Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[vickyd]

Hearty nothing really has changed but I too think she might be needing more time with me...I have read that toddlers of working mothers act up since the parents dont spend enough time with them. On the other hand my best friend who doesnt work also went through this and she swears by daycare. As soon as she enrolled him, he was a different kid within a week. I honestly cannot cut back on work at all, we live on what i make and i need to put in the extra hours so i can secure my bonuses...I dont know when or if Alex's work situation will improve with this god damn crisis thats already been going on for 5 years. 50% of people under 40 are unemployed and now they will be closing down government institutions and there are expected another 30,000 job cuts just from the public service. So i dont realisticly see the real estate market picking up anytime soon...
The funny thing is that Hero is a saint with older kids and girls in general. Its the younger boys she looses it with. I dont get it, its not like she has a a new baby boy brother or something! We do spend every weekend at my MIL's beach house where my SIL also is with her son who is 15 months old. They get on super and she hasnt hit him once. Its just so random that I dont know how to deal with it.

 

[VGibs]

Yes we did speak. He doesn't understand how tired and drained I am, and how awful I've been feeling. He seems to have a hard time feeling sympathy for anyone but himself. He sees it like I stay home and play all day and he is the one who does all the work. So he doesn't understand what I have to be tired of. I have been keeping my distance because I know if he says one wrong thing I'm going to snap and scream and say something I regret. He was trying to give me a hand tonight by doing laundry but he got mad because I had an empty detergent bottle on top of the washer and started complaining about it so I just tried to go to sleep and excuse myself from the whole situation.

 

[vickyd]

Gibs i would ask him point blank, why if he has such a hard time with you staying at home did he want another baby? What did he expect that you could magically be at work and at home taking care of the baby considering that you have no help or cannot afford a nanny?? He must realise that both working and raising kids are equally tough..I dont get his way of thinking at all....I could understand if he stopped wanting kids after Meme but now it just seems like he is fickle. You both agreed to a big family, you both need to make the sacrificies. You could offer to let him stay at home and you go out for work if that suits him better.

 

[LucyJ]

Congratulations Mel he is gorgeous hope you are both doing well and Kash is enjoying being a big brother.

Dazed lovely to see you.

Sparkly you are doing a great job with your girlies keep going lovely thinking of you and your girls.

V that's rough you poor thing I'm sorry Ian has not been understanding hope you guys can talk and things will be better. Hope you feel better soon.

Sugar how are you doing?

Vicky I haven't been through it with Benjamin it does sound like its a phase I think you are doing all the right things to deal with it. She hasn't been pushed over by a little boy at the park? The one thing that sprung to mind is my friends little boy starting trying to bite other children at nursery never did it at home or with any children outside of the nursery setting and it turned out it had stemmed from a little boy biting him I'm pretty sure they stopped it happening now. He sometimes will push Benjamin but not to push him normally he's trying to stroke him or touch him and is just a little rough still. I would of said maybe she not used to younger ones but it sounds like that's not the case. Just keep doing what your doing be consistent and I'm sure she'll come through it.

Nato thinking of you

AFM: we've had a rough few nights with Benjamin waking and being distressed as Im not sleeping well anyway its been hard have felt wiped out last few days but luckily he slept through last night so apart from me having to get up to pee a lot I managed some sleep not a lot but more than I've been getting. I had a dreadful night fri from about 9pm to 3am I had the worst pains felt like my tummy was being ripped over no idea what exactly it was but I think baby is in a head down position so wonder whether it was my little monkey turning fingers crossed. I have my next scan on the 9th Aug I'll be 35 weeks then. cant believe I'll be 30 weeks tomorrow and my baby boy is going to be 2 in a few short weeks.

 

[vickyd]

Luce lets hope bean has moved head down! I think there are some exercises that are supposed to help the baby move head down, I remember reading and doing them like crazy with Hero who was breech all along.

 

[LucyJ]

Yeah I did lots with Benjamin too as like hero he was breech for most of my pregnancy. Im nervous of doing any this time round (as much as I want baby to move) as Benjamin had the cord round his neck when he was delivered the surgeon said he wouldn't of been anything other than a breech baby. I remember feeling like he was trying to turn but it always felt like he could only get so far then come back to what was comfortable for him.

I see my acupunctureist and midwife weirdly on the same day in 2 weeks so will speak to them see.

My bump feels different so who knows.

 

[msarkozi]

Hero is going through a stage, and it will stop. You just have to keep after her and let her know that hitting hurts and redirect her attention to something else. It will stop though.

Sparkly, so glad the twins are doing good!

I haven't properly read everything, sorry!

I got home from the hospital today and everyone is doing good. I am quite sore, and not enjoying having staples instead of stitches, but at least they come out on monday, thank god! Kash doesn't really care right now, so that is good. In his world, nothing has changed for him. He ran up to me though when we got home and was mommy mommy, lifted up my shirt and says where's Riley? lol!

Riley gave us a huge scare Tuesday morning, but thankfully everything turned out ok. I had to be at the hospital for 6:00 am for prep and paper work, and so they took me to the day surgery room. They got me to change, and then they inserted the iv, and then the catheter....then they strapped on the machine to me to monitor baby. We were going through all the paper work and everything, and the alarm went a couple times on the machine because his hb was dropping. So she put a wedge under my one side to take some pressure off of baby and all was fine. It was almost time for surgery, and the machine was alarming. The nurses ran to grab the doctors, and they came in and they were checking my pulse and trying to find the babies heartbeat. It was barely there! I was started to get scared and get some tears as the doctor said we had to go right now. He called for help from another doctor as well to assist.

So we are in the OR and I had the spinal tap and the dr was already starting as they were working to get everything else set up and Gord into the room. I was crying and Gord was being strong for me. Thankfully it was all quick and one of the other doctors told me they found him and I felt him being pulled and heard the longs. Biggest cries of relief!!!

The cord was wrapped around the neck, so he thinks that is why we had an emergency all of a sudden. Thankfully it happened right when it did, and surgery day. If it wasn't surgery day, I don't think Riley would be here. When the doctor came and checked on me that night, he said to Riley I outta spank you for scaring me. He said he was so nervous and had no idea what to expect when he found Riley. I definitely had a miracle that day!

 

[heart tree]

OMG Mel!!! That is so scary! What a story. You can definitely hold this one over Riley's head when he's a teenager and not behaving. Massive congrats for a healthy delivery and baby. He is adorable. I loved the video with all of his newborn squeaks. Soooo cute!

Hi to everyone else. It's a holiday for us so I'm getting ready to run out the door to a BBQ. Will respond to other posts later. xo

 

[Round2]

Oh Mel, what a story! So happy everything turned out okay. Congrats! Post some pics so we can all see him!

Vicky, yikes! What a phase to go through. Been through temper tantrums, but not physical aggression. I'm sure like everything though, it will pass. Just be persistent and consistent with your discipline.

Nato, thinking about you constantly!! All my love to you!!

Lucy, I bet that was the baby turning. Can't beleive how far you are!

Sparkly, can't wait to see those girls of yours.

AFM, been a busy couple of weeks. Both kids are home now. On first day of summer vacation we found out my hubby's grandmother died. It wasn't terribly shocking to us as she was was 92 and not doing well, but Maddy took it very hard. It was her first experience with death and it was a more difficult thing to deal with than I thought. She insisted on attending the funeral and wake, despite my reservations. However, she managed quite well, but it was a very emotional and draining thing to go through for all of us mostly because we've had to explain and prepare Maddy for every step. She's had some really good, but very difficult questions. Definately a parenting first for me.

 

[LucyJ]

Mel how scary for you so pleased to hear little man arrived safely and you are both doing well. He is gorgeous must be lovely to be home.

Amanda enjoy your bbq.

Round so sorry to hear about your hubbys grandmother that must of been so hard for Maddy to deal with. Dealing with death with children is such a hard topic I had to do it with my class of children when I was teaching not an easy topic at all they have so many questions they were only 4 and 5 year olds its scary how many had been through a death in the family one little boys dad had committed suicide and had a little girl who's mum had had a still born so tragic one of the reason we were having to deal with the subject of death as not something you'd normally be talking to 4/5 year olds about. Hope Maddys doing ok and you have a great summer hols together. Not easy for you or hubby either. Massive to you all.

Afm: well I'm packing well attempting to we're going to my parents for the weekend Steve's finishing of their loft we've picked the worst weekend as its going to be very hot which I'm not looking forward too heat and pregnancy not a good combination on top of that my hay fever is really bad which sucks but never mind. I am 30 weeks today wow it's crazy especially when I think about the fact Benjamin came at 36 weeks!! My baby boy is 23 months today need to organise his birthday not sure exactly what we are doing but will include a trip to the zoo just the 3 of us the sat before his birthday then probably a little party for his friends on the sun then his actual birthday is a Monday my mum & dad are coming down sadly they cant come for the weekend as they've got my brother and his family staying with them as my brother is doing a race in London on the Sunday. Steve is so busy with work he cant take the day of which is a bit sad but hopefully he will finish early.

 

[msarkozi]

Thanks! I will definitely upload some pictures in the next couple of days. I just wanted to get online quickly and file my maternity with the government while I had the chance....takes so long to get paid from them, and I don't really want to delay it any longer then I have to lol!

Almost there Luce!

Sorry to hear about that Round

 

[Ruskiegirl]

What do you ladies think ? The bottom one is from this morning with FMU and the one above is from before bed last night . I am picking up a pack of frer today
https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h91/Bmxfreestylegirl/SAM_0887_zpsa5b81c2a.jpg

 

[Sugarlove2]

Ruskie I think I see a shadow of a line on the last one, but hard to tell on my phone. Fingers crossed for you!

Mel how are you and Riley doing? Your birth story sounds terrifying!

Vicky, sorry to hear Hero is playing up a bit. Is she any better? No experience of this I'm afraid, apart from Charlotte occasionally smacking me in the face.

Rounders sorry to hear about Maddy's gran


Lucy, I can't believe you're over 30 weeks preggers already and also planning Benjamin's 2nd bday.

Nato thinking of you poppet x

Hi to Hearty, V, Allie and anyone else I've missed

Afm I'm being my usual basket cased self. Been getting really strong pains on and off for the last 6 days. Midwife says they are normal, but I'm still freaking out. Have also stopped necking back the ginger ale, which I've been going berserk about the last 6 weeks and now don't want it. Seeing this as a bad omen. Wish I could just relax and actually enjoy pregnancy. My 12 week scan on the 22nd can't come soon enough

 

[vickyd]

Ruskie I cant really see it hun...Im a bad line spotter though as i never tested as much as the other girls..I always went straight to bloods lol!

Sugar what can i say? I wouldnt be enjoying the pregnancy either, im the worlds biggest worrier so i have no words of wisdom...My assistant is 15 weeks pregnant and im more worried about her pregnancy than she is. The day of her nuchal fold testing i called her 3 times (while she was still being scanned) i was that worried!

Hero i dare to say is a bit better behaved. She still will try and push about 50% of the younger boys but if they engage her she will stop and play with them. I think she is fustrated that the older kids play with her for about 5 minutes then run off and do their thing, while the kids younger or her age (the majority at least) still are in the play alone phase. Yesterday after work i picked her up and took her to the beach, where this 4 year old boy really took a liking to her and they played really well together for 2 hours!! So does my fustration theory make sense? If she was aggressive wouldn't she be with all the kids?Also my mom told me that today at the national park there was a summer camp outing woth 30 odd kids 4-6 and she ran over and sat with them and was actively participating in all the games.

On another sad note i did my taxes and have to pay double then what i did last year even though our income has shrunk by 10%...

 

[msarkozi]

ugh seriously Vick?! That sucks big time! The government is auditing me right now from mine, questionning my northern residency. This is about the 5th time in the last 9 years they have done this to me, and I have lived in the same damn place since 1986!! It's getting annoying.

Sugar, I hope your scan comes quickly!! It's so hard to try and ignore everything we feel, but I am sure everything is ok with that little bean.

Ruskie, did you test with the frer?

Riley and I are doing good. We are slowly getting into a routine. He rarely ever cries (only the odd time during feeding if he doesn't latch on right away). He sleeps wonderfully and will go 5 hours at times between feeds (especially during the night, which is nice).

We were doing newborn pictures on Saturday but he didn't want to cooperate much, so we went back this morning again to finish and they went much better. I have 3 pictures from the Saturday one that I will upload. (or maybe not...it doesn't want to seem to upload them)

 

[msarkozi]

some pictures

 

[heart tree]

Sorry I haven't been around girls. Delilah had a bad stomach bug for several days and was puking at night. We weren't getting much sleep and I was trying to pack for our 6 week vacation. Luckily she was a gem on the plane and is feeling better, though she still doesn't have much of an appetite. I'm at a loss about what to feed her!

Ruskie, on my phone I think I see something on the last one. Keep us posted and good luck.

Vicky, I think that theory sounds right. Kids can definitely have behavioral issues when they are faced with a developmental shift. If she's ready to start playing with kids who aren't ready themselves, it would make sense that she's frustrated. What crap about your taxes! Can you afford it?

Sugar I don't envy you. PAL is so hard! I'm sure all is fine but I'd be a nervous wreck. I thought I was going to lose my shit waiting for the results of my NT scan and blood work. I honestly don't know how Delilah isn't deformed in some way from the anxiety that was pumping through my veins. Roll on July 22!

Mel, more pics please. He sounds like a dream newborn. How is Kash adjusting?

Lucy, wow to how far along you are! I need to peek in your journal soon to catch up.

Hi to my other lovlies.

Nato, if you are reading I'm sending love. I think your dad might have passed based on your FB posting. I hope you are managing to get through the days.

At my in laws house right now. MIL is having a big party tomorrow night for her 50th wedding anniversary. She scheduled it for 6pm and is expecting Delilah to be there for a few hours! We keep telling her that Delilah will be a wreck if we try to keep her awake that long. She isn't listening. Luckily there is a 2 hour time difference from California and I'm trying to keep her on CA time so that she can go to bed a little later. So far so good. But if she wakes up early tomorrow morning, she's going to need to go to bed early too. I've already told Tim I'm leaving the party early if I have to. MIL had the chance to make this party earlier and didn't. It's also formal, with assigned seating and a sit down dinner! How does she expect me to do this with a tired 1 year old? Dumb. We also have an early flight the next morning, so keeping the baby up is not an option. It should be interesting to say the least!

 

[heart tree]

Mel we posted at the same time! He's delicious! I love the one of the two brothers. So cute!!

 

[Ruskiegirl]

some pictures

He is beautiful hun !
Going to test with the frer in the morning if another line pops up on the ic

 

[vickyd]

Mel what a sweetheart!! How lucky are you that he already sleeping so great!

Hearty haha!! Formal dinner with a toddler is SUCH a good idea, thumbs up for your MIL hahah!!!!
We also as a family went through a terrible tummy bug, Hero was only off for about 24 hours but i was sick as a dog for 3 days. The upside is that i lost 2.5 Kg! If it had lasted a few more days it would have been ace..haha!!

Im pretty angry about the tax shite, I can afford it but i was planning to use the money to buy Hero a new bed that she will be able to use until she moves out haha!! I guess ill just put down the rails to her cot and hope she doesnt fall out every night. Im trying not to stress so much about stuff like money and savings anymore, Alex's best friend's cousin was diagnosed with multiple brain tumors (38 years old) and given a few months to live. Its so pointless to worry about money and material things when life can be cut so short. This is the new embrace life attitude im working on.