Dealing with azoospermia?

[raelynn]

Good luck silverbell! Hope ER goes well for you!

 

[MoBaby]

My beta today: 379!!!!!!! 16dpo..... YAY!!! We made an azo baby

 

[raelynn]

Mobaby - So so very happy for you!!! Congrats!!

 

[WannabemomRN]

Hey everyone,

So I haven't been in this forum for awhile because after we found zero sperm in my DH's biopsy I pretty much decided that donor sperm was going to be the way we go- so onto the donor sperm forum I went.

Although, especially lately, I definitely don't belong there either. It's not that I don't want to go that route, it's that we haven't even completely accepted our fate and can't make that leap. I'm not sure how long it's going to take to get there...and that scares me.

At Thanksgiving dinner, for some reason my DH's mom had old photos of my husband and his sister growing up. I almost DIED. I cannot bear to look at them, because more than anything in this life I want to raise a little boy that has at least some traits of that of my husband.

I am feeling particularly discouraged because as I have been searching for donors I am realizing that there aren't many matches at all to my husband's ancestry. He looks really Italian, but is also Portuguese and German. I am lucky to find at least one of the three.

I feel like I am dwelling in my sorrows, and can't shake it! I am SO sorry if I am making it worse for anyone else, but I figured that if anyone was going to make me feel better- it'd be you ladies. I would be grateful for any advice, or even a story about how you got through this whole thing. How did your husband's deal? How did you make that transition from "I can't have a baby" to "let's buy sperm and just make a damn baby already!"

Thanks, and lots of love.
~c

I am in the same spot that you are. My DH is prepared and suggested the donor. I thought that was what I wanted, but the more I think about it I'm having my doubts. I want to have my husband's baby, not just any baby. I don't know how to overcome that. It's so hard to give up and go to plan B on something so many people can do just by mistake. Today has been the roughest day I've had for a little while. Just can't take it. Facebook just pisses me off, people complaining about their kids. Well at least they have them!! I'm just so frustrated, bitter, and deeply saddened by this . How did you girls decide on DS? Congrats to Mobaby and the others popping up with +++++

 

[silverbell]

Congrats, Mo

Wannabe - I answered that question on the last page (but you have probably already seen my response). It's an incredibly difficult decision and not one that can ever be made lightly. Good luck to you both.


AFM I had my scan today and ER is going to be Friday. It looks like I have 7 follies of the same size that are ready to go at the moment (I have low AMH so was to be expected). ET likely to be Monday. Just praying they're all good quality eggs.

 

[BrandyRelax]

Hey everyone,

So I haven't been in this forum for awhile because after we found zero sperm in my DH's biopsy I pretty much decided that donor sperm was going to be the way we go- so onto the donor sperm forum I went.

Although, especially lately, I definitely don't belong there either. It's not that I don't want to go that route, it's that we haven't even completely accepted our fate and can't make that leap. I'm not sure how long it's going to take to get there...and that scares me.

At Thanksgiving dinner, for some reason my DH's mom had old photos of my husband and his sister growing up. I almost DIED. I cannot bear to look at them, because more than anything in this life I want to raise a little boy that has at least some traits of that of my husband.

I am feeling particularly discouraged because as I have been searching for donors I am realizing that there aren't many matches at all to my husband's ancestry. He looks really Italian, but is also Portuguese and German. I am lucky to find at least one of the three.

I feel like I am dwelling in my sorrows, and can't shake it! I am SO sorry if I am making it worse for anyone else, but I figured that if anyone was going to make me feel better- it'd be you ladies. I would be grateful for any advice, or even a story about how you got through this whole thing. How did your husband's deal? How did you make that transition from "I can't have a baby" to "let's buy sperm and just make a damn baby already!"

Thanks, and lots of love.
~c

I am in the same spot that you are. My DH is prepared and suggested the donor. I thought that was what I wanted, but the more I think about it I'm having my doubts. I want to have my husband's baby, not just any baby. I don't know how to overcome that. It's so hard to give up and go to plan B on something so many people can do just by mistake. Today has been the roughest day I've had for a little while. Just can't take it. Facebook just pisses me off, people complaining about their kids. Well at least they have them!! I'm just so frustrated, bitter, and deeply saddened by this . How did you girls decide on DS? Congrats to Mobaby and the others popping up with +++++

I don't have an answer, but I agree, it's a very hard question. The question I keep asking, is do I want to be a mom or do I just want to be a mom to DH's kids? I got "Helping the Stork" out from my local library and have started reading it. Some have said it helps, I'm still in the early stages of the book, so really can't say. We're still waiting for the mTESE, currently scheduled for March 5, 2013, but given high LH (16) and high FSH (39), I'm feeling that we're not going to find any sperm, so I need to start preparing myself and knowing what my next steps are, so that I'm not crushed when I get the results. This thread has been invaluable to helping me see options and perspectives I wouldn't have seen without you all!

Brandy

 

[snd80]

Congrats to Mo and any others I haven't congratulated on their !!!!

Sorry I have been AWOL, but limbo land just plain sucks!!!! I don't quite know where I fit in at the moment... but know that I have been cheering you all along quietly from the sidelines! The holiday's aren't helping either; another childless time of the year for me. I'm just ready for this year to be over already, just like last year!

As for the girls asking on deciding on DS, for me, it was never a problem. It took a minute for my hubby to get on board, but in the end we both know it will be HIS baby, blood or not, and that is all that matters!!!!

to each of you and I will try to be a better cheerleader from now on!

 

[Stinas]

Silverbell - good luck friday!

 

[SunUp]

Hugs CBergs and SND!!! Glad to see you on here.

 

[deafgal01]

So glad to pop in here and see some pregnant azo ladies!!! You all give us hope one way or another regardless of where the sperms come from (whether it be donor or your hubby's).

Wish I could listen to the podcasts. I checked and no captions so not sure how much I'd understand. I don't know where to find the transcript for the podcasts either.

I have been hiding in my little corner and being withdrawn. Like one lady already said, the upcoming holidays are harder to deal with when one is in this boat and stuck in limbo. My finances have not been progressing as i planned for it to be, still trying to reach the 1/5 goal of money saved for iui and I should have about 2/5 saved by now but nope, got behind. No idea if that will push iui back a bit or not. We will see next year. Then again if both dh and I work extra jobs, we might reach the goal and not need to push iui back. Guess I will reassess where we are with that when the time comes. I still need to select some donors and do my blood screening anyways before we can do iui.

Donors- cbergs I still have days where I'm not sure but think I'm still getting used to the idea. Look at it this way- half adoption? Baby has your genes and will adopt hubby's personality. Think in the end after everything, a baby still becomes your baby one way or another regardless of whose genes made the baby.

 

[silverbell]

Donors- cbergs I still have days where I'm not sure but think I'm still getting used to the idea. Look at it this way- half adoption? Baby has your genes and will adopt hubby's personality. Think in the end after everything, a baby still becomes your baby one way or another regardless of whose genes made the baby.

Definitely agree with this, particularly the last sentence

So sorry you're feeling down and SND too I hope the rest of the year whizzes by for you both and you're soon back on the TTC wagon. I know how tough it is to get this far and then be back to WTT again and knowing you can't possibly get pregnant in the meantime.

 

[MoBaby]

Gl tomorrow silver bell!!!!

 

[SunUp]

Cbergs -
I try not to overload BFP stuff in here, since I KNOW how difficult this journey really is. I totally understand where you are coming from, and with DS there are always days where one, of course, wishes things were different. But, DH is as excited as humanly possible for this baby. He will be an amazing father, and we are thankful to an anonymous person who helped us along our journey. But seeing OUR baby moving and kicking around the screen, knowing he (or she) will know my voice and DH's voice by birth, all the prepping my DH is doing for this baby, those are things only a true father gets to do. I am so happy to be making him a Daddy. It might not be as ideal as wonderful fairy tale's suggest, but its OUR miracle, none-the-less. Our happily ever after. I will say it was hard on us to decide but totally worth it, now. I will keep praying for you. Just know that even if DS isn't right for you, there are options out there (embryo adoption, adoption, fostering) and we are all here for you no matter what. For me, DS was the best of all the options (including not being parents) because we knew we wanted children, and this way DH and I could make all the parenting decisions, from day one, ourselves. Still praying for you as I know this journey is a difficult one!

SND - So sorry, I know limbo land is NO fun!

DG - Hoping the savings come along so you can be a mommy-to-be by this time next year (fingers crossed!)

SB- SO excited for you and praying this is your time!!!

 

[Chickensoup85]

Hello,

We had our 2nd urology appointment today. They found a blockage (a cyst) but also said there is a problem with production so both obstructive and non obstructive. Has anyone ever heard of this? Urologist thought the cyst could be causing the NOA somehow. He also said there was a 50-60% chance of finding anything with a sperm retrieval. I came away thrilled because it could have been so much worse but DH is really upset because he has blocked it out so much he never really believed we would need IVF.

Having said all this, I didn't really trust the urologist as he had an air of "used car salesman" about him! DH felt the same and wants a second opinion. Unfortunately the chromosone analysis results had not come in.

I hope everyone is ok.

 

[Chickensoup85]

Being under the approved age for fertility treatment in Berkshire, we have decided to go for private fertility treatment for the sperm retrieval and Ivf but have a couple of questions.

Can you use 2 different clinics? One for the retrieval and one for the IVF? The urologist we are seeing seems to specialise in azoospermia and retrieval so would like to use him for that part but wouldn't want to use his clinic for the next part.

Also, how do you go about finding a good clinic? How local would you go with travel time etc? How frequently do you have to go?

Should you take time off work for it all?

Sorry for all the questions, just feel a bit lost and don't really know what to do or where we go from here!

Thanks

 

[Deb111]

Im sure its possible to use 2 clinics - i guess the main issue is getting the sperm from one to the other. There may be extra costs involved?

As for closeness of clinic - i wouldnt go too far but then reputation is more important. You can look at clinic info online - i will find link for you. In terms of scans - youre probably looking at between 3 and 5 plus egg collection plus transfer so it all adds up

 

[Deb111]

Website is guide.hfea.gov.uk/

 

[cbergs]

You ladies are the best, thanks for all the great advice! It has been a bit easier the past week or so. Our counselor is amazing, and totally helps us look on the bright side of things. We're relaxing through the holidays, then we'll start the DS process early next year.

I am cheering you all on, and am SO happy to see all the +++ on here!

Happy Holidays everyone!

C

 

[Stinas]

Chickensoup85 - Hi!! Our DH's can be twins! They found a cyst in my DH's prostate, which our urologist thought was causing the blockage. All DH's blood work came out normal as well as everything else they normally test for in this case...I forgot all the exact testing he has done, but everything was normal. When we did the TESE thats when the urologist found a couple sperm and figured it was a production issue. He wanted him to go on clomid right away and do another TESE, but we decided to use whatever sperm was found during the first TESE. First round of IVF was a BFN, we got one and continued with a FET which also resulted in BFN. Doc thinks its due to the sperm, which is not surprising.
DH is now on clomid once a week for a month, this week is his last pill then next week he has a check up to see whats next.

 

[Chickensoup85]

Thanks for the info Deb111. I'll have a look into that.

Stinas, it's great to hear from someone with similar issues! When will you find out if the clomid is effective? Have they removed the cyst? Good luck for the check up! Are they hoping for better quality sperm for another round of IVF, or to kick start for possible natural conception? Sorry of that's a stupid question!

How do you cope with people getting pregnant around you? Just found out a second person at work is pregnant and they a due within a couple if weeks of each other. It's not too bad at the mo because they haven't announced it, but I'm dreading all the baby talk and "you'll be next's" when they do.