Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

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OMG Caz, I am soooo sorry. :( I just can't believe it! It's so unfair. :cry: I'm glad you have your OH there with you. Please don't feel bad about crying and letting it all out, go ahead and scream, you do get attached from the moment you see those lines. :( Sassy is right ,you will find the strenghth, in the meantime let yourself grieve, I am so so very sorry. I wish I could give you most massive hug in the world right now......
 
cazza22 said:
that makes me feel even more of a failure & even less of a woman with a womb that Wont work for fucks sakes!! Omg I want to scream so bad and curl up in a ball and not move forever. What am I going to do how on earth am I going to keep going with ttc I don't think I have anything left to giv girls x
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FFS!!! Oh my god Cazza babe. NOOOOOO!!!!! I don't understand this. No, this should not be happening. I'm so very saddened and sorry for you sweetheart. I have the same feeling you do about feeling like less of a woman. I've basically been told I have a deformed womb. I don't know how to keep going either. It feels like pieces of myself keep being taken away from me. Soon there will be nothing left. I don't know how to keep going babe. I think our desire for a babe keeps us going, but in this moment, you don't need to think to the future. You don't need to make any decisions. Just get through today. That's all you can do for right now. One step at a time. I'll be holding your hand. We can walk through this together. Love you.
 
I wish I could come hug you right now, Caz! I'm so angry that this could happen to you again!! :hugs: I wish there was something I could say or do!
 
Thank you for all ur messages girls I've booked in to see my GP tomorrow I'm going to demand help, tbh I don't have the energy for more tests but I know I have to. I'm still in the WHY ME phase at the minute girls n feeling sorry for myself. I'm gonna have an afternoon with sex and the city boxset curled up in bed, hopefully samantha will cheer me up because I know nothing in reality will!. Thanks again for all ur support I lov u all so much xxxx
 
I think thats a good idea to see your dr and demand some support and help, you need some answers. Your bound to feel why me it is totally unfair and it brakes my heart your going through this. Give yourself time and allow yourself to grieve. An afternoon doing nothing and lossing yourself in sex and the city is a good idea.

We're here for you and will be thinking of you.

Love you loads xx
 
Thanks Luce :hugs:. I'm just worried that because I was only 5 weeks they won't even class this as a loss? It's actually just another chemical? The thought of even talking about all these losses makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomach, how can all my results come babk normal when I'm soooo obviously not normal?? If I was I'd be sittin here surrounded by children right now!!! Sorry for the rant Hun I'm just so angry :cry:. I hope u are ok huny I can't wait to see ur bump grow. U'll make a fab mum x


Hearty I've just read ur message from yesterday & burst into tears :cry: u always say the right thing. I'm sorry ur going through hell aswell babes I wish this could be deleted from all our lives & we could fast forward to having 9 month bumps & moaning about stretch marks instead of all this shit! Take time to get ur head straight babe n come back soon. I'll miss u so much hearts xxxx lov you Dollxxx
 
I hope your doing ok Cazza, Sex in the city will definately make you smile even if its only for a minute. Don't let your GP fob you off, DEMAND more testing hunny, have you still got an open appointment with your consultant?xxxxx
 
Thanks Luce . I'm just worried that because I was only 5 weeks they won't even class this as a loss? It's actually just another chemical? The thought of even talking about all these losses makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomach, how can all my results come babk normal when I'm soooo obviously not normal?? If I was I'd be sittin here surrounded by children right now!!! Sorry for the rant Hun I'm just so angry . I hope u are ok huny I can't wait to see ur bump grow. U'll make a fab mum x
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You got a poaitive test your period was late so it does count as a lost and the dr's should do something sassy is right demand for more testing and dont leave untill you get somewhere. Your bound to feel so many things and anger is one of those emotions and you have every right to feel it rant away sweeite I'm here for you. Thank you I'm doing ok your so sweet. I know you will be an amazing mum and I'm sure it will happen for you just hope you dont have to go through anymore heartache so wish I could take the pain away for you. :hugs::hugs:
 
Cazz I am so so sorry for your loss. It will still be counted as a mc hun my last one was just over five weeks and my specialist said it was still a loss. Have u been tested for nk cells cazz? All my tets would have been normal had I not had that one done and I wouud never have known why I have lost four in a year. I can relate to everything u say and u must cry and scream and feel all these things ur feeling. You will find thee strength again tho sweetie it will come from somewhere, but give urself. Time to grieve.

Sending u a big hug x
 
Oh cazz I am so sorry. I really don't know what to say. You need to register this loss with the doctor/hospital. They need to look further into any problems and let you get some answers.
 
Im having a lovely time in greece but just logged on in a pub to see how hearty is doing and to give her a big hug

have just seen your news cazza and im devastated for you bebe, i am so so sorry and will be thinking of you both

lots and lots of love xxxx
 
Hello ladies!

Hearty, if youre reading this than know ill be hoping that all goes well on Oct. 4th and that you finally get some good news hun.

Cazz im sooooo sorry this has happened again....You have to demand some answers from the specialists, you just cant keep going through this!

Nato hope youre having a nice relaxing time in Crete!

As for me, i had an absolute shite weekend....Me and Alex had a huge fight and we nearly ended things! Thank god we managed to get through it and hopefully we will be stronger for it....Anyhoo, back at work after such a rough weekend is no fun...Im tired and cranky and just wanna go home and curl up!
 
Oh no vicky! I hope things are sorted quickly.

Must have been the weekend for couple arguments as me and my husband had a bit of a row. It was his brother's wedding and my husband has a habit of when he drinks getting ridiculously drunk and spending the whole night/next day throwing up. He is sick from booze about 80% of the time he goes out and drinks. Anyway a couple of weeks ago he comes up to me and said that he doesn't want to get hammered at his bro's wedding because it's not fair on me if I'm sober and he doesn't want to spend the next day ill. I said thanks for the concern I really appreciate it. So the wedding was saturday and surprise surprise he got completely wasted. I stopped him drinking at about 10pm (much to the disgust of some of our friends who don't know our history and thought I was being a party pooper) and he still spent the whole night vomiting. The next morning after I was vomiting because of my terrible morning sickness he came up to me crying because he felt so guilty that he'd been sick because of his own actions whereas I had no choice of being sick. But it's all fucking empty promises - he'll do it again. I'm fed up of it.

This morning I am still exhausted and in a hideous mood after our head office have now blocked most of my internet access, so not only have I been put in my own office away from everyone (and how lonely that is), I now don't even have the internet! Apart from BnB thank god!
 
Cesca seems like it was a bad weekend all around.... I hope your hubby realises how much this drinking hurts you but men usually are never so intuitive im afraid....I dont even wanna go into why we were arguing as its so pointless but im pretty sure we will have a repeat very soon.... Chin up its only Monday!!!
 
I can just imagine him doing it when the baby is here :( I told him that last night and he said he wouldn't, but it's all lies. He says he's not going to do it all the time and he still does.
 
Cesca his life will change 100% when the baby comes! I think you have a great chance of him not doing it or at least doing it so rarely that its not that important,,,
I guess all we can do is be hopefull that things will only get better!
 
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