Dealing with azoospermia?

[Rainbow123]

Good to hear from you MrsG30, it has been a while (I've mostly been lurking too)
Glad that things seem to be moving along with you

Rainbow - I hear you on the frustration. You know, I've been thinking - there is so many books on "dealing with infertility", whereas what I really need is a book on "dealing with fertility clinics/doctors/staff".

That made me laugh out loud AuCa! Perhaps the ladies on here could collaboratively write one, we all have enough experience of this to write a book on it!

 

[deafgal01]

Yeah totally can! Mine would be the first fertility clinic dr we visited made a joke about oh it is all his fault (meaning dh). Needless to say we never went back to that one and found a new clinic that we liked better.

 

[AuCa]

Yeah totally can! Mine would be the first fertility clinic dr we visited made a joke about oh it is all his fault (meaning dh). Needless to say we never went back to that one and found a new clinic that we liked better.

That is so inappropriate
I remember that our doc told me at the first appointment something like "well, you won't have any biological children (without IVF) unless you find yourself an affair".

Unfortunately we don't have a lot of choices re clinics here, but we are now in the process of getting consults from 2 clinics in other provinces. I can't deal with our current place anymore, even if it means we need to travel....

 

[MrsG30]

MY GOD, i think i would have punched him, some people ave clearly no idea what this does to people.

Yeah totally can! Mine would be the first fertility clinic dr we visited made a joke about oh it is all his fault (meaning dh). Needless to say we never went back to that one and found a new clinic that we liked better.

Good to hear from you MrsG30, it has been a while (I've mostly been lurking too)
Glad that things seem to be moving along with you

Rainbow - I hear you on the frustration. You know, I've been thinking - there is so many books on "dealing with infertility", whereas what I really need is a book on "dealing with fertility clinics/doctors/staff".

That made me laugh out loud AuCa! Perhaps the ladies on here could collaboratively write one, we all have enough experience of this to write a book on it!

Emma- i know how you feel its just a long winded process, but WE WILL get there.

Auca- nice to here from you, how are you flower? xxxx

 

[MrsG30]

its national infertility week here in the UK.
So heres to us girls, UK and all over, i hope you all succeed at your dreams xxxx

 

[arzoo]

Rainbow: What was the final outcome, hope the nurse managed to clear the confusion.

Gosh how can people think that they can joke about the situation we are in.! Thank you Mrs G I dint realise there was something called national infertility week in the UK.

Lister has received my referral letter and have booked an appointment for the week of the 11th. We are seeing Mr Nicopollous. What should I expect from the first appointment? I am worried that I will have to go through the whole process of convincing him that we want to go ahead knowing the risks that are involved.

 

[Rainbow123]

Still no phone call Arzoo! I'm going to give them until end of tomorrow and if we still haven't heard from them I will be ringing on Thursday. Such a joke! What is your appointment for with Mr Nicopollous?
XXX

 

[sharon99]

We had our first meeting with an infertility doctor today. I was hoping she'd say something really insensitive so I could contribute to the forthcoming book! The only insensitive thing she said was- after my husband said he's in school for architecture- "I hear the job market for architects here is REALLY TERRIBLE!" This after we'd talked about the mountain of costs coming our way (at our $400 meeting). I can't believe some of the comments you other ladies got- it is not the time or place for jokes! AND it's not the time or place for confusion- Rainbow, your experience made me so mad! I especially like that they're "winding down for Christmas"-- it's October!!

Since I'm on day 2 of my cycle, they drew blood for my day 3 tests. Next I have to do an STD panel, and they require counseling- then I guess we're good to go. Except for the fact that, apparently, I cannot say the words "donor sperm" to anyone (besides DH) without crying! I was ugly crying/sobbing in front of the doctor at one point and once I get going, I am like a runaway train! It was just a little embarrassing. I think I will be OK with donor sperm, but I'm still at the point where talking about it (to other people) makes me lose it. Maybe talking about it makes it sink in that this is real? Have any of you gone to in-person fertility support groups? I know in the US we have RESOLVE, and I wonder if that would help. Knowing my record, I'd just cry through the entire meeting, but whatever.

 

[deafgal01]

Sharon- I used to feel that way but I have come a long way since so I am more comfy with the idea now though it is still something I do not openly discuss with just anyone.

 

[arzoo]

That is so frustrating , Sorry Rainbow. We had a tough time following up and pushing our GP to make our referral.

Rainbow: We are starting our synchronised cycle with the mTese. As I mentioned earlier we are told our only option is to go private, so after our last appointment with Mr Ramsay , he sent a letter of referral to Lister for us to see Mr Nicopollous and this will be our first appointment. I booked the appointment on Monday and last evening when we went home the forms were already at home. These are the consent forms and details about the costs etc. Besides the costs being scary, holding the forms and reading them made it more real for me and as I sat down to read I could not help but feel a lot of self pity and sorrow for our state. But as they say onwards and upwards .

Sharon, it is absolutely fine to cry. Atleast that is what I say to myself. We got to know about my DH azoo in May , thats 5 months back but there are very few days in the last 5 months when I have not cried thinking about it. Some are strong and can hold back tears where as others like me are not. I cried reading the forms last night.

For the people in the UK, I just got to know about the fertility show that is happening this weekend at Kensington Olympia. There are some interesting seminars etc, if anyone is interested the details are https://www.fertilityshow.co.uk/

 

[Rainbow123]

I cry all the time Sharon, at what probably seems like nothing to most people. Recently my mother said to be (regarding our infertility), "Well I suppose that's just life". Quickly got off the phone and was then in tethers for a good couple of hours. I know she wasn't intentionally insensitive but I kept thinking "No, it's not just fecking life that we are in this situation!!!", this kind of shiz did not happen to her so I don't know how she could say that. A lot of the time I can have a really good day then some tiny thing will set me off, like going to Tesco last Saturday. DH didn't know where the baby wipes were (we needed some for looking after my niece) so without thinking I went and got them. Dumb Tesco had the biggest sign saying 'BABY WIPES', but were they there? NO! Looked for ages whilst trying to ignore all the baby stuff. A new mum and dad came down the aisle with their baby and I had to leave Tesco with no baby wipes! Doh! Nearly cracked up in Tesco but managed to save it for the car! So, DS is definitely A LOT to get your head around. It is ok to be feeling this way Sharon, I think the more you acknowledge your feelings the easier it becomes. I ignored how I felt about it for a long time and it got me nowhere! We've managed to come quite a way with how we feel about it, but it's still hard to comprehend. I'm not sure that I will ever feel comfortable talking about it to anyone other than DH, but hopefully I will.

Sounds like you're definitely on your way then Arzoo! Hope you're feeling a bit better about it today. I'm sure that once you've had your appointment with Dr Nicopollous (that's a mouthful isn't it!?) that you'll start feeling more excited. I look forward to hearing how you get on!

XXXXX

 

[arzoo]

Thank u rainbow. I plan to read the forms in detail tonight. Any luck with the call back ?

Question: Has anyone 's dh been asked to take proxeed?

 

[Mikihob]

I also cry A LOT. DH and I are in the process of doing a 401K withdrawal to cover his HCG/FSH injections and have it ready for IVF. We want to do one withdrawal and not five. I called the company and wanted basic information about what pre-bill forms they will take. They refused to give me help. They told me that basically I am just trying to get his information. I didnt' tell them that I could log into his 401K account right that second and tell them the balance available. SIGH. I had him log into my old account and look at the plan since it's the same as his and he commented that its empty. DUH. I want to know what forms I need. He said he couldn't tell me anything. So I hung up on the guy and then broke down and cried for hours. I find myself crying a little bit every day OR holding it for a few days and then letting it out. It doesn't always help me feel better but it's good to get it out. Sometimes I cry so hard I think that I will never stop. I try to do it when DH isn't around, because then he feels bad for "it being his fault." SIGH.

 

[Stinas]

With this diagnoses crying a lot is the norm. Just remember it will happen eventually...it just may not be as easy or the path you thought you were going to go on, but it will happen. You cant lose hope.

 

[Mikihob]

Ladies is it bad that I don't want to hand out Halloween candy? I just want to shut all the lights off and watch a quiet movie. I am afraid that I will break down and cry when I see all the kids and babies in their cute costumes. Is that wrong?

 

[AuCa]

Mikihob- it's not wrong. I don't want to do it either, DH has to do it. It's hard.

About the crying - I bought one of these musical toys today. It's a dog dressed up as a pumpkin and it sings a Halloween song and moves around its ears. Every time I look at it I start crying. And I have no idea why.

 

[sharon99]

Thank you all so much for sharing your crying stories- they really made me feel so much better.

Miki, I hear you about the trick-or-treaters. I say turn off the lights & eat the candy yourself! I'm feeling thankful I teach on Thursday nights so I'll miss it- I would be doing the same thing if I were home.

 

[Rainbow123]

That's what I'd like to do too Mikihob! There are so many children on our estate, you can't look anywhere without seeing a child or a baby. I can just about handle Halloween, however at Christmas a sleigh with Father Christmas comes round the houses and I know that THAT is going to be the killer! I hope you manage to get through trick or treating unscathed, Mikihob. Sending you mountains of XXXXXXX

 

[tulip11]

Hi we got an appointment letter with gynaecologist in December after done all the tests with urologist just left with genetic test we are waiting for its appointment letter anyhow what most likely gynaecologist ill do means what would be their further steps those who are far ahead of me in this phase might know waiting for their reply. Thanks and all the best to all the gorgeous ladies out there.

 

[Rainbow123]

Hi we got an appointment letter with gynaecologist in December after done all the tests with urologist just left with genetic test we are waiting for its appointment letter anyhow what most likely gynaecologist ill do means what would be their further steps those who are far ahead of me in this phase might know waiting for their reply. Thanks and all the best to all the gorgeous ladies out there.

That's great that you have your gynaecologist appointment through Tulip! I had all my tests done before we had genetic testing etc for my husband, so kind of the opposite way round to you! They like to arrange for you to have tests, so you probably won't have to have much done in your actual appointment (I did have to have a vaginal swab done to test for something or other, but can't remember what that was as it was so long ago now!). The tests I had to arrange to have done were a day 3 blood test, some blood tests to check for a couple of other things, an HSG (where they check your tubes are working by pushing dye into your cervix) and an ultrasound of my uterus. Hope this helps! XXX