Dear Mr Stork,
I'm writing again, but maybe your post is getting lost and mixed up with Santa's letters or just plain lost. Maybe I forgot the stamp.
But today is the day my baby is due, he was a tiny little mite of a thing, so small you could have held him in one hand and he was ever so good. He was too young, I thank you for him but I miss him. I went into labour far too soon and he didn't make it :/ I feel like I failed, I feel like if I'd have known about him being in me, I would have taken care of myself instead of falling apart over my ex-boyfriend, you've answered his letter. He wanted a baby and he's having one soon, in January, with the girl I said would be pregnant next...I gave her fairy dust but I think, maybe, I should have kept some for myself, I gave her some because she was my best friend. And now, on the day my little boy was due, I sit here with empty arms, longing just to hold him one more time, just to see his face again, so small, so perfect and innocent.
I'm getting better, my body gets more and more ready with each day, the doctors are really nice and helpful and I want them to be involved with my journey into motherhood. I want my fiancé to be with me too, I want to see his face light up by announcing a pregnancy, and not more plans to adopt, as much as we want to, we know we would like a child of our own and I don't think we can even talk about it now. It's raw and it hurts still, but we are so ready to love and give ourselves to parenthood. I've been trying for so long, and my partner now steps on the same path as me now.
Please, we don't want heartbreak this Christmas, it was so hard putting up decorations when I knew I should be struggling to even lift a bauble, knowing that my baby would be in his little Moses basket for his first Christmas.
So please, let our New Year be a happy one and let us have a 'shotgun' wedding, let me be a hormonal mess at the aisle and let us start out family soon.
With love, Metal x