Countdown to Canada

[deafgal01]

I hope that this passes quickly - it does sound stressful not to be able to have your own "space" for your family and feel like you're imposing on FIL.

On the other hand, I hope your FIL takes in this special opportunity to have with your kids (to get to know them and actually interact with them more on their level) instead of being a grouch.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I hope things get easier too. I can imagine it must take a lot of adjusting to

 

[Rags]

'This too will pass' its something I've heard myself say so very often over the past few years, and it does, and it changes again and you look back and can't believe you went through it.
You've had such an incredible few months in the run up to your move, and you are, very obviously, a highly organised, capable, strong and independent matriarch to your family, exactly the person who will help steer a course through this next part of your journey. Hopefully a bit of wintry weather soon will raise the children's spirits and give you all an excuse to have time away from the house and a bit of space from each other. As your FIL health improves I hope he will manage to enjoy a bit more bustle in the house, and as restrictions begin to ease (please) and your are all able to expand your social interaction things will become more tolerable until you can locate your new and exciting homestead. Take good care of yourself and your family and I wish you an amazing and smooth passage through this year, I'll look forward to hearing how it all goes. Xx

 

[NDH]

Unfortunately, the reason we came in such a hurry in the first place is due to the fact that FIL has terminal cancer, so there is no getting better. He's not on his death bed or anything, but he's definitely not well either. I'm definitely trying to keep that at the forefront of my thoughts every time his starts making judgemental and passive aggressive comments to keep me from getting so irritated. Also focusing on the fact that staying here is pretty much the only chance we have at buying a farm this spring, as we couldnt save enough of the deposit we still need if we have to pay 2500 a month in rent and utilities. It still may not happen, but it wont happen without $6000 more for sure.

 

[kittiecat]

I’m sorry things are so stressful staying at your in laws

 

[Bevziibubble]

That must be a really difficult situation

 

[Rags]

I'm sorry, I do now remember reading about your fil when you first started the thread. I certainly doesn't make it any easier. Can I ask, is his attitude a new thing, maybe to do with an anger and resentment over his diagnosis, or have he always been a gnarly old b#@@$r?
Hang on in there to your dream, a wonderful bit of land for you and your family and good friends to farm together, it will be even sweeter when you get it

 

[NDH]

DH thinks pain and age have probably lessened his filter lol. I dont remember him ever being this crotchety past times we've stayed with them. Usually he just goes off on long tangent rants about random things but is generally very laid back/easy going. Certainly I dont recall him ever making passive aggressive comments

 

[Bevziibubble]

That must be difficult

 

[Rags]

Does he or your mil have any additional palliative care support, even if it's not needed physically is there access to psychological palliative services? I can't help but wonder if there is an element of fear and possibly anger clogging his filter...

 

[NDH]

Argh we are stuck in a frustrating loop!

We need to apply for BC services card in order to get our health care application completed.
What do we need to get a services card? A list of ID we cant get without sufficient ID, none of which we can get without proof of residence, which we cant without any bill in our name. DH can cause of his bank account, but I cant get added to the bank account without Canadian ID. Like a BC services card, or a driver's license (though that's only for primary ID, I also need secondary ID, like a health care card, which i canr get without a BC services card) what do i need to get a BC services card? A bank card or credit card. I cant get a credit card as i have no credit rating in my name, and i cant build credit until I get a bank account.
Ok a BC drivers license would be sufficient ID, but we have to book an appointment, and the online appointment portal doesnt list the local location as a place where we can apply to transfer a foreign driver's license. Neat. So we need to go to the Island or Vancouver, and we dont yet have a vehicle to be able to take all the kids with us. DH is calling the local office to find out if we can do it there even though online doesnt give us an option.

 

[Rags]

Oh no, that's like a perpetual loop of hideousness!! I hope you are able to sort out the driving licence bit at least, that allows you a level of freedom anyway. Is there the possibility of a larger family car in the foreseeable future?

 

[Huggles]

Urgh, I hate those kinds of impossible loops.
Really hope you're able to get it sorted soon.

 

[NDH]

we have a lead on a van locally for only $1000 (it’s 30 years old but has less than 90,000km on it. Single elderly driver who has only driven it twice a week to church and the grocery store. But we need to hear back from the owner (only heard through a friend of the owners family who is selling into on her behalf) and arrange to get a mechanic to look at it. Everything else in our budget we would have to travel to look at.

We have 90 days to switch our licenses over , so we can legally drive without them at least, but I do need ID so sooner than later Ian better lol.

 

[Rags]

Waw, that would be a real bargain! I very much hope it works out for you. If you at least have transport that fits all of you then you have an option of escaping for periods, things might begin to feel a bit more normal if you are less dependent on others. Very best of luck to you with the whole id debacle, I know they try to be careful in case of illegal immigration but there is such a thing as taking it too far.

 

[Bevziibubble]

How frustrating, I hope it gets sorted soon.
Good luck with the van!

 

[deafgal01]

Wow, I never even considered all of that being a barrier to getting some proper cards/id.

I hope it all works out soon for you.

 

[Huggles]

I see I never commented on this.
I really.hope you're able to get the car. It would make a huge difference to you having that little bit more freedom and independence.

 

[kittiecat]

Sounds a very frustrating loop! Hope it all gets sorted. And hope you’re able to get the car.

 

[Rags]

Hello NDH, I was thinking about you earlier today. I hope things are going better for you all? Did you get out of that identification loop you were stuck in? Are you driving now? Did you get a car?