Just wanted to add my thoughts here...I have had RMC issues and increasingly complicated pregnancies even with my rainbow babies for the last 9.5 years so I totally get your fears. Trust me, THIS IS TOTALLY NORMAL. I'm 18 weeks tomorrow with Rainbow #4 and even though I've never had issues beyond 14 weeks, I simply cannot relax this time. I just can't. My anxiety is always there.
So yes, you are feeling overwhelmed and nervous but it's okay and understandable given your history. Don't feel bad about it because any PARL mom will tell you that it's totally normal.
My advice is to try and relax as best you can but do what you need to do to keep yourself sane. For me, I talk to my therapist every 1-2 weeks, I see the dr every 1-3 weeks (yep, even now) and get a reassurance scan or a doppler hb check, and I see my naturopath every 2 weeks. I also do meditation and deep breathing exercises, journal, and am hoping to start some prenatal yoga next month. I find having something to keep my mind occupied helps and some women will tell you that a doppler of your own is HUGELY calming for them as they can check bubs hb any time they want. (This doesn't work for me because most of my losses are earlier than you can pick up a hb with an external device and only ultrasounds can tell me if there is a viable pg or not. Plus I'd have the thing permanently glued to my belly if I had one. ) Maybe that's an option for you once you get a bit further along?
ETA-also one other thing to note is that anxiety is notorious for dampening or overpowering pg symptoms. I rarely get pg signs because of this and I've never had strong pg symptoms to begin with. Some women just don't get them at all anyway, even with a normal pregnancy. So no symptoms is totally okay at this stage too.
Thank you so much for the great advice . I'm trying to focus more on my 3 year old who I'm greatful for. I'm going away on holidays for 2 weeks, will come back and see all the doctors and get the scans done