Dealing with azoospermia?

[Deb111]

Thanks snd - now I've calmed down about it all, I think I'm leaning to that way of thinking ... what if we had it transferred because the Lister said it was still ok and it didn't work? We'd always wonder if it had been put back at the wring time

I think what's confusing me is The Lister's reaction. If they had just agreed that we'd missed ovulation, then ok, but why are they questioning it?

I am kicking myself that I didn't research it more (but we've got so much other horrible stuff going on right now, my head's all over the place )
- if I had realised the timing of LH surge was so crucial I'd have done opk's myself whether the clinic told me to or not. I thought it was just the fact that they needed to know that I'd actually ovulated, or that the follicle was of a decent enough size to do the trigger shot and force ovulation.

It never occured to me that we'd actually miss it but when you think about it, I thought the day 14 scan was bang on time as my cycles are pretty regular and day 14 would be ovulation day, when in fact, surely they should have been scanning me sat / sun (day 12 / 13) which would have co-indcided with the suspected LH surge and allowed them to trigger ovulation.

I'm damn sure I'll be doing opk's next month if we have to abandon this cycle

 

[snd80]

No doubt! I would start testing the day after AF stops! LOL!

 

[WANBMUM]

Sorry to hear this Deb
Is there any possibility you might not have ov yet?
It's catch 22 for you.
Hopefully you will get the answers/outcome tomorrow that is straight forward.

 

[Deb111]

Sorry to hear this Deb
Is there any possibility you might not have ov yet?
It's catch 22 for you.
Hopefully you will get the answers/outcome tomorrow that is straight forward.

In theory, yes - I have had slightly longer cycles when I've been stressed - and I have been very stresses lately, but the Dr scanning me said there was a collapsed follicle - so what else could it mean?

Don't think I said - when he got me to do the opk - it was negative, but there was a faint second line - now I know that technically that's a negative, but surely it is detecting some LH and therefore either just before or just after the surge?

 

[deafgal01]

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't a collapsed follicle a sign of the eggs already having been released? So that line might have been catching the end of the surge? Therefore it would make sense why they think they missed it. Best to start anew next month with the opk and monitor it?

 

[Deb111]

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't a collapsed follicle a sign of the eggs already having been released? So that line might have been catching the end of the surge? Therefore it would make sense why they think they missed it. Best to start anew next month with the opk and monitor it?

Yes that's what I'm thinking - typed that in wrong order - what I meant is second faint line was picking up something either before or after LH surge which could mean I haven't ovulated, but the dr said the follicle 'looks like' it's collapsed - so that can only mean one thing

 

[deafgal01]

I'm sorry they missed it Deb- but it's better to have done it when they didn't have missed it. How did they miss it anyways?

 

[Deb111]

who knows?! day 14 seems too late for a scan now I understand more, but I'd have thought they'd have known what they were doing

Anyway just done opk and it's neg (asda only had the clearblue digi one and I have to say; I love it!)

 

[Deb111]

MissAma - thinking of you and dh today and hoping all goes really well xx

 

[raelynn]

Deb - I'm with the others. Every embryo is precious in this situation and you wouldn't want to always wonder if it didn't happen because it was passed ovulation. I think in this case, waiting to be sure of the best possible situation would be the better option.

Tiger - I'm so sorry! We all know the stress of this is more than enough. My heart goes out to you!

 

[MissAma]

Tiger - condolences...

Deb - what the hell??? Incompetents...

AFM we're in the waiting room of the clinic and Dara is being pampered by the personnel and the waiting patients alike while daddy is being foraged for hopefully half a baby and mommy is dieing...

 

[KB38]

Tiger, I am so very sorry to hear your news. Life can be so cruel sometimes. Thinking of you xxx

Deb, I agree with what the others have said.

AFM, thank you all so very much for your thoughts about the name issue. This being such an emotional time generally for me, I find it difficult to know whether I am overreacting to things sometimes.

DH and I spoke at length about it last night and DH felt that, as awful as it would be for me (and him - as he is quite affected by it too), we should still go and visit today as we had planned. He said that it was ultimately my call and agrees with me that I am perfectly entitled to distance myself from her forever but, as we have a lot of mutual friends (most of whom don't know we are TTC let alone about the name), he didn't want me to cut myself off from everyone by appearing to behave irrationally.

So I went, saw but didn't hold the baby and came back home. TBH the build up was worse than actually doing it. I dreaded it all day but now that I've been I know that I've done the "right thing" and given her nothing to complain about me for and, when I am a little bit less emotional about it, I can make a decision about what to do. It will never, ever be the same for me and I am pretty sure that I won't ever be spending any time with her alone but because of our mutual friends, I will see her around.

On the positive side, I have learnt a very valuable lesson about what she is really like now....

 

[MissAma]

KB - sounds tough....

The Viking is out of surgery and is recuperating from anesthesia in the clinic and Dara too fell asleep in her pram when she ensured he was still here they got 6 samples on each side but won't tell us if there is actual viable sperm till tomorrow because they want to freeze and thaw first. It will be hell waiting but such is the life of azoospermics -and SB how much longer for you guys? You're so patient!-

 

[raelynn]

MissAma - Glad everything went well. Hoping for some excellent news for you tomorrow!

 

[Deb111]

Well done on the visit KB

Glad all has gone well and hoping for great news tomorow MissAma

AFM, just waiting for a response from the clinic to my email about abandoning the cycle

 

[silverbell]

I'm so glad all went well, MissAma. Yep, still waiting. Likely going to be next week now, apparently. I can't believe how long we are having to wait. It really does make me wish we'd just done it all privately right at the beginning. We're just SICK of waiting, waiting and waiting since his diagnosis.

KB - I'm glad you feel you did the right thing and I completely get what you mean about having realised what sort of a person she is.

Deb - I don't even know what to say. OMG I'm livid for you. I'd have to agree that that embryo is so very precious that it would be best to be absolutely sure prior to transfer or, like you say, you'll always wonder. Unbelievable. I'm so, so sorry, Deb

Tiger - I am sorry to read such sad and upsetting news. You take all the time you need and please accept my condolences.

 

[wibble wobble]

Hi, I am so sorry to hear that so many of you are having such an awful time right now. Can I add my story to the mix as I really need to vent today and please, please give me your honest views...

My best friend, who is the only person other than you guys who knows that DH and I are having issues TTC (and only that much because I didn't want to betray DH's trust), had her baby this morning. It was always going to be a hard day for me because the day she announced her pregnancy was the day that we got DH's diagnosis so, whilst I am very happy for her, it is hard for me to separate the two (irrational I know).

Anyway, about 15 years ago, we were talking about what we would name our babies one day and I told her that I loved a certain name because the first name was my dad's grandmother's name and the middle name was my mother's grandmother's name. She told me that she didn't like that name because it sounded too old fashioned. A few months ago I told her that I still loved the name and that I had been imagining myself with a girl by that name when I was feeling down about not having a baby. She laughed and told me again that it was too old fashioned for her and that she preferred other names.

She told me a few weeks ago that she had picked a name but wouldn't tell me what it was. At the time DH assured me that she wouldn't have taken both of my names. Anyway, guess what, she has! I got an email from her at work today and burst into tears at my desk which was so embarrassing.

I don't know why as I know I can still have the same name if I have a girl and I can't believe that I've reacted so strongly (I never would have thought I would) but I feel like she's taken a little piece of my hope away too. It's not so much the name part but I can't believe she didn't just tell me to my face as, at least if she'd said she liked it, I could have got used to the idea instead of just sending a group email to all of our friends.

I am not sure if I'm being irrational and unfair because of my own issues or if it is really a nasty thing to do...

And now, because DH is friends with her husband, he really wants to visit them tomorrow after work. I'm not too sure I can cope. This is the first time since DH's diagnosis that I have felt like it is all so unfair.

I think you every right to be annoyed at your friend for stealing your name choice. She should have done the decent thing and told you she was thinking of using the name you'd chosen,to like you say given you the chance to get used to the idea... the least she could have done was told you face to face and not lied about it being too old fashioned to think about!!!

 

[wibble wobble]

Aw deb, look at you replying to everyone. Your so good!

How are you and hows your hubby?

I actually had a bit of free time tonight and I find it easier to reply with quotes than trying to remember everyone's news or scroll back!

Honestly, we're not doing great. I'm battling against my depression again and hubby is pretty low right now due to the problems with finding work. Every time someone at one of the agencies sorts him out some long term, regular work, he gets let down for one reason or another It's getting beyond a joke!

I had so much to do today but I've achieved very little. Everything just feels like such an effort and such hard work. I slept til 11 and then had an hour on the sofa this afternoon - feels like I'm swimming against the tide in treacle

I wish I could go back on my meds and I think they'd be happy for me to because there's only a very small risk of congenital heart defects on but I'd never forgive myself if that happened and it was down to me xx

Hope your feeling better soon and that hubby finds some perminant work

 

[wibble wobble]

Hello everyone.

I just wanted to stop by and say hi and send you all but to also add that I might be MIA for a bit. We've had some heart-breaking news, my father has passed away very suddenly and well, we're all in shock really. I lost my mum just under three years ago, it was a long, painful battle against Cancer and in a way, we were prepared, but this has just completely knocked us for six.

As if we don't all have enough to deal with the constant ache for a baby we may never have, we just keep getting hit with one thing after another.

My brother and I have a lot to deal with right now, but I'll try and stop by when I can.

Take care and much love to all,

C xx

So sorry to hear of the passing of your father take care xx

 

[snd80]

Deb- If you decide to wait for the next cycle, do try the digital Clear Blue smiley faced opks! They are sooo much better than trying to read "the lines"...just some food for thought!

Yay MissAma!!!! Hope everything goes ok!

KB- Glad you decided to be the bigger person and visit after all. You are still a better person than I am cause I couldn't have done it!... We live and learn, don't we?