Could use a buddy
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SashimiMimi
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It's too quiet in here! Where is everyone!?!?
preg_pilot
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I´m still here, just working a lot these days 
I know!! This thread has been sooo quiet lately. I think we had an exciting/overwhelming week though. I spend the day running errands and hanging out with my fam. We were supposed to go out with our close friends, but I really wasn't up to going out and people scrutinizing my every move if I drank or not. Being with family was definitely easier because they don't ask any questions.
How's everyone's weekend going??
How's everyone's weekend going??
SashimiMimi
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It's been rotten weather here. There was a massive flood at Toronto's Union Station yesterday which practically shut down the city, and today there was an 8-person shooting at a mall I was at just the other day. Most people who were shot we're innocent bystanders and one of them was a 13 year old boy. A pregnant woman got pushed over and trampled and went into labour! Such a terrifying thing to happen!
I've spent most of the weekend researching all of the reasons for my inability to get pregnant so far and am convinced I must have endo or something like that. I've looked at adoption sites and then feel sick at the thought of raising someone else's baby, OH and I discussed IVFand agreed that we could only do one or two attempts or we would be wiped out financially. I said I dont feel like i could handle going through ivf only to have it fail. TTC is starting to feel like gambling. I feel myself slipping into a depression and I think for the sake of my marriage I need to take a break from the fertility clinic and TTC at least for the summer. It will be hard, because part of me thinks what if this will be my month? But I know another month of putting my body through fertility drugs, the constant blood tests and ultrasounds and the invasiveness of the IUI, only to get a BFN will destroy me.
I've decided I'm not going to bring OPKs or anything like that on our trip next week. If we feel like BD then we'll BD, not because it's the right time but because we feel like it. I feel like I've been trying to force something that isn't meant to happen right now and I'm officially waving a white flag.
Sorry to sound like a bit of a downer again here. I've been in somewhat of a constant state of anxiety since the BFN, and my head is filled with endless "what ifs".
Sleepy, I know how you feel with the scrutinizing. It was like that awful surprise party I went to at the end of April. So many people were whispering in OH's ear asking if I was PG. or when I met a friend for a drink, his friends who I had never met all asked if I was PG because I was drinking club soda. people have no idea do they!?! So I think that another reason I need to take a break. I just want to be able to go to summer events and enjoy them with out the questioning! How are you feeling this weekend anyway?
I've spent most of the weekend researching all of the reasons for my inability to get pregnant so far and am convinced I must have endo or something like that. I've looked at adoption sites and then feel sick at the thought of raising someone else's baby, OH and I discussed IVFand agreed that we could only do one or two attempts or we would be wiped out financially. I said I dont feel like i could handle going through ivf only to have it fail. TTC is starting to feel like gambling. I feel myself slipping into a depression and I think for the sake of my marriage I need to take a break from the fertility clinic and TTC at least for the summer. It will be hard, because part of me thinks what if this will be my month? But I know another month of putting my body through fertility drugs, the constant blood tests and ultrasounds and the invasiveness of the IUI, only to get a BFN will destroy me.
I've decided I'm not going to bring OPKs or anything like that on our trip next week. If we feel like BD then we'll BD, not because it's the right time but because we feel like it. I feel like I've been trying to force something that isn't meant to happen right now and I'm officially waving a white flag.
Sorry to sound like a bit of a downer again here. I've been in somewhat of a constant state of anxiety since the BFN, and my head is filled with endless "what ifs".
Sleepy, I know how you feel with the scrutinizing. It was like that awful surprise party I went to at the end of April. So many people were whispering in OH's ear asking if I was PG. or when I met a friend for a drink, his friends who I had never met all asked if I was PG because I was drinking club soda. people have no idea do they!?! So I think that another reason I need to take a break. I just want to be able to go to summer events and enjoy them with out the questioning! How are you feeling this weekend anyway?
Okay the weather and the shooting - that is just awful!!! People are so terrible 
We had a day or two of really crazy rain and tornados which is not normal for the DC area. Thankfully we didn't lose power and it passed fairly quickly. Lucky for us, we had a gorgeous weekend. I think our bad weather made its way up to you Sashimi!
I think that's a great idea to forget about TTC and just enjoy your time with OH on your vacation. There's no need for the stress and pressure of OPK's and timed BD when you're there. Are you and OH both set on taking a TTC break for the summer then? Will it be more NTNP and then back to IUI/IVF? My sister took 4 IUIs to finally get pregnant and was ready to move onto IVF if the 4th cycle didn't work - fortunately it did, but I know it was just heartbreaking because of all the time and money you put into it. I'm hoping Mama Sashimi is right about her "feeling" that she had for you and OH and in Hawaii.
I think that constant state of anxiety is totally understandable. Lately I've been feeling that more and more - and just been taken with a general sense of fear. I've only been seriously trying for 5 cycles now (NTNP for more than a year though), which really isn't too long, but that nagging feeling is still there. Generally speaking though, I think I'm back to my normal self. I needed a day of total self-pity and now I'm over it. Ready to make a baby!!
We had a day or two of really crazy rain and tornados which is not normal for the DC area. Thankfully we didn't lose power and it passed fairly quickly. Lucky for us, we had a gorgeous weekend. I think our bad weather made its way up to you Sashimi! I think that's a great idea to forget about TTC and just enjoy your time with OH on your vacation. There's no need for the stress and pressure of OPK's and timed BD when you're there. Are you and OH both set on taking a TTC break for the summer then? Will it be more NTNP and then back to IUI/IVF? My sister took 4 IUIs to finally get pregnant and was ready to move onto IVF if the 4th cycle didn't work - fortunately it did, but I know it was just heartbreaking because of all the time and money you put into it. I'm hoping Mama Sashimi is right about her "feeling" that she had for you and OH and in Hawaii.
I think that constant state of anxiety is totally understandable. Lately I've been feeling that more and more - and just been taken with a general sense of fear. I've only been seriously trying for 5 cycles now (NTNP for more than a year though), which really isn't too long, but that nagging feeling is still there. Generally speaking though, I think I'm back to my normal self. I needed a day of total self-pity and now I'm over it. Ready to make a baby!!
flying home tomorrow night and will try to share some pics!SashimiMimi
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My AF is still going strong. And to top it all off I have a giant zit right in the middle of my forehead!! I look like Quasimodo! It had better go away before my trip... I am after all turning 31 next Tuesday! Giant zit + vacation + turning 31 do not mix!!
preg_pilot
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-Sashimimimi
Wow, I feel lucky, the weather here has been amazing all week, temps in the +20°C´s, and guns are illegal here, so not a lot of shootings going on ever...
I hope you feel better soon, it will do you good to relax and enjoy the summer
I hear ya on the zits... my face looks like rough lava these days.
Hopefully it´ll go away before your vacation.
Have fun, and cocktails, and sunshine, and beachlaying, and seaswimming and just everything you fancy in your vacation
Wow, I feel lucky, the weather here has been amazing all week, temps in the +20°C´s, and guns are illegal here, so not a lot of shootings going on ever...
I hope you feel better soon, it will do you good to relax and enjoy the summer
I hear ya on the zits... my face looks like rough lava these days.
Hopefully it´ll go away before your vacation.
Have fun, and cocktails, and sunshine, and beachlaying, and seaswimming and just everything you fancy in your vacation
lxb
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lauren - how was the beach?? beach sounds sooo nice right now~~~ (when does it NOT sound nice?! 
)
sleepy -
time to make a baby!!! I think 6 is your lucky number!
sashimi - Boo that zit!! Are you ready for your vacation?? All done with packing?
)sleepy -
time to make a baby!!! I think 6 is your lucky number!sashimi - Boo that zit!! Are you ready for your vacation?? All done with packing?
countrygirl86
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I agree with Sleepy, what an overwhelming week for everyone last week!
Sashimi, you don't sound like a downer, you sound like you're making decisions for your wellbeing! Your plan sounds wonderful, summer is a perfect time to take a bit of a break and just let loose and you can come back to it when you are ready (if you don't get the BFP in the meantime). Please have a lovely fruity drink for me in Hawaii! I heard about Union Station and the shooting, just awful (moreso the shooting). Glad you are alright! I have faith your zit will be gone. I got a cold sore with my last AF which felt like a double sting!
Sleepy, glad you had good weather this weekend! I was with Sashimi on the weather, DH and I were supposed to go camping but he chickened out so we cancelled. You, Lauren and Sashimi will all be around the same cycle this month!
lauren, hope you enjoyed the beach! Can't wait to see pics!
lxb, how are you doing?
Sashimi, you don't sound like a downer, you sound like you're making decisions for your wellbeing! Your plan sounds wonderful, summer is a perfect time to take a bit of a break and just let loose and you can come back to it when you are ready (if you don't get the BFP in the meantime). Please have a lovely fruity drink for me in Hawaii! I heard about Union Station and the shooting, just awful (moreso the shooting). Glad you are alright! I have faith your zit will be gone. I got a cold sore with my last AF which felt like a double sting!
Sleepy, glad you had good weather this weekend! I was with Sashimi on the weather, DH and I were supposed to go camping but he chickened out so we cancelled. You, Lauren and Sashimi will all be around the same cycle this month!
lauren, hope you enjoyed the beach! Can't wait to see pics!
lxb, how are you doing?
lauren26
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Sashimi- I think it's a great idea to take a break, and I will likely do te same after this cycle. My doc will prob want to start meds so I'll give TTC a go this cycle if she does, but if she doesn't I will probably just give up for a month and forget about it! Beig away and not temping for a few days has allowed me to notice that I can and do feel relaxed when I'm nt focusing all of my attention on TTC, which I tend to do since I'm still on the job hunt. Anyway, you and OH are going to have a fantastic vacation and lots of time together--there's no reason to compromise that time away with stress ad opks! I hope the prophecy proves true and you get yor bfp while you're away, but either way I know you will have a great trip and birthday, zit or no zit!
Sleepy - I really felt similarly to you at around month 5 or 6. I think the novelty wore off for me and the hard work started being emphasized--plus my fear of it not happening! You have great charts though, and seems like you have really normal cycles and you ARE charting, so you're doing all you need! Plus they say that there's a 20% chance or something each month youdo it "right"....I am not trying to sound like everyone else in the world, lol, but I like your attitude about gods perfect timing and am trying to adopt the same mindset!
Afm, waiting in the airport to fly home. I am really starting to wonder if i can't have kids at all, ad amazingly I feel more ready than ever to hear that news. I still HOPE I never hear it, but I'm resigned to whatever is meant to be for us.
Sleepy - I really felt similarly to you at around month 5 or 6. I think the novelty wore off for me and the hard work started being emphasized--plus my fear of it not happening! You have great charts though, and seems like you have really normal cycles and you ARE charting, so you're doing all you need! Plus they say that there's a 20% chance or something each month youdo it "right"....I am not trying to sound like everyone else in the world, lol, but I like your attitude about gods perfect timing and am trying to adopt the same mindset!
Afm, waiting in the airport to fly home. I am really starting to wonder if i can't have kids at all, ad amazingly I feel more ready than ever to hear that news. I still HOPE I never hear it, but I'm resigned to whatever is meant to be for us.
lauren26
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Lxb ad country - The beach was amaaaaaazing! I wish we had more time and days there, but we will just have to plan for more beach next time around! I also had never been to Florida and we went to the beach in Pensacola, so I got to visit a new state! Everything was amazing--it was only a week but felt like 3 vacations. I will write more and post pics later!!
Pino6161
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Gosh you guys went through a lot of pages w/out me LOL
Lauren--- I LOVE JASON SEGAL LOL. Sorry AF got you, at least I know we are not alone in this trying game. I mean OH tries, but sometimes just doesn’t suffice. I hope you had a fun trip! Can’t wait for the pics!!
SashimiMimi--- I totally ruined my diet the last couple days LOL. Tomorrow I will be back on track!! So we can be diet buddies LOL. Maybe a break will be a good thing. Not just for your stress, but to rekindle w/ your OH as it sounds like he is having a hard time as well and he is trying his best to be strong about it. The weather sounds horrible!! People are so careless, and mean shooting innocent people, and that poor pregnant women, I don’t really have any words for it. I know what you mean about adoption, as I feel the same way. Many people call me selfish for saying I couldn’t adopt my first child, but I would be so scared to have my feelings rub off on a child. I got zit in the middle of my forehead as well!! LOL
Sleepy--- Sorry AF got you!! Onto next month, and hopefully we will all get our BFP’s
Country and LXB--- I know I have not been as supportive as I should, and I do apologize. I really am very happy for you. I didn’t mean to be so selfish. Happy appleseeds LOL
So about me LOL--- Well AF came this afternoon. I am surprisingly happy about it. I mean I am disappointed I’m not prego, but it isn’t supposed to come for about 4 days, so that means my cycle is getting shorter, which means my FertilAid is working. The weird part is that I had no signs of it coming except slight cramping at random times. My breasts didn’t get sore or anything. It is weird. This also means I get to play with my toys starting tomorrow LOL. So yesterday OH talked me into drinking, and I was feeling really guilty, so I feel better knowing AF is here. Me and OH met with the lawyer today, and it went GREAT. w/ in 3 months he will have a temporary work permit, and in 6 months he will have his residency, and in 3 years we can get his citizenship. In about a week we have to go sign papers, and then just wait. It is a big relief off my back! Just remembered I need batteries for my monitor. I will talk to you all later!!
Lauren--- I LOVE JASON SEGAL LOL. Sorry AF got you, at least I know we are not alone in this trying game. I mean OH tries, but sometimes just doesn’t suffice. I hope you had a fun trip! Can’t wait for the pics!!
SashimiMimi--- I totally ruined my diet the last couple days LOL. Tomorrow I will be back on track!! So we can be diet buddies LOL. Maybe a break will be a good thing. Not just for your stress, but to rekindle w/ your OH as it sounds like he is having a hard time as well and he is trying his best to be strong about it. The weather sounds horrible!! People are so careless, and mean shooting innocent people, and that poor pregnant women, I don’t really have any words for it. I know what you mean about adoption, as I feel the same way. Many people call me selfish for saying I couldn’t adopt my first child, but I would be so scared to have my feelings rub off on a child. I got zit in the middle of my forehead as well!! LOL
Sleepy--- Sorry AF got you!! Onto next month, and hopefully we will all get our BFP’s
Country and LXB--- I know I have not been as supportive as I should, and I do apologize. I really am very happy for you. I didn’t mean to be so selfish. Happy appleseeds LOL
So about me LOL--- Well AF came this afternoon. I am surprisingly happy about it. I mean I am disappointed I’m not prego, but it isn’t supposed to come for about 4 days, so that means my cycle is getting shorter, which means my FertilAid is working. The weird part is that I had no signs of it coming except slight cramping at random times. My breasts didn’t get sore or anything. It is weird. This also means I get to play with my toys starting tomorrow LOL. So yesterday OH talked me into drinking, and I was feeling really guilty, so I feel better knowing AF is here. Me and OH met with the lawyer today, and it went GREAT. w/ in 3 months he will have a temporary work permit, and in 6 months he will have his residency, and in 3 years we can get his citizenship. In about a week we have to go sign papers, and then just wait. It is a big relief off my back! Just remembered I need batteries for my monitor. I will talk to you all later!!
Pino, that is great that the meeting went well!! Such a relief I'm sure Things are definitely beginning to work out for you - next stop, BFP!
Sashimi and Pino - I'm trying to join you two on your diet/working out adventures. I just sat around all day since today was CD1 and I feel super bloated. Going to make sure I start going to the gym a few times a week. I really got lazy after the half marathon and I think that's been affecting my mood.
Things are definitely beginning to work out for you - next stop, BFP!Sashimi and Pino - I'm trying to join you two on your diet/working out adventures. I just sat around all day since today was CD1 and I feel super bloated. Going to make sure I start going to the gym a few times a week. I really got lazy after the half marathon and I think that's been affecting my mood.
lauren26
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Pino - yayyyy! Congrats to you and OH! It's so nice when big things like that start to move. And no, you are not alone in the teeing process! This cycle is #12 for us, so soon we will officially be "long term TTC" I think. I CERTAINLY fell off the diet wagon, LOL. I loooove the South, but let me tell you I'd blow up like a balloon if I lived here!
We are waiting to board our second flight right now and a dog in a pink tee shirt and diaper just crawled on my lap and said hello! I think she will be on my flight. Lol.
We are waiting to board our second flight right now and a dog in a pink tee shirt and diaper just crawled on my lap and said hello! I think she will be on my flight. Lol.
Pino6161
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YAY for dieting while TTC lol.
Lauren I know what you mean about it being LTTTC but I prefer being on this thread to those over there LOL It just makes me feel a bit better LOL
Sleepy---At least you did a half marathon! I do a half mile walking and feel like my lungs are going to blow LOL. I am gtting better though. I don't go to a gym cause the nearest one is half an hour away, and I am too lazy to drive LOL plus gas is crazy high right now. I stick to my work out videos. I did get a new one though. It's called Tae Bo. I will let you guys know how I like it if and when I open it LOL JK
Lauren I know what you mean about it being LTTTC but I prefer being on this thread to those over there LOL It just makes me feel a bit better LOL
Sleepy---At least you did a half marathon! I do a half mile walking and feel like my lungs are going to blow LOL. I am gtting better though. I don't go to a gym cause the nearest one is half an hour away, and I am too lazy to drive LOL plus gas is crazy high right now. I stick to my work out videos. I did get a new one though. It's called Tae Bo. I will let you guys know how I like it if and when I open it LOL JK
Hey ladies Glad to see y'all doing good And for those who AF got boo!!! Fxd for next cycle 
sashimi I hope you get better its okay to have down days sometime
Lauren-Geez u just made me miss FL!!! I lived in Miami beach for 6yrs before moving to Italy with my Dh, my parents still live there and I can't wait to be in American soil again lol Italy is awesome! But nothing beats the good ole USofA
Well as far as me ladies AF is nowhere to be seen, so I guess I just skipped a period ugh! I'm in limbo =\ tomorrow I have a doc appt for blood work, which I should have the results in 2 weeks. If everything comes back clear, DH agreed to let me try Fertibella and get the clear blue fertility monitor... So hoping for a 
in the months to come
For now, I'm just prepping for our road trip Saturday we are goin to a concert in Perugia(central Italy), it's about 7hrs drive from where we live in N. Italy so yep I'm excited
Happy Tuesday ladies!!!
Glad to see y'all doing good And for those who AF got boo!!! Fxd for next cycle sashimi I hope you get better
its okay to have down days sometime Lauren-Geez u just made me miss FL!!! I lived in Miami beach for 6yrs before moving to Italy with my Dh, my parents still live there and I can't wait to be in American soil again lol Italy is awesome! But nothing beats the good ole USofA
Well as far as me ladies AF is nowhere to be seen, so I guess I just skipped a period ugh! I'm in limbo =\ tomorrow I have a doc appt for blood work, which I should have the results in 2 weeks. If everything comes back clear, DH agreed to let me try Fertibella
and get the clear blue fertility monitor... So hoping for a in the months to come For now, I'm just prepping for our road trip Saturday
we are goin to a concert in Perugia(central Italy), it's about 7hrs drive from where we live in N. Italy so yep I'm excited Happy Tuesday ladies!!!
lxb
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lauren - ahh.. can't wait to see those pictures!! It all just sounds amazing!
pino - don't worry about it. We're all human and that just shows how much you want it. I have a feeling your baby wants to born in March like you've mentioned!! It's all great news and everything shall go uphill from now~~ 
Ohh.. I remember Tae Bo! I've tried it before and it was FUN!! I've been trying out zumba with some friends lately... still need to get the hang of it!
sleepy - I still can't believe you did that marathon!! I would be like Pino... half a mile and I'm out!! Oh.. only few more days then off to SMEP!
sashimi - I can just smell the hawaii wind~ 
for vacation!
lika - Happy Tuesday!! Hope all goes well with the dr. appt and for the bloodwork. Your roadtrip sounds exciting! Italy is definitely one of the places I want to visit~ DH & I r also planning a roadtrip to San Francisco (end of the month!)~~ Can't wait~
country - I'm doing okay~ Not much symptoms except for sleepiness/sore bbs/cramps. And I thought I was tired before!! How are you my appleseed buddy!
How is everyone today?
pino - don't worry about it. We're all human and that just shows how much you want it.
I have a feeling your baby wants to born in March like you've mentioned!! It's all great news and everything shall go uphill from now~~ Ohh.. I remember Tae Bo! I've tried it before and it was FUN!! I've been trying out zumba with some friends lately... still need to get the hang of it!sleepy - I still can't believe you did that marathon!! I would be like Pino... half a mile and I'm out!!
Oh.. only few more days then off to SMEP!sashimi - I can just smell the hawaii wind~
for vacation!lika - Happy Tuesday!! Hope all goes well with the dr. appt and for the bloodwork. Your roadtrip sounds exciting! Italy is definitely one of the places I want to visit~ DH & I r also planning a roadtrip to San Francisco (end of the month!)~~ Can't wait~
country - I'm doing okay~ Not much symptoms except for sleepiness/sore bbs/cramps. And I thought I was tired before!!
How are you my appleseed buddy! How is everyone today?
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