Dealing with azoospermia?

That's so tough that you can't hang around. I'm a dreadful worrier about things going wrong too but your hubby will come through this fine. I really hope they have some good news for you and don't keep you waiting too long! :hugs:
 
Any news StepMummy? Hope hubby is ok after his op xx :hugs:
 
Hi Ladies, we got bad news I'm afraid, the op went well, except the op was 1 hour long instead of the normal 30 mins. They had a good dig around to find the sperm and have discovered that he has a problem where he is producing the sperm but they are not maturing nor are they coming out. This could be something that would have happened anyway or could be due to something "environmental" (whatever that means!") but has obviously happened in later life. There is nothing that they can do. Also while he was in there they found a "Lesion" which they have taken away for testing and we have to wait 5 days for the results on that too, so we are now worried about this, my DH always thinks the worst on these things and is thinking about the big "C", but if it is a lesion, thats just tissue growth hopefully, but one of the doctors we spoke to on the phone today mentioned lump - which scared him even more!

We are now waiting for the results of that!

We don't know what to tell people, because if we tell them he has no sperm and we go for the donor route, we don;t know who to tell, I would only tell parents and borthers and sisters, as you would never want friends to know that, but its difficult trusting them to such abig secret, and if it gets out later, how does this all affect the child - do you tell the child - one million questions!!! So at the moment we are telling everyone we have not got the results yet, while we think about what to say. We have an appointment at the IVF clinic to discuss donor, but thats not until 13th Sept, we hope that they will give us guidance on what to say to people, but what do we do in the meantime!!!

Anyway we are considering Donor, but I don't know if I want that, but I know its our only choice. I think this has not really hit met yet, I know I am sad about something, but in the back of my mind I am still thinking about my DH's baby and not someone elses!

I will keep you informed, I hope you all get some better news soon to cheer me up!!!
 
I'm so sorry hun :hugs: and to have the extra worries too, must be awful for you.

How is hubby physically?

I think Flake-y and Looby-Lou are the ones who will be able to better answer your questions about the donor thing. My feeling is that if the results are bad when hubby has his, we will only tell immediate family. Other people don't need to know especially if we take the donor route - Like you - I wouldn't want everyone knowing and giving their opinions.

Thinking of you both xx
 
Hey Stepmummy, so sorry hubby's op didn't go to plan, hope his test results come back with some good news though.

You might have read my earlier posts; my DH had a SSR about 6 weeks ago, and no sperm was found, he is not producing them at all. This is either caused by the severe mumps he had as a teeneger, or from birth, we don't know for sure.

Anyway, we had decided before this if there wasn't any sperm, we would go down the donor route, and we are starting IUI with donor sperm next week.

We will still think of it as our baby, and at least it'll be half 'properly' ours. We've told our parents & my best friend knows, although we fully intend to tell our child as young as possible, as we feel is their right to know, and I'm not good at keeping secrets anyway!!!

If you want to pm me with any questions about using donor sperm, I'd be happy to answer them. I know using a donor isn't for everyone, and believe me, it's not our ideal situation either, but it's either that, adoption or no kids at all, and we're happy with the choice we've made.

You should go on the donor conception network, there's a really nice article written by a man in a similar situation to our hubbies, his wife has just had a baby conceived with donor sperm & it's a really uplifting article, we both found it really helpful.

Anyway, sorry for the novel. Hope you are ok & please feel free to get in touch!!!
 
thank you both very much for your kind words!

It is hard to deal with and I am worried about his lesion results. But in the meantime I am desperate to tell our immediate family, as like you I am no good a telling lies, the main worry is that someone else will let it slip, my DH's brother is not good at keeping secrets, and I would hate for him to tell one of our friends, who tells another and so on.

I am keen on the Donor idea, I have never had a baby, so like you its the only real option, and I think DH has settled on that too, as he realises he can't ask me to live without a baby and he does want one v much too. I am so glad that he already has a child, so that he has at least had that experience before. I think our main problem is more I am keen to share with those closest, but DH is worried what people will think, after all he is the one who wont be the biological parent not me, and you want the family to accept the child as their neice, nephew grandchild etc, when in fact they won't be, and most of all my step son's brother/sister.

Whatever we do I think we are going to take some time out, once we have DH's biopsy results, assuming that is ok, as we have had such a long time, worrying stressing and thinking of nothing else, we are going on holiday on October, and have agreed to not start the next step until Jan, then hopefully by then I can get myself into good healt, cut down drinking wine, and be ready for the course of drugs etc that is needed.

Thanks again for your help its really appreciated!

XXX
 
It's so good to hear you sounding a bit more positive today and great news that hubby is becoming more open to using a donor.

It's hubby I worry about if our news isn't good and we end up using a donor - he just cannot keep ANYTHING to himself - he's just too open and honest with people! I would never want him to feel bad about his azoospermia, but equally, I didn't expect (or want) him to tell virtually everyone we know; not just family but neighbours, friends etc

I'm glad he doesn't feel bad about it, but I keep telling him to be VERY careful - the last thing I would want if we used a donor is every single friend, neighbour etc knowing! I've told him that apart from immediate family, as far as anyone else is concerned, they found sperm (whether they do or not) but I'm not sure he can keep anything to himself !

I think your plans sound great and a holiday will do you the world of good.

Keep your chin up xx
 
Hi Angela,
Sorry to hear your news and that you're having a really rough time. We also had SSR 3 weeks ago, with my hubby they did actually find some sperm, which we were not expecting at all as they had only given us a 20% chance, however none of it was 'normal' and although they wouldn't say either way whether it would fertilize or not, my dh made the decision to go ahead with the donor sperm that we had lined up, to give us the best possible chance of a BFP - and it worked! We were both resigned that we may have to use the DS, but to be honest when they said that they had found sperm, i would have opted to use DH's very easily, however he was more sensible and i do feel that we have made the right decision, especially now we have found out we're pregnant! It is a really really hard decision to make and one that you don't ever consider however it is so the best thing for us. We are so excited, we both desperately wanted a baby and after trying for 2 years we are so happy. This baby will be ours and we will love it so much, we've just had to do things differently but we are so grateful to the donor. Regarding telling people, only our parents know that we are using the DS, we didn't feel it necessary to tell everyone else, after all it is so personal and what it is to do with anyone else? They are all assuming that sperm was found and that's fine, we have had a few remarks like 'ooh i'm so glad you didn't have to use the donor' but frankly we don't care as our baby is our baby. We haven't talked about telling the baby about the donor since we became pregnant, we will definitely do this but at the minute i don't want to go on about it to DH as he still comes out with terrible things about him being no good etc and i don't want to spoil this time. Last weekend he said to me 'i'll never ever leave you because no one else would ever love me like you do because i've got no sperm and couldn't give anyone children' Suffice to say he got a slap for this!
But bless them, i think it must one of the hardest things to go through, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. When we found out last December i never expected that we would be pregnant in September.
Take care and look after each other, and i really hope the lesions are nothing.
Linzie xx
 
Hi Ladies, thank you again for your lovely words, and congratulations to Loubylou, you both must be so pleased.

DH is having a tough time, he felt much better on day one and really good on day 2, but yesterday and overnight this morning he has not slept, is feeling a bit flu like and is very uncomfortable. I think that the amount of tablets he has had over the last few days have made him feel rough. The cut is healing well though, and it has finally stopped bleeding. He has really black bruises, but I think because they took over 1 hour to operate on him the really had a good dig around and had to take the biopsy! Poor thing. Also he has not mentioned not being able to have a baby and does not want to talk about it, the only real thing that he has said is when he told me at the hospital that he wanted to go for the donor route. He is more worried about the lession, which is fair enough, I am too, but I would like to chat to him about the results as I have no-one except you ladies, as we have told everyone we are still waiting for results. I think because we are telling people this, its like we partly believe that! As you say I am giving him lots of cuddles, running around after him and giving him lots of love, but without him talking about it its hard to reassure him! How long was the recovery process for you DH??

I just want to have the results of the biopsy with good news, and tell my mum and dad and sister in laws then I think we can start to focus on more positive things and start to look forward.

I am so pleased that you and your DH were able to make such a quick and sure decision, I wish we could have but we did not want to consider that route really until we had no choice I suppose.

Its great news that you are now on the home run, and you have completed the hardest part of the journey, now you and your DH have the fun stuff to look foward to, sharing the great news, everyone will be so pleased for you after such a long time!

Thanks and good luck and look after yourself and your bean!
XXX
 
Hey Angela,

Mt DH took quite a while to recover from his SSR too; the urologist had said he would only be out of sorts for a couple of days, but he had the SSR on the tuesday, was ok on the wed/thurs, just a bit sore & uncomfortable, but on the Friday when I went back to work, I came home to find that he had only moved from the couch once, to crawl to the fridge for a small carton of orange juice. He didn't eat properly for a couple of days, and on the Sunday night I told him that if he wasn't improving by the Monday, he would have to go stay with his Mum & Dad, cause I had to go back to work & I didn't want to leave him all day if he wasn't going to eat or drink anything.

That seemed to spur him on cause he was much better by the beginning of the next week.

I think it was the op, combined with the shock of there being no sperm that made him so unwell. I just tried to act as normal as possible around him; and his mum & dad came round with takeaways etc to try & cheer him up!

Hope your DH feels better over the next couple of days, just keep giving him lots of TLC!!!
 
Hi Ladies

First of all congratulations Loobyloo!! that is brilliant news!!!

Step mummy i am sorry you have had the bad news about finding no sperm!! OH had his ultrasound although no mention of anythign up the bum!! i am not going to mention that to him incase he has to have it done at the fertility clinic!! he would not be impressed lol!!! they didnt find any blockages either but kept saying things were flowing what ever that means! i wasnt allowed in so couldnt ask any questions!!!

were not really too sure how to take the news of no blockages as in someways that would be the easiest thing to deal with! but when he had is SA results they did say there were a few sperms too few to count and were dead?! not sure what that means! GP once results come back and referral to fertility clinic where i am sure we will repeat a million tests all over again!!!

we have also not been able to discuss the donor sperm properly i think he has this thing about it being somebody elses child! which is heartbreaking for me! i cant live without a child and want him to love a donor baby just as much!! i would also be tempted to not tell a single sole so that they would be none the wiser! but no its not the way to do things!!
x
 
I'd think if they found one sperm in the SA, even if it was dead, then that means he is producing them somewhere? Did the urologist give you any ideas?
 
nope urologist was really useless said he didnt know why we had come to see him?! he examined OH and got his nurse to take some blood and referred us for the ultrasound and then said to go back to our GP and ask to be reffered to an actual fertility clinic!!
I dont think urologist had a copy of the SA results different hospital!! i am going to ask for copies of everything i think so that i am ready and armed when we go to see a consultant!!!
 
Omg what a rubbish urologist!!! That's not the kind of service you'd expect when you get referred to a so-called 'expert'!!!
 
We have had the week from hell! Things got from bad to worse over the weekend and by Monday DH was feeling really really ill, and in pain. I am not writing this to scare the hell out of you all, but I want to encourage you all to ask a lot more questions and find out what to expect and what things to look for if things are going wrong. I know I have read a lot of posts where guys have the SSR and are back to normal within a few days, unfortunately we are not one of those, but things could have been a lot easier and less upsetting, if I had know what to look for and who to contact. I am sorry, this is a really long post!:wacko:

DH had the op on Wednesday 1st Sept, on Friday he was feeling really well, he was eating, downstairs, even sat in the garden and did some canvas painting! He was quite swollen which we expected.

Saturday he started to feel Flu'y but the swelling had gone down, Sunday worse.

Monday- much worse, one ball now 3 x the size of normal, he felt like he had proper flu without cold part, but he was in much more pain. I called the hospital but no-one would speak to me - I had to go to the doctor, had the normal challenge to get an emergency appt, this was then booked for 3.50 that afternoon, but at 3pm, DH went for a wee and could barely make it to the ensuite, he was wincing/growling in agony. I called the GP again and had to beg the unhelpful receptionist to get someone to call me back, which they did and they told him to take double the dose of the Ibuprophen just so he could get in to the doctors!! Which we did and he managed to get there -DR said it looked like an infection and gave him antibiotics, did not comment on the flu'y symptoms!

Tuesday, worse still, but waiting for the antibiotics to kick in. Tuesday 9pm, he was really ill, now being sick, still swollen 4 x the normal size - really red, feeling worse flu like, could barely move, I tried to call the hospital, every 11 of the numbers I had were all office hours, I tried the doctor but constantly engaged, I am now crying my eyes out! I had to search on the internet to get the NHS Direct number, called them - poor lady had to deal with me trying to explain whilst crying!!! She did well and said someone would call me back in about 1 hour!!! "What I need someone now"! Bless her she went and got a nurse to talk to me. This finally calmed me down as she gently explained, that the flu symptoms are part of the infection so to be execpted, not something else as we were thinking, the sickness is due to taking Co-codamol for so long, so stop taking them and use paracetamol instead, the swelling should go down or at least be the same at 48 hours after starting to take the antibiotics. They then got our out of hours GP to call me back, she was prepared to do a house visit, but we decided there was nothing more that could be done then.

He is now much better, we had a check up yesterday, the swelling is now gone down to nearly normal size, and a week later he has finally made it back downstairs and is a bit more mobile. Thank god, it has been the worst week of my life, I am absolutely nackered, I have hardly slept, and feel like I have not stopped running around after him and trying to work from home in between!

If we had known what the symptoms were of an infection, I think we could have picked this up on Saturday, and he would not have gotten so bad. The hospital just seemed to kick you out and give you Ibuprophen and Co-codamol and say take it as per the packet says. This was not sufficient pain killers, as there are not enough tables to make it through the day! They send you away with no "what to expect" "how it should look" "What to look for if things are going wrong" and "who to contact" - nothing.

I am writing this to encourage all of you who are heading for this op, to really plan ahead and ask for as much info as possible - and take notes so you can confidently refer to it later. It is very unlikely you wil lhave the same experience as me, as I am sure most guys are back to work within the week. But you need to be prepared for - what if things aren't healing like they should. We went into this far too casually, thinking it would be an easiy ride with a couple of days of pain I couldn't have been more wrong. You need to ask who you can contact, day or night if you have a question, how it should look after a few days, and what to look for if things aren't normal. What you can do to increase the pain killers, and what side effects come from taking them for several days. You also may want to consider sleeping seperately so he can spread his legs out, you may also want to tell your job that if things do go wrong you could be off work too for over a week. Also have someone locally who can help you if things get too much for you, I could really have done with someone to call that night for support and help and another pair of eyes! And someone who could have dealt with my husband less histerically - as I expect I did not help him!

Please don't feel scared by my experience (remember if you don't have the op - you will never know!), the worst of my experience was not being prepared, if I could have expected some of this, it would have been much easier to deal with and we could have dealt things quicker. Just take my advice and ask the questions, and even if he doesn't recover so quickly, then at least you are prepared.

I am just so pleased now that we are (Hopefully) on the home run now, we are even venturing out of the house this afternoon!

Good luck to you all, and fingers crossed you get the result you are all looking for.

If you want to ask any questions, then please do I am happy to help anyway I can.

With best wishes to you all
Angela
XXX
 
Hi Angela

So sorry you and hubby have had such an awful week - it must have been dreadful especially on top of everything else you're dealing with right now. I've always been really worried about something going wrong.

Our pre op SSR info appt was pretty good and the nurse was very good at explaining what to expect etc, but I appreciate the info you have given and I have talked to hubby about it. I'm not into hiding things from him and have always said it's his decision whether he wants to have the SSR or not. It hasn't put him off luckily and as he says - I'm such a neurotic worrier that he'll only have to wince one too many times and I'll be on the phone to the Dr! :dohh:

Anyway, thanks again for the info and I hope hubby is getting better each day. When do you get more news about the lesions? Thinking of you both xx
 
Angela; what an awful time for you & ur DH!

My DH was quite unwell afterwards too, not an infection, but just took more out of him than we thought.

Our urologist gave him antibiotics to take for 3 days as well as co-codamol & tramadol, so I knew he didn't have an infection but was still worried nevertheless.

The hosp we went to was also crap, we had to actually ask if DH was to take any medications, they just gave us the bag of meds & said nothing about aftercare. In fact, I actually had to phone the hospital the next day to find out if it was ok for him to have a shower & remove the support strap thing he had on.

I have vowed never, ever to go back to that hosp, the care was appalling!!

Hope ur DH is feeling much better now & is on the road to recovery!!!
 
I asked our clinic about testing for fructose but they said it's not something they test for!!?!?! :shrug:

Also found this info - not sure if you are aware of it -

"Lastly, your husband should ejaculate and then have the urine following ejaculation tested for the presence of sperm. If there is sperm in his urine, this could indicate that the entry to the bladder isn't closing properly, and is therefore allowing the semen to flow into the bladder."

Again - it's not somehing our clinic investigate. They say the only way to really know is to do the SSR - I'm keeping my fingers crossed that hubby wont be going through it all for nothing.

Someone recommended a book to me - which I haven't got round to getting yet, but may be some interest to you

"Helping The Stork, the choices and challenges of donor insemination by Carol Frost Vercollone M.S.W, Heidi Moss M.S.W and Robert Moss P.H.D."

Deb, it has been awhile since I have been on here, but I got the book you suggested and have read it. I loved how I could relate to so much in that book. So many of the feeling myself and my husband have been feeling were discussed in that book. We actually read it together on a long road trip. It really helped me think about our options with Donor sperm. So thanks again and I would recommend it to others deciding if DS is a right choice for them. It also discusses ways others have dealt with deciding who to tell and tell the child or not.

After two unsuccessful IUI attempts with DS, we took a few months off to emotionally recharge. We are trying it again this next cycle... We are really hoping it works this time.
 
Glad the book was of use. I haven't read it yet, but will definitely look it out if we don't get good news next month.

Wishing you loads of luck for your next IUI cycle xx
 
Hi, My husband was diagnosed with azoospermia on his very first SA... He has an appt with a urologist later this month...We hadnt had sex for over a month before the SA was done...could this be a cause of azoospermia? I tried looking online, but can't find anything...
 

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