Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[LucyJ]

Oh Nato I am so sorry what a awful situation to be in I wish I had some advice that would help but honestly don't know what to suggest for the best. The ex sounds crazy and if she's getting your dad to sign things now when he's so ill that isn't right is there anyway you can put steps into stop that I guess it whether he is of sound mind or not I know my dad had to get power of attorney when his parents were ill (neither were of sound mind though) to stop his brother & his now exwife getting them to change their will. They both had power of attorney along with their parents solicitor so nothing could happen with out all of then authorising it. Your dad's solicitor being the ex's as well does sound like a bit of a conflict of interest. What you need is support from your Uncle not him and your sister pulling you this way and that way.

The ex sounds very scary and I am so sorry she's treating you this way and made you stay. Wills and tax are so complicated and inheritance tax is horrific I remember my dad having to deal with it. The ex doesn't sound very reasonable but could you sit down with your uncle and sister and say you just want to be there for your dad you don't need all this extra crap you'll support (if that's what you want to do) but you don't want to be a part of it.

Is there anyone you can turn to for support? either within the family or outside you know we are all here for you. I wish I could do more to help. Amanda's right will's/inheritance can bring out the worse in people which is so sad as its a time when you should all come together. Can you get home this weekend I think you need some time away although I understand you don't want to be away from your dad or could John & Eloise come to you?

Massive

 

[LucyJ]

Amanda Benjamin used to be really suspicious of people with beards he's much better now thank goodness as his granddad has one (Steve's dad) but he still cries when he sees my middle brother have no idea why he does have a goatee and longer hair but there doesn't seem to be any reason for it.

That's great Delilah is doing so well and caught up with her full term peers I still worry about Benjamin's weight he is still little but has grown and looks the same size as one of his friends who's the same age so not worried about his height but he is happy healthy little boy so I shouldn't worry he is also so active I think just burns it all off.

Love the pictures she's beautiful how were you on her birthday I was a wreck at Benjamin's so emotional

Yes you did see I'd fainted it took me by surprise so I hit the floor quite hard but I'm ok my back suffered more than anything that and Steve's stress levels poor guy I do put it him through it sometimes. I've been a little wobbly but doing ok think it was my blood pressure and I hadn't drunk as much water as I should of so that didn't help. Well we decided to go and have a chat with the estate agent and have accepted the offer think it was the right decision we have a good offer and a couple who can wait for us which is important we decided it would of be awful to decline the offer then find a house we wanted and not be able to proceed or have to accept a lower offer on our house just to get a sale through. I do like its going to a couple and first time buyers it is a lovely little house. So now we have to find somewhere we wont move unless we find the right place. There's not a lot on the market in our price range (some lovely houses just out of budget which is always the way) which is frustrating but we are seeing a house on sat afternoon so who knows that might be the one I'm not holding out much hope as it seems to have an odd layout but we will see.

Mel hope you cool down soon I should send you some of our weather its gone very windy and wet here since yesterday afternoon.

 

[msarkozi]

lovely pictures of the birthday beauty

that's great Luce. I hope you guys are able to find a house you like. It always seems to be the ones out of price range that you like best. Hope the one on Saturday is a keeper

 

[Sugarlove2]

Love the pics Hearty, especially the first

Lucy that's exciting about your house!

Nato so sorry you are having to deal with this shit. Your Dad's ex sounds like an absolute nutter! It's disgraceful that they are behaving like this, when your Dad has so little time left. I don't have much advise really, but I hope you can all pull together and the ex comes to her senses x

 

[Allie84]

Oh, Nato, I am so sorry!! I feel so awful for you. I can only imagine what you're going through. I was telling Alex about it and he feels awful, too. Like Hearty, I'm a bit confused by what is going on. How can the ex keep you up there? It must be awful being away from John and Eloise. I'm sure having them there would be a huge support. I know you didn't want to put Eloise through anything, but maybe her and John can come and stay in a hotel for a few days or something just to be there for you. It might help clear your head to step away from the situation even for a few hours.

No matter what, no ex or no will or whatever....this time would still be horrible. I think it sounds like some of your family are fixating on this, perhaps to avoid facing your dad's actual death. It makes sense to me. People like to find a reason to feel indignation, or anger, to help offset the grief settling in. No one is really acting in their right minds, though it sounds like the ex is a huge pain and not a nice person.

I think you maybe need to remove yourself from the squabbles if you can. Focus on your dad and your daughter and your husband if you can.

We are here for you.

 

[Allie84]

Hearty, awwww love the pics! What a beauty! Alistair was like that around 12 months....didn't like beards or hats. What can you do? Bless her. She is such a beauty. I'm sure she was spoiled with love. Happy Birthday, Delilah! So, why are you testing her for nut allergies? Family history?

Lucy, yay!!! I'm so excited you accepted the offer. I hope you like the house on Saturday. I hope you find someplace you love soon. Enjoy the house hunting. You've made me want to watch Location Location Location. I miss that show and Kirstie and Phil......

 

[LucyJ]

I've become obsessed with watching location location location and I've been watching Phil Specter secret agent it's brilliant he helps people sell their houses when they have been on the market for ages the tells them things they can do gives them a week to do it then arranges an open house for people to look at the property.

Thanks Mel Im sure the right house is out there. How are you feeling? Not long to go now so excited for you.

 

[NatoPMT]

Love the pics of Delilah! The last one is my favourite, she looks so much like you

The situation is very confusing, and has moved on today into new confusing territory but I have decided to take myself out of it. My sister wants me to go back up north to discuss things with dad (there is now other (new) family questioning his ownership of the same flat) but I have refused. The ex is intimidating me into staying, she literally stood in my way on Wednesday, she's panicking as dad has had 2 falls and cant express she needs help, so communicates it as we arent doing our bit so need to pull our socks up. I have been there every week for 8 weeks now. My sister has been there even longer than I have.

On Tuesday, she had humiliated dad over the commode (she shouted at me that i should change it when dad didnt want me to, its embarrassing for him) - I was really upset about that and was worrying she wasnt washing him, hurting him when turning him etc. It started with her being really rude as usual on wednesday, barking at us in front of dad, we had enough because this had gone on for weeks and the commode incident was the final straw because I felt she had humiliated dad.

We asked to speak to her outside because when she was barking at us, dad was asking her to stop - we had spent weeks pacifying her and it reached critical point. she pushed past us into the hall, so i shut the door to the living room so dad couldnt hear - she then pushed me for shutting the door saying she wanted to dad to hear.

She then blocked my way when i tried to leave. In the argument she called me a nasty bitch because i said that she had gone too far and was now embarrassing dad. After she apologised later, she said that i couldnt leave the house until Marie Curie started, so every night one of us had to be there as well as her. I arranged for my uncle to stay the nights over the weekend.

sorry for not replying to everyones news, i dont have time at the mo

Allie, john has to go to work
Luce - there is NO ONE who we can trust now. We cant even trust dad's solicitor, he has pretty much said he is working in Gill's favour. Even over dad's wishes (her leaving his property for eg, which he told dad he would refuse to evict her if he asked him to, which he hadnt anyway)
Hearty - dont have time to even think about MILs shit, john is being very supportive

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Bloody hell that's awful NATO, so sorry you're having to go through this, what a vile women, I just hope it's all sorted, feel so sorry for you, as if seeing your dad go through this isn't bad enough!

 

[vickyd]

Nato sorry I cant reply properly as still o
on phone.. Agree completely with ur decision to keep awayfrom
Drama. Thinking of u

 

[hoping:)]

Nato I can't believe this is happening Since she is his ex how does she have so much control? Why is she even there? I don't know what to say... it's hard enough knowing these are your dad's last days without all of the added stress. She sounds like a vile woman.

Amanda- loved th birthday pics on face book and on the thread! She gets cuter every day.

Hi everyone!

 

[heart tree]

Nato, is Marie Curie hospice care? I was going to suggest that he should be getting hospice at this point to ease the burden of care that you, your sister and the hideous ex have to provide. You shouldn't have to help him on the commode. It is too personal. She sounds overwhelmed by the situation as anyone would be. She's gone about it all wrong though. Instead of kindly asking for help, she's pushed people (including your dad) to their limits. That doesn't do anyone any good.

I think you did the right thing in refusing to participate in this anymore. The image that keeps appearing in my brain is of a pool of piranha in a frenzy over some fresh food. You don't need to participate in the frenzy.

I'm just so sorry this is what you are having to think about right now. As awful as dying is, the process should at least be dignified with peace.

 

[heart tree]

Allie, Delilah had a bad reaction last week to peanut butter on her 3rd exposure. The doc agreed with me that she should be tested. No family history. Boo hoo.

Lucy, congrats on making the decision about the house! Scary but exciting too! Oh poor you and the fainting. I'm sure Steve is beside himself with worry. What's Location Location Location? Is it like House Hunters? Allie should be able to answer this. If so, I love shows like that!

 

[Sugarlove2]

Hi ladies just a quick update. Been for my scan and everything looks perfect. Baby measuring just 1 day behind now at 8 weeks + 6. Was having a good wriggle and kick and heartbeat nice and fast. So relieved.
Hope everyone is well

 

[heart tree]

That is LOVELY news Sugar! I'm thrilled for you. I can't believe you are almost 9 weeks! I feel like you just found out your were pregnant. You probably don't feel like it's been going as fast I bet. Happy, healthy 9 months to you!

 

[Sugarlove2]

Thanks Hearty. It's totally dragging by, but it did last time until the 12 week mark. Charlotte whinged through the whole scan and Mal had to take her out. Obviously making her feelings about the new baby clear

 

[heart tree]

She'll come around. She has to!

Will you be brave enough for a ticker? I think one is in order.

 

[hoping:)]

Awesome news, Sugar! So happy for you

 

[Sugarlove2]

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[Sugarlove2]

Ok, struggling to do my ticker. Will have to get Mal to do it later. IT is really not my thing!