Dealing with azoospermia?

[Shellvz]

Discovered this morning that I am much more emotional than I thought.

Church Christmas items today and i cried through every kids item (starting with the baby & toddler group).

I couldn't stop the tears from flowing and just wanted to put my head down and howl.

Probably didn't help that today is the 17th anniversary of my mothers death.

Emotional day!

Tomorrow our appt with FS...

 

[Shellvz]

Dr advised our only option is IVF. He has ruled out falling pregnant naturally or insemination and we have ruled out donor sperm.

He gave us the IVF sales pitch - as expected but there are so many variables: expense, hormone injections, tests & surgical procedures for both of us. Plus the ethical dilemmas of embryo's.

Sigh!

 

[deafgal01]

Oh shell take the time to process this. I understand about feeling emotional.

 

[BettiS]

Hey Shell

I know EXACTLY how you feel, as do most of the women on this thread. It takes time to accept the situation. We heard just about 3 months ago that ICSI would be our ONLY chance (if any) at a biological child and although, some days, I feel like I've gotten through the worst, I still have days when I just can't help crying like a baby because we have been dealt this FOUL hand of cards in life.

DH still believes with all his heart that God will give us a baby naturally. I admire his faith but I find it difficult to have any myself. This diagnosis has really put a wedge between me and God...only now, some days, I feel like I'm inching back towards Him.

 

[silverbell]

Thanks so much for sharing the video, BettiS. Really touched by this song and the pictures. You're right - it is totally how many of us are feeling

CM - great to see you back. I can't believe that your clinic insist on ICSI with donor sperm??? WTF is that all about? I'm so sorry you're back to square one ... but pleased that you have a plan all the same. Hopefully it won't be long now until you get that and however it comes it will all have been worth it

Shell, I'm sorry about your news. Take time to process it all.

 

[CanadianMaple]

Shell, take the time to process it. It's such a difficult journey. We thought we were finally on an easier path once we chose a donor and were hoping to get away with donor IUI. Now we're on to IVF with ICSI whether we use a donor or not. So unfair. The funny thing is, we have had all this time to process our options and we'll do whatever we need to. I just want to do our attempt and then get off this rollercoaster either way.

Silverbell- I was thinking they were crazy, but the more I read, the more common it's becoming. Their theory is that the sperm has been frozen and may not do as good of a job. Since we'll be paying close to $12,000, I have accepted it. I'll do whatever they need to do to make this work.

Betti- I have a very Catholic MIL. She keeps sending DH bible verses and keeps talking about the virgin Mary and how she just knows we are going to get pregnant naturally. She was very accepting of us using a donor, but then will throw in that which makes us think that she hasn't really accepted it as much as she thinks she has. DH had to get blunt with her and tell her that if we conceived naturally, it would be a miracle, but we are not going to sit around and wait for one. She has seemed a bit better, but doesn't understand why we would "waste all this money" on fertility treatments.

AFM- I just had 13 vials of blood taken today toward my IVF cycle. I go back on Friday for my cd7 tests, then again on Dec 27th. I can't wait until they have my mock transfer scheduled and I can start the pill. I want to get this show on the road!

 

[silverbell]

Silverbell- I was thinking they were crazy, but the more I read, the more common it's becoming. Their theory is that the sperm has been frozen and may not do as good of a job. Since we'll be paying close to $12,000, I have accepted it. I'll do whatever they need to do to make this work.

See, I don't get that. Because with IVF they'll only put in fertilised embryos. Meaning the sperm has already done its job! Very confusing. But like you say you'll just do whatever you need to to get the show on the road and I don't blame you.

 

[Chickensoup85]

Shell, we've just been told IVF with icsi is our only option (provided they find something during the sperm retrieval) but that is the news I was expecting so don't feel I know anything new.

Come away from my gyno appointment so angry, irrationally probably. They were running so behind I had to wait over an hour. Once we were in all I got was, I'm going to refer you for an ultra sound to check for fibroids or polyps.

Could they not have told me that over letter? About 6 weeks ago when the appointment was booked? Thats another month and a half down the drain. To top it off, because it was such a long wait, I was too late to call back the sperm retrieval people and get that sorted! Grrrr! Sorry for the moan

 

[Shellvz]

Hi Ladies,

Thank you so much for your kind words, encouragement and support. I have decided to take a break from all things ttc while we pray and decide our future.

I need to stop for my own sanity. Checking on this thread has been helpful but is becoming more painful as we face our future - potentially childless.

I wish everyone all the best and hope that you all receive the child of your hearts.

God bless,

Shell

 

[CanadianMaple]

Shell, I've taken two breaks. It was the best thing I had done during this past year. You will come back stronger. I found it difficult to be always thinking about azoo and trying to support others when I was barely even keeping it together myself. Please know that this group is always here to support you, even if it's just a quick check-in.

 

[CanadianMaple]

Silverbell- I was thinking they were crazy, but the more I read, the more common it's becoming. Their theory is that the sperm has been frozen and may not do as good of a job. Since we'll be paying close to $12,000, I have accepted it. I'll do whatever they need to do to make this work.

See, I don't get that. Because with IVF they'll only put in fertilised embryos. Meaning the sperm has already done its job! Very confusing. But like you say you'll just do whatever you need to to get the show on the road and I don't blame you.

They are more worried that the frozen sperm will not fertilize enough of them and want to make sure that every egg gets its chance. I guess it's not as uncommon as I thought, I posted a question about it on another IVF site and more than half of them did ICSI with DS. I was totally floored but definitely don't want to see an IVF cycle with a crappy fertilization report.

Deb- If you're still checking in, can you change my info on the front page. You can say that I have been dx with PCOS and we are moving on the IVF/ICSI with DH getting TESA. We'll have a donor backup. IVF/ICSI/TESA in Feb 2013.

 

[Stinas]

Hi ladies!!
Thought I would give an update since DH went to the urologist today.
He has been on clomid once a week for a month now. Doc says he really thinks having the original procedure he suggested to us is the way to go. He is pretty confident that the cyst is causing the blockage, especially since he did find some sperm during the TESE. He wants to go in from the tip and scrape basically a "tunnel" for the sperm to go under the cyst and out. He says we would be able to see sperm in a week. DH will continue taking the clomid to improve the sperm and help make more.
When this was first brought up to us we were more scared than anything. The risks are leakage from the penis as well as anus....but its a very very small percentage. It freaked us out so we opted out of it. The doc told DH he has done a ton of them with out complications.
I think at this point its more logical for us to try it. We pay for IVF out of pocket, so its worth trying this surgery since its actually covered and has a good chance of making us have a baby the old fashioned way.
Im scared, excited, and nervous. I dont want to get my hopes up, because this year has been hell....i am hoping this could be our clean slate, a new fresh year.
Has anyone done this kind of surgery? I forget the name.....I didnt go to the doc with DH.

 

[silverbell]

They are more worried that the frozen sperm will not fertilize enough of them and want to make sure that every egg gets its chance. I guess it's not as uncommon as I thought, I posted a question about it on another IVF site and more than half of them did ICSI with DS. I was totally floored but definitely don't want to see an IVF cycle with a crappy fertilization report.

Oh I get you. Yeah we had a crappy fertilisation report But I think to be honest it was just my eggs, as the doc seemed surprised.

Hi ladies!!
Thought I would give an update since DH went to the urologist today.
He has been on clomid once a week for a month now. Doc says he really thinks having the original procedure he suggested to us is the way to go. He is pretty confident that the cyst is causing the blockage, especially since he did find some sperm during the TESE. He wants to go in from the tip and scrape basically a "tunnel" for the sperm to go under the cyst and out. He says we would be able to see sperm in a week. DH will continue taking the clomid to improve the sperm and help make more.
When this was first brought up to us we were more scared than anything. The risks are leakage from the penis as well as anus....but its a very very small percentage. It freaked us out so we opted out of it. The doc told DH he has done a ton of them with out complications.
I think at this point its more logical for us to try it. We pay for IVF out of pocket, so its worth trying this surgery since its actually covered and has a good chance of making us have a baby the old fashioned way.
Im scared, excited, and nervous. I dont want to get my hopes up, because this year has been hell....i am hoping this could be our clean slate, a new fresh year.
Has anyone done this kind of surgery? I forget the name.....I didnt go to the doc with DH.

Wow, Stinas, that sounds really promising. I know what you mean about not wanting to get your hopes up. I hope somebody else knows about this procedure and can talk about it with you.

 

[Chickensoup85]

He says we would be able to see sperm in a week. DH will continue taking the clomid to improve the sperm and help make more.

Wow that is so positive! You must be so excited! (as well as all the other emotions that come with this of course!)

How are people feeling at the mo? With Xmas and new year coming up? I'll be glad to see the back of 2012 to be honest. Hoping 2013 will be the year for everyone on here!

 

[snd80]

He says we would be able to see sperm in a week. DH will continue taking the clomid to improve the sperm and help make more.

Wow that is so positive! You must be so excited! (as well as all the other emotions that come with this of course!)

How are people feeling at the mo? With Xmas and new year coming up? I'll be glad to see the back of 2012 to be honest. Hoping 2013 will be the year for everyone on here!

Girl! Me and you both!!!!!! This time last year I was chomping at the bit for 2011 to be over, and here I am again the same way for 2012!!!!! These past 2 years of this azoo sh*t is getting to me!!!! I'm SOOO freaking over it!!!!

SB- Wish you would already!!!!!! Jeez, I need some REAL re-assurance that IVF is the answer and that all this waiting will be worth it!!!!!!

Stinas- Sounds excellent! You deserve to get a little excited! Hell, I would!!!!! =)

 

[Chickensoup85]

Ok, 2012 is officially worse. Called up a private clinc today to find out how much a sperm retrieval would be... £5000! Wtf?? That's criminal! Now our carefully laid plan is out the f'ing window. I honestly didn't think it would be so much. With icsi on top, it's just not do-able. We are too young to qualify on the nhs so more waiting

 

[wanna_bump]

Hi everyone, hope you dont mind me gatecrashing. I have pcos which is being managed by metformin and today my husband was told he had a zero sperm count. We are both in bits and finding it hard to cope with at the moment. We have an appt at the clinic in jan where we plan on discussing using donor sperm. I thought id be ok with the idea but unsure now. Do the male vitamins work or is it a waste of mondy? Any advice would be most welcome x

 

[Chickensoup85]

Wanna_bump, sorry that you have had this awful diagnosis. Did the doctor not talk over your options? There are 2 types of azoospermia; obstructive (a blockage) or non obstructive. My husband had blood tests to check chromosomes and an MRI to see what was happening. Your options depend on the type I think but they can do a surgical sperm retrieval to check for any sperm in storage. If they found something you could then do IVF with icsi.

I think what I have said is kind of correct but I am new to this diagnosis and am mainly picking things up from here and google. Please correct me if I have made a mistake!

 

[deafgal01]

That is correct. Two types but the procedures seem to differ from place to place depending on where you live. My hubby only had sa done three or four times plus an exploratory surgery to retrieve tissue samples and see if it was blockage issue. He also had blood tests to check his levels of testerones.

As for holidays, I am ready to see 2013 roll around, haven't given the holidays much thought past few days as I had school finals to focus on plus working a lot. Just realize it is soon approaching the one year anniversary when I found out of my husband's azoo dx. Not sure how I feel about that anniversary.

 

[wanna_bump]

Thanks for your replies, we plan on talking through treatment/options at our next appt as he aas given the result over the phone.