Donor Sperm IUI/IVF- 2012

[CanadianMaple]

Bear with me. I'm behind and will have to read back and update my post as I do it.

Hi and welcome Raelynn. I'm so sorry for all you have been through in the past few weeks. My IUI will be on CD13. They are making me go in at CD3, then come in at CD11 and do the trigger that night if all looks good. Ask your clinic if you can take an extra week of pills to delay AF, they were fine with me doing that when I asked because of timing for my canceled cycle.

I found the book "Helping the Stork" helped DH and I both with the thought of using a donor. It took us awhile to find a donor we both felt really good about. I also found the IF psych was a lot of help, we just weren't ready to really dig deep with the donor aspect back in April. I like Fairfax, they do way more testing than the average bank, we just didn't find a donor that matched DH that was Canadian compliant.

We are using the European Sperm back via Seattle Sperm bank. It's not an option for Americans because the FDA worried that you could get Mad Cow disease or something. I only could choose from Xytex (we have one there we do like from there), Fairfax, Seattle and Cyrogenic.

What was important for me was that my donor was open ID. I had read it's best for the child to know they can contact the donor, if they chose to. It makes it easier to know they can look him up, get more information and it's not just a big question mark.

MrsC- Congratulations on your twins! I knew it!

WANBMUM- I hope the 2ww is going well.

AFM- I'm still struggling on the pill. I have a week left. I'm now bleeding and cramping like I have AF, having headaches and just feeling like crap. I was supposed to find out on Aug 3 if my file was ready for this next attempt at IUI #1 but my nurse was away and no one called us back. It's a long weekend and we'll be away until late Wednesday, so they better have everything they need. They drew the blood in early July but I have no trust in them at all these days after what happened last month.

I'm going to be on 100mg of Clomid. That seems a lot for the first try, doesn't it?

DH wants to go for ice cream right now. I'll do more personals later.

 

[MrsC8776]

DG~ here is the list I was given at my clinic. It might end up being small but I think if you save it to your computer of something you might be able to read it. If not let me know and I will try again.

raelynn~ The day of the IUI depends on your cycle length and how the meds work for you. I think the meds will help with your 3 month cycle and a trigger will as well. Before clomid I would do IUI on CD 14 because I would always get a positive opk around CD12 or 13. I have a 26-27 day cycle. With clomid I did the trigger on CD14 because I had not gotten a positive opk and my follies were pretty big and there were 3 of them. Also the meeting with the counselor is really nothing. They can't say yes you can do this or give you a no. They just see how you are feeling and give you some suggestions about the future. I found it pointless when I went but I guess it helps some people. It was required at my old clinic when we first looked into donor which is how I know. At the clinic we are at now they didn't require it.

Canadian~ I hope everything works out with your clinic. I don't blame you for having little trust in them right now. 100 mg does seem like a lot but at least you know they are not messing around and doing what they can to gt you your bfp. I forget, do you have any fertility issues? If so maybe thats why they are giving the high dose.

Thank you all for your kind words. We are very excited!

It's 100 here today so we are staying in and just enjoying our time together. I hope you all are having a wonderful day.

 

[CanadianMaple]

MrsC- I have high LH, but conceived my son really easy. I knew I was lucky, but I had no idea how lucky I was. I fear that I will make too many eggs since the issues mainly lie with DH. I am 5 years older though...

I'm going to Maine for two nights with just DH. It will be good for us to reconnect without kids. I'm going to have a hard time leaving my son for two nights, but he will be with his grandparents and cousin, so it sound be fun for him.

 

[SunUp]

Hey all... I wanted to stop in and wish everyone well. I haven't felt much like getting on bnb as I've needed a break. But I do think about everyone and hope everyone gets their good news soon!

 

[esuzanne]

Hi girls! Ok so DH and I have pretty much decided that donor is the way to go....I mean we don't have $30,000 to have another surgery and at this point all we want is a family! Now we are onto the task of selecting someone! I would love to hear how you decided?! We are looking at someone with pretty much the exact same features as DH, eye color, height, blood type, etc... But regardless, who knows how they will come out haha. I mean the same can be said if we had a biological child with DH--the body is a crazy thing I tell ya! Its like I think we find one then we might see that he is slightly overweight or something else and then we go on to someone different! I mean when do you finally just know?! I remember reading somewhere about not seeing their adult photo so that you aren't looking for those certain features when they are born, which makes sense! And I guess just because someone is a little heavier than we would like to be, doesn't mean its in their genes haha. We are more than likely going with Fairfax...and we have considered paying for the photo match where you supply a photo and a person there compares them to donors you prefer.

Any suggestions, hints, ideas? haha

 

[CanadianMaple]

We took awhile to decide. We first started with hair colour and eye colour and then went to height. From there, we looked for the healthiest ones and their donor essays. I did focus a lot on looks when I had access to xytex, but seeing the adult pictures freaked me out. We ended up choosing one from the European sperm bank and could only see his baby picture. The picture was pretty generic, but we're at the point where looks aren't the top of our list now. We want him to somewhat match DH and to be healthy.

I just wanted to update. My clinic is screwing us around again. I only have one BCP pill left and called to make sure our file was complete. I got the nurse that hasn't been very accurate with us and she said she would try to find DH's last result. She left a rude voicemail yesterday saying that his last test could take 2-3 MONTHS and then hung up. I have no idea what that means, do I finish out this pack of pills? Do I have to start them again after AF? Do they want me to keep taking the pill without taking a break for a few weeks?

I've been having wicked side effects, bleeding, headaches, emotional and I don't think I can go through this in September with a new school year starting. I don't really trust the clinic anymore either, one would think we were their first donor IUI they have ever had.

Today I feel like totally giving up. Waiting for a call back, I left them an emotional voicemail about an hour ago.

 

[Stardust1]

Why on earth would any test take 2-3 months??? That's ludicrous. All our tests DH included were done and back with me within 2 weeks max. What is the test you are waiting for? I'm so sorry they are messing you around, I think it sounds more like they've made a clinical error and are fobbing you off, is there anyone higher at the clinic you can talk to?

 

[CanadianMaple]

I spoke to the RE himself. Apparently DH had reactive test to his Hep C. It will take a few weeks to find out what's going on.

He was hit by a drunk driver in 1998. It could have been the cause of his low testosterone and azoo (he was in septic shock and in a coma for 18 days) and he has a card saying he has some crazy antigen in his blood too and may react during a blood transfusion if he doesn't notify the doctors. Now I have to tell him this.

So I am off the pill and need to call back in 6 weeks. I looks like we won't be doing the IUI until October or November now, providing it was a false positive. If he is positive, he needs to see an microbiologist or something?

 

[CanadianMaple]

I can barely pick myself up off the ground today. I read a lot about the treatments he would need if he gets a true positive and we would need 2 forms of a birth control and wouldn't be able to have sex if I was already pregnant. The drugs could even cause birth defects 6 months after taking it. OMG.

Please send as many good luck vibes as you can and we'll hope he has somehow fought off the infection years ago and is just showing antibodies.

This could be the end of our journey.

 

[raelynn]

Sending you lots of hugs and positive vibes Canadian! Hope you guys get through this and find out it was just the antibodies

 

[HollyTTC]

I can barely pick myself up off the ground today. I read a lot about the treatments he would need if he gets a true positive and we would need 2 forms of a birth control and wouldn't be able to have sex if I was already pregnant. The drugs could even cause birth defects 6 months after taking it. OMG.

Please send as many good luck vibes as you can and we'll hope he has somehow fought off the infection years ago and is just showing antibodies.

This could be the end of our journey.

Thinking all the positive thoughts I can for you!!

 

[Guenhwyvar]

I can barely pick myself up off the ground today. I read a lot about the treatments he would need if he gets a true positive and we would need 2 forms of a birth control and wouldn't be able to have sex if I was already pregnant. The drugs could even cause birth defects 6 months after taking it. OMG.

Please send as many good luck vibes as you can and we'll hope he has somehow fought off the infection years ago and is just showing antibodies.

This could be the end of our journey.

Please don't give up. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Tons of positive thoughts coming your way.

 

[MrsC8776]

I can barely pick myself up off the ground today. I read a lot about the treatments he would need if he gets a true positive and we would need 2 forms of a birth control and wouldn't be able to have sex if I was already pregnant. The drugs could even cause birth defects 6 months after taking it. OMG.

Please send as many good luck vibes as you can and we'll hope he has somehow fought off the infection years ago and is just showing antibodies.

This could be the end of our journey.

Sending you tons of hugs and positive thoughts. I hope you and your DH are ok. Sometimes things can be so tough and it isn't fair at all. We are all here for you.

 

[raelynn]

Just had our consultation today to go over our "Plan B" as the clinic is calling our switch to dIUI. I was expecting them to try and talk us into another round of IVF but luckily everyone was very supportive of our switch to dIUI. The plan is to put me on 50mg of clomid CD5-9 to try and help me ovulate in a normal time frame then we'll start monitoring for ovulation through bloodwork and ultrasound starting at CD12. Now its just the wait for AF to come to get things rolling.

 

[WANBMUM]

Hi guys,

It's a bfn for me after 2nd diui!

Is it ever going to happen?

 

[CanadianMaple]

I'm sorry WANBMUM.

Good luck, Raelynn.

I asked my clinic to call me back yesterday. I made the mistake about telling the receptionist it was about the Hep C testing. I'm sure they will avoid me again because they don't know anything about it there. I really want to see if they will let me still cycle. My family doctor told me the odds of me getting it is really low, and the odds of me getting it and then spreading it to a baby is even lower. It seems so unfair that we have to stop because of this.

 

[deafgal01]

Oh CM Hearing your story makes me want to for you out of frustration of all the stuff you've had thrown at you. I hope that's certainly not the end of the journey for you.

Any of you ladies struggle with the concept of donor sperm? I'm finding myself stuck- lately I just feel like I am taking a few steps backwards. I just need to bite the bullet and call my dr to refer us to donor sperm or whatever the process is. I keep thinking about the pros and cons of using donor sperm vs asking someone I know. But then again, asking someone I know would be wrong ethically, and very unfair to both Zach and me. So donor sperm (from a stranger) would be best option, right? But the part that makes me nervous is not knowing how much more information we'd have on the donor (beyond medical history and whether the child is allowed to look them up). I don't even know if I want the child to be able to find his or her donor when they're old enough. Just can't win, can we?

 

[MrsC8776]

Just had our consultation today to go over our "Plan B" as the clinic is calling our switch to dIUI. I was expecting them to try and talk us into another round of IVF but luckily everyone was very supportive of our switch to dIUI. The plan is to put me on 50mg of clomid CD5-9 to try and help me ovulate in a normal time frame then we'll start monitoring for ovulation through bloodwork and ultrasound starting at CD12. Now its just the wait for AF to come to get things rolling.

I'm so excited for you guys to get started. This is all such a long road but eventually there is a happy ending. Sounds like your clinic is going to do everything they can to make this work for you.

Hi guys,

It's a bfn for me after 2nd diui!

Is it ever going to happen?

Don't give up. It took 4 IUI's for me to get my bfp. I was at the point of giving up as well but we have to keep pushing forward. It will happen for you.

I'm sorry WANBMUM.

Good luck, Raelynn.

I asked my clinic to call me back yesterday. I made the mistake about telling the receptionist it was about the Hep C testing. I'm sure they will avoid me again because they don't know anything about it there. I really want to see if they will let me still cycle. My family doctor told me the odds of me getting it is really low, and the odds of me getting it and then spreading it to a baby is even lower. It seems so unfair that we have to stop because of this.

I'm glad things got figured out. Sucks that the clinic isn't calling you back though. I wish there was another place closer to you so you could switch clinics. Have you looked into seeing if your gyno will do IUI's?

Oh CM Hearing your story makes me want to for you out of frustration of all the stuff you've had thrown at you. I hope that's certainly not the end of the journey for you.

Any of you ladies struggle with the concept of donor sperm? I'm finding myself stuck- lately I just feel like I am taking a few steps backwards. I just need to bite the bullet and call my dr to refer us to donor sperm or whatever the process is. I keep thinking about the pros and cons of using donor sperm vs asking someone I know. But then again, asking someone I know would be wrong ethically, and very unfair to both Zach and me. So donor sperm (from a stranger) would be best option, right? But the part that makes me nervous is not knowing how much more information we'd have on the donor (beyond medical history and whether the child is allowed to look them up). I don't even know if I want the child to be able to find his or her donor when they're old enough. Just can't win, can we?

It was a little difficult for me to be honest. So many things ran through my head but in the end I just had to focus on the end result. We did go with a donor with optional ID. We can still decide but I know we will not have that info shared. Not ever one agrees with that but that is what is best for hubby and I.

 

[raelynn]

We also chose a donor that is completely anonymous - no ID option. I feel better that way but honestly the donor we like the most just didn't have that option. I personally feel better that the donor doesn't even give the option of contacting them lately because then our future child can't blame us for withholding info...if you know what I mean.

deafgal - I still struggle with our decision some days but like MrsC said it is the end result that we're focusing on. There may be no other way for us to have a baby and at least I'll still be able to experience pregnancy if this works.

 

[silverbell]

CM - sending lots and lots of

---

Just had our consultation today to go over our "Plan B" as the clinic is calling our switch to dIUI. I was expecting them to try and talk us into another round of IVF but luckily everyone was very supportive of our switch to dIUI. The plan is to put me on 50mg of clomid CD5-9 to try and help me ovulate in a normal time frame then we'll start monitoring for ovulation through bloodwork and ultrasound starting at CD12. Now its just the wait for AF to come to get things rolling.

Great news! I hope arrives very soon for you guys so you can get started.

Hi guys,

It's a bfn for me after 2nd diui!

Is it ever going to happen?

I'm so sorry, WANBMUM. I can definitely tell you I know precisely how you're feeling. I'm on number 5 now. Sending you millions of

Any of you ladies struggle with the concept of donor sperm? I'm finding myself stuck- lately I just feel like I am taking a few steps backwards. I just need to bite the bullet and call my dr to refer us to donor sperm or whatever the process is. I keep thinking about the pros and cons of using donor sperm vs asking someone I know. But then again, asking someone I know would be wrong ethically, and very unfair to both Zach and me. So donor sperm (from a stranger) would be best option, right? But the part that makes me nervous is not knowing how much more information we'd have on the donor (beyond medical history and whether the child is allowed to look them up). I don't even know if I want the child to be able to find his or her donor when they're old enough. Just can't win, can we?

I think it's different for every couple and nobody can say what's right or wrong for each person or couple. For us, as soon as we decided on it we had absolutely no hesitation or doubts. We didn't know anybody who we could ask for donor sperm and we did think that even if we did we personally didn't think we would have been happy doing that and thought it might have been a bit weird.

So ours is donor sperm from a stranger. We don't know anything other than height, weight, build, hair colour, eye colour and blood group. We know they're checked to make sure they have no illnesses that could be hereditary but other than that we're clueless. We both also felt very strongly that we wanted our child to have the option to find the donor when they were older if they wished. We tried to put ourselves in their position and imagined ourselves as being told we had a donor 'father'. We weren't sure but we thought we'd have probably been interested in contacting him if that were the case and therefore our decision was made. Donors can't be anonymous any more in the UK anyway! But if we'd had the choice we still would have gone with 'open ID' and we intend to be completely open with any child.

But, like I say, it's a very, very personal choice and every couple is going to be different and have different feelings and thoughts and therefore there's no 'right or wrong'. Take your time getting used to the idea.