Could use a buddy

[countrygirl86]

lxb - I love that you are a sticky bean to this thread! To the crazy lady thread! A close friend had a mc in July 2011 and got pregnant Jan 2012, with twins! There are stories that go both ways, taking a short amount of time and a long time but we are all here for you no matter how long it takes! You should do the boxing for wii and 'accidentally' do a spin kick at MIL lol oops is that mean?

lauren - the lap sounds really interesting, I didn't know they went in through the belly button. I tried to do zumba by myself, in my house, alone, and felt like a complete idiot and couldn't do it lol but I had no problem doing it in a class! Doesn't make sense. What are the black pills for?

Sleepy - yay for the timely BD and positive OPK! No point in stressing over it, it only takes one

Well ladies I can't believe it's here already but I start my holidays after work today! 9 days of camping, beach, relaxing! I'll try to pop on with my phone but just know that I'll be thinking of you.

 

[lauren26]

Lauren, that is definitely encouraging! So nice to link up with women that are able to talk with you about their experiences and their children. You are so positive and have such a wonderful attitude - i know it will take a lot more than this diagnosis to keep you from your BFP. Lots Of positive prayers and thoughts your way girl!!

You are so sweet. Thank you

 

[lauren26]

To the crazy lady thread!!

preg - Thank you!

country - LOL at accidental spin kick to MIL. I LOLed at the thought of you doing zumba alone, though I don't really know what zumba looks like!! The pills are just Chinese herbs the acupuncturist has me on. I don't know why I was so afraid of the herbs before! Anyway, how are you? How is your nausea? YAYYYY for holidays! Do you get a set period of time off every year, or did you take it off? Did you tell your boss? Sorry for all the questions! Lol. Beach and relaxing sounds AMAZING.

 

[lxb]

sleepy - I was like that too! Ah.. so naive at thinking it will happen the moment we start trying! Here's me 1+ yr ago...

"Okay, I want a 2012 baby! Which means I can should start trying in April 2011. But wait, our delayed honeymoon is in October and I don't want to get pregnant while I'm on my honeymoon~ So we'll start in October. Average time for a couple to conceive is ~6 months. So we're good to go!"

country - Ah yes. spinning kick sounds like a good plan! I also tried zumba alone~~ Looking at the mirror.. i look nothing like the instructor! But just try to have fun and move along with the music! After all.. exercising is all about moving your body~ DH & I are thinking of a 'beach-trip'.. not sure when yet but looking forward to it~~

 

[SleepyOwl]

Lxb - I am laughing so hard at Country's " accidental Wii spinning kick to MIL" comment. Too bad I'm in full agreement. Make it happen lxb!!!! You want to hear how naive I was about a baby - I thought I would start trying in December 2011 and have a baby by my 30th bday (Sept 2012). How incredibly misinformed was I?!!

Lauren - I'm obviously very close to O'ing because your thank you comment made me tear up. So overly sensitive for zero reason at all lol!!

Haribo, Sashimi - I miss you ladies!! How are you both doing?

AFM - I hope I get pregnant this month!!!! Stating the incredibly obvious I know, but OH has heard it so many times I have to get it out of my system before yapping his ear off tonight. I am sort of scared that the couple we are going out with is going to tell us they are preggers. Drinking a glass of wine to prepare myself, lol!

 

[lauren26]

Sleepy - Aww!! Way to O Still jealous of that CM....

Afm, getting a little nervous about the time off and $$ required to do this lap/hysteroscopy/tube check thing. The more I think about it, the more it sounded like the doc told me they are doing 3 separate procedures. I have an individual insurance plan so the deductible is really high...OH feels it's time to do all this and we can pay the bill back over time, but I hate having stuff like that looming!! A big part of me feels like it's the right time to do the lap while another part feels like it could wait. Just tired of dealing with all of this! And a little envious that some women get pg for almost free still--only buying one test!

 

[haribo813]

Hi Sleepy, I'm good thanks! How was the dinner? Any pregnancy announcement?

I am having a quiet weekend at home which I haven't done for months! OH away on a stag all weekend and I'm going on the hen tonight for drinks and dinner out with a group of girls, should be fun.

I'm actually really enjoying my time at home, last night I went out for dinner locally with my mum and sister, I did a DVD workout this morning (have to shift the baguette shaped souvenir on my tummy somehow) and have spent a few hours poring over the weekend papers with innumerable cups of tea. Why don't I do this more often?! I also forgot how much I really like our home-i've taken months to pull together some nice antique and vintage things (my dream job) and i hardly spend any time here-this must change!

Laughed a lot about the MIL wii comment, just brilliant. In fact, Country I love how you don't come on here very often but always seem to post something to the point and amusing to boot! (Hope you're enjoying your holidays btw). And Lxb, you are a strong, brilliant lady, with endless enthusiasm which is just what we all need.

Lauren I hope you're doing ok. I know it must be really hard to know what to do-as with so many ttc issues, I'm not sure there are right or wrong answers so you're doing an excellent job of making sure you're informed and then trusting your instincts. I'm sure the decision you make will be right for you at this moment in time.

Sashimi, how are you my dear? Hope all is well with you.

Treasured, sorry you're feeling upset about your friends' pregnancies. I totally understand how you're feeling and have been guilty of it with 1 of my friends. But my sister said something to me which made me see things a bit differently, when someone else gets pregnant you just have to think, well I want my OH's baby, not someone else's, which is what your friend's having. (Even though in this instance she's not even sure who the dad is, whoops). This whole process has totally underlined for me how life isn't fair and i need to get better at dealing with that. Because life is also long and it has its ups and downs, even if none of us feel like being challenged to the extent we are now. So i carry on trying to fight my bitter and angry feelings (to varying degrees of success!) and that's all you can do.

Pino, hope the BD plan is going well! I recently read an article about a couple who set themselves the challenge of BDing every day for 100 days (and they weren't even trying for a baby)-it was really interesting!

I'm almost half way through my 2ww but this month we haven't BD'ed nearly as much (a bit of me kind of gave up this month); mostly because am now feel like i'm waiting for my fertility appt on 13 August. Hoping that I won't feel quite so responsible for our issues as it will be someone else's hands for a bit. Probably naive but it is working for me for now.

Have brilliant weekends lovely ladies xxxx

 

[lauren26]

Just tried to do something and it posted my post twice....

 

[lauren26]

Well, it looks like I might be getting AF 7 days early!!! I think that being on progesterone the last two months (I opted out this month because it made me gain weight super fast) may have messed my cycle up! I am 6dpo and got some rust-colored, watery blood (sorry!) when I checked my cervix this AM. I have spotted for several days before AF in the past, but nothing like this unless it's the day before or day of AF. Grrrrrrrr......Hopefully it's a false alarm. I would hate to have a 5 day LP! Oh well at least I don't have cramps!

Haribo - Thank you!! And I'm so glad that you are spending some relaxing time at home! I am a total homebody--I love lounging around on the weekend

Hope everyone else is having a great weekend!!

 

[treasured]

Haribo, thank you soo much for your sweet comment and I do totally agree about our long lives and who we plan to spend them with! She will not have the amazing little family we will have when our baby's come along keep on keeping strong gal!

Lauren, that sooooo could be implantation bleeding couldn't it? If you've never seen it before? Fx for you, no way af is coming that soon! Proud of the way you ate handling your results!

How's the other ladies? Xx

 

[lauren26]

treasured - I guess it COULD be, but with my track record I am just not getting my hopes up! Lol. Honestly, I never like seeing AF but I did expect a weird cycle after progesterone. It might totally be a fluke, though. Isn't IB usually a bit lighter? Or brown/black blood? Anyway. I guess only time will tell! How are you??

 

[SleepyOwl]

Haribo - No pregnancy announcement last night! Thank goodness - it was actually a really nice night out and we stayed out late just talking and laughing. OH's team at work is amazing and it's always fun to hang out with them and their wives.

Lauren - I hope it's IB also! I have no idea what it looks like though - I think I've seen comments on this site both ways as to it being darker and old blood and some people getting more red spotting. So who knows. If it's not IB though, I do hope your body resets itself after the progesterone so you can get back to more normal/predictable cycles.

Thinking I definitely O'd yesterday as my temp was up today and I'm super bloated and gassy. This is what I hate about O'ing. I feel like I have a deflating balloon in my belly!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Hi Ladies!! Sorry I've been a bit quiet, I usually check BnB on my phone while I'm at work and it's impossible to write a long post from there. So this Thursday I have my appointment with my fertility doctor. I feel so disconnected from the chaos of those fertility appointments, I'm not sure what to ask anymore. I guess I just want to find out every possible scenario of what they could find and how long it will take to recover. In the meantime, I'm seeing my family doctor on Monday for my physical. I think I will mention everything that has been going on and I'd like her opinion.

I went to a couple work functions this week and I got really hammered at one of them (by accident!) and stayed out until an ungodly hour. I never behave that way, and I threw up on Friday morning and went to work hungover. I was SO mad at myself! I'm a light weight and what's more is that I usually like to be in control of myself, so I rarely have more than 1 or 2 drinks. In a way, it was kind of nice to hang out with my 25-year-old co-workers who are all single and not thinking about TTC. It may have been the only night in a long time where I didn't think about TTC. But needless to say I am having a very quiet weekend!

Lxb - how are you feeling? That is really annoying that you had to run into PG women at your blood test. I joined a meditation group this past week... There were a couple nutjobs in the group, including a crazy homeless bum who kept shouting out that he had been reincarnated and that's why he was there... Anyway, the group really focuses on not letting external things be the reason you are sad, angry or even happy but finding peaceful emotions within you. I definitely feel negative emotions when I think about TTC, when I see PG zombie apocolypse women everywhere and I am trying to be more mindful that I have the power to control my emotions on this. I have noticed myself becoming really bitter and I'm going to put an end to it now! And Lxb, your positive attitude is such an inspiration.

Sleepy - I never got a chance to congratulate you on your new job! That is really exciting. I think I also Oed within the last couple of days. I had an old Clearblue OPK kicking around, so I did it at 8pm the other night and I got the happy face. I just haven't really felt any real O symptoms so it feels like a weak O! I really won't get my hopes up for me, but I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Haribo - I love staying at home and just enjoying our place. I feel like when I'm constantly busy during the week with work, and my evenings getting eaten up with work events, gym or socializing, I just need a day to stay in and do nothing! I'm excited for your fertility appointment on Aug 13. When I started seeing my doctor it gave me a lot of hope and I finally felt in control of this whole situation. Even though I'm in limbo and kind of put my progress at a stand still, I know I'll find the right solution what ever that may be.

Country- hope you are enjoying camping. I wonder if you are also having the heatwave that Toronto has! I'm not complaining about the hot weather, because you know when winter rolls around and its freezing and getting dark at 4 pm we will be wishing for hot summer weather. I hope you are feeling good! I am not sure if you posted this yet, or maybe you did in your journal, but have you told your family about your news?

Lauren - I wrote this to you in an email, but I also had the weird rusty bleeding for 1.5 days the month after stopping progesterone. It was while we were in Hawaii, about 5 days after I Oed and I was like either I am getting AF, then stupidly thought it was IB and then I realized that progesterone irritates your cervix and can cause bleeding, so I would say it is old blood from the progesterone making its way out. I dont think you have to worry about AF showing up.

Treasured - Its so hard when people around you snap their fingers and get a BFP. I personally feel I have avoided several social situations this summer because I don't want to be around other married couples who could annouce their BFPs or who have newborns!! I'm really trying to get past this because I'm probably missing out on some good times. I think it's why I've been so quick to hang aorund my younger co-workers who aren't TTC crazy like me. You know you always have us to vent to when you get upset!

Pino - How are you doing? Hope you aren't feeling so stressed with thinking about your move and everything else that is going on. Big hugs!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend! We went to visit my parents tonight and took them out for dinner. There were a few big families having dinner around us and it reminded me of how when we were in Hawaii I kept seeing huge families on vacation together, posing on the beach in bad matching outfits for family portraits. At first it reminded me of that hilarious website awkwardfamilyphotos.com, but then it made me wonder if that would ever be me? Will I ever have a big family and be able to pose for a family portrait in bad matching outfits? It's funny the little things that get to me like this that make me wish for my own family.

My brother asked me today if I was planning on moving back to the suburb in which we grew up in. I said why the hell would I move to the 'burbs when we don't have any kids with none on the horizon. He said that I could be closer to his kids if we moved back. Sure, that would be nice to be closer to my niece and nephew, but I don't want to be the weird Aunt that is around all the time heckling their niece and nephew! I have a few friends who have crazy Aunts that constantly write on their Facebook profiles and Like every single thing they post. What if I turn into that Aunt!?

Anyway, I'm just rambling now. Speak to all of you ladies soon! xoxoxo

 

[SleepyOwl]

Sashimi - I'm totally already that aunt!!! Granted my niece is 4, but whenever she posts something about my niece, I am all over it!! Glad you were able to let loose a bit this week (not so great that you weren't feeling well after); we all need those nights once in a while and it really is nice to think about TTC all the time. At this fertility appt, you'll be discussing the lap surgery right? I hope you get all the answers you need so that you can be totally comfortable with your decision!!

 

[Pino6161]

So I have been kinda avoiding BnB as I have been a bit overwhelmed lately.

So nothing really to update. I have been spending a lot of time with my niece and nephew, hence a lot of time with the in-laws.

I have been having really weird dreams lately and it has out me in a weird mood. I feel scared, and worried about all the little things. I know it is really starting to worry my husband. I can't really explain it all and it scares him, but I can't even explain it to myself.

The move is still going to happen, but I am scared we are not going to be able to afford it. . We have issues with spending. IDK.

My mood has been up and down, but my libido is alive and well. It is all very clashing.

I will update on everyone else later when I am back to my normal self.

 

[lauren26]

Pino - I'm sorry you're feeling this way!! Transitions are very overwhelming, especially when you feel like there's not a proper foundation in place. You and OH seem to communicate a lot and well--as long as you both keep being open about everything that's coming up around the move, I'm sure you'll be able to make a good plan that you can both trust in. It's hard being around in-laws all the time, too. Be sweet to yourself! I always have horrid dreams when I stay with my in-laws over Christmas, and I leave feeling like I've picked up on everyone else's energy all week to the point where I have a hard time finding solid ground within myself a little bit. It's fun, but also stressful, and group dynamics can be challenging. Take good care of yourself and take advantage of that libido

 

[treasured]

Heyy gals!

Need some quick advice.... My friend that has just found out shes like 4 months pregnant has told me that the girl that was going to go with her to her scan has canceld so she wants me to go. I dont actually think I could cope with that but dont really have an excuse ! I want to be a supportive friend and Im sure if she knew I was TTC she wouldnt ask me but because she doesnt I dont really have a reason not to... What do I do? Im just not even ready for that AT ALL!

Thanks! xx

 

[SashimiMimi]

Sleepy - I am pretty much that aunt as well. I'm obsessed with pics and news about my niece and nephew. Niece will be 4 in October, but she is already so grown up and articulate and says the most hilariously witty things. I love to Skype or FaceTime with her as they live a good 1.5 hour drive from me and it's tough to see them on a regular basis.

Pino - sorry to hear you are feeling down. Hugs!!

Treasured - are you comfortable with being honest with your friend? Tell her the truth and say you will be there for her but aren't in a place where you feel you can go to the scan and be the support she needs??

I feel like every time I go on Facebook there is someone else who is PG or just had a baby. I've been deleting people right left and center because I just don't want to see it. Now I went on and there is this girl I knew who was single up until last summer and just got married and is now very PG. I can't believe I've been married for 3 years and we don't have kids. Like mostly everyone here I never dreamed I would be one of those women who struggled. I remember seeing my fertility doctor for the first time this pet march and he said the lap and IVF would be the last steps and I immediately thought we would never get to that point and here we are at the lap stage...

My SIL offered to be a surrogate which brought me to tears as its the kindest thing anyone has ever offered. I never imagined I would ever get to the point of taking her up on something so huge, but as we near the end of our options I wonder if we would ever go that route. OH said to me the other day that he is amazed people can just BD and have a baby and that's it.

 

[SashimiMimi]

Treasured - the more I think about it the more I feel like we need to put ourselves first and protect our emotions. I know we can't all go through life avoiding people with BFPs and babies, but if you feel the scan will be too much then don't put yourself through that. Your friend is looking for support and you may not be able to offer what she needs at this point.

Mind you I tried to avoid seeing friends who just had a baby and always ask me if I have news. I got into a huge argument with OH over it, caved and ended up going and it was fine. They were actually really supportive and seeing the baby did not upset me as I thought it would.

So go with your gut treasured and do what is going to make YOU feel best. You don't owe anything to anyone.

 

[treasured]

Thank you Sashimi I dont think I am ready to tell her about my TTC... I guess because most of my friends are young, unprepared and still enjoying their youth (ie, partying all the time) I mean I enjoy it too obviously as anyone does but I dont think many of them can relate to me wanting a baby.

I think I will have to find an excuse to get out of it, im trying to come to terms with her walking around with a new baby but dont think I could hold her hand and comfort her in a scan when I know it should be me instead!!!

It really does suck that you have had to get to the lap stage I know that is to determine what problems are happening inside but have the docstors given you any sort of idea what is going wrong? you mentioned a while back about your CM just not allowing OH sperm in? or am I confusing things? That is amazing of your SIL to offer that and nice that it is such a close person rather than an unknown surrogate! I dont know if I could deal with it though, having another woman experience the bond that is made during pregnancy think I would rather adoption if it came to it as it would be just like the stork dropped them off to me haha!

Hopefully it wont come to this though, still keeping my hopes up for us xx