Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

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Seems my name is only an animal ame here, I work with 2 people that have dogs called Cassie BUT on the up side I don't know any human and never even heard of anyone by the same name! I went to an all girls school with over 800 pupils and I was the only Cassie!xxx
 
I went to uni with a cassie and she's still a good friend, she is absoultly lovely so sweet just like you so I think it is very fitting. I can now say I know two cassies and they are amazing women!!

:hugs:
 
I have to agree. I have a little cousin named Kassidy, but we call her Kassie all the time. You are very sweet Sassy :)
 
LOL Megg that cracked me up, that dog is beautiful though. Your the only Megg I know.xxx
 
Cassandra is a gorgeous name! As is Cassie! Not a dog's name in my books...

I am named after:

https://www.spotlight.com/hallfame/portraits/francesca_annis.jpg

My mum watched her in a period drama just before I was born and decided she liked her name!!
 
I need to vent for a second.


FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

My boss who is fairly new just pulled me into her office to tell me she is 4 1/2 months pregnant. FUCK!!!

She's 37 and has been trying for years. It is her first pregnancy. Apparently going well since she's announcing it. She started working here right as I was having my 3rd mc. My old boss knew what was going on and filled her in. She and I had a talk about it and she was very sweet about it (we are all therapists and social workers, so that helps.) So, knowing my history, she calls me into her office today to tell me because she's starting to show now. She wanted to make sure I was going to be ok with it all. I told her about my most recent MRI results and started crying.

I just did the math and realized the she and I got pregnant at the exact same time. I'm going to watch her be where I'm supposed to be. That is so cruel. It just keeps getting worse. WTF???
 
Amanda... I don't know what to say I'm so sorry :cry: I can't even begin to imagine how you feel :(

I'm glad you were able to find out about this by yourself instead of her announcing it to your work colleagues in one go... but it is still cruel for you to hear this :(
 
That's true Sarah, thanks for that perspective. It would have been worse to hear it in a group setting. I'm devastated to think about having to watch her progress and to have a visual reminder of how I should be progressing. I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through this right now. I feel like quitting. I'm sitting at my desk crying right now.
 
heart tree said:
That's true Sarah, thanks for that perspective. It would have been worse to hear it in a group setting. I'm devastated to think about having to watch her progress and to have a visual reminder of how I should be progressing. I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through this right now. I feel like quitting. I'm sitting at my desk crying right now.
Click to expand...

Somehow you will find the strength. When I found out Sean's 17 year old step sister was expecting I was devastated. Absolutely devastated. I know my situation is different because I don't see her that often but it was all over facebook, it's all his dad talked about etc. and when the baby was finally born Sean's dad put on facebook "I have been given the greatest gift my daughter - my first grandchild" and I cried for days because it should have been ME who had given birth. It should have been his first grandchild from his blood son :cry:

Remember you have a lot of support here, whenever you feel it's getting too much we'll be here to give you a hug :hugs:
 
Hearty - in the end, you can't quit. Unfortunately, it could be the same situation wherever you go. As hard as it's going to be to see her on a daily basis and have that reminder, you will get through. I don't think it will be easy, but if you can come up with some kind of coping mechanism, then it might get easier in time. It's very cruel and unfair for what you had to go through, and what you are still going through, but you can't stop your life because someone else is pregnant. I'm not trying to be mean, so I hope it's not coming across that way. It seems like when you want nothing more in the world, that's the time that EVERYONE ELSE seems to have it, and it's just not fair. Come to us and we will help you get through in any way that we can. Scream all you want in here hun, because we will all listen. :hugs:
 
Thanks Mel. I specifically want to quit this job, not my life and not pursuing a family. This job has been stressful for many reasons. We've had a lot of change. We're a non-profit and don't have a lot of money. My old boss was divine and when she retired we were devastated. We had to downsize our office. I literally had to move to a new office right after I had my 3rd mc. I moved from a window and gorgeous view of San Francisco to a small cubicle with no windows. It's depressing. Luckily my work allows me to work from home a lot. Part of my job is to make home visits to clients. If I keep this job, I'm going to make sure I work from home a lot more. After everything I've been through, I've lost the strength to deal with this right now. I haven't had time to recover from my most recent loss or the news of my diagnosis. This is too much to bear right now.
 
I'm so sorry, Hearty! :( There's no denying that's a difficult situation to be in. My cousin (whose baby shower I just went to) and another friend are both about 4 weeks off from where I should be and the reminder of what 'should be' is constant. But with time it's grown easier to accept it isn't to be and no longer try to place myself in their situation (in my head, just torturing myself). I know you will find the strength to get through this. It's a cruel position to be in, though. We will be here for you. :hug:
 
Is it possible you can take some stress leave for a couple weeks or so? And can you ask to work from home, with maybe going into the office only once a week or when needed?
 
I just read your recent post and feel differently than what I stated above. If your job is not fulfulling to you, it's like something I read from one of you when Megg quit her job: If you are choosing between work and life, life always wins. Since you're not finding satisfaction with the job changes and are dealing with loss and a new diagnosis, I am inclined to think that having to deal with this at work just isn't worth it? Ultimately I know you'll make the right decision.
 
Thanks Allie. I've been around women who are pregnant, but never who were due the exact same time as me. This one will be different. I realized today that the first day I met this woman we were both pregnant. I suspected I was the day I met her, but didn't test until a few days later. She was probably the same. It's helpful for me to hear that it gets easier.

Mel, I have to be in the office on Mondays and Tuesdays. When I don't have home visits to make with clients on Wed, Thu, Fri, I usually come into the office. If I do have home visits, then I go back to my house to do all of my paperwork. I think I'm going to just work from home on Wed, Thu, and Fri regardless of whether or not I have to meet with clients.

I honestly think I have some PTSD about my losses. Being constantly exposed to triggers is not helping it. I need some distance. Work used to be a good escape for me because I work with the elderly population. I'm definitely going to be working from home tomorrow!
 
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