Dealing with azoospermia?

[MissAma]

*sigh* seems no one is doing great.. We had major set backs...First my boss had a -veiled-go at me about wanting another IVF baby. Then found out the SSR not till Jan 17 which made me furious -no other time slots- because l didn't want to go over Xmas without knowing if they find sperm and worst of all l had a mini-stroke and spent 2 days in hospital with the prospect of 3 months of anticiagulants and delaying treatment hanging over my head. They decided against it so we can start whenever but it's not ideal.

 

[Deb111]

Sorry you're having a hard time too MissAma and sorry to hear you've not been well hun

It's frustrating having to wait til after christmas we're just trying to convince ourselves the time will fly by with everything that's going on and at least we wont be worried about timings / testing etc until the new year

And as for your boss ... what the hell's it got to do with them?!?!?! xx

 

[kosenrufu]

*sigh* seems no one is doing great.. We had major set backs...First my boss had a -veiled-go at me about wanting another IVF baby. Then found out the SSR not till Jan 17 which made me furious -no other time slots- because l didn't want to go over Xmas without knowing if they find sperm and worst of all l had a mini-stroke and spent 2 days in hospital with the prospect of 3 months of anticiagulants and delaying treatment hanging over my head. They decided against it so we can start whenever but it's not ideal.

Dara - pls tell me the story..my DH has azoospermia too & the doc wasnt sure of the reason - he sd it cud be environmental..huh neways he has put my dh on weekly & alternate injections & sd this will boost hormones but can take sme time..he wasnt sure how much...i m feeling very lost

 

[silverbell]

An update on ME: we have been told there is only a 10% chance that my OH can be fixed, they think there is too much damage. (my OH has scar tissue in both testes, 10% chance it can be fixed) He has another app in dec for a scan and they will give us their decision on whether it is worthwhile to operate. If not, our next option is donor dont get me wrong, if we have to use donor we will, but it will kill me and OH if we cant have 'his' baby it is so unfair, but we are not willing to give up, we will do whatever is necessary.

I can totally relate to this. We've been given a 5% chance of finding any sperm when DH has his op in January. We've been grieving since we found out and to be honest we've both already accepted that it's highly likely he'll never have his own biological children. There isn't a word strong enough to describe the devastation. We'll be going for donor sperm as well. I have to keep reminding myself that that donor child will exist because of the massive amounts of love, respect and strength DH and I have for one another and that's more than what some biological parents have. Sending you lots of

as my fs started talking about DS, and its thrown me a little as this wasnt something that had entered my head, i was maybe expecting sa to be a little low but not 0

im so scared bacause i know the rollercoaster weve got ahead of us, i have to go to work now and just dont know how im going to function as normal all day

thanks everyone in advance x

Are you able to take some time off? I had to have a day off work the day after I found out, as I was struggling too much to cope. It's an incredibly distressing thing to go through - try and be kind to yourself.

The fact that there were some sperm - even immotile - is a really good thing in my opinion. At least you know he is making them and it's true that they say it only takes 1!

So, alot has been going on in my world these past few weeks. Our house got broken into last Tues and my safe with every dime I had saved up for my appt in Jackson yesterday was stolen, not to mention our PS3 and our guns... plus they ransacked our poor house! You talk about one pissed lady! Especially over my "baby" money!!!!! That was the most devistating thing!!! *sigh* But thanks to my wonderful aunt, I was still able to make it to my appt yesterday! Yay!

So sorry about the house break That's horrible that your money has been stolen (amongst other things). How despicable are these people that do these sorts of things. They make me so mad

I'm glad you still got to your appointment and that you've been given so much useful information. Lots to be thinking about and getting on with now. Exciting for you!

*sigh* seems no one is doing great.. We had major set backs...First my boss had a -veiled-go at me about wanting another IVF baby. Then found out the SSR not till Jan 17 which made me furious -no other time slots- because l didn't want to go over Xmas without knowing if they find sperm and worst of all l had a mini-stroke and spent 2 days in hospital with the prospect of 3 months of anticiagulants and delaying treatment hanging over my head. They decided against it so we can start whenever but it's not ideal.

I'm so sorry to hear about the mini-stroke, MissAma I'm also sorry to hear about the SSR delay, but 17 January will honestly be here before you know it. Christmas and New Year always seems to fly by with so many social events and excitement.

As for your boss - I agree with Deb: what on EARTH has it got to do with them and why should you stop at one if the potential is there for you to have another? Do IVF couples not get to choose how many children they'd like, like fertile couples get?! Madness.

 

[Sar187]

MissAma-So sorry to hear about the health issues. I really hope you are feeling better! I cannot believe your boss. As the other ladies said the 17th of January will be here before you know it, the delay sucks but I am sure there is a reason for it!

AFM-I am on day 2 of stims and already have the migraine and stiff/sore neck from the gonal-f. I was hoping to skip that this time but oh well. I go in on friday for my first bloodwork and u/s to check my progress. Last cycle I had about 15 measurable follies at that time so hoping for good progress again! I had about 17 antral follies at my baseline appt. Have still been doing acupuncture and have been doing a fertility meditation that I am loving so far!

Sorry if I missed anyone. I hope EOE is doing well!

 

[Deb111]

*sigh* seems no one is doing great.. We had major set backs...First my boss had a -veiled-go at me about wanting another IVF baby. Then found out the SSR not till Jan 17 which made me furious -no other time slots- because l didn't want to go over Xmas without knowing if they find sperm and worst of all l had a mini-stroke and spent 2 days in hospital with the prospect of 3 months of anticiagulants and delaying treatment hanging over my head. They decided against it so we can start whenever but it's not ideal.

Dara - pls tell me the story..my DH has azoospermia too & the doc wasnt sure of the reason - he sd it cud be environmental..huh neways he has put my dh on weekly & alternate injections & sd this will boost hormones but can take sme time..he wasnt sure how much...i m feeling very lost

Hi Kosenrufu and welcome

Can I ask what injections your husband is on? Make sure he's NOT on testosterone injections as giving him artificial testosterone will stop his body producing any of it's own testosterone and therefore sperm

 

[Deb111]

MissAma-So sorry to hear about the health issues. I really hope you are feeling better! I cannot believe your boss. As the other ladies said the 17th of January will be here before you know it, the delay sucks but I am sure there is a reason for it!

AFM-I am on day 2 of stims and already have the migraine and stiff/sore neck from the gonal-f. I was hoping to skip that this time but oh well. I go in on friday for my first bloodwork and u/s to check my progress. Last cycle I had about 15 measurable follies at that time so hoping for good progress again! I had about 17 antral follies at my baseline appt. Have still been doing acupuncture and have been doing a fertility meditation that I am loving so far!

Sorry if I missed anyone. I hope EOE is doing well!

Hi Sar

I don't know if gonal f works in the same way, but I was told synarel gives you a stinking, constant headache and I had none whatsover. All I can put it down to is that I drink like a fish!!! So make sure you drink loads! xx

 

[mrsd1606]

thanks for the welcome, the support for each other on here is amazing

Iv not been on for a few days as i couldnt face it after the diagnosis on mon i feel like iv been going through a period of grieving, for the baby we will never conceive without medical intervention, dont get me wrong iv been through every low emotion possibly this week but hopefully i feel like im coming out the other side right now.

wer in the very lucky position that my mum and dad (who thankfully hav been fantastic and so supportive, unlike his parents ) hav offered to pay for a private consultation, rather than waiting 6 months for nhs one, i dont think we could cope waiting that long. especially dh who is very good at burying his head in the sand until he has facts in front of him. hes not very good at talking about things and bottles things up claiming he's fine, when i know he cant be! has anyone else had this with their dh's?? i worry about how hes dealing with it?

anyway enough about me, sending hope and hugs everyones way x

 

[cosita]

Sorry I've been MIA lately ladies. I've really not been in a good place. Things built up and built up and the final straw was getting myself geared up to start weight watchers, having dreadful trouble with the website not letting me save the lists of things I eat and then I dropped a bowl of mango salsa I'd made all over the floor last sunday night. I sat in the middle of the kitchen floor and sobbed for an hour and a half

Deb, I'm sorry to hear about WW, I don't know if this is any help to do but weightlossresources.co.uk has been a godsend to me. I have lost almost 4 stone because of it, although its been over two years, it has taught me to eat well and the importance of exercise. There is a great support group there and a fantastic forum to make you feel like you've got company all the way thru. They give you a 24 hour free trial to see if you like it. It works out a lot cheaper that WW though and its a lot easier (for me anyway cos living in Spain I find it hard to count points cos a lot of the foods are beyond that.
Let me know if you want anymore info

 

[Step Mummy]

I had my tube check and all is fine, however unfrotuantely I had a bad reaction to the examination and had to have the heart rate monitor and blood pressure monitor put on and was not allowed to leave for an hour!! typical it has to happen to me! Anyway good news is we are all ready to chose a new donor.

We spoke to another person at the hospital and they said that sometimes there can be incompatibility issues, so chosing a new donor would be a good idea. She said she has seen this before, 3 goes and failed - new donor - lucky first time with new donor! So fingers crossed now we can find someone we like ready to start in my January cycle. Just got to wait it out now for 6 weeks until we go again!!

Talking about side effects of the drugs, when i do the Trigger Injection I get a really bunged up nose, I mean properly solid bunged up, swollen all around my sinuses and cannot breath at all - for about 3 days. Really bazzar - this is just like rhinitus of pregnancy which is a side effect of pregnancy - - you get it with the drugs because of the pregnancy hormone that they are putting in - god I hope I don't end up having this for the whole pregnancy I will die - it is so painful and uncomfortable and you just can't sleep!!!

For those who asked; I am pretty sure she said my AMH is 1.2 which is quite low, but she said I should be ok as long as we do IUI and don't have to go for IVF, which hopefully we won't have to.

Anyway I am back to smiling again, and just playing the waiting game - but after 2 and half years I am good a this now!!!

Good luck all & speak soon xxx

 

[Step Mummy]

Wannabmum & Silverbell: QUOTE "We've been given a 5% chance of finding any sperm when DH has his op in January. We've been grieving since we found out and to be honest we've both already accepted that it's highly likely he'll never have his own biological children. There isn't a word strong enough to describe the devastation. We'll be going for donor sperm as well. I have to keep reminding myself that that donor child will exist because of the massive amounts of love, respect and strength DH and I have for one another and that's more than what some biological parents have." END QUOTE

I know it is really tough, it actually took me 10 months to come to terms with this before we could actually go ahead and start looking at donors. My DH dealt with it better than me and wanted to just get on with it, but I couldn't. I think he had a little comfort from already having a son 20 years ago, so at least he has experienced having his own child, but he still found it all very tought - and still does. (although I don't think this helped me, as his son is identicle to DH). We were told environmental issues too, which gives you no help whatsoever, especially when he already has a child.

It is devastating, and I don't think anyone actually knows how this feels unless they go through it. You need to take time to grieve and give yourselves time to deal with it, before rushing into the next steps. We filled our diary with holidays and good things for a few months to help cheer ourselves up after 2 years of misery - before we started the next period of misery! I was very worried how we would react when we got pg finally and how we would feel when it arrived, I was concerned we might somehow reject the baby - strange thoughts considering how much we wanted one - but I so wanted to look at my baby and see my DH in them. Good luck - take all the time you need. xxx

 

[Sar187]

Deb-I kind of expected the headache this time as I had it last time as well. I have been doing fertility meditation which also seems to be keeping the headache manageable.

Angela- glad to hear your tubes are all clear and there is no issue there. I really hope it was just a compatibility issue and your next cycle with a new donor is a BFP! All the meds do crazy things to us!

MrsD-Our DH's do go through a grieving process as well and we can't expect them to deal with it the same way we do. Just give him some time and he will open up when he is ready. And don't be surprised if he starts thinking he is less of a man or isn't good enough for you or tells you to just find someone else who can give you a baby. It will pass as he starts to come to terms with it. Make sure you both take the time you need to accept the diagnosis. This is a great group of ladies here and will always support you whether you just to vent or need support!

AFM-feeling better today hoping the headache doesn't come back too bad. Looking forward to getting a look at how my follies are doing on Friday!

 

[Deb111]

Thanks Corsita - WW is sorted now - no help to them or their useless customer services / technical issues team, but I will bear what you've said in mind

Angela - great news

Sar - good luck for friday xx

 

[kosenrufu]

Hi Deb...

The Doc is giving FSH hormones to my husband..said it should help secrete the right hormones....do u know anything abt them??

 

[CanadianMaple]

DH was just diagnosed with this yesterday. I haven't stopped crying. I am heading out and will be back to keep reading though this thread. I'm so glad I am not alone in this.

 

[Deb111]

Hi Deb...

The Doc is giving FSH hormones to my husband..said it should help secrete the right hormones....do u know anything abt them??

Not too much - my hubby was on meds to drive his FSH and therefore his testosterone, but from what I've read, FSH will drive the leydig cells and testosterone so fingers crossed for you xx

 

[Deb111]

DH was just diagnosed with this yesterday. I haven't stopped crying. I am heading out and will be back to keep reading though this thread. I'm so glad I am not alone in this.

So sorry you're having to deal with this diagnosis but you have found a wonderfully supportive group - I don't think any of us have the same story as to our dh's azoospermia, so you will find lots of different info.

Take some time to grieve and don't beat yourself up over how you're feeling. This is a loss - it's not necessarily the end of you and your dh having a baby together and there are lots of things to explore, but knowing it will not happen how you always dreamed it would, is a loss and you will go through many emotions over the next few days and weeks.

Just ask if there's anything you want to know and feel free to rant away xx

 

[Bookworm]

Hi all - been been so long since I've been on the thread that I feel like a bit of a newbie here!
Hello to those who have joined recently; in one sense I hate seeing new people here, as I wouldn't wish this on any one - but on the other hand if you have to go through it then you are in the best place possible I owe a lot to the ladies on this thread, and just reading through the posts really helped me at the start.

Lots has been happening here! I don't really know where to start... I've just spent the last couple of hours catching up (back to the beginning of Oct). Robberies and cycles and donors and clinic troubles... I'm sorry I wasn't here at the time, but though I've not been about I've been thinking of you all and sending out positive vibes.

I had a bit of a hard time in October; my SIL gave birth to a little boy - for a lot of reasons this was hard for me, as I know you can all imagine. This one has been the hardest for me - they broke the news at a big family gathering during the summer, just after our 0 SA. He is DH's younger brother, married under a year at the time and this leaves us as the 'childless couple', all of which was explored in detail by the family for humourous effect on the day. It was pretty awful, and there was no escape. Timing wise this means that they got pregnant in the only month I ever had a scare, I really thought I was pg in Feb '11.... Its not really their fault, none of them knew we were TTC or having problems, but something broke in me that day - I felt as if something had been taken away from me. So the birth of this child was very complicated for me - all very selfish and self-indulgent but there it is - & to top it off they stole my name - which sounds really stupid, but the night we came home from the BBQ when they announced their BFP, I said to DH when we got home " they're going to have a boy and they're going to call him Josh" - and guess what?
Then there is the whole CF thing too - just weeks before the birth we got the results back showing that DH is a CF carrier ( the cause of his azoospermia) meaning his DB could be too, and potentially if his wife is too they could have had a very sick child. But of course we couldn't tell a mother, weeks before the birth of her child that it might have CF... So we had to guiltily sit on the news and hope to God that the child was healthy (and thankfully he is thriving).

Plus we were waiting to start our first cycle at the time. We started down reg on 8th Nov, I'm taking my trigger shot on Sunday & ER is scheduled for Tuesday. All moving for us now - I'm cautiously optimistic. I realise that the percentages are hard to beat, but I also know that I'm healthy, everything is going well so far, and even at the worst this is just the first cycle - in a way I thinking of it as something that we need to do to get to a BFP on the 2nd or 3rd attempt, but that if it worked 1st time we'd be over the moon - I call it realistic optimism / maybe that should be optimistic realism...

Lastly for us, something that has really helped me turn a corner is that DH has started to show some softness - he has been so strong for me through this all that sometimes it came across as though he was a bit detached, and maybe not that bothered. But recently he's admitted to finding it hard, made a few comments about finding different situations tough, and talking about imagining a LO climbing into bed with us in the mornings and all cuddling up together on the sofa. For some reason that has really helped me, i really needed to know that he was find this tough ( sounds awful when i say that). I think maybe I've been a bit selfish, indulging my own emotions too much and forcing him to be strong for me; maybe I held him back from dealing with it all...

Well - sorry for the waffle - should probably be a journal entry rather than a post here bet your all glad I don't post more often!! Lots of

 

[Deb111]

Sorry you've had a tough time dealing with things lately hun. I think we beat ourselves up over how we deal with friends having babies / getting pregnant, but I think it's important to remember that we are not wishing they WEREN'T pregnant or HADN'T had a baby, we just wish it was us ASWELL and there's no need to feel bad about that. If it can come so easily to some people, why should others have to go through all this

 

[wibble wobble]

I agree with you Deb... I wouldn't wish azoospermia on anyone,being unable to conceive a baby naturally is the worst thing that can happen to anyone,it's so unfair to deny people the ability to reproduce. Seeing people with babies or pregnant only makes the hurt, hurt harder and the journey more daunting. People are always going to be having babies too easily compared to any of us,we wouldn't be human if we didn't envy them if only for a minute.