Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[Sparkly]

Thanks, Megg. I appreciate your honesty. But it made me feel awful. Do you think I should do IUI or IVF even though it's only been 6 months? My opinion, and it's not as educated as yours, is that it's sooo soon. I didn't have irregular periods until recently, and I've never had irregular bleeding. I just wish he wasn't so dire. I can't tell if I'm in denial or if he's jumping the gun. I mean is PCOS a definite infertility diagnosis?

Sorry Allie i haven't finished reading everything that you've posted, but I feel the need to respond to this straight away......it is NOT and infertility diagnosis, my DS is living proof, it is however a subfertility diagnosis. It will be harder for you to get and stay pregnant, but with the right help and meds you CAN get there, even if it does mean IVF, it's a lot to wrap you head around, but the fact that you have found out so soon is a bonus really. My periods have never been irregular and I usually ovulate just fine on my own, but I do have hormonal imbalances and cysts on my ovaries. My own FS was a bit of a cock, but he knew what he was doing, and after years of me struggling, he was the one who diagnosed me very quickly.

 

[msarkozi]

Allie - I have to agree....even though you are only 26, I would honestly start thinking and planning ahead of IVF if you need it. As much as a person wants to conceive naturally, it might not be possible. If it was me, I would try for maybe another year, and if no luck, I would go ahead with the other options. My BFF was only 27 when she tried IVF.

Hearty - I am sorry about your night. As hard as it is, I think you have to find some kind of way that allows you to cope with being around pregnant woman, because it's not going to be healthy for you if you shut yourself off from life. Unfortunately, there is always going to be a pregnant person (and it seems like it is thrown in your face even more so when it's something you so badly want but don't have). I hope I'm not sounding callous because that's not the way I am meaning to be. I know how hard it is as well (even though some people might think I don't). I went to a baby shower a week after I had my mc, and I almost started crying while I was there and almost left. I made myself stay, but I didn't hold the baby (or any of the other babies that were there - including the one sitting right beside me). I think it made me stronger in the end for just staying and basically facing the fear kind of thing. I think if you can find something that will help you get through it, you will be much better off in the end, even if you have to straight out say to people, I'm sorry but I'm just not comfortable being around pregnant people due to my mc's. I think people don't realize how hard it is for someone, unless they are told.

Megg - the only plans I have for the weekend is coming out to work for awhile, doing laundry, and cleaning house. I leave to go down south on Thursday, so trying to get everything done before I leave.

 

[heart tree]

I LOVE YOU GIRLS!!!

I don't know what I would do without you. I already feel better. You all understand me so well. Thank you all.

Thanks Nato for reminding me that fear is not fact. I tend to forget that in times like these. I was feeling really positive about my next cycle and the meds. I'll try to remain positive. Maybe just not today.

The silver lining, cuz I always need one, is that one of my best girlfriends is in town for the wedding from Australia. I haven't seen her in a year or more. I'm happy to be spending time with her this weekend.

 

[Allie84]

OKay, I had a bit of a chance to catch up...

Hearty, I am so sorry. It sounds like it was a culmination of everything and that was just your breaking point. As you know, it was probably good to get all of that crying out! I'm sorry Tim wasn't as understanding...alcohol can definitely inhibit empathy, so I know he didn't mean to be uncaring. It is awkward, though, for the men, I think, when they can't do anything to help us. You WILL have a baby one day, I know you will. You have a great FS, great medical resources, and one thing all of us on here have which will help us all...being educated and aware, and proactive!

Amy, as hubby's was negative, I'd say you're on your way to a BFP!!

Lucy, it sounds like a great job; I hope you get it! Also hurray for the bleeding stopping!

Sassy, it is rough getting in the middle of a family argument, especially since you seem so close to your family. If they knew you were pregnant they wouldn't want you to be stressed, so I hope you have been able to step away from the situation and relax a bit. Take some 'me' time, you deserve it.

Megg, well done on getting some!

 

[heart tree]

Mel, no offence, but I just had my 3rd miscarriage less than 4 months ago and am also facing more of them. I know I have to learn how to cope with being around pregnant women, and honestly, I thought I was doing just that last night. I didn’t avoid going to the party. I even patted one woman’s belly. As a way to protect myself and cope, I decided not to feel the need to talk to them and ask about their pregnancies. Right now, that is my way of coping with being around them.

I’ve been kicking myself for not saying something about my participation in the activity. Upon reflection though, it happened so quickly, I didn’t realize the extent of the game until it was too late. That’s why I put myself in a corner and made a tissue bouquet instead of dressing the pregnant woman.

I feel like there is a time and place for everything. My good friends at the party know about my mcs. A lot of the women there I didn’t know. I really didn’t feel like making some statement to a group of people who I had just met about my mcs or the fact that I wasn’t comfortable with the activity. I just dealt with it in my own way and then vented to a girlfriend about it.

 

[prgirl_cesca]

Oh hearty, I don't know what to say. I'm kind of the opposite in that I tried to confront my feelings, I remember a couple of weeks after we MC going through some random girl from our town's facebook pictures of her baby *insane* almost to drive myself mad. I can totally understand how you're feeling and why it upset you so much. You have to remember though this is early days, however dire the diagnosis may or may not turn out to be in the future it will get easier to be around preggos and you'll just feel a little sting around them other than needing to cry in your car. Turn up to the wedding looking drop dead gorgeous, have a good old DRINK and dance with your man and you can bet they'll feel jealous of YOU!

Allie - what a shock for you. What a lovely doc you have *roll eyes* I know it seems too early to be looking into options but once the shock wears off it might be worthwhile just looking into them slowly. Not jumping straight to IVF, but looking maybe at some of the options into looking more at what may be wrong. I haven't mentioned it specifically on here, but I had horrendous ovaries COVERED with cysts when I was younger which were rarely visible on ultrasound. I remember my last operaton (when I was 20, 6 years ago) my consultant couldn't see any cysts on the scan but decided to do a laparoscopy anyway and you can see in the video my ovary was covered in cysts which he popped. I think if I was having fertility treatment it would have been called Ovarian Drilling maybe? Forgive me if I'm wrong. Anyway I'm just giving you my experience because i've ended up getting there eventually. I'm sorry you feel so hopeless though xx

 

[Allie84]

What questions do you have? I'll do what I can to help you get answers between now and when you speak with him again. I mean, unless they're questions about what he thinks regarding your situation... obviously I can't help there. But if they're medical in nature, I can maybe provide some of what you seek. I've gotten too good at this! LOL

You are very good at this! Well, my body seems to be super senstive to stress. He agrees thats why my prolactin gets raised and is normal under nonstressful situations. And my blood pressure-140/98 and then at the end 100/70-obviously very affected by stress, as he pointed out. Can stress be related to my elevated testosterone and DHEA? I mean, what causes that? I thought PCOS was what happened to people with unhealthy lifestyles (forgive my ignorance) and I eat well, exercise, don't drink or smoke, etc. He said it was probably related to insulin resistance in my case, hence the 2 hour glucose test. BUT, I have had fasting insulin and the test that measures it over 3 months and was told I don't have insulin resistance. It was like he was saying those tests were wrong? And if I did get pregnant what could be done about my testosterone as he said it would be bad for the baby? He didn't say how they would treat it, though. Because now I'm also worried that if I do get pregnant I will miscarry right away again. Oh, and lastly...he said my progesterone at 7pdo at 9.6 was good, but I've read on here it's not so good. I'm doing another 7dpo test next week...will the soy raise it at all? I still want it higher and am thinking of doing cream, but I don't want to mess with the blood test.

Lastly, everything with me is always 'borderline.' My testosterone, TSH, DHEA, etc. I don't know that's good or bad because on one hand, how can everything be so bad if it's all just borderline, and on the other, does it mean it's a slipperly slope to horrible results? I worry if I take meds it might mess everything up worse. I'm soooo against medication in general. Oh, and do you think I should push for thyrorixine with my TSH? He says no.

Sorry for my novel...can you provide what I seek, lol?

 

[msarkozi]

No offence taken, and it always breaks my heart to see when people end up in tears and I can't do anything about it for them. And I know people think that I don't have a clue about any of it because I only had one mc, but here's a little secret that I have never mentioned before - I lost a baby at 20 weeks before when I was 17 yrs old. So I am actually on my third pregnancy myself.

 

[heart tree]

Wow Mel, that is some secret to have kept. Thanks for sharing. I never thought you didn't understand. A loss is a loss and as far as I knew, you had one. One is one too many. Now I realize you've had 2. I really appreciate you feeling comfortable enough to tell us. So the fact that you are at 23 weeks must feel so good.

 

[NatoPMT]

Sorry to all the bridal showery type people (if they exist) but what sort of a bloody game is that anyway? what a pile of shite.

 

[heart tree]

I agree Nato, it was a pile of shite. I'm really not into the game thing. I know people are and I respect that. It's just not my cup of tea.

Allie, so many questions! I wish I had a clue about a direction for you to take. This is a lot of information to take in. It's a lot for me to take in and I'm not you! All I can do for you is some research to see what I come up with. I know you are probably doing your own too. Hopefully one of these other smart women can offer some advice.

 

[Duffy]

Hello ladies, don't mind my foggy writing lol I was up late playing fable 3 lol, master pie maker that I am

Melissa, thanks for sharing hugs.

I banned most of the TV shows with pregnant women in them although now I'm opening up a bit and watching the new season of 16 and pregnant. I'm not gonna lie sometimes I sneer at pregnant women in my head but its more because "I want my second baby" and its not really until now that I'm getting over my own feelings. Its been a long hard road since my miscarriage of feeling ways I never dreamed of feeling but I'm seeing the top of the hill now.

 

[NatoPMT]

you're being a bit more diplomatic than me tonight hearty!

 

[MinnieMone]

Just popping up to say hi.... to send Hearty a big hug for managing to get through what sounds like the evening from hell. Who in gods earth would think that dressing up 4 preggo birds in paper would be fun, for them or the costume designers, i mean what happened to the good all days of tequila and rubber penises (or have I just attended some weird hen nights).... as Nato said, a pile of shit. quite.

Allie - PCOS isn't necessarily a lead to infertility. I have very severe PCOS (and even though I'm not great at holding on to my pregnancies, I DO get pregnant, a lot), but I agree with Megg and the others, the sooner you can start looking into all the possibilities and treatments the better. I have personally come off the metformin which I didn't want to go on as it made me feel crap, and I believe has produced worse eggs (2 mc's since I've been on it), but your doctor for all his prickish bedside manner does sound as though he knows what he's talking about, and the fact that you are getting tested so early, is good good news. I was only diagnosed when I was 36 with PCOS my god I wish I had known sooner. It's nothing to do with lifestyle, you are born with it, usually hereditary from your fathers side, losing weight, exercise can lessen the symptoms, eating a low GI diet will help. If you are ovulating then that is a good sign, as many with PCO don't, that is usually where the metformin etc can help.

Hope everyone else is ok, has anyone heard from Raz, hopefully her bleeding has stopped.

 

[LucyJ]

Mel thank you for sharing I am so sorry to hear that you went through that.

Nato I'm with you what a pile of shit.

Hey mone thinking of you

 

[heart tree]

Good to hear from you Mone. How are you getting on my love? Thanks for your words of support. I agree tequila and rubber penises was what I was expecting too. Sigh, those were the good old days LOL!

No word from Razzers lately. I hope things are ok for her.

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Hey Mone,

How you holding up? I hope your ok.xxxx

 

[prgirl_cesca]

Oh mel, that's so sad. Thanks for sharing.

Nato - I agree it's shite. But I don't *get* bridal showers, or baby showers, and believe me I am ridiculously girly so you'd think i'd love that kind of thing.

One of my friends from work always organises parties and stuff and I have a feeling she'll do a surprise baby shower for me. But my mum and sister are 300 miles away and most of my friends are dotted around the UK, and I don't think she's thought of that. I may throw a hormonal hissy if my mum is not there!

 

[MinnieMone]

I'm doing ok I think. Not sure if it has really hit me yet, I know I definitely haven't processed the wider implications, my brain isn't letting me, just allowing very tiny thoughts through like, where did I hide that bag of crunchie rocks, or is Idiot abroad on tonight that will be a laugh, or isn't Holly Willoughby really bloody annoying on This Morning. Living by the second, it's getting me through.

Next week will probably be meltdown after the confirmation, then of course the mc itself. Jesus, just the thought is crap crap, bloody crappity shit.

I do keep having little tinsy weeny little day dreams (clearing not allowed in my 1 second living in the present coping mechanism thingy) that when the scan me on Monday she'll turn the screen and say 'oooh we made a big mistake there didn't we with dates missy mone, look at that lovely little heartbeat', you're perfectly 8 weeks), and it's a lovely 30 seconds of thinking ahhhhh amazing, but I'm back down to earth with a big crash when i know it is just a daydream and the chances of it happening is small, well, impossible really.

I think we are going to keep trying though.

 

[NatoPMT]

you gotta do whatever is right Mone, if thats burying yourself in This Morning and Crunchie Rocks, so be it.

Don't think about the crappity crap crap crapshite yet poppet, you don't need to, right now is right now and more important.

I'm glad you've started to make decisions. The shock can cloud how you really feel - you can change your mind whenever you choose - for what its worth, i think you are doing the right thing with that decision.

x