Dealing with azoospermia?

[Deb111]

Deafgal - if you remind us all EXACTLY where you and your dh are at and what tests etc you've both had done, I'm sure we can help with the questions for your appointment xx

 

[deafgal01]

So far we've had- 2 blood tests (to check hormone levels) and 1 SA test done on my DH.

As for me... I've had my blood drawn (tested for glucose levels and stuff), and I've had 2 ultrasounds, 1 3d ultrasound scan, and 2 transvaginal (dr wanted more pictures than what she got from the first ultrasound). Based on that, my uterus is shaped like a heart- not sure how major the division is but it looks minor to me from what they showed. They printed off a picture for me to see- I might use it as my profile pic after the 17th appointment when I know more of where I stand on things.

That's pretty much all the testings we've had done so far. DH is scheduled to do his second SA on the 19th (which I'm expecting to be the same as the first SA).

 

[raelynn]

Deafgal and Canadian - I'm right there with you with the difficulties with communicating with hubby. This diagnosis has completely shut my hubby down. He doesn't want to talk about it or acknowledge it. He obviously wishes it just wasn't happening and just wants to deal with each step as it comes. I'm really struggling with this because I'm a planner. I want to research the heck out of every possible situation and figure out what our course of action would be in each scenario. I am learning to be very patient to help get my hubby through this. Yesterday, after our appointment, he completely shut down. We went out for dinner and he would hardly even look at me. So...we went bowling He's an awesome bowler so it perked up his ego and took his mind off things and we were able to talk a bit afterwards.

We just have to be patient and very supportive wives. I now feel more like a wife than I have in our two years of marriage. He needs me for once and I just have to figure out how best I can support him during this whole mess. As terrible as this diagnosis is, it is forcing us to lean on each other for support and bringing us closer together in order to get through this.

 

[snd80]

Welcome Sun! Things will get better with time, I promise! We have all been in your shoes before, and we are all much stronger now than we were in the beginning. We are all here for you anytime!!!!!

Rae-Hopefully May will be our month! I am getting sooo flipping excited! We only like $600 more having all the money! Now I just need to get my big butt back in the gym regularly again! Hubby finally opened up to his close buddy about our situation. Maybe he is less ashamed now... IDK but it makes me feel better for him though! His buddy even offered his sperm. LOL! That was sweet of him.

Hope everyone else is doing ok today!

 

[CanadianMaple]

Raelynn- I could write the same post. I am a planner, I had medical background and understand so much of this. He wants to wait and talk to the doctor. He doesn't want to talk it out like I do yet. It's hard. I find that blogging is helping me out. Feel free to read it, I found it helpful to read other people's stories and to see how they processed the diagnosis. https://dealingwithazoospermia.blogspot.com/2011/12/my-first-entry-our-background.html

Snd80- How awesome that you have money saved. We had started saving and had to suddenly buy a fridge. I hope the wait goes quickly for you.

How do you all deal with "advice" people give? I post on a IVF forum and got a well-meaning post from someone who swears that acupuncture and/or working with a naturopath would "fix" DH. Her PM title was "low sperm count" so she obviously didn't understand it. I wanted to lash out, only because it makes me so sad/mad that what we are dealing with is so severe, it can't be fixed. I didn't, but I have no idea how to respond to these people, it automatically makes me feel defensive. I guess I still have a lot of healing to do.

 

[deafgal01]

Canadian- I don't know how we could deal with those advice yet... Maybe just ignore it and remember that every case is different- maybe it worked for her but it might not for you or me.

I agree it's hard especially when we tend to be "planners" and the men tends to be spur of moment deal with it as it comes (kinda like baseball). I don't know what I'm getting at but I'm sure you know what I mean. Best we can do is be supportive of our guys while they deal with it on their terms.

I find it ironic that my man's been cracking jokes left and right (related to dicks). I guess that's his way of coping or something.

 

[snd80]

I will LEARN not to get on FB anymore! I just happen to sneak on there due to boardem at work, and low and behold the nastiest, biggest meth-head whore in this town (who has been in jail for manufacturing meth and had her first child taken away) posted all over that she is pg and due the day before my bday! And I am like "really God, really??!!?" I just don't get it sometimes! Why have we been "chosen" to go through this hell and others he is like "here you go! enjoy!" Blah! I'm going gun shopping when I get off of work to blow off some steam!

 

[CanadianMaple]

Ugh. It's not fair, is it?

I got an email from a friend a few minutes ago. She wanted me to know she's pregnant. She broke the news to me before everyone else, but it hurts. They already have a 1 year old. She 's a good friend and I appreciate her sensitivity, but it hurts. I hate that I am different now and need to be taken aside and have news broken to me first.

 

[deafgal01]

That sucks Canadian. Same to you Snd... It's not fair we're given this lot in life to deal with.

 

[WANBMUM]

Hi ladies, Im really poor at posting, but I read alot and keep up to date with all your stories. We are pretty much going through all the same emotions, it sucks.

I've been feeling really emotional today, more so than any other days. We are finding out on friday, after a year and a half of tests, if they can operate on my OH or if there is no hope of him having biological children, so I am anxious awaiting this
I get home and make a coffee and then I get a phonecall from my friend to tell me she is expecting, she had a baby last year. (in her defence she doesnt know we are going through this)
Why does it always happen when you could really do without it? I sometimes feel that someone is playing really cruel tricks on me.
So is life i guess.

 

[deafgal01]

Wan

 

[CanadianMaple]

There seem to be a lot of us going through a hard time this week.

I think I need to find something I can control. I may start going on the treadmill at night setting little goals. I'm not overweight, but I am about 10lbs heavier than my average, so maybe that will be something that will help me physically and emotionally.

 

[Deb111]

Deafgal and Canadian - I'm right there with you with the difficulties with communicating with hubby. This diagnosis has completely shut my hubby down. He doesn't want to talk about it or acknowledge it. He obviously wishes it just wasn't happening and just wants to deal with each step as it comes. I'm really struggling with this because I'm a planner. I want to research the heck out of every possible situation and figure out what our course of action would be in each scenario. I am learning to be very patient to help get my hubby through this. Yesterday, after our appointment, he completely shut down. We went out for dinner and he would hardly even look at me. So...we went bowling He's an awesome bowler so it perked up his ego and took his mind off things and we were able to talk a bit afterwards.

We just have to be patient and very supportive wives. I now feel more like a wife than I have in our two years of marriage. He needs me for once and I just have to figure out how best I can support him during this whole mess. As terrible as this diagnosis is, it is forcing us to lean on each other for support and bringing us closer together in order to get through this.

I think many of our men have been like this. I always need a back-up plan so that if something goes wrong, I know in my head where we can go next. Hubby is very much, 'why think about it until - or even if - it's necessary. It's not easy. The most I can sometimes get is that if something goes wrong, we will sit down and discuss whatever it may be is going round my head. Some things he has said he wont contemplate, others he says he is open to discussing.

Luckily he has always been pretty open about talking about the diagnosis etc

Sometimes I have to do the 'can we just discuss is for 10 mins and then no more?' - sometimes that works??

I wish we had answers for you, but my advice is to keep researching all you want, and need to - and tell him as much or as little as you feel he is able to deal with right now. It will definitely help to have one of you who has a good basic understanding of this when you go to appointments xx

 

[Deb111]

Ugh. It's not fair, is it?

I got an email from a friend a few minutes ago. She wanted me to know she's pregnant. She broke the news to me before everyone else, but it hurts. They already have a 1 year old. She 's a good friend and I appreciate her sensitivity, but it hurts. I hate that I am different now and need to be taken aside and have news broken to me first.

I'm glad she was sensitive about it. You've hit the nail on the head when you say 'I hate that I'm different now' - it worries me that I will never be the person I was before all this

 

[Deb111]

I will LEARN not to get on FB anymore! I just happen to sneak on there due to boardem at work, and low and behold the nastiest, biggest meth-head whore in this town (who has been in jail for manufacturing meth and had her first child taken away) posted all over that she is pg and due the day before my bday! And I am like "really God, really??!!?" I just don't get it sometimes! Why have we been "chosen" to go through this hell and others he is like "here you go! enjoy!" Blah! I'm going gun shopping when I get off of work to blow off some steam!

It's just not fair

I hope the FB announcement and the gun shopping aren't related?!

 

[Deb111]

Hi ladies, Im really poor at posting, but I read alot and keep up to date with all your stories. We are pretty much going through all the same emotions, it sucks.

I've been feeling really emotional today, more so than any other days. We are finding out on friday, after a year and a half of tests, if they can operate on my OH or if there is no hope of him having biological children, so I am anxious awaiting this
I get home and make a coffee and then I get a phonecall from my friend to tell me she is expecting, she had a baby last year. (in her defence she doesnt know we are going through this)
Why does it always happen when you could really do without it? I sometimes feel that someone is playing really cruel tricks on me.
So is life i guess.

Seems like there are lots of hugs needed in here today

I've added your appointment to the front page hun and will be keeping everything crossed for you xx

 

[Deb111]

I think I need to find something I can control. .

Oohh this used to be my thinking exactly - when an ex of mine dumped me I got so fit and did brilliantly on my diet as it was all I felt I couod be in control of - I don't know why I can't have this attitude to losing weight for the IVF?

It doesn't matter that my BMI is 31 ish as we are going privately but in the NHS it would have to be below 30 - I need to get my **** into gear!

 

[Deb111]

So far we've had- 2 blood tests (to check hormone levels) and 1 SA test done on my DH.

As for me... I've had my blood drawn (tested for glucose levels and stuff), and I've had 2 ultrasounds, 1 3d ultrasound scan, and 2 transvaginal (dr wanted more pictures than what she got from the first ultrasound). Based on that, my uterus is shaped like a heart- not sure how major the division is but it looks minor to me from what they showed. They printed off a picture for me to see- I might use it as my profile pic after the 17th appointment when I know more of where I stand on things.

That's pretty much all the testings we've had done so far. DH is scheduled to do his second SA on the 19th (which I'm expecting to be the same as the first SA).

Right - off the top of my head ...
- make sure you get a note of dh's hormone results (should have checked FSH, LH, testoserone, prolactin)
- make sure they've done a thyroid test too
- they should do a physical examination to check for the vas deferens tube
- make sure you get tests for CF carrier, karyotype and y chromosome microdeletion done

My brain's gone a bit blank - it seems so long ago that we were at this stage and I'm afraid my brain forgets it all when we move onto the next stage, but I'm sure others will add their thought too xx

 

[Deb111]

How do you all deal with "advice" people give? I post on a IVF forum and got a well-meaning post from someone who swears that acupuncture and/or working with a naturopath would "fix" DH. Her PM title was "low sperm count" so she obviously didn't understand it. I wanted to lash out, only because it makes me so sad/mad that what we are dealing with is so severe, it can't be fixed. I didn't, but I have no idea how to respond to these people, it automatically makes me feel defensive. I guess I still have a lot of healing to do.

This might give you some ideas hun. Someone else posted a link to it recently and it really hit home when I read it

https://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/infertility-etiquette.html

 

[WANBMUM]

Aw deb, look at you replying to everyone. Your so good!

How are you and hows your hubby?