Could use a buddy

[preg_pilot]

pino:
I know it´s frustrating, but apparently our OH's don´t think the way we do, and they don´t feel the need to share like we do. It makes it easier for both if we (females) just ask. They answer and we´re happy. They just don´t know any "better". (if it´s possible to call it that).
We´re just so different.
I owe my relationship to a show on youtube teaching me about the differences in female and male brains. (a tale of two brains).

I hope everything works out for you two

 

[treasured]

Ohh lxb I've just come on now! How can something so bad happen to someone so positive and great! This is not something that can disappear with kind words but I hope with your oh and family and of course all of us you will get through it! We are definitely all here for you! Why does ttc have to be so horrible? Try to keep your chin up and me and the gals are happy to accept any rage/venting you wish to throw our way, eh girls hehe lots of love to you and your family right now! Xxx

 

[haribo813]

Lxb my eyes immediately pricked with tears when I read your post. I am so sorry and am thinking of you. Such sad news, I hope you're being well looked after. A big hug for you and lots of positive vibes for the rest of 2012

xxx

 

[lauren26]

Just popped in to vent! I spent the afternoon and evening with the in-laws to celebrate my and my SIL's birthdays....My SIL can ONLY talk about getting pregnant, being a mom, her kids, and other people who are pregnant or who can't get pregnant. And she is so judgmental of others who can't get pregnant or who aren't mothers!!! She acted like a total martyr all night. It's true she's a working mom and it's tough, but I couldn't help but think that she completely has it made--beautiful home, 3 amazing kids, planning on a 4th, and a great job that she can work at from home. I felt totally jealous and ashamed all night about not being pregnant. It was awful. I felt like there was no place in the conversation I could comfortably chime in at any point

I hope you ladies are doing well! Tomorrow I think I'll be in the TWW once again. Not even that excited this time around! I hope everyone's had a great weekend.

 

[preg_pilot]

lauren

 

[countrygirl86]

lxb - You are an amazing woman who has been a great source of encouragement and positive energy for all of us. I'm so sorry you are having to endure this. I hope you can find strength in us

Pino - glad you had a heart-to-heart with OH. They do have a hard time opening up but I found mine got better as time went on and we had more talks. Sorry AF got you (and while you are reading 50 Shades too!). Hoping she leaves you quickly and you can get on to the next cycle.

Sashimi - don't worry, I can't leave you ladies for long!

lauren - sorry to hear about your evening with you SIL! People like that are a sure test of our patience and understanding. It's unfortunate she has an attitude like that but you are smarter and stronger than she is. Hoping this is your last 2ww

 

[SashimiMimi]

Lauren, I wrote this in an email to you but I'll say it here... I honestly believe those women who act like martyrs because they juggle work and kids are secretly overwhelmed and probably feel envious of couples who can sleep in, travel and have time to themselves. I have a feeling this could be the case with your SIL... If she already has 3 kids and is trying for a 4th that's a lot and very few people have 4 kids in this day and age.

I think women who have not struggled with fertility don't understand or have the appreciation that women like us do. For both sides I'm sure it seems like the grass is always greener. SIL sees you and OH going on romantic Louisiana trips just the two of you and I'll bet anything she wishes she could do that. Maybe she secretly feels like a failure as a mom and acts high and mighty to convince herself and others that she is succeeding in all areas of her life.

Just a thought, from my experience people who act like jerks often have some underlying issue for their behavior. It's not an excuse but it might explain the martyr act!!

 

[lxb]

thanks ladies for all the support

lauren - adding on to sashimi's comment. It's true that people who have not struggled with fertility won't understand and can be insensitive. A friend of DH kept telling DH how his little son (who just turned one) pretty much took up all their time and him and his wife just feel exhausted at all time and no free time for each other. Trying to tell DH that the world will turn upside down once you have a kid. I've just visited a friend from SF during our road trip (I am friends with the couple since high school -- met them individually before them got together. They got married in July, went on honeymoon in August and got pregnant. And now their little boy is turning 2 months old). She kept saying that "enjoy your life now!! cuz you won't have one once you have a kid. And how she was depressed. And I was thinking... I know a lot of women who would trade places with you in a heart beat. All I know is.... our lives will be different once we have little ones. It will be hard at times but it is all for the future and it is a great accomplishment. Our kids will be so lucky to have us as their parents & vice versa.

 

[haribo813]

You're so right about the grass is greener. Your life totally changes and most people love it but others feel overwhelmed because your whole lifestyle and perspective shifts and that can have a huge impact on your relationship with your OH. A good reason to keep on trying to make the most of life before a family I guess (easier said than done but I do try). For OH and I this whole difficult process has made us a stronger, more togetherly couple so hopefully that will put us in good stead if we do have a baby.

I'm back from France and what a lovely time we had out there, so much French bread, cheese, wine, afternoon snoozes and dipping in and out of the pool, it was fantastic. And all the better to have friends out there for a few days too-we laughed a lot!

Back to reality though! Mildly down about my return to grey, rainy London skies, a job that isn't challenging me any more and nearly a year's worth of trying but no baby. Ah well, OH is cooking me dinner and I have some fun things after work on this week so am going to focus on the good stuff!

xxx

 

[treasured]

Lauren- Goddddd! what is it with some people just not considering the feelings of others at all... I totally agree with the other ladies about her clearly not being completley content with her own life and to be honest I have been thinking a bit more now about the whole 'child becomes your life' thing. With my SIL having a new baby to add to her collection hehe and now that she has 4, she was telling me that the last time her and her husband went out together was her birthday 5 months ago! Obviously we are all in the same boat of wanting a baby and I could think of nothing more amazing but Im begining to realise that time spent with OH is precious now and i guess this process just isnt one that is meant to be rushed. Lets stop stressing

pino- where you at girl? how are you?

haribo- omg france sounds LOVELY, i love chese and bread and wine and everything hehe! how are you getting on and are you Oing soon?

sash- how are you enjoying your relaxing summer? are you still temping or OPKing or just completley taking a break? hope your doing well!

lxb- still hope your holding out! sorry for my major rant on your journal hehe.

country and preg- how are you both doing? when do we get to see bump(bloaty) pics? !

sleepy- where art thou?

as for me.... according to previous positive OPKS Im due to get one tomorow, but todays was even lighter than yesterdays, could be diluted urine though cause I only held pee for like an hour! I keep thinking that I could have completely missed O but surely not huh? I have BD CD11,12,14 and will today CD15,16,17 and 18. do you think this will be enough? for ONCE i have managed to get OH to commit to constant BDing hehe. Im going to do another opk tonight and untill i get a positive obviosuly...

my question is... is it possible to get a dark equal line AFTER ovualtion? like say id ovulated on CD10 would it be possible to get a positive on day 16?

goshh why is is it so confusing? I dont think I really like OPKS very much tbh. DEFFINATELY going to temp next cycle, make sure your ladies force me hehe.
x

 

[preg_pilot]

I definitely never got it with OPK´s. I never got my positive there, so I just went by ovulation pains to time mine.

Feeling alright atm. Less and less queasy these days. Has genuine MS this morning, the first time I actually woke up feeling queasy. Gone now though.

No bump pictures yet, as there is no bump. Just some fat.
Cycling every day to try to remedy that.

I´m getting my U/S on the 16th, so I will post pictures of my bean then.

 

[SleepyOwl]

I'm back - I missed so much!!!!

Lxb - I posted in your journal, but again I am so sorry you have to go through this. If you need to vent/talk/cry you know we are all here for you.

Lauren - How rude of your SIL! I agree with Sashimi though - she is prob desperately overcompensating. I'm sorry you had to put up with that.

Treasured - I've never gotten a positive OPK after I have O'd - like I will get a positive on CD11 for example, then the line just gets lighter and lighter. I have never had it stay dark or go light, then go dark again. Hopefully that made some sort of sense.

Pino - Hopefully things with OH get better. I think having those heart to hearts definitely help. I went through a similar thing with my OH a few months back and things are a lot better now with TTC.

I'm CD9 today and have been so busy with getting all my paperwork and clearance info ready for this new job. It's exciting, overwhelming and stressful all at once. We finally have a few weeks home now before our family vacation, so just trying to make sure everything gets done. Snuck a BD in this morning and praying I can just squeeze one more in before I O on CD12 or 13. I have been so exhausted and am just not in the mood at all. Poor OH!

On another note, I hung out with 3 very pregnant women today. I hope their pregnancy hormones convince my body to get pregnant :X

 

[lauren26]

Thanks everyone for the insight and support about my SIL!! I think you are all correct, too. She and her husband go on a date once a year, maybe twice. I know she loves her kids but I also think that it's all she feels good about in her life and I feel sorry for her sometimes. AFM, had my call with my doc this morning and I don't want to go into all the details right now since it's almost bed time for me, but doc says it looks like I have stage 4 endo (severe) and gave me some good news and some bad. Overall I felt better after we talked, and felt more concerned about a few other health implications than my fertility, but it seems I must have been living with this since I started having an AF, so a long, long time and I'm still here and still basically OK and healthy! I am going to schedule a lap for August. Not sure if that will help with fertility or not but the doc wants to confirm the diagnosis, rule out way scarier possibilities, etc.

Haribo - Your vacation sounds amazing!! I am envious We went to France for our honeymoon--for 5 weeks! It was incredible but it was also fall so we didn't enjoy sitting out like I'm sure you did. Welcome back

Treasured - OPKs are confusing. I have found that there is a very specific time of day when I'll get a + and if I do another at a different time I'll get a -, even if I got a + that morning. I get my best results around 10 am. GL! The temping will help for sure! So glad your OH is into BDing more regularly

Sleepy - Welcome back!! Is everyone out there back in power and safe? Your job starts kind of soon, doesn't it? Is it in August? Bravo for hanging out with pregnant women! I was just at Whole Foods and I swear to you every woman I looked at was pregnant or had a baby. At least 10 women. Crazy! I feel you on BDing, too--DH and I have been so tired from work that we're both having a hard time finding energy for it.

Pino - As DH's little cousin would say, 'Where you was?'

lxb - I hope you are hanging in there and didn't have too rough of a day today. I'm thinking about you .

country - I loved what you wrote about telling the family on your journal thread!! Have you told anyone else??

Sashimi - Thanks for what you said about my SIL. It's SO easy for everyone, myself definitely included, to feel like the grass is always greener. I guess it applies to me, too, when I look at her life and think she's got it made. And I do think she was being insensitive, but there's no possible way she could ever understand fertility issues, so I'm sure that she didn't fully get what impact her words would have on me. Then again, maybe she was just being a jerk! Lol. When is your chat with your doc scheduled? Are you and OH going to taking the summer off of all TTC convos and clinic visits, or just from procedures etc?

Hope everyone is great--sorry if I missed anyone! It's getting late...

 

[SleepyOwl]

Lauren - Wow, that is a lot of news to process. You seem like you are handling it fairly well - I suppose it's good that you know now and can formulate some sort of plan and move on from this point. Hopefully these next steps, including the lap, will get you more answers and can help you truly move towards that BFP finally. Regardless, it is a lot to take in. You know we are here to talk if you need us.

 

[Pino6161]

Ok, So I am feeling a bit better about everything after having some 1 on 1 time w/ OH. Just barely spotting today, so I finally got to have the I desperately needed . I haven’t been on here very much just due to self pity. I decided to cancel going to my Grandparents to see my siblings cause the drive is horribly long, my car is not reliable, and the fact I was just not comfortable. They haven’t quite gotten over the fact that I married a Mexican. So I will be cleaning tomorrow. Mentally I am feeling a bit better, I just think that the fact that we are moving in 8 months, and we need a new car is really stressing me out. The financial side is very stressful. So SIL is still at my MIL’s and my nephew is driving me bonkers, but I still love him

Lxb--- I shed quite a few tears for you (scared the crap out of OH) I hope you a feeling ok, and you are able to avoid the pain pills. Just don’t try to be to strong Mi Amor

Lauren--- Your SIL sounds EXACTLY like my cousin, except she is on number 5. I know how hard it is, it’s almost like she is accusing you of being a bad mom, without being a mom. My SIL is a bit like that, but learned quickly to keep her opinions to herself. I know how hard it is, just try to keep your chin up! I agree w/ Sash’s post on this as well. We all will appreciate our children 100 times more than someone, like her, or my brother that get what they want over-night…. Sorry about you Dr’s apt. I am glad you feel better about the situation though

Haribo—Glad you had a great time in France! I am soooo jealous! Reality sucks but at least your OH knows how to cook

Treasured--- I think your BD sounds great!! I told OH today (while I was super horney) that we were ging to BD everyday (maybe multiple times a day ) until we get a sticky bean. He laughed at me and said, he’s scared I am going to break him I don’t know about getting a positive that late after O though, I guess we will have to wait and see

Preg_Pilot--- Happy to see that you MS is almost gone!! Hopefully it stays away. I can’t wait to see your pics!!

SleepyOwl—Good job at staying busy! Even if it is boring busy. Where are you going? For family vacation?

 

[SashimiMimi]

Hey everyone! Thought I would write a quick post for work to check in with all you lovely ladies! I'm meeting with my doctor next Thursday (July 19) to talk about the lap surgery and steps to follow after that. I just feel like I need to know every possible scenario before committing to something like that. Yesterday would have been my scheduled lap day and I woke up feeling very happy with my decision to wait.

I am not really using OPKs, but I imagine I will O sometime this week. I'm not really having my usual symptoms, so I'm wondering if I'm going to even O at all. Yesterday I had super thick EWCM... Knowing that it's already not swimmer friendly, I feel like it is going to be a fortress with this consistency. OH and I BDed really late last night after his hockey game. Huge mistake! I couldn't get to sleep. I got out of bed at 3:30 in the morning and made valerian root tea which probably got me to sleep by 4. I'm a zombie today.

Yesterday, I felt like I was stuck in a pregnant lady zombie apocalypse. I saw over 20 PG ladies I'm sure... First it was walking down my street to the subway. I was beside a PG woman on the sidewalk so I ran really quickly to get ahead of her. Then where ever I moved on the subway, I would run into a pg lady, then another and another and another. I felt like screaming my head off and running. It's like okay Universe, I get it!

I'm happy with my decision to take a break from the fertility clinic as well. I'll see what my doctor says next week and maybe we will go for a 4th IUI in August, or I'll just hold off until after the surgery.

Lauren, I wrote to you last night but you are so brave and have such a good attitude toward getting such big load of news. You are truly an inspiration to me. Hope you were able to have a good night's sleep and are ready to move forward with the solutions that your doctor has suggested. You inspire me to trust in this whole process even when it is easy to start imagining the worst-case scenarios. I hope you have a minute to pop in and let us know how you are doing today.

Lxb, how are you feeling? I found your journal and saw your post about the pharmacy mix up. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Hugs!

Preg, please be careful with cycling. My fertility doctor has mentioned to me that one of the worst things pregnant women can do in terms if exercise is spin classes or cycling. I don't mean to sound like one of those know-it-alls that come on these boards, but thought I would mention it just in case!

Pino glad you are feeling better!

Country how are you!?

Sleepy - How did you end up hanging around with 3 pregnant women?? You inspire me to stop running from PG ladies and try and use their energy to rub off on me for good luck!

Haribo - I can totally relate to those post-vacation blues! We have been back from Hawaii 2 weeks and it has been so hard to get back to reality. I'm glad you had a great time with OH!

Hi treasured!!!

Sorry if I am missing anyone. Back to work for me!

 

[lxb]

Hi ladies~ I'm sorry that I brought such blue-energy to this thread lately. Thank you all very much for all the love and support.

I'm back to work after a full day of sleeping in yesterday (DH called in sick too!).

Emotionally... DH & I are still deflated of course but the energy is picking up. As a word of DH's... We are stronger than this. This is not the worst thing that could've happened to us. The most important thing is that we have each other.

Physically... bad cramps on Tuesday night since I started the pills (finished all 6 pills by wed ~10am). Been sleeping in fetal position throughout the night but seems like the cramp is easing up a little bit. I was expecting AF to be full force... but I only see clogs when I pee (not sure if that's normal).

That's enough sadness for the past few days! No more energy should be spent feeling sad or sorry for something we don't have any control over.

 

[lauren26]

lxb, you are an inspiration!! I'm glad you are feeling better, and jut know that you can take all the time you need to adjust .

On my iPhone because I'm at work getting my QuickBooks worked on remotely--a real barrel of monkeys!! Lol. Anyway, Sashimi thank you for what you said it means so much to me. I will check in again when I have better access to a keyboard and computer.

 

[treasured]

Sooo...... just as I thought I was getting used to the idea of non stressy, relaxed TTC I get hit by another truck full of bad news. My other best friend, (the one which I went to england with, who was drinking and smokes constantly, who is single and gets with every guy) just found out that she is around 4 months pregnant! she doesnt even know who the father is I cant beleive its happening again. Shes going to have her own little baby before I can even get pregnant and its SO UNFAIR!!! I cant even comprehend.

Sash I totally understand what you mean about pregnant ladies, and its so much worse when its one of your stupid friends! I would be thrilled for my friends if they were in a stable situation but I cant deal with them gettting MY dream.

jealous rant over..

 

[Pino6161]

Treasured--- I'm so sorry. The feeling I don't think will ever go away. One of my best friends tried for almost 3 years before she got her BFP, and to this day she will complain about how easy other people have it compared to others, and she has her bundle of joy. Life is not fair!

Lauren--- Have fun with your quick books

Sash--- I know the feeling. I never really noticed pregnant woman or babies before I started TTC and now it seems like they are EVERYWHERE.

lxb--- Glad you are feeling a bit better. The clots are def. normal, I'm surprised you are only getting little ones. It's partially a good thing though cause it lessens the physical pain.

I am in a really good mood this morning. Sore but good So during my pity party I was eating like a cow. Surprisingly I didn't gain anything, and I am the same weight, but it is time to start the diet again hardcore