Could use a buddy

[lauren26]

Treasured - I know exactly how you feel!! I have been wanting to come on, too, but have avoided somewhat because I'm feeling pretty discouraged. I'm sorry you're feeling bad! I'm glad that your OH has a job that allows you guys more time together. And it's not too late to start temping at all. I sometimes skip the first week of my cycle, anyway. It'll be a practice round! I did get AF, yes. I have a phone consultation with my doctor next week re: my cysts and last ultrasound. I have a suspicion that she will tell me that she can't do anything for me and that a lap is too risky. At this point I'm not that invested in the information I get. I'm sure I'll feel devastated if she tells me she doesn't think I can conceive, but I'd rather just get it over with and move on. She won't have the final word, anyway!

 

[lxb]

lauren - yeah, how you're feeling is completely normal. like sashimi said, you'll feel more comfortable asking for time off once you settle in. Hopefully you'll get some good news next week from the dr.

pino - yea... I'm sure we'll get our BFP sooner if men could get knocked up!! I said to DH before... why can't you get pg? You men~ All you do is provide those and that's pretty much it. Us women had to go through the whole pregnancy... deal with body changes/exhaustion/etcetc. Stil hv my FX for you~ Think you're 12DPO now? I got a CLEAR BFN on 10/12DPO!

sleepy - I'll be staring at your chart closely this month!! Hopefully your temp will stay up at 12-13dpo!

treasured - gluck~~ Yess... time for SMEP~~ and temping really does help. and it definitely helped with my POAS addiction~

sashimi - glad you finally hear back from the clinic. it's just crazy to have to wait that long! That chat session better be helpful~ Ah yes, being a mom will be a forever job and I'm sure you'll get that job soon enough

country - camping trip sounds amazing! DH & I are planning to camp maybe in August time when it gets cooler here. LOVE being in nature. Being surrounded by giant pine trees~ Just felt so much healthier already!

haribo - 4 course meal sounds amazing!! When is your appt? Hope everything will be okay.

afm, just got back from our roadtrip~~ we covered 2000 miles in ~6 days! I only drove ~10 min during these 6 days~ It was a beautiful drive along the coast and sooo close to the beach! It felt nice not to be in 113F weather~~ It was a nice trip and I forgot about my u/s tomorrow! And started to worry again ~2 days ago when we were heading back home~ Not much symptoms again except for some sore bbsf and mini cramps here and there. This morning... I looked in the mirror and sucked in my stomach... and I don't see any bump at all. Trying to tell myself "it is what it is. and there's nothing I can do about it except to be healthy"... not working though...

 

[SleepyOwl]

Yay Lxb - welcome back!!

Lauren and Treasured - I've been feeling the same way. I love this site, but I've been just not really into posting or lurking even because I'm sort of over TTC. I don't know if I'm just tired or what, but keeping up this positive attitude is a little more difficult since AF arrived and since two of OH's friends announced they were pregnant after only 1 month of trying. Some people are so lucky I swear.

 

[countrygirl86]

Sleepy - sounds like a lot of us are in the B&B-break boat. I find the less I'm on here, the faster time seems to go by which is great up until we tell people.

lxb - I'm glad your trip went so well! And I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and can't wait to hear the results and see a scan pic of your bean

 

[treasured]

Yup, I agree with you all about a break from here. I just dont feel I have the energy anymore, I mean I did just order 30 OPKS online so im gonna use them, but Im not totally stressing out or counting days. OH starts his new job on monday so we will start smeping properly then, hopefully wont be too late for O which should be on thurs ish.

I think im probably NTNP right now and have been the last few months tbh, even when improperly TTC it seems OH is never more than NTNP lol. arggg!

Is it bad that im kinda scared to go to the docs? I recently had to transfer back to my old doctors which ive been going to since I was a child, and they all really know my mum as she has been in and out of the doctors MANY times! I feel they will really judge me because Im so young and i know its patient confidentiality but I feel they wont treat me the same because they know me. I'm also afraid of finding out that theres a problem

x

 

[treasured]

I meant to say they 'think im so young'. I dont feel young at all, having graduated from Uni, have a stable job and great partner.... but a lot of people dont see it that way

 

[treasured]

Girls, I have a question which has probably already been asked and answered many times but still confuses me!

From what I understand luteal phase length doesnt vary by that much, say mine is between 11-13 days now... and I have had a 28 day cycle for the last two cycles.
When I went to the loo today I checked my cervix and it seems quite low, but there was quite a lot of CM, not quite EWCM but very near to it. According to my CD16 ovulation I shouldnt be Oing for atleast another 5 or 6 days.

Basically what Im saying is, could my OPKS have been wrong before and I actually ovulate earlier?
Can you get EWCM when youre not Oing?
and could I O early one month but still have a 28 day cycle? meaning my LP has got much longer all of a sudden?

Im SOOO confused lol, I really need to start temping! I should have ordered a thermometer online ooops.

Thanks!

 

[SleepyOwl]

Treasured - I usually have EWCM for several days before I O (like starting on CD8) and I don't O until CD12-14. By the day I actually O, I am quite dry. Hopefully that helps!

 

[lauren26]

Wow! Sounds like a lot of us are taking a breather from BnB!! I can't totally let it go because it's been such a great source of support for me. But I totally get it. Maybe we all need the summer off!! Lol. Either way, love you ladies .

 

[SleepyOwl]

I can't 100% let go either Lauren - I feel like I'm missing out if I don't check back in periodically!!

 

[lxb]

Treasured - yes, you can definitely get ewcm days before you O. Our body is very tricky sometimes. It not always behave the same way each cycle.

Lauren & sleepy - me too!!

 

[Pino6161]

Just dropped in to say hi. the witch showed up. It usually creeps up on me in the middle of the night, but instead it showed in the middle of the morning. I'm not as upset as I would have thought but more PISSED off more than anything. I think it is cause I am horney . I just finished the 50 Shades of Grey series, and although it wasn't written very well, it was HOT And now the stupid witch had to show.

I am so frustrated there really are no words

 

[lauren26]

Pino - Sorry to hear about AF!! She's a nasty, sneaky one. Someone just told me about the 50 shades of grey book--highly recommended lol.

 

[Pino6161]

LOL they are a bit repetative, but great. They have worked wonders on my sex life LOL. The last 2 days it just turned OH on knowing I was reading it LOL. I do NOT recommend them if OH is not home, or if the witch comes It sucks for me but I talked OH into a shower it's hard to get off your mind!

 

[lxb]

Just wanted to update haribo, sashimi, preg, and treasured -

I wish I was asleep and all this was a nightmare. But it is what it is. I am wide awake and in denial. Now I have plenty of time to be sad. Hopefully not for too long as I need to move on from this mc and start fresh.

Confirmation:
HCG measured at 6200 last Thursday and measured at 6400 yesterday. In a normal and healthy pregnancy, it should at least double. Did an external us, measured at 7w4d(measured at 7w last week). Didn't see what they are looking for and it was a clear pic of an empty sac. To make myself feel a little better, I asked for internal us just so I won't wonder the what-ifs. Part of me still want to believe that maybe..just maybe my body is just a little slow. But all evidents were given and proven otherwise.

As we were discussing my options, i began to tear up. In the end, we've decided to go with medication. Will start tomorrow and it should probably last for around 1-2 days. Blood work on Monday and Wedneday to measure hcg level to make sure it goes to below 5 and ultrasound next Thursday to confirm everything is clear.

Just so happened as I was leaving, my sis and bil entered through the door. She looked at me with all smiles... And I could only burst out in tears.

Thanks ladies for all the supports, it is deeply appreciated.​

 

[lauren26]

lxb I know I wrote on your journal, but I wish I could give you a giant hug IRL!! I hope that you are doing whatever you need to do this weekend to take really good care of yourself. Whatever you decide to do with the meds this weekend, give yourself as much space as you need (even if you have to lock MIL in a pantry for the weekend), and pamper yourself. I'm so sorry, lxb. You're such a wonderful and supportive woman with an amazing attitude. My heart is very heavy for you.

 

[Pino6161]

 

[Pino6161]

So last night was a pretty bad night for me and OH. I got really upset at OH cause it seems like every month he is fine w/ the BFN's and periods coming. He finally sat down with me and told me that of course he is not ok, but he knows upsetting me would make things worse, and he is just trying to protect me. I told him that he has to tell me these things because I feel like he just doesn't care, and it makes me feel extremely alone. He said I never ask in detial what he was thinking etc. I told him straight out that I should not have to ask, and pry deeply. Everytime I do ask he says he is ok, or just shrugs and says time for next month. IDK anyways it just felt good to just sit down and my OH open up, as it is a very rare thing. It made me feel mad though that he feels he needs to be my rock, and protect me from his feelings. I know that I have a very hard time coping each month and he is always there for me just to hold and let it all out, but it makes me feel horrible looking back. IDK. On top of that the cramps and backache are here after leaving me all eysterday, I was hopefull they were gone for good.

I slept until 10:00AM this morning, as me and OH stayed up until 1:00AM talking last night. I feel like crap, and I know he will be exhausted when he gets home from work. Sometimes I wish his boss would give him days off just because I am on my period, but I don't think it works like that.

Sorry I am rambling. I hope you all are doing well, even though none of you seem to be on anymore. LOL JK

LXB-- Hold in there, we all are here for you and feel your pain. I am praying for you and your family.

 

[SashimiMimi]

I haven't been able to get onto BnB for the past couple of days because the website was apparently down. Lxb, I'm so shocked and saddened by your news. I wish you didn't have to go through this and I wish I could find the words to make you feel better. I remember when a friend of mine had a mc at 2 months people kept telling her not to worry, that she would get pregnant again if she just relaxed. She told me how it upset her even more when people gave their two cents. I just want you to know that I'm here for you! You have our love and support and like Lauren said, I hope that you do whatever it is you need to do this weekend to make you feel better.

From what I see it seems like everyone wants to take a break from this board. I hope you all don't break too long. This has been such a fabulous place of support and i value all the friendships we have made. I don't have any other outlet in real life and there is no way I would have been able to get through the roller coaster I've been on since April without you guys!

Lxb I will be thinking about you and sending lots of love and positive thoughts your way xoxoxo

 

[preg_pilot]

Oh lxb... I´m so sorry