Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[Megg33k]

You definitely have no cause to give up, Nato! NONE! I don't know how to say this without sounding like a total bitch... and I don't mean it that way... because I don't think you're old or hopeless in any way, shape, form, or fashion... Please keep that in mind when you read this: Ladies far older and far more hopeless have gone on to have their little ones, honey! I don't think you're nearly as bad off as you think! You might need a gentle nudge in the right direction, but I DO believe you'll get your baby... and I think it will be sooner than later.

Do you think I EXPECTED to need surgery and IVF before I even turned 30? Hell no! But, I'm doing whatever I have to. Fuck my goals and expectations... I'm following whatever goddamned path I'm led down if there's a baby at the end of the rainbow! Just go with the flow! Do what you have to do! You're strong and amazing and lovely... You'll get there!

 

[Megg33k]

Oh... And, I think this proves that I'll get my Christmas BFP!

Being stressed 'might help IVF women get pregnant'

 

[Allie84]

Mone, I am so, so sorry. Life is SO freakin' unfair. We are here for you.

I forgot to say good luck to Sass tomorrow as well as Vicky and Cesca.

Nato, I know that feeling of thinking it's going to be easy (I feel pregnant NTNP first month) and then slowly realizing it's not going to happen like that again. It's like the fates are messing with you. It sucks. I don't think it you've missed the baby boat- after all, you have been pregnant before and you do ovulate-so now it's just a matter of making it happen. I think seeing a FS is a good idea because it could be something as easy as taking Clomid or Letrozole, and even knowing that you're doing something is empowering. I don't think you've missed it At ALL. You'll have a baby. Thanks for your words about moving somewhere new. While I don't wish the loneliness on anyone, it's nice to know someone can identify with it.

 

[Allie84]

Oh, and I read about Lily Allen and my stomach just dropped. That is so awful. 6 months! I remember when she had her prior miscarrage.

Megg, at the stress helping. I think you're golden. I reallly do have a good feeling about this for you, though.

 

[vickyd]

Nato your post has me in tears....
Af hasnt arrived yet if i understand correctly but youre still getting bfn? The late implantation theory isnt that incredible...thats what happened to me back in June and my numers were so low. Like ive said in posts before, if partying ect had a bad effect on getting pregnant none of my social circle (including myself) would ever get preggo.

My scan is at 1.30 but since im getting it done by the top perinatologist in Athens (the scan is costing me a lovely 300 euro) where you wait forever for your turn, i probably wont get called before 2.30...The scan will take about 1 hour so i say ill be home ready to update by 4.30.

 

[LucyJ]

Nato I think thats a good idea to speak to your dr I think it will give you something positive to focus feel like you have some control and we are here for you for whatever you need.

Yeah I had a good look at the website thank you I have an appointment to see my dr on thursday so will have a chat with her about things. I want to make sure that we're having everything possible done/checked to see if theres a reason why the recurrent mc's.

 

[LucyJ]

Vicky and Sassy good luck for your scans tomorrow Will be thinking of you both tomorrow.

 

[sugarlove]

Nato sorry you've had a shit weekend hunni.

I feel exactly the same way as you about leaving it too late. I'm 35 and hubby is 44. I've drank and smoked way too much over the years and could kick myself for leaving this so late. I've been too busy going to music festivals and going out, when I should have been trying for a baby a good few years ago. Now, it's all I can think about.

Having said that, I know that this is not a very positive attitude to have, and there's no point in having regrets.

I think going to your Doctor will make you feel better in that you are doing something proactive.

Hope you are feeling better, and you're not out this month yet!

 

[sugarlove]

Megg what a refreshing read

Vicky and Sassy best of luck for your scans tomorrow
xx

 

[Sparkly]

Nato - I just can't accept that you've left it too late chick I really can't....I'm a year older than you....so if it's too late for you then I am done for! Alright we are not spring chickens here, but you're having good regular, ovulating cycles with good lp temps, like hearty said maybe you just need a few tweaks here and there. Did you have any testing done yet? x

Sugar - you've got fertile years ahead of you hun, don't worry

vic - thinking of you for your scan tomorrow chicka

Sass - you too hun x

As soon as I read Lilly Allen, my heart dropped, I knew what google would reveal, aww that poor girl, she must be devastated.

mone more hugs for you chicka

Hugs for anyone else who needs them this week....it's a hard week for me, but I am trying to be strong, it's my angels due date on Friday it's getting to me a little I am being massively distracted by being in the 2ww though....and testing way too early....and getting bfn's of course I will be testing on Thursday, but not Friday, I couldn't stand a bfn on that day

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Nato, you can never give up, I know it's hard but you will get there in the end. Have you tested today? Sorry to ask but when was your m/c?xxxx

 

[sugarlove]

Sparkly for you too sweetie. So hope you get your BFP this month
x

 

[NatoPMT]

Thanks y'all

sorry i made you cry vic, ive been walking round the flat wailing too.

Ive had backache all day, i woke up with it but didnt really think about it. Its gotten worse this evening which reminded me to add it as a symptom to FF and it reduced my pregnancy points, which made me realise its an mc symptom, with the cramps and the positives going negative, im wondering if im having a very early loss. I havent tested today and my wee is almost clear so no point testing this evening. Ive been going to the loo all day to see if af is here but it hasnt arrived, and shouldnt until at least tomorrow

Which brings me onto my next worry. (i have a list of them)

if im not having an early loss or early implantation, i shouldnt be cramping like this a few days before af is due - so am going to ask to be checked for endometriosis.

Megg, thanks for the pep talk, i did say it was what i was scared of rather than what i thought, and the other half of me is still in the ridiculously over optimistic camp.

I swear, my thoughts get a whole lot darker than that too. My husband is 10 years younger than me, i now how much he wants children. I really dont know where i am going to be in 5 years time. I think this is why i am so optimistic, cos if i consider my worst case senario, well. My husbands parents didnt totally approve of us, and my husband lost his only sibling, his twin sister 8 years ago. He is their only chance of a grandchild and the pressure, although they arent directly applying it, its still there.

Allie, YES!! why get pregnant so quickly last time? just to make you think everything is ok before whipping the rug away? hmm? hmm? About moving somewhere new, it only got better for me when i met my oh, who is from London. You need to find someone from the area to become best mates with, who then introduces you to a ready made social set.

Thanks Lucy - i think ive avoided it because its admitting theres something wrong. I need to adjust how i see it to how you suggested, that its doing something and taking the guesswork out of it. Good luck on thursday

Thanks sugar - i think for me, i wasnt ready, in fact, its only the last 12 months i have been, so i always think i would be better to be childless than to have a child and be a bad parent which i would have been. I have stopped smoking and stopped drinking. Horses, shutting barn doors and the like come to mind.

sorry for being such a miserable bitch. Im like this every af and i usually slink off until im feeing more positive, this time, if im going down, you lot are coming with me.

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Aww don't be sorry at all Nato, you are always there for all of us so we will be definately be there for you.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[NatoPMT]

Nato - I just can't accept that you've left it too late chick I really can't....I'm a year older than you....so if it's too late for you then I am done for! Alright we are not spring chickens here, but you're having good regular, ovulating cycles with good lp temps, like hearty said maybe you just need a few tweaks here and there. Did you have any testing done yet? x

i know, and i didnt mean to say anyone over my age is in a worse position, but when i said i have been a bit of a party girl, i really do mean in the extreme sense. I have smoked for 23 years (have given up now), but that really is just the tip of the naughty iceberg.

I did a list of my cycles today, and they really arent as regular as i thought. They have been getting shorter progressively. And googling demonstrates thats really not a good thing

im not saying im out of the whole race, im just saying that my fears are valid, but i wont stop trying, i just always said id stop trying if i need ivf, and i might actually need it.

am requesting FSH and lap and dye this week, and a referral, My progesterone was 48 which is fine, but its my fsh im terrified about

 

[NatoPMT]

Nato, you can never give up, I know it's hard but you will get there in the end. Have you tested today? Sorry to ask but when was your m/c?xxxx

My mmc was end of March - this is my 7th bfn since then. I know its not years, but i dont have years.

Havent tested today, i was going to when i realised backache and cramps might be mc, but my wee is clear due to excessive water drinking in an attempt to undo 23 years of smoking - no point testing with clear wee

 

[Allie84]

Nato, your dark thoughts, are you suggesting you think your DH might leave you if you can't conceive? I was thinking that was what you were referring to, but I may have read it wrong. If that's your fear, I think you should talk to DH about it so he can poo poo your fears! If his parents are bugging him about giving them grandchildren I'm sure he can, as a man, shrug it off much easer than you can. He might not even know this is bugging you.

 

[vickyd]

Nato back ache is also a sign of pregnancy...why would ff reduce points?? God im so clueless....
So i always thought that guys werent really bothered about having kids! Alex always said that if we have kids or not is my decision and after our second loss he was like we will try until you wanna stop, i just want you. This attitude is also shared by his mates but also most of my guy friends...Maybe its a Greek thing?

 

[NatoPMT]

Nato, your dark thoughts, are you suggesting you think your DH might leave you if you can't conceive? I was thinking that was what you were referring to, but I may have read it wrong. If that's your fear, I think you should talk to DH about it so he can poo poo your fears! If his parents are bugging him about giving them grandchildren I'm sure he can, as a man, shrug it off much easer than you can. He might not even know this is bugging you.

Thanks allie

yes thats exactly what im scared might happen - for the first time ever, i said to him yesterday, 'what if this doesn't happen for us?' and he just said 'we havent tried the other options yet'

i dont want to talk to him about it yet as thats part of the accepting something im not yet ready to accept, nor should accept without being told its never going to happen. It's part of my fears of what happens if it never happens.

I dont think im ready just yet, ive only just told you lot how i feel (haha)

 

[vickyd]

Nato ive been smoking for 21 years lol!! Drinking 20 years and all the other stuff id rather not share on a forum lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!