Dealing with azoospermia?

[bubumaci]

Arzoo I am sorry that you have been feeling so down! This journey really has horrendous ups and downs that anyone not on this path couldn't even begin to fathom!

Well basically, the tubes aren't important if you are doing IVF because your eggs never need to travel down them. You will stim, once your values + follicle sizes are right, you will inject a triggering hormone and then your eggs will be harvested directly via egg-retrieval. So really, your ovaries need only to produce the follies and the doctors will do the rest. Once the eggs have been harvested, they will be either a) injected with sperm (ICSI) for fertilisation or b) put in a dish with sperm, where the sperm has to find its own way in and fertilise (IVF). That would be decided by the lab technicians depending on the quality of the sperm used. I would be guessing with mTESE, that they would do ICSI - if you have a donor, it might be IVF.

xxx

 

[AuCa]

Well basically, the tubes aren't important if you are doing IVF because your eggs never need to travel down them.

Although this is true, it's not entirely true. There is a reason why they have women do HSGs even when they undergo IVF due to MFI (so did I). There is certain conditions of the tubes which would cause implantation issues/miscarriages. Moreover, the HSG might pick up large polyps/fibroids in the uterus which again could cause issues with implantation (although a saline sonogram is a better way to detect this).

I haven't been around this board much lately as I've sort of "gone underground" after our IVF BFN as well. So, I completely understand gem10

 

[sharon99]

Hello,

Do you all think you can handle another newbie?! I've been reading along for several weeks, but now that our first RE appointment is a week away I thought I'd reach out. We got DH's diagnosis about 2 months ago. The torrent of tears has basically tricked down to manageable sadness (although I started crying in the middle of watching The Heat on Saturday night- WTH?!?). Spark, like you we wondering if the TESE would be worth it and have basically decided we can't afford IVF. I think this was slightly easier for me to come to than DH- biology has just never been a huge deal for me. He fully supports using donor sperm now, although I wonder how we both will handle it when it comes to *actually* choosing a donor. Honestly, my biggest struggle is between using donor sperm and adoption. (I have no known issues). Did you ladies using DS struggle with this too? Like I said, biology is not that important to me- and actually, neither is being pregnant. But we would both like to experience having a newborn, and we would like the opportunity to try and make sure the baby is as healthy as possible (I know, no guarantees).

Anyway, that is our story! You all seem like a very supportive group of amazing, strong women. I'm sorry to read about the string of bad luck that's been happening. It seems like azoospermia is a bad enough break, we should all be exempt from additional bad news! I look forward to getting to know all of you better.

 

[Stinas]

Sharon - Welcome. Im sorry to see you here, but this is a great group! Lots of help here!
I dont know much about donor since we did not have to go that route....but there are ladies here that could tell you a lot more than I can about it.

 

[deafgal01]

Welcome Sharon, there is always room for more newbies!

My dh was not open to discussing options at first when we found out stuff, then as we learned more and saw no results in the meds and everything, he warmed up to the idea of donor because at least it would be "half" adoption- aka we still use my eggs but have a baby from that with ds.

We opted out of tese. The biopsy showed nothing for us to hope so we stopped exploring dh's end after that point.

 

[arzoo]

We went out for a nice dinner last night and at the end of it my DH asked me the question if I was ok to donate my eggs for his sister, who is having fertility issues (failed ivf so now want to eliminate the change that the reason is due to poor eggs) I have always felt she has a very casual attitude towards wanting to have a baby, always giving priority to her professional life over her IVF cycles.

I thought it was very insensitive of him and his sister to ask me , even before we have tried mTese and knowing fully well my thoughts about donors.I am not at that stage of maturity to think about the greater good yet. In future, I may consider donating but to some unknown person but to my own family and then to constantly be reminded everytime I look at that baby's face that it should have been mine if things were in our favour is way too much for me to handle. I dont know who to share these thoughts with and who to ask for advice , thought of posting it here to ask for some thoughts and comments.

 

[deafgal01]

Arzoo- wow... It is both an honor but also a curse to be asked to do something like that. I personally would not especially if I had not yet had any of my own. If you feel you could not cope with the reminder that your possible niece or nephew could have been your own baby, then don't do it. I would definitely take my time to think it over since it does mean doing it for the right reasons, and with a big heart if you decide that you are ok with donating your egg to his sis for use to have her babies.

Are there any support group that can share their experience regarding this? I am curious what they would say of their experience.

I think it is rather insensitive to ask before you even explore your options for having your baby. Furthermore, it would have been better had his sister asked, and not him...

 

[Tammerzann]

Arzoo: I wouldn't even think it right to ask anyone for an egg donation before they had their own children (infertility on the donor side or not). If there was someone who had had their full of babies and was "done" making their own family maybe then would be appropriate. But when they are in the middle of their own infertility struggle and figuring out their own options is IMO downright rude and disrespectful.

Ok now that I've stated my piece I will calm down now and take myself out of your shoes. Phew that made me hot. Sorry you had to experience that. Thank goodness for BnB venting!

 

[Stinas]

Arzoo - men are just not that bright. I'm sure he didn't mean to seem insensitive, he was probably just trying to help his sister through a struggle familiar to yours.
At this stage in your diagnoses....I would just focus on yourself....you need to figure your own infertility plan before helping someone else, regardless family or not.
Personally I would not be able to do it and constantly see that baby either. I'm sure with time knowing you did a good deed, it will pass, but as of now, worry about yourself. Tell dh that too. As much as you may feel for her infertility pain, it's you that needs to be top priority.

 

[bubumaci]

Arzoo - I was shocked when I read your post!
I agree with the pps - when DH suggested using his brother's as donor instead of someone we don't know, I was totally against it (apart from the fact that we are not going down that road yet - if at all). I couldn't even imagine thinking it's his baby growing in me / having to tell the child that his uncle is his Father?!?! And I think it would have been equally tough for the brother + his wife, knowing that we have his child! Definitely think it would have to be a stranger... BUT : you are the focus here, you have your own struggles, figuring out how you both become parents. As trusting as it is of your SIL to come - indirectly - to you for help - the timing couldn't be worse!
I am sure you will be able to make DH understand that, that you are sorry for SIL's struggles, but you have to come first!!

 

[NikkiR143]

Good morning everyone! I've posted on this blog before but just a little background...

My DH had an undescended testicle as a child. He had the corrective surgery, but the testicle still didn't drop and remains in his abdomen to this day. I know this raises his chances of cancer, so this is something I've told him he needs to have looked at.

His left testicle is normal though, so he never suspected fertility would be an issue. Well we've been trying for about a year and 3 months. I finally convinced him to go in for a semen analysis and these were the results...

Collection time, semen 0925
Semen volume >=2.0 mL 1.5
SEMEN, TIME READ 1015
Liquefaction, semen NO
SPERM AGGLUTINATION 3+
Spermatozoa, rapid % >=25 SEE NOTE
Interpretation SEE NOTE
SPERM COUNT, SEMEN TND

TND stands for "test not done". I'm not sure what that means. Did anyone else's husband's have similar results? The Kaiser website doesn't allow me to click on "see note". I've read that the semen is supposed to liquefy, so that's not good. And 3+ agglutination means sperm are clumping. But not really sure what that means either.

We have a fertility consultation on December 2nd (that was their earliest appointment) but I'm completely impatient. Any advice or help you could give me would be great! It's almost as if they didn't complete a full semen analysis. Ugh...frustrating!

 

[arzoo]

Thank you very much for your posts. You are right, what would I do without you ladies to vent out . No one can understand me better than you guys who are in the same unfortunate state as I am. At times during the day I started to doubt if I was over reacting and if it was ok for someone to ask me this favour at this point in my life. But as all of you have clearly stated it just isnt right. what annoyed me even further was the fact that my sis-in-law apparently made my DH ask me and they have been discussing this for a while. Apparently she has even suggested that we could use her husband's sperm so I can have my baby. What were they thinking! Wish he was sensible to have filtered it himself. I am really not looking forward to the evening cant say I have been strong through the struggle , but I have always been supportive of DH making him never feel as though he was to blame. But today was the first time I am angry and mad at him.

 

[Rainbow123]

WOW arzoo, that's such a big ask! I completely agree that you need to put yourself first at the moment. It's bad enough seeing friends getting pregnant with their own eggs, can't imagine how painful that could be if she got pregnant with your eggs before you! Also, it's a lot to put your body through to have the egg retrieval and you probably need all the energy - emotional and physical - that you can get at the moment. It would be so nice if men didn't have "the emotional range of a teaspoon" (quote from Harry Potter lol!). Hugs XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

[Rainbow123]

Welcome Sharon! It's such a mind boggling time when you first find out so I'm really glad you found this forum, it's definitely been a godsend to me! My DH found the concept of DS INCREDIBLY difficult to begin with (back in March-ish time) but is now completely on board. I never thought he would come around, but luckily he did! XXX

 

[deafgal01]

Nicole- I cannot interpret any of that so sorry that I am not of much help.

Arzoo- a while? How long is a while? Oh I would be pissed if he had been talking his sis a while about these kind of options. There is no way I would allow family members to be the donor of my baby!

 

[Izabela]

Arzzo I agree with the girls . I would not accept a family donor sperm or eggs if I ever need. I would also not donate to family but I am happy to donate to someone else. If I had my family I may consider being a surrogate for a family member but only once my family would be completed. Imagine how hard would be if you do not agree with their way to parent... Your husband should understand your feelings once you explain to him and also his sister may just not think things through. She can use unknown egg donor and if they are in a rush and want to jump in front of the waiting list some clinics in UK offer priority and cheaper IVF to sperm donor, so her husband can also anonymously donate.

 

[Mikihob]

Hi Arzoo. i agree with the other ladies as well. It would have been better had your SIL come to you personally, instead of DH. Did she ask him to ask you or is he suggesting it without her knowing? If I were in your shoes I would say NO. If I had already had my kids and been done, it might be different. What happens if you do decide to donate, you keep half to freeze and she takes half (or even if she takes all of them), and she gets pregnant right away?? I could not watch her pregnancy and be happy or enjoy having that niece or nephew. It would be far too heartbreaking knowing she was successful with your eggs and that that could be your child. Wow. What a tough spot. I am sorry that you are put into such a hard situation.

 

[arzoo]

Hi Nicole. Sorry don't know what those results mean. The long wait can be frustrating can you call and request the doctor to call you back ? I did that when I could not wait for my results and he was kind enough to call me back.

 

[spark_28]

Rainbow- Our situations sound so similar. I am thinking we will move forward with the mTESE sometime early spring. Perhaps even January. No dates set yet though. Do you have any concrete dates? Have you started the IVF process? Sending you the very best while you go through this process. It is an added bonus to have a nosy family through it, as if it isn't heart breaking enough! I think we have both decided to not go with DS if nothing is found on the mTESE. But I have wondered if we did decide to use DS if we would even tell anyone about it at all. I am thinking that we wouldn't.

 

[arzoo]

Thank you Spark for your post made me realise that I have company. I am so glad to know that both you and Rainbow could be having the procedure around the same time as me. I have not started the IVF process. we only met up with the specialist last saturday, we are waiting for the IVF hospital to contact us regarding the appointment.
If you dont mind me asking, where are you based? The reason I am asking is, I am told in the US you cannot go ahead without having a DS as back up.
I am not yet at the stage to consider DS and if fate forces me to , I would never mention it to family or anyone.
Sending you both and every one else the very best in our attempts to have a family.