Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[NatoPMT]

The snot is back

Sassers - i think that your mum is a grown up and able to cope without her daughter protecting her. Youre being a lovely daughter, but it sounds like you need your mum, and wantingt protect her is depriving you of what you really need - your mum. My advice, and you are welcome not to take it of course, is that she should have all the information before she makes her decision.

Mone, i dont trust myself here, i don't understand how you can have increased symtoms with no growth. I want to say so much, but its not about what i think, its about how you feel. You are a bloody great advert, i am in awe of how you are able to conceive. And up till now you havent had the right treatment, i know you are going through hell now, but you really are my pin up.

I am so jealous of your valium.

i just want to quietly suggest you keep up the treatments - again, going through the motions without assuming.

But you do what you need to though my lovely. You are the boss of you.

xx

 

[vickyd]

Mone in Greece when something bad happens we dont offer "sorries" ect we say COURAGE.
Courage to face the unknown, the future and all the difficulties we will face...

 

[whyme]

Nato, FSH was perfectly within normal range, there was even a follicle on the left ovary ready to burst - so all systems go - BFN YET AGAIN.

I don't know which way to go now.

Have to tell you this though - I have a 3.5 year old son as you know - just tucked him in bed and we chatted about his "good boy" sticker he had from nursery today - apparently he got it cos he put his hand up and said "shooting star" which was the correct answer. No word of a lie he just said to me
" mummy, sometimes, i look at the stars, wish i could see a shooting star and make a wish on it for a little baby"!! bless him.

I am between a rock and a hard place - forget it all completely and always wonder "what if" or go through this shitty disappointment, obsessed with googling all sorts of stuff to worry about and basically think of this DAY and NIGHT. Been having reflexology which is wonderful, but even said to her feel like giving up - she was really shocked as she feels so positive for me. However, she says stress can up the Oestrogen levels and upset the balance. It really is a shit sandwich, visious circle.

I try the " at least I have got one DS, it doesn't matter blah blah" - who am i tryin to kid ?!

 

[LucyJ]

Mone I wish I could come over and give you a big hug I know how hard this is and the weeks wait is horrid but you will get through it take it one moment at a time.

Whyme hey its good to see you I know your having a rough time at the moment any support you need you'll get here this a great bunch of girls.

 

[whyme]

Welcome to the thread, lovely! The effects of TTC are horrendous! I know I've become a monster on occasion. But, I always find a way to go on. The heart wants what the heart wants, ya know? What blood tests have you had done? I've had my fair share of pelvic ultrasounds, but none that found anything until I had a saline sonogram... They found polyps and a week later I'd had a D&C (ERPC) to rid me of a ton of bad tissue. They think it could have caused so many of my problems, but there's no way to know for sure. There's always more testing that can be done. You just have to be pushy and proactive![/QUOTE]

Hi Megg, Thanks for the warm welcome! Bit of my history - Had Pelvic ultrasound as I have a 3.5 year old DS - they discovered a large fibroid in my pregnancy(7 cm), which they initially thought was on my ovary it's on a stalk on the outside of the uterus - v worrying at time had MRI scan at 36 weeks as they thought it was "nasty". Anyhow, as have had months of trying this time around they rescanned and it seems to have completely gone AWOL! They called the consultant in cos they couldn't get over it, they say they ususally grow til menopause, i joked that i hadn't noticed it dropping out my trouser leg lol. I have been seeing a reflexologist and homeopath who has been treating me for hormonal imbalance she thinks i have so this could be why. Doc ran loads of blood tests - hormones , thyriod, full blood count, iron stores blah blah and all completely normal. Just makes it all the more frustrating

 

[NatoPMT]

you know what though whyme, none of them know anything. The stress thing, i have read that stress (unless is bereavement level of stress) doesnt impact ttc - and megg posted a link saying stress helps ivf patients. But i suppose, actually, what we are experiencing is actually bereavment level stress, seeing as we have lost babies.

oh no, here comes the snot again.

why dont you post for a while and see how you feel? You dont have to make any decisions at any one point, and any decisions you do make, you can change whenever you bloody well feel like. We can do what we want, when we want

we are living outside of the law.

 

[whyme]

I know Nato, I don't think I can make the decision yet. Don't know about you, but i don't usually like new year, cos of the dread of what the new year may bring. Well last year, I started off well, looking forward to a summer baby... This year, I will be on the booze kicking this shit year up the ass! It has been horrible year on many levels for me, my family and many people I know

 

[Megg33k]

Its so hard when you feel like you have all the bases covered and its still not going the right way. I honestly just took my doctor a MASSIVE list of things I wanted tested for, and she was kind enough to do them without calling me crazy. I didn't find out too much, tbh. In fact, I mostly just found out I'm Vit D deficient... which is sort of major, as it can effect lots of stuff. But, nothing else really. I just felt better knowing that there was less working against me than there could be. Knowledge is power? I dunno... I'm running out of inspiring things to say! LOL

 

[whyme]

lol Megg - i guess I am indulging in good ol' wallow right now! Woah is me lol

 

[Megg33k]

I do that! Its good for the soul sometimes!

 

[NatoPMT]

Im not so keen on new year either, too ominous for my liking. And it signals that you have to go back to work and the weather is going to be total shite for at least 3 months without a free ticket to eat a family tin of quality street like you get at christmas

i am well up for a pissed up wallow. Think im going to have a few drinks this weekend as its in my safe zone.

im going to take Vic's stance and say all the awful things will give you courage to face the next year, Im still sorry you have had such a hard time though x

 

[LucyJ]

I'm not a fan of new year either although I have to say I will be glad to see the back of this year.

 

[vickyd]

I always hated New Years....Never saw the point in celebrating another year gone by! I have never made a resolution, all i do on New Years is get shit faced and for the past 10 years wish i was still at Uni hahaha!!!!

 

[whyme]

2011 will be a good year you'll see - hey did i say something postive - get me lol

 

[heart tree]

Grrr..why does this thing I called work, this thing that helps pay my bills, get in the way with my B&B time???!!!???

So much emotion going on in this Disco thread today. So much I want to comment on. Bah, I have to work though. I will go home tonight and write to my heart's content to each and every one of you.

I'm sneaking in to read each post though, so I am up to date and am thinking of each and every one of you.

Got to go now...

 

[NatoPMT]

woooop woooop the positivity alarm has triggered

everyone to the bunker!!!!

 

[whyme]

LOL Nato, you so make me laugh, now i am looking back on the day i have had and thinking WTF was that all about ! Haven't had a proper wallow for a while.

 

[whyme]

Nato read your Angel posts - so lovely. Me on the other hand have soo lost it - resorted to Ebay psychics now! Some of the ladies on here have had them and been accurate, so I thought When in Rome and all that - was expecting to hear bad news so somehow I could face it and move on but they were the opposite but hasn't happened so far

 

[Sparkly]

Welcome whyme, good to see you hun

I fuckin' hate New Year!.......Actually I really fucking hate 2010 and can't wait to kick it's backside!!!!

 

[whyme]

Hey Sparkly remember chattin with you, Nato way back begining of year - how are things?