Dealing with azoospermia?

[spark_28]

Arzoo- It is so nice to talk with and know others who are facing the same situations. It really is a source of comfort. We are in the US and although we were told we should have a back-up DS, we were not told that was a requirement. I cannot even imagine your DH suggesting that! Especially at the phase you are in now. I mean, it's an emotional roller coaster with already too much to think about. I have wondered what we would do with my eggs if no sperm is found with the mTESE but we have not discussed it because it seems like that is at the bottom of the importance list at this time. Our Dr's MA keeps suggesting DS like it is no big deal whatsoever. Just another day, you know? Irritating.

Sharon- Hello and welcome. Thank you for sharing your experience. I don't think it is an easy decision at all to decide on DS and then if you decide you are going to use it, it must be even more difficult to decide what DS to use. It definitely adds a new dimension to a relationship, so many emotions to work through.

 

[sharon99]

Thanks for the warm welcome, everyone. I already feel better knowing I have a place to turn to & vent if I need it.

Arzoo, I agree with everyone else's comments. Donating your eggs seems like waaaaaaaay too much to ask at this point in time. Don't they require/strongly recommend surrogates to have had their own children before becoming a surrogate, because otherwise the loss would be too great? It seems like the same logic applies here- if you're struggling and don't have your own kids yet, it would be so hard to see "your" baby all the time at family functions.

 

[Rainbow123]

WARNING: COMPLETE AND UTTER RANT TO FOLLOW...
Feeling PRETTY frustrated and even more out of control with this f-ing situation. We're in the Isle of Man so have to go through our FS but all the mTESE and ICSI side of things will have to happen in England. We'd just got my DH's letter through to say he's on the waiting list for mTESE after our appointment in Sept so I tried to ring my FS yesterday (to explain the progress we're making with the UK side of things and possible mTESE before the end of the year). She's unfortunately now on long term leave until beginning of Jan. So DH rang the hospital in UK and was put through to the IVF area. They rang back today and they lady basically said that everything we've been told, from the start, by the FS and the urologist who's referred DS for mTESE, is wrong. She said they don't DO fresh/synchronised cycles. Apparently they can't give us an idea of when DH's op would be, but it would likely be next year now and that after performing the op they would freeze what they find and then start to think about preparing me for IVF. She also said that it is also not in their policy for the patients to buy donor sperm that would be used as a back up on an NHS cycle - WTF?! Completely confused and don't know who to talk to as we've got no proper phone number for someone who knows what they're talking about. What's most annoying is that the nurse had DH's file with the appointment notes and the letter we were sent that stated we WOULD be doing a synchronised cycle with DS back up, and she still said they didn't do it!!! I'm hoping she's just f-ed up big time and misunderstood the situation, as the consultant who does the mTESE has only just started at the hospital and as yet has not done any operations (at this particular hospital). So after being told that we would hopefully have the mTESE with synchronised ICSI before the end of the year, I don't know what they heck is going on now. She also told DS that they are starting to 'wind down' for Christmas, so it would be very unlikely that even if his mTESE was before Christmas, they couldn't do anything more until at least the new year. ARE YOU F-ING HAVING A LAUGH!!???
She's going to ring back tomorrow after she's found out about the funding business to do with DS, and whether we will be allowed to use DS that we have bought from a sperm bank.
Am I going completely mad? She said that it would not be possible to synchronise my side of things (egg retrieval) with DH's mTESE, but it's quite common practise to do that isn't it?
Feel like my sanity is slipping away from me at the moment.

 

[deafgal01]

Wow that is a mess Rainbow! I don't know what to say but sounds like that lady is new and not aware that they do offer these services now! Still kind of rude for her to say things of the sort on the phone!

 

[gem10]

Arzoo, I am in shock that your husband would even consider asking you that knowing what you're going through. I'm pretty sure that you cant even donate or be a surrogate unless you had children of your own. I know for me I can barely see my friends pregnant with their own kids let alone being pregnant with my eggs! I think you need to focus on yourself and let your sister in law figure out a way to get donor eggs from someplace else. Rainbow I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I can tell you that in my last IVF cycle we did a synchronized egg retrieval mTESE. So it is definitely possible. I know its horrible when you have to wait because you want everything done right away and it's so frustrating when things get put on hold. We actually decided to wait until January figuring Christmas is a stressful time and the last thing you want is to be stressed during your IVF. I figured January's a long boring month so what better months to get my eggs retrieved! So if that helps maybe you can look at it like that, but I know when you were thinking you're getting it done before the new year not much is going to make you feel better. I really hope it's just a mistake on that woman's part and that they truly can do it on the dates you had planned. This process is stressful enough without having people mess up information! Sending hugs your way!

 

[bubumaci]

Oh Rainbow - I am sorry that you are now facing additional stress! Who needs it, huh?
It seems that synchronised mTESE is possible - see Gem ... perhaps they don't do it there because of DS? I think most places wouldn't start you on protocol, unless they are certain that they will have something to fertilise with? I know it would have been the case with us - they made sure that they got some from DH which they froze before doing a stimming cycle with me. Out of the four ICSIs, 3 were with fresh sperm (they were able to pick out enough to do the ICSI - and one they had to thaw one of the straws we had frozen in Spring last year). It makes sense to me to not insist on fresh - the whole process does take a toll on your body - imagine getting to ER and not having anything to fertilise with
I do hope it all gets sorted out soon!! xxx

 

[Rainbow123]

Thank you so much ladies. I really do appreciate your support and advice so much! You know what Gem - you HAVE made me feel better by putting it like that, thank you! It hadn't even dawned on me that January would be the most sensible time to do it, with Christmas being so hectic and January being pretty boring, but I think I just got it in my head that it was going to be before the end of the year. It was like a little switch was pressed in my brain and I suddenly went "Oh yeah!" I hope it is January now!
Does your DH have obstructive or non-obstructive bubumaci? It worries me that they won't find anything but then I'm doubly worried that if they do find some and freeze it it won't survive the thaw. :-S
The nurse was supposed to phone us back again today but she did not which is a bit naughty. I think if someone tells you they are going to call it's not very good not to, especially when we both rushed home to be here in time for the phone call! Grr!
DH and I both have this next week off so looking forward to some quality time together
Hope you all have a lovely weekend and thank you again for your advice ladies!
XXXXXXXXX

 

[bubumaci]

Rainbow, glad to see that you are seeing the positive side of it now I so know that feeling of being set on something in your mind and "needing" to stick to it - but sometimes it is better to wait a little bit
DH is non-obstructive. We have absolutely no idea as to why or where it comes from. Everything seems to be perfect, except for the fact that there are barely any swimmers and if they find some, then they are in some way defective

 

[Hopeful 1]

Hi ladies sorry I have been MIA for a while now and the thread has been so busy so just been trying to catch up with everything I have missed! Sorry to read so many of you are having a hard time of it.

Gem so sorry for your result I was really hoping it would be positive for you! What are your plans now?

Arzoo - wow what a big ask I was shocked to read you had been asked I totally agree with the others you need to concentrate on creating your own wonderful family before helping others. Doners are wonderful and thoughtful people however are likely not to be facing fertility issues when they are donating I would imagine they have completed their own family and want to help others have the experiences they themselves have been able to have. I'm sure if you already had your own baby you would have felt differently. I'm sure in time your sil and DH will be able to understand this.

Rainbow - sorry there seems to have been a mix up with your clinic it's frustrating when they dont communicate with one another and your left not knowing what's the plan! I will explain at the end of this post what's the plans are for us and that might help you.

Deafgal - I'm so sorry for your bfn like I said to gem was really hoping for you it would be your time it's such a hard journey and you put so much into cycles that it's just devastating when it doesn't work! Glad to see you have your next appointment planned and are getting ready to try again.

Welcome alliejc77, Ophelia, spark, Sharon

Milki - I hope the meds are working their magic for you and your DH and the next couple of months passes quickly for you! Just think with Christmas round the corner I'm hoping the next few passes quickly!

Stinas - I hope you are keeping well.

Sorry to everyone else I have missed out but thinking of you all!!

AFM - have started the nasal spray for DR for the mock FET (although only eggs not embryos) then app in two weeks for a scan, then tablets for two weeks to see how I respond then all being well start again for the real deal!! They are hoping that they will find some sperm in DH's sample and if not he will be back in the next day for a ssr. Really hoping that they find some sperm even if he has to do the ssr, the clinic. We're unable to find any at all in September not sure how we will feel if it's a no go again!!
If I don't respond how they expect I think I will have to start a fresh with dr them stimms. I don't mind really anything as long as it works. I felt fine the last time and think I was really lucky as didn't suffer hardly anything from the meds so hoping it will be the same this time! I think this would be a synced cycle am I right ladies?

Wow what a long post and sorry again if I have missed anyone out will definitely try to keep up better!!

Hopeful xx

 

[deafgal01]

Hopeful- good luck to you!

 

[Hopeful 1]

Thanks Deafgal, have been feeling ok so far so good!! How are you feeling about starting again? Will it be a fresh cycle for you or a FET?

Hopeful x

 

[deafgal01]

No idea, Hopeful. I have an appointment to discuss and reassess our IUI plan with the dr next week on Halloween. I wanted to get his opinion and insight on whether we need more aggressive approach by adding in meds and monitoring me or if he thinks I will take on a natural cycle since I do ovulate on my own. I was concerned about the numbers and motility- so many (from my known donor) didn't survive the freeze and thaw process.

 

[tulip11]

Hi we got appointment letter with gynaecologist in December after done all the tests with urologist just left with genetic test we are waiting for its appointment letter anyhow what most likely gynaecologist ill do means what would be their further steps those who are far ahead of me in this phase might know waiting for their reply. Thanks and all the best to all the gorgeous ladies out there.

 

[arzoo]

Rainbow: I just thought of sharing my experience on synchronised cycle and NHS.

We are in the UK and I am told that they will not do synchronised cycle with mTese. What our doctor told us is that if we wanted to go for synchrnonised cycle with the mTese , our only option was to go private. and it would cost about £11k. Also we are told that fresh sperm (if found!) are better than the thawed ones, as they are not sure how many will survive especially given that DH has azoo. So we have chosen to go private.(Sigh!)
About timing, I completely agree with Gem, we have also taken the decision to only continue with the next steps post christmas as these things takes time to organise (even in private) and so it was best done after the holiday season.

Sorry if my post contradicts what others have said. I am going back to see my doctor next week, I will reconfirm .

 

[arzoo]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I finally managed to speak to DH on this topic again and as some of you mentioned made sure that I expressed to him why I was hurt and why it was not the right time to discuss these options at the moment. Also said that I am not ready now and not to wait around because perhaps I will never be irrepective of the outcome of our procedure.

Spark completely agree with you, I dont know why the people at the IVF and Fertility centre seems to bring up the option about donor as though it is just another option.

Question: The doctor has asked DH to start taking proxeed and stop taking the wellman ones till his procedure. Is anyone else taking proxeed?

He also asked DH to have aloads of green vegetables like spinach , brocoli and also berries. Any other recommendations?

 

[Rainbow123]

Thanks for the info, Arzoo.
It sounds like that might be the case then with the NHS then, drat!
I'm just confused as to why we would be told by the urologist and the doctor doing the mTESE that it would be ok to do the synchronised cycle when they knew we were doing this on the NHS. I'm hoping that because we are funded by the Isle of Man that there might be a chance there are slightly different rules for us. Only time will tell. Probably a flipping long time considering the pace of things so far!
XXX

 

[arzoo]

Dont loose hope Rainbow, as you said the rules for Isle of Man funded procedure could be different, as at the end of the day different rules and cut off apply based on the availability of funding and the demand for the procedure.

Good luck. There are so many of us at the same stage in the process, Wishing every one the very best.

 

[MrsG30]

Ladies

I hope your all ok, i've been catching up, i'm lurking in thee background and will up in when/if needed.

Things arnt great here, not relating to azoo but after reading your stories it seems a few of u are having a hard time.

Im deffo in the minority when it comes to donor as we are using a family member, and we have are reason for this, although i'd agree i wouldn't be giving my eyes away until i had a family myself. All of this has made me want to help people though, so after i have my baby(ies) i will be deffo donating.

Mtese- we deiced against this like Deafgal, my DH has NOA and its down to mumps virus as an adult. the % of finding sperm wasn't worth the risk.

Our DS is currently being prepared, and were back at clinic in Dec.

Emma, was the lady told you on the phone is what we were told her but as your IOM, maybe it is different, have you managed to find anything out?

who got what looming? what we waiting for?

lots of love to all xxx

 

[Rainbow123]

I'm just keeping my fingers crossed at the moment. We thought the nurse might try to ring us today at 4.30, after failing to do so on Friday, however no such luck. I'm sick of people saying they are going to ring us back and not following through with it. This happened in September when I'd rang up to ask about our appointment and when I did call back a week after they were supposed to, they put me on hold for 10 minutes whilst they sorting out what they seemingly had forgotten to do beforehand. SICK. OF. IT! Grr!
That is so exciting about your DS being prepared! Getting so close! Yippee!
XXXXX

 

[AuCa]

Good to hear from you MrsG30, it has been a while (I've mostly been lurking too)
Glad that things seem to be moving along with you

Rainbow - I hear you on the frustration. You know, I've been thinking - there is so many books on "dealing with infertility", whereas what I really need is a book on "dealing with fertility clinics/doctors/staff".