month, because I can feel my body not seeming quite right. So besides the mental break, a physical break will be good as well.

Pino- Diet buddies it is! I caved and had a bagel this morning, but it is cold and super rainy after several days of summery sunshiney weather. It was a bagel and hot tea kind of morning!

So I'm still stressing and calculating BDing over the trip. I really wish AF hadn't shown up this early because it's throwing my whole schedule off. iPeriod is predicting my fertility window to be between June 10-15... I guess that's okay because we arrive in Hawaii the night of the 11th. But I wanted to O toward the end of my trip! I feel really uncomfortable BDing while staying with FIL. Oh well, if I O around June 14 let's say (CD 15) then so be it. OH and I will be BDing regardless, as we haven't had much of a BD life since starting fertility treatments. I'm always too scared to do anything during the TWW and then become very uncomfortable on the fertility drugs at the beginning of the cycle. So it will be good for us to reconnect on a non-TTC level. It would be great to come home with a BFP, because it has always been my dream to conceive on a romantic getaway, but I won't hold my breath. My acupuncturist says it is common for people to get a BFP after they have been on fertility drugs.

 

[countrygirl86]

lauren - glad you are making the best of your vacay! Are you feeling any less stressed? I felt a huge relief when DH and I went away in February. And I love the Muppets! That was such a good movie too! How cool to see him on your trip, it's one of those stories you can tell your kids (which will be soon).

Pino - it's raining here now so I'm sending it your way!

lxb - poppy seed buddy!

Sleepy - you aren't being selfish, you are taking care of yourself! Men don't understand in the slightest what it's like, there isn't a male equivalent of a baby shower! I'm excited for you to test!

Sashimi - happy to hear you are feeling more yourself! I don't think your trip could have been planned at a better time. Other than the BDing at the right times but you may find ways around it anyway. Last summer we were spending the night at my dad's cottage and a huge storm came in so it was really windy/rainy/loud and DH was frisky so it all worked out lol! Oh that guy was awful wasn't he? And the show was terrible lol I think I only watched the last one because it was a guy from Kingston but he hasn't gone anywhere with his career as far as I know! You've said it before but what day do you leave for BC?

 

[SashimiMimi]

Country I leave Thursday of next week for BC! Then the 11th for Hawaii!! After the Canadian Idol stint, I remember that guy being in a children's musical pantomime in Toronto. After that, I can't say much happened... LOL I wonder what he would think if he knew people were discussing him on a fertility message board. Happy that anyone remembers him? Or sad that he went from the first Canadian Idol to fertility board chatter?

 

[countrygirl86]

lol I would think he would be happy he's getting any attention from women at all! Your trip has really snuck up, are you packed? We sure are going to miss you on here but you'll have to tell us all about it!

Hope everyone has a great weekend and the weather is whatever you want it to be! Rain here but we need it for the flowers

 

[SleepyOwl]

Lauren - I love Jason Segel! He's hilarious. Whenever I think of him I think of Forgetting Sarah Marshall when he's in sweatpants yelling, "You shall not pass!!" Might be my favorite scene of any movie, lol!!

Sashimi - Sooo good to hear your spirits are back up!! Sometimes you just need a few days to process everything. It's totally normal to go through that "woe is me" stage. TTC takes so much out of us!! You are going to have soo much fun on your vacation. Maybe you will O a day or two late and you won't have to worry about BDing at FIL's place. Excited for your trip!!

As for me, I started spotting pink CM when I wiped this morning, which ALWAYS happens two days before AF. Plus my boobs are not sore at all anymore and I'm not anywhere near as tired as I have been. I know AF hasn't shown and you're not out until she does, but I'm sure I'm out at this point. I feel REALLY low. Like having trouble holding back the tears today. I couldn't even tell OH I started spotting because I knew I would be a mess before heading out this morning. Probably tell him tonight so I can cry myself to sleep and hopefully I will feel better tomorrow. It really doesn't help that I got that stupid baby shower invite. Why does it happen so easy for some people and take so much time for others? I'm like super bitter today - just need to get it out of my system I suppose before I mentally move onto the next cycle.

 

[SashimiMimi]

Oh, Sleepy! That is the big question isn't it... why is it so easy for some and not for others. Why does it come to easily to the teenage girl who will terminate it and not the loving couple we desperately wants to start a family? I feel the same way about the Stripper BFP on FB as you do about the shower invite. And now it sounds like the whole shower situation is exactly how I felt about visiting our friends and the new baby. It really wasn't the new baby that made me feel apprehensive about going, it was the "any news?" or "why are you drinking water? wink wink" questions that I knew I wouldn't be able to handle. In the end, it was completely fine and I felt bad for having ever worried. But I say a shower situation is different, at a shower you are surrounded by friends and acquaintances who will probably ask when you and OH will have kids, you will be surrounded by ridiculous games that may or may not include melted chocolate bars on diapers, as well the watching of the opening of endless gifts... Maybe I'm just not a "showery" person myself even before TTC (I had a very non-traditional bridal shower), but you are not being rude or selfish at all. You guys showed me that in my own situation last weekend, so I hope you don't feel that way even if your OH is saying that. Funny how both mine and yours didn't get it.

I don't think men can understand what it's like to deal with fertility each month. I'm actually having one hell of an AF and I'm going to assume that it's from the 4 egg O. I have cramps from hell, and all the other PMS symptoms intensified. It's a reminder of the BFFN, but like everything else it's going to pass.

So do what's best for you and don't put yourself in a situation where you know you will feel vulnerable. I have had this awful anxious feeling in my stomach all day and I think this is the first cycle where I actual feel that maybe I am incapable of getting pregnant. I could barely handle a failed IUI, so I think I would just want to die if we did IVF and that failed, too. I'm way too sensitive and emotional a person and for the first time in a year of TTC I don't know if it will be a "when" I get my BFP, but more like an "if". I hate that feeling.

 

[lxb]

sleepy - it's only normal how you're feeling and that baby shower! And definitely not selfish at all. Like Sashimi said, don't put yourself in that situation where you know you will feel vulnerable. Men.... they can't really understand what we're going through each month.. and what's on our mind on a day-to-day basis. I hope you feel better by tomorrow. Pick that positive energy back up and we shall see a BFP next cycle! Go SMEP!

Sashimi - Ahh.... PMS... BFFN! No more thinking of "if".. it will be "when". I believe that will be the case for you and you should too.

 

[SleepyOwl]

Lxb and Sashimi - Thank you both for understanding and for the encouragement! Overall I am feeling a bit better already. I went to the bathroom and there was more spotting, but right now I feel okay with that. I think the reason why it is getting so hard for me at this point seeing BFN's and getting my period. I always felt fairly young and now that I am quickly approaching 30, this sense of urgency is really kicking in. I am worried that maybe there is something wrong with me. Especially since it took my sister so long to conceive. Plus the constant waiting is just brutal. As for the shower, OH replied no for the two of us. I think at this point that is best - the less questions I have to answer the better. Plus the shower would fall at the end of June - right around when AF should come. Probably not the best timing, lol.

Sashimi - Your crazy AF has to be because of all those eggs. 4 eggs!! That must do a number on your body. Hopefully taking a break this month will get you back to a better place both physically and mentally. I'm going to take a cue from you and hit the gym hard this weekend and work off some stress and frustration, plus I need to get ready for the summer!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Country: I didn't see your message. Yes, the trip really has snuck up! I'll probably pack on Sunday when OH is golfing. I take forever to pack, so there is no way I want to leave it until last minute during the week when I'm at work full time. Have you seen the reports about Union Station in Toronto completely flooding with rain and raw sewage?? I ended up working from home today because I wasn't feeling well, I would have been trapped otherwise. OH is going to have a hell of a time getting home because the entire subway line has shut down!

Sleepy: I can't stand the gym, but it surprisingly has helped a lot... especially with this cycle. My SIL finally got her BFP as you know after 4 IUIs, but by that time she was really into marathon training... maybe that helped? I'm taking a day off from the gym today, I didn't sleep at all last night and today I feel sore from head to toe thanks to yesterday's boot camp class, not to mention the AF cramps!

 

[lauren26]

Sleepy and Sashimi, AF and all te hormones that come with are rough!!! I have been anxious today too and have also been dealing with the possibility that I can't get pg. I know I am just starting fertility treatments/advising, but it actually has felt better to allow that possibility into my awareness. I'm glad you got to say home Sashimi as Sleepy i hope you get some TLC tonight!

Lxb and country i haven't forgotten your pg threads--it's hard to keep up on my phone!! Anyway, following just not writing much still really excited for you both!

Treasured, and news??

Pino how are u?