Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[NatoPMT]

Hearty.... Happy birthday to you - lemme guess, did you get more boots??

Hope today has been good - this is the beginning of a new year as well as a time to reflect - this too shall pass

xxx

 

[LucyJ]

Thanks girls I really appreciate you all being there for me I just feel so lost so confused my heart hurts. I found my positive pregnancy tests which got thrown very hard against the wall then I just collasped on the floor thank god for steve being with me he just picked me up whille I cried.

I've been curled up on the sofa just watching crap on the tv I feel a bit numb now and so cold I'm under a blanket. Think we are going to do a take away as cant fancy having to think about food and cooking.

Thanks Nato to be honest I dont know what to say to the dr what to ask, what we do next? The midwife said we should go to the dr for follow up and support, she said as I had a suspected early miscarriage in may when I was rushed to hospital (it was never confirmed) that this could be counted as a third miscarriage so I dont know if they would refer me for anything. I dont know suffering 2 mmc is unusal I just dont know. Any advice would be great. I really dont want to have an erpc but the scan lady said I shouldnt leave it to long as it can be dangerous. The other thing she said was that my womb looked perfectly normal no abnormalities. Sorry I'm a bit all over the place Im not sure I'm even making sense.

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Oh my god what a horrible day, Lucy I am totally devastated about your scan, I cannot believe it, this is so unfair and I'm so sorry. I wish I could take your's and Steve's pain away, god this is the worse news ever. I don't even know what to say, we are all here for you hunny. Please please please don't blame yourself, thinking of you.xxxxxxx

 

[NatoPMT]

I was very excited about your dream hearty, not the bit about Sarah Palin being my mum obviously, which would be more embarrassing than my actual mum, but this bit:

We were hanging out in your new flat with your baby boy.

i always thought id have a girl. but then something weird happened to me in August which i don't think I've posted about in case everyone thinks im mental. If i havent posted about asking the angels, which i read about in a trashy magazine, then i shall relay the story. Im not looking at the rest of the dream psychodynamically cos i dont have a clue what im doing yet. Im looking at it psychicdynamically which is my preference on this one.

sorry everyones had a bit of a crappy 24 hours.

Allie - sorry you've had some upsetting results - I really don't know enough to try and offer any advice but sounds like youve had some great advice off the disco oracles.

Megg, i could say the exact same thing with a ditto - i read about the parsley tea, sounds like you need quite a lot but its supposed to be pretty powerful. I posted a link ages ago to mintypeas about bringing on af, will see if i can locate it.

CJ hope your goddamn follicle stops arsing you about very soon

 

[CJSG1977]

Lucy the awful thing is that they say 3 consecutive miscarriages is normal....based on statistics apparently. Now you have had 3 (is that right) you should automatically been referred. Also if you have been trying 12 months you should be referred. When you feel up to it I would request to see a gynaecologist. I am in the same boat as you...they dont have a great deal to say about miscarriages which is why I am nervous about my appointment in 2 weeks in case they say there is nothing they can do. Plus I know I have a clotted follicle right now...I'm sure of it.

Hunni!! Cry, rage, stamp your feet, and hate the world today. You have every right. And we will all be here to listen and support you babe.

 

[Megg33k]

Luce... I don't know if this will help or not... but MMC's actually aren't as rare as some stats say. The thing is that they believe many MC's are MMC's, but the person doesn't have an u/s between the time the baby stops growing and the time the bleed start. Its likely that most MC's could be diagnosed as MMC's if there were daily scans, iykwim? So, don't feel weird or like you're a freak. You just had a scan at the right time to catch it. If you'd had a scan scheduled for 12 weeks instead, you'd likely have started bleeding prior to that time and never known it was a MMC.

I have a feeling that's not even remotely helpful! I'm sorry!

 

[CJSG1977]

Thank you Nato!! I just dont know what to think. I'm still DTD but its getting painful, and how long can the egg survive trapped in there....it probably wont be viable if it does release. Guess time will tell.

 

[vickyd]

Luce i cant fucking believe it......I cant stop crying at all this shit...FUCK FUCK FUCK...

 

[Megg33k]

Nato - Good to know that you've heard about it too. The article I found said 3-4 cups/day. I had one late last night and I've had my first cup today. I'll have another 3 through the day... more if you think its necessary! And, I'm considering doing the bath with clary sage even though I really despise baths and they make me to even think about! But, I'll try whatever I need to at this point!

 

[Megg33k]

CJ! It sounds painful, honey! I wish I could help!

 

[NatoPMT]

Thanks girls I really appreciate you all being there for me I just feel so lost so confused my heart hurts. I found my positive pregnancy tests which got thrown very hard against the wall then I just collasped on the floor thank god for steve being with me he just picked me up whille I cried.

I've been curled up on the sofa just watching crap on the tv I feel a bit numb now and so cold I'm under a blanket. Think we are going to do a take away as cant fancy having to think about food and cooking.

Thanks Nato to be honest I dont know what to say to the dr what to ask, what we do next? The midwife said we should go to the dr for follow up and support, she said as I had a suspected early miscarriage in may when I was rushed to hospital (it was never confirmed) that this could be counted as a third miscarriage so I dont know if they would refer me for anything. I dont know suffering 2 mmc is unusal I just dont know. Any advice would be great. I really dont want to have an erpc but the scan lady said I shouldnt leave it to long as it can be dangerous. The other thing she said was that my womb looked perfectly normal no abnormalities. Sorry I'm a bit all over the place Im not sure I'm even making sense.

do you want to do the working out questions thing now Luce?

I think you will need, in the next couple of days to work out if you want medical management or erpc. Because its mmc, its another horrible horrible thing to add to the situation, that a decision will have to be made. She is right in that it can be dangerous to leave it too long, but my EPU gave me a few days to think about what I wanted to do, and i don't think you should make a decision unless you know exactly how you feel about it. Your feelings will adapt and change over the next few days.

2 mmc is unusual, but your chances of future success with your next pregnancy are extremely high. This stuff, however, i do think can be left until you have had a bit of time to process what's going on. Thinking about it, you might need to focus and be composed when you request treatment, investigation from an NHS dr. Depends on your dr, if you are very upset and its a GP, they can bring down the hatches a bit as you them become a 'difficult' patient when suffering from grief. S/he might not take you as seriously as you need to be taken when requesting investigation given what the nurse said about the unconfirmed early loss. I do remember you talking about that and it being pretty damned obvious it was.

You can always go back in a couple of weeks - you dont have to have the conversation tomorrow - whatever you think is best

 

[NatoPMT]

Luce... I don't know if this will help or not... but MMC's actually aren't as rare as some stats say. The thing is that they believe many MC's are MMC's, but the person doesn't have an u/s between the time the baby stops growing and the time the bleed start. Its likely that most MC's could be diagnosed as MMC's if there were daily scans, iykwim? So, don't feel weird or like you're a freak. You just had a scan at the right time to catch it. If you'd had a scan scheduled for 12 weeks instead, you'd likely have started bleeding prior to that time and never known it was a MMC.

I have a feeling that's not even remotely helpful! I'm sorry!

i think theres 2 ways of looking at it, and either could be either helpful or unhelpful - it depends on who's hearing the information. You could say that unusual circumstances provide more information / clues as to the causes of the issues too.

Also, although i really appreciate what youre saying, mmc's that are missed for several weeks (ie caught on the 12 week scan) are quite unusual, although i think you're right that most mcs prob aren't as instantaneous as everyone assumes.

I think thats a possible question for the dr tomorrow, if you wait it out, how long will that take? They are unlikely to know, i was told anything between 2 and 15 weeks. And the nurse is right in that its not good to leave things that long

 

[NatoPMT]

Luce i cant fucking believe it......I cant stop crying at all this shit...FUCK FUCK FUCK...

i know what you mean

 

[Megg33k]

It made me feel like less of a freak, as MMC alone doesn't actually help narrow the reason for the losses. I didn't like feeling like some weirdo who managed to have this terribly unlikely horrible thing happen to me! I was sad when I first read the info, but then the more I thought about it, the more comforting it was!

 

[Allie84]

Oh my God, Lucy, I am so, so sorry! I am just in shock and in tears...this is so incredibly unfair. I am so upset for you. I am so sad for you. I just cannot believe this happened to you again! I wish I knew what to say; I am here for you and I am praying for you and I am so sorry for your and Steve's loss.

For clarification, my previous post (about myself) was posted after Lucy's announcement but I hadn't seen her post (being sneaky with the comp at work)or else I never would have written it. My problems seem petty in comparison to the loss of a little bean.

 

[msarkozi]

Allie - did you get to meet your sister yet, or is that next month?

 

[LucyJ]

I know I dont want to go for medical management option didnt want that last time heard to many horror stories and the not knowing. I opted for an erpc last time as they said it would take up to 6 weeks for me to miscarry naturally and it was all to much for me. I think this time I will probably wait to see if I do miscarry naturally but I just dont know I guess what worries me is if the baby died at 5&half weeks that was 2 and half week ago and my body has just carried on as normal. My body doesnt seem to want to let my babies go.

My dr is really lovely and has been so supportive so I think she would be understanding if I was emotional. I guess its whether they will count what happened in may as a miscarriage as to whether they will refer me. I spoke to my mum and she said that if I cant get anywhere with the drs that her and dad would pay for me to see someone privately so I have that as an option.

Megg that is helpful I appreciate it I just feel like such a failure like I've let everyone down. I even told steve he should leave me find himself someone who can give him the baby he so deserves he basically told me to fuck off but a bit nicer said he loved me that he would always be with me that he wants our baby and it will happen for us. If nothing else I am so lucky to have a husband who loves me, supports me and will always be there for me no matter what.

Thank you so much for your support and love it means the world to me I feel like I can get through this somehow one second at a time as minnie said and with all the wonderful support I have.

 

[cazza22]

OMFG Nooooooo i cant believe what im reading!!! Luce i am so so very sorry babe i know where your head is at & i know i wont be a good place. Take time to let yourself be angry, upset, bitter but mostly grieve ur little one. I wish there were words to take away this pain sweetie i really do. Know that were here no matter what ok babe. All my love always Caz xxxxxx

 

[Megg33k]

Allie - Just because someone has something worse going on, it doesn't mean you should diminish your own fears or frustrations! I feel absolutely awful for Lucy, but it doesn't mean I'm not still furious out about AF still being AWOL! Don't hesitate to post things about you... You can support and need support quite literally at the same exact time!

 

[Megg33k]

Lucy - I'm glad the info didn't upset you more! I do believe you'll get your forever baby... and I hope that your doctor will use this loss as the catalyst that allows you to be tested to see if there's an underlying cause! Definitely take your time and mourn though... Its an important step in the process!