Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[Ruskiegirl]

Cute bumps !!!
Today I have my FSH draw hopefully its all good , AF is slowly making her way gone should be done tomorrow I hope

 

[Allie84]

Hearty, I'm the exact opposite. I want another child but am not sure I want to carry another baby! Well, go through delivery. I'm fine with everything up until labor haha. I will do it again, though, but I'm freaked out from my past experience.

Vicky, so nice to see you. I wish I was spending every weekend at the beach. Hero is getting so big. Are you thinking of TTC again?

Gibs, what a great bump you have! You are looking great!!! I had no idea you were so far along, like Hearty that flew by! I keep thinking you are like 12 weeks or something.

Lucy, looking good! I love your bump! It's certainly grown since I saw you in March.

Sugar, wonderful news. Sit back and relax now. I'm so happy for you.

Ruskie, good luck today.

AFM, I guess I never write about myself on this thread. I'm gearing up for my first 5K next weekend. I've been working out at least 6 days a week, like proper working out (classes at the Y) and I've lost 2 lbs. This is over a month! UGH, I'm so frustrated. I'm cutting out carbs as much as possible and eating lots of protein. I'm honestly getting pissed off. I know I'm insulin resistant. I'm thinking of going back to an endo to look into getting on Metformin. My metabolism is shocking since Alistair has been born. I'm sure the people who read my journal are sick of hearing about it lol. But I'm honestly doing something about it and not just whining (I hate that). Anyways, Alex and I are still in counseling. It's a slow process. He's depressed which makes it hard. We're also at odds over moving. I want to look for jobs elsewhere and move and Alex is afraid or something because he keeps putting obstacles in our way ("not until this..." "not until that....") Anyways, Alistair is great and a wonderful little toddler. He's so incredibly sweet. He loves swimming and being in the pool. It's his new favorite thing. He also loves 'choo choos' and laughing at the dog. Yesterday at counseling he was in the room and when I cried he crawled on my lap and wiped away my tears. I love him so much.

 

[vickyd]

Allie we have decided to ttc around December... Im still not 100% but we think Hero should have a sibling. I havent even begun to imagine how i would cope with 2 and a full time career.... Im trying not to think about it too much lol!

 

[msarkozi]

cute bumps

great news on the scan Sugar!!

Luce, I am ready for sure. I want my body back lol! I am ready for him to be here, so if he wants to come early, he can (I just prefer not until after the 22nd).

Vick - I am guessing it's not going to be easy, but you will get through it I will still be full time as well once I go back to work after the baby (fortunately I get a year off of work though)

 

[Sugarlove2]

Beautiful bump pics ladies, you look fab!

Vicky, how exciting that you're ttc again soon!

Allie, have you had your thyroid tested lately? I think I told you mine is underactive, so I take 100mg levithyroxine to correct it. Took a while for them to get the dose right. In fact, I'm probably being slightly over treated if anything, but I think they prefer it that way. Well done on all the exercise you're doing, I'm sure the weight will soon start falling off.

I'm far fatter and unfitter than I wanted to be at the start of this pregnancy. Although, I'm only a few lb heavier than when I first fell pregnant with Charlotte, I'm defo not as fit and still have a really flabby tummy. I'm really trying not to eat loads, but I'm starving and when I feel empty, the morning sickness is terrible.

 

[Ruskiegirl]

FSH was normal So i guess it is hubby after all but I still think his morphology at 15% normal forms really isn't that bad with his count Hopefully the pre-seed and softcups will help

 

[msarkozi]

good news Ruskie, I hope it helps as well

I had a dr appt today and he said that baby isn't all that big, so that makes me happy. I am guessing around the same size as Kash (7lbs). He doesn't seem to think the baby will come earlier then the 2nd, but time will tell I guess. You never know what these little things plan Everything was good though, and he told me I can stop testing my blood sugars as they are all good - so basically back to I don't have gd.

I can't believe I only have 13 days left! My company is having a big 75th anniversary event this Saturday that I was in charge of planning, and I am really looking forward to it. So until it is over, I won't have time to myself. I am so looking forward to next week and getting some rest.

Tomorrow I need to run out to the office and hand in the project I was working on from home, a coffee date, cleaning house, and preparing for my Epicure party in the evening. Going to be a busy day!! Then Friday I have the morning, and then the afternoon will be prepping for the events. Saturday is the big day I have a magician, bounce houses, face painting, finger painting, petting zoo (with horse and pony rides), a bbq lunch, and carnival food

 

[VGibs]

Yummmmmmm carnival food! Did ya get the mini donuts??? Those would be an epic way to have a "I DONT HAVE GD" celebration!

 

[VGibs]

SO FRUSTRATED.....long story

Spoiler

Ok so...for those of you that have been keeping up with my FB you know that I am in a fight for information with the FRO. The FRO is the Family Responsibility Office. They are in charge of making sure that those people who have custody of their children get the child support that has been court ordered. And they have a lot of enforcement actions to be able to get the money that these children deserve. Well, I found out that I have even more money owed to me then what I previously thought and have been fighting for over a year to get some kind of payment. I have not received a single penny in child support in 16 months. When you work minimum wage that money is very important. And nothing angers me more then seeing my ex with his boat and camper and new truck which he is driving illegally. Knowing full well that he is working and just not bothering to pay anything until we go back to court. A court hearing that he is being forced to attend due to his lack of payment. Well another government provided program is CCTB, they give you a little bit of money every month if you have children to help offset childcare costs and costs of living. The less you make the more you get kind of thing. Well because we made too much money last year I found out this morning that I wouldn't be getting anymore of that either. I had misread the tax files I had prepared. And I can not be eligible again until we file taxes again in March. Which happens to fall on the same month as me being pout off work. When you apply for EI, (unemployment insurance) you only receive 55% of your wage. So I am offcially going to have to live on 1/4 of what I was making. I don't know how I am going to feed my kids. I'm so frustrated and angry.

 

[vickyd]

Virginia i understand your fustration...We have been facing money problems since 2008 when the real estate market crashed and Alex is struggling to keep his office open. For 5 years we have been living 100% on what i make which isnt that much, without any benefits or help from the state. I only took off 3 weeks when Hero was born...I guess what im saying is that you have to find a way to support your children on your own. Clearly you cannot rely on your ex, and if you cant get the benefits only you and ian can provide a solution. Either he has to get a second job or you go back straight to work. Sorry i sound so clinical, thats just me and my experience in life which is you can only rely on yourself.

 

[VGibs]

I've been in that situation before sadly. Where it's only me. I was homeless once, not out on the street homeless, but I couldn't afford housing and had to live with my friend for a few months while I got back on my feet. As for how we have been living,

Spoiler

I've cut out every unnecessary expense and Ian has been looking for another job. Which is insanely hard to find in this area. If I were to go back to work immediately I would be bringing home less money because the child care costs for a newborn are very very high. I think I posted this morning out of sheer frustration. I have been struggling for so long and don't see any way out of it ever. Sometimes it boils over and I get panicked and angry. It's hard not to feel bitter when I've worked so hard and see nothing for it. Then I feel horribly guilty because what I am going through is nothing compared to how hard some people have it, and their own situations. But yes your right Vick, we gotta keep on going and do what we have to in order to survive. I really have very few friends who understand this desperation. Seeing as the two people I would talk to about this...well one gets almost $4000 in child support a month and has a successful business. And the other is a teacher who makes almost $200 a day. Like I said before, I just get angry at how hard it all is sometimes.

 

[vickyd]

Life can seem totaly unfair I know...I look at the group i did my PHd with, 1 works for a big pharma comapny in the states and makes over 200K, the other 2 in the UK one is plant manager and the other head of science at a private school both earning 3 times more than I do. I think sometimes how different my life would be if I had stayed abroad but then i wouldnt have Alex and Hero so it pales in comparison. The situation in Greece is terrible 1 in every 2 familes has at least one person unemplyed and here we only get welfare the first year of unemployment. After that you are fucked.. The solution alot of families have found is one member leaves for work abroad. Would you consider moving somewhere where there are better job prospects?

 

[VGibs]

I've considered it. Well we both have. Ian is Quebecois and where he is from there is a lot more job opportunities for men. But women have very few. He is from a very very small logging town with one main industrial factory. He worked there for 10 years before he moved back to Ontario.
My parents are willing to let us buy into their farm operation. They have a multi-stock farming operation which basically means, they have small amounts of different livestock for gourmet, raw, and cultural food production. *we don't butcher horses btw, my mother takes in rescue horses* It's not very big but if one of us could put ourselves into it full time it could be very profitable. It is a slightly risky step but one that may turn out. Ian has his heart set on this farm. He spends all of his free time there learning the in's and outs. It's our dream, and with this baby coming, I may be in a position to slowly transition into this career path. The bonus about that lifestyle is that it allows for self sustainability. For instance my parents grow all their own food, meat and dairy included. We have talked about it, well probably every single day for two years. We actually have to sit down and make a plan with a financial adviser so we can decide what steps to take next. And, with all that going on, moving may not be our best option, but it might be our only option.

 

[Allie84]

Gibs, that sounds pretty promising. I hope it works out.

I have been where you've been often in my life. Maybe worse, I don't know. I was raised very poor, lived in a housing estate until I was 12, always worried where our next meal would come from. I didn't have a bed for a long time and I slept on sheets on the floor as a teenager. I used a cardboard box with a sheet on it as a night stand. I didn't even realize we were THAT poor, though. It was just life. I would have my dad drop me off a block away from school because our cars were so crappy....and I got a permit to go to a nice school in a nice neighborhood....I just played the part as best I could even while we were pawning my CDs every month for grocery money...

The only way I saw out was education. I did well and got scholarships and went to a good university and studied abroad, etc. And then when I graduated uni I made shitty decisions (like moving up to ND) which hindered my chances to finally be middle class and get a good job.........

Could you go back to school for something you'd really like to do?

Vicky, I hear ya....poor Greece.

 

[VGibs]

Well I have a degree in social work and quickly realized it was NOT at all what I wanted to do. I am taking classes online right now in Organic Fruit Production - Small Scale Model, Native Studies, and Historic Farming Techniques. Which is kind of cool because it allows me to be pregnant and learn from home. I have a complete scholarship program from 2 schools so I can kind of pick and choose what I want to take. But when that runs out I don't think I want to take on a student loan so I will keep working on classes when and if I can afford it.

 

[heart tree]

Gibs, one thing that pisses me off more than anything is a deadbeat dad. I can't wrap my head around the idea of a guy who leaves all of the parenting to the mother. That is no man in my opinion. I would be equally as upset and frustrated. You are clearly very resourceful and will get through this, though it may not feel like it at the moment. I love the idea of the business. Sometimes the hardest situations open doors for change. Maybe this is the kick start you need.

Allie, I'm super impressed with your physical activity. I'm sorry you aren't losing more weight. That is definitely frustrating. Are you counting calories? You may be eating more than you think. Or maybe it is your insulin levels. I'm glad you and Alex are still going to counseling. I wish the effects were immediate. It's great he's addressing his depression. Alistair sounds so lovely. What a great age!

Rusk, good news on the FSH.

Vicky, I can't believe you are going to try for #2, especially when you are 100% sure you want another. I understand wanting a sibling for Hero. I'd love for Delilah to have one too. But man, having to raise another baby sounds daunting.

Loving the bumps ladies! Lucy, so glad to read your update in your journal.

Mel, how awesome that you don't have GD! Sounds like you are one busy preggo! Take a load off soon and relax girl. Not long now!

Sugar, I hope the MS isn't too bad. That's such a horrible pregnancy symptom. Men will never understand.

AFM, not much to report. Delilah will be 1 on Monday. We're having a little party for her tomorrow. I'm making a sugarless banana and blueberry cake for her with sugarless cream cheese frosting. We're ordering pizza (for the adults) and will have some champagne (also for the adults). I'm pretty certain she has a peanut allergy which I'm devastated about. I gave her peanut butter twice a few weeks ago with no reaction. Then I gave it to her a 3rd time and she got a bad rash on her face and a hive on the back of her neck. We're seeing her pediatrician on Tuesday for her 1 year visit and we'll discuss it further. The ped said we can get her tested but that the test gives lots of false positives (I guess they test for other nut allergies as well). She said the test is good when it says there is no allergy, but when it says there is one, there might not be. I still want her tested. I'm terrified of her having a bad reaction to nuts. I can't believe this might be the case. Neither Tim nor I have any food allergies, nor do any of our family members. Will keep you posted.

Hi Amy! See you lurking. I'll let you know how July 7 goes to see if we can meet up.

 

[LucyJ]

Had my 28 week scan yesterday update from journal in spoiler :

Spoiler

Baby is doing really well growth good, strong hb, blood flow through umbilical cord is good Baby weighs 2lb 8 oz. and was very very active unfortunately she or he is in a breech position I was gutted and praying little one returns to being head down as I do not want a C-section and really want to give birth naturally. It really upset me mum and Steve were great the consultant was lovely and not worried about baby being breech despite the fact Benjamin never changed position. The scan lady said baby is very wiggly so still plenty of time for her/him to get in the right position.

I asked about the cervical length and she said they weren't meant to be doing one but after she finished the growth scan she asked if I wanted one and I said yes. She said ok as she didn't want me worrying thank goodness. It was a bit stressful as it took her ages to find the cervix/get the right position but it is really good news as my cervical length has increased from 25mm to 30mm no funnelling or dilation so really happy. The consultant was happy with how things are progressing and I have my next scan at 35 weeks (waiting for an appointment) plus I see the midwife in 4 weeks time. The tested my wee at the hospital no protein found this time but they did find glucose midwife asked if I'd had a cup of tea with sugar/breakfast which I had so she was confident it was down to that.

All in all good news. Didn't get a picture as baby wasn't in a great position for pictures and was so wiggly little monkey.

V that must be so hard for you it makes me so cross when I hear stories like your really hope you get what he owes and starts paying. My brother is in the opposite situation he has a daughter who he had no contact with because of her mother he pays money each month and she still contacted the Csa saying he wasn't paying total lie thankfully he had prove that he sent her money each month. She can claim legal aid but he can't so can't afford to take her to court over access her mum & step dad told him even if he did she wouldnt stick to it or allow him access. It's a long story what went on with them but she is a nasty piece of work. Buying into the farm sounds like a good thing it's scary doing something that could be risky really hope it works out for you.

Vicky that's exciting your ttc for no. 2 just follow my plan which is denial when I think about having 2 its quite scary but figure it can't be as scary as I imagine and I dont have a full time job to think about like you. Having a sibling for Hero will be lovely and when it happens you will cope.

Allie how are you? I've been having trouble posting in your journal no idea why will try again later but I have been reading.

Amber hope you had a good birthday I know it must of been hard without your mum but I am sure she was watching over you.

Rusk that's good news.

Mel wow not long to go can't wait to here if the safe arrival if your little boy. Good news on the GD hope your 75th anniversary event goes well.

Sugar how are you?

Thanks Amanda oh my goodness how had a yr gone by cant believe your little girl will be 1 on Monday hope you have a wonderful time celebrating.

 

[VGibs]

More dead beat Dad rant...

Spoiler

Thanks guys for the support. The thing that really gets to me about the whole situation is that the reason he stopped making the payments was because he "started his own business". His wife doesn't work, and he supports the child she had before they met. So then he has this bright idea that he is going to start a business. He couldn't afford to pay for the child he already had, and then he wanted to risk not being able to support his entire family all together. In his words he said "I had to shoot for my dreams. I had to go for what I wanted." This sentence haunts me. All I can think is 'Well I already had to pay back the $26,000 you spent in cocaine and booze. So I had "cancel" all my dreams and hopes to take 3 low wage jobs.' Not to mention all of the things my child has wanted to do and see over the years that I couldn't financially provide for her because I was busy paying off all the money he spent in my name. The reason I always spout off about it on FB is because we have mutual friends and sometimes after realizing what a dirtbag he is, they offer me relevant information for my case. I get a lot of flack for it as well. I get women who have never been in position say that I post my personal garbage, and that airing my dirty laundry makes me look bitter and sad. *actual words by people that used to be on my FB* And then I get the opposite, women who have never seen any kind of child support tell me I'm lucky that he is only 16 months in arrears because they haven't seen money in years. I also get the inevitable "Well you should never had kids with him." I guarantee when I was 20 years old I never imagined that I would ever be in this position. Sometimes I just want someone to say "Oh honey, that sucks" ya know?

 

[msarkozi]

That sucks Gibs. One of my friends at work has been fighting with her ex for many many years now for the child support he owes as well. The kids are 18 and soon to be 16, and she has been on her own with them for almost their whole lives. He has remarried and she harasses the kids and mother non stop, and he started his own company and supports his new wife and her kid, and doesn't have much to do with his kids nor pay his child support. My friend keeps filing with the courts. It's a painful process for anyone that has to go through it, and it really shouldn't have to be the struggle that it is.

Hearty, I hope Delilah's party went well. That sucks about the possible allergy; hopefully it's not one though. I was so terrified of trying peanut butter, but I lucked out and Kash wasn't allergic. I will be requesting him to get allergy testing done once he is 3 (as that is when they will do it here), so I have peace of mind. I have a feeling he does have allergies, so I just want to find out for sure.

Luce, great news about the scan!

Allie, take measurements!! This is more important then weighing yourself. You are probably losing inches. I have gotten so frustrated time and time again because the scale wouldn't be budging, but I was actually losing inches. I use MyFitnessPal as well, and I also use a FitBit. MyFitnessPal is awesome and will help you stay within your calorie range. You also have to make sure you are getting enough calories, because if your body thinks it is in starvation mode, then it is going to hang onto those fat cells and you won't lose anything.

Well our event went very well yesterday. It was 35 degrees or hotter out, so that was not that great lol! My feet were so swollen by the time I got home, and I was just done. Thought I was going into labour at 6:00 this morning as I was having tightenings, but it stopped by 7:00 and I was able to go back to sleep for a bit. We decided to risk it and went out to the lake today (44km drive on a gravel road), but it was worth it. Kash had so much fun out there, and it felt great to put my feet in the water in this heat! We got home from the lake and have been suffering in the heat since, so I ordered us an air conditioner - can't wait!!!

It's hard to believe that we are in single digits now until little Riley is here in our arms. This is our last week as a family of 3.

 

[VGibs]

Mel - it's wild that its so hot eh? It's supposed to feel like 32-35 here this week and rain the whole time. Glad you aren't being flooded out though, it's so scary seeing all of that happen. It could so easily happen where I live as well.


So ladies I have a funny question. Everyone gets big sore boobies in first tri...well for some weird reason I have mutant boobs and they have started growing out of control. And they hurt so bad! I didn't think this happened in 2 tri. I can't really afford a new bra and size G is hard to come by so I have been looking like a porn star lately. I hope the boobs start behaving!