Donor Sperm IUI/IVF- 2012

[verbena]

Hello all,

Thought I join a forum to have a safe space to talk about these details since I'm sick of friends casually raising their eyebrows and asking "so???" with no sense of how difficult this process is and how crushing it is to get my period again each month.

I'm a lesbian, that's why I'm doing IUIs. There's no "DH" in my situation, which makes me feel like a black sheep in the infertility world and on these forums too. But hey, the biology is the same.

I'm 30, have an AMH of 2.8 and knew I was ovulating regularly from OPKs so my wife and I tried 3 home ICIs to see if we could make this happen ourselves. After those didn't work, we stepped up our game and I got an HCG. I was expecting a clean scan but it revealed my right tube is actually blocked. Although the left is fine, that was pretty devastating news. We went from already knowing the odds are slim to now worrying that if there's only one follicle on the right, there's no point at all that cycle.

Last month I did 50mg Clomid d3-7 and an US on day 10 showed 1 nice 21mm follicle on the good side (early, I know), so we triggered the next day and I had my first ever IUI at 36 hrs post HCG. My uterine lining was only 6.5mm, sort of on the thin side but it was only day 10. Anyway, BFN.

This month I'm now at day 2 and my provider has increased Clomid to 100mg and we're doing one FSH injection on day 8. There's not a lot of literature on this protocol, but the idea is to hopefully produce multiple follicles since any follicles on the right are pretty much wasted. We're crossing our fingers that this month's ultrasound shows one (or more!) viable follicles on my left side and that my lining isn't too thin. There are just so many variables and questions that no one really has an answer to that I wanted a place to vent...
- I have nagging doubts that our timing was off last month because I got serious crampy/pinchy sensations on my left side about 20 hours post the HCG trigger. Could I have been ovulating that early? Doc says unlikely but my gut says maybe so and we should do our next IUI earlier. There are so many opinions on how best to time the IUI after trigger.

- Doc had difficulty getting through my cervix both for the HCG (forecepts needed= painful, no fun) and my provider had trouble getting the catheter through for the IUI too. Had to switch tips or something and spend a long time wiggling. Apparently my cervix is very closed off. It makes me worry that she's not actually getting the sperm all the way up there and giving me a true IUI. Anyone else have a closed cervix??? Does it get easier each time?

- Is it worth it to do back to back IUIs to cover the spread? The problem is, we're not flush with donor sperm (or money). Only have 4 vials left of our preferred donor and switching donors is emotionally exhausting. Research says 1 is almost as good as 2, but would I regret not "giving it all"?

- Doc also recommended Femera if Clomid seems to thin my lining, but I have concerns about its lack of being FDA-approved and whether it's worth the extra cost.

- If this doesn't work after 3 IUIs, do we try a more heavily-stimulated cycle with multiple injectibles or move to IVF or keep trying IUIs? IUI success drops way off after 3 tries. IVF is freaking expensive and will make me feel like even more medicalized. But all the monitoring required with injectibles gets spendy and invasive too.

Anyway, I'm trying to keep hopeful and do what I can to be healthy and lower my stress (the only things I can control, right?) but it's a difficult and confusing process. Wish us luck! Thanks.

 

[Baby Dreamin]

Hi RedHead =)
Yes he did get the vasectomy before we were together. He has a daughter that he raised by himself, so although I'm angry at his choice to get the V, I understand how he felt that was his best option. I adopted DD a couple of years ago so now I have a pre-teen. I joke that they're might be a new TLC series on us...Toddler's and Teenager's lol

 

[Baby Dreamin]

Thank you!
I have to get the hang of posting with the cute little emoticons =)
Our Doctor has suggested a couple of natural cycles, then a laporoscopy in summer if we aren't pregnant and then move on to medicated cycles. Any tests they have done on me show that everything is good but I haven't had a lap. Where we are, there's a 6 month wait list for the lap, and since my Dr. isn't pushing me to go ahead and have it done, we're going to try a couple of cycles. We only purchased enough sperm for 2 cycles, and for financial reasons, that is all we can do for now anyways.
For my last IVF cycle, I was on the maximum dosage for the stims and my body fought it the whole time, doesn't seem to matter what they do, my body seems to fight to follow it's own natural cycle so hopefully that's a good sign!

 

[Baby Dreamin]

Hi Verbena,

So good to have a group like this where we all understand what each other is going through and you are right; our biology is the same and the infertility hurts all the same so I hope you feel comfortable here =) I'm new to the forum as well, just found it last night!

Stress can do a lot of crazy things to our bodies and it's so hard to not get stressed out while going through this.

When you mentioned the problems with the catheter, it reminds me of a situation a lady I knew was in. When it came time to do her embryo transfer, they couldn't get the catheter in place. She went for a dilation (the D in D&C, I never knew what those stood for) so they did the dilation and she also had a mock transfer where they just inserted the catheter. It did the trick and she was able to have the transfer completed and is now pregnant. Maybe something to check with your doctor before your next IUI.

As for Femara, I haven't been on that or Clomid but it does work for some so maybe that's worth a shot. Just helps your body produce multiple eggs that month right?

 

[silverbell]

Hi Baby Dreamin and verbena I hope your time here is short and sweet.

- I have nagging doubts that our timing was off last month because I got serious crampy/pinchy sensations on my left side about 20 hours post the HCG trigger. Could I have been ovulating that early? Doc says unlikely but my gut says maybe so and we should do our next IUI earlier. There are so many opinions on how best to time the IUI after trigger.

This is completely fine. Ovulation pains can happen before, during and after ovulation. IUI is usually best performed at around 36 hours post trigger.

- Doc had difficulty getting through my cervix both for the HCG (forecepts needed= painful, no fun) and my provider had trouble getting the catheter through for the IUI too. Had to switch tips or something and spend a long time wiggling. Apparently my cervix is very closed off. It makes me worry that she's not actually getting the sperm all the way up there and giving me a true IUI. Anyone else have a closed cervix??? Does it get easier each time?

I've always been told I have a 'tiny os', which is the cervical opening. It's been mentioned at all my smears and at my IVF the doctor had to switch catheters to get the tube through the opening. However, this isn't something to worry about if you're having IVF or IUI because the tube has to be completely inserted through your cervix before they can continue with the procedure. So sperm will be in the right place with no problems.

- Is it worth it to do back to back IUIs to cover the spread? The problem is, we're not flush with donor sperm (or money). Only have 4 vials left of our preferred donor and switching donors is emotionally exhausting. Research says 1 is almost as good as 2, but would I regret not "giving it all"?

There is zero research that suggests having 2 IUIs gives you any more chance than 1. The 1 IUI is done at the best possible time for ovulation, as with the trigger it's guaranteed to give them a clear window of time during which they deliver the sperm. I really wouldn't worry about doing 2. I was told chances are still exactly the same.

- If this doesn't work after 3 IUIs, do we try a more heavily-stimulated cycle with multiple injectibles or move to IVF or keep trying IUIs? IUI success drops way off after 3 tries. IVF is freaking expensive and will make me feel like even more medicalized. But all the monitoring required with injectibles gets spendy and invasive too.

I had 6 failed IUIs before moving to IVF. We'll probably try once more with IVF before giving up. In hindsight I wish we'd moved to IVF sooner, but that's very easy to say now I know those 6 IUIs failed. There is a much higher chance of success with IVF than IUI (I was personally given 15% chance with IUI and 50% chance with IVF).

Good luck with your journey and I hope it's short for you.

 

[Redhead7211]

Hi Verbena!

Silver pretty much said everything I intended to, but I'll throw my two cents in

First off-Welcome! There's another lesbian that stops in from time to time on this thread, Lesbian Mystique. I'm sure she wouldn't mind a PM if you'd feel more comfortable chatting with her about certain things. I figure we are all going through the same thing, though DH provides plenty of other support he's not physically "contributing" so to speak.

Regarding the Ferema, my RE said if Clomid didn't work, I probably wouldn't have a different result with Ferema. Money is definitely tight so we decided to step up to stims and take a more aggressive approach. You can check out my siggy for what we ended up doing. Personally, I would do injectables before moving directly on to IVF. Though as Silver said, they've told me I'd have a 50-60% success rate with IVF compared to the typical 15-20% with IUI.

As far as how many IUI's...my RE seems to be in the school of 3 IUI's for each type of drug. She also outlined me a schedule for the next few cycles (which we will hopefully not need), before we do IVF or move on to adoption.

Cervix-I've had a few IUI's where they have an easy time getting into my cervix, one time where they were manipulating organs from the outside by pressing down on my pelvis, and a few times where she had to switch speculum sizes. I've also had to couch to relax my cervix so she could insert the catheter. Since she changed speculum sizes it really helped, maybe that's the answer for you?

It's very hard to figure out what is the "right" process for you. I also understand (as I think we all can) the frustration and sadness that occur with always getting your period. I wrote on another thread how a girlfriend of mine is pregnant with her third and is 5 1/2 months along and was complaining to me about how terrible it is to feel the baby kick all of the time. What we wouldn't give to feel that right? It's frustrating when people seem to just share a washcloth with someone of the opposite sex and we go through intense medical intervention and it still doesn't happen. We just need to maintain faith that it will happen. Heck-there are several girls on here who are testaments that this process works. We are always here for each other to pick each other up. Lord knows we all need it from time to time so never hesitate to share your feelings.

Baby Dreaming-A pre-teen! Yikes! I'm afraid if we have a daughter she'll hate me until she's 20. haha

 

[SunUp]

Hi ladies! Thought I would pop in and wish everyone well. Has anyone heard from CM? Hope she is doing well.

 

[Redhead7211]

Hey SunUp-CM hasn't been on this thread lately, but I saw she posted on the boards like a month ago maybe. How are you feeling mama?

 

[verbena]

There is zero research that suggests having 2 IUIs gives you any more chance than 1. The 1 IUI is done at the best possible time for ovulation, as with the trigger it's guaranteed to give them a clear window of time during which they deliver the sperm. I really wouldn't worry about doing 2. I was told chances are still exactly the same.

Actually I was able to find some research on this, but apparently I can't post links yet. It's Pub Med Abstract #979662 if you're interested in Googling it. The title is "Two-day IUI treatment cycles are more successful than one-day IUI cycles when using frozen-thawed donor sperm." They showed "Nine clinical pregnancies were achieved in the 1-day group (5% per cycle, 9.7% per patient), while 39 pregnancies occurred in the 2-day group (17.9% per cycle, 37.9% per patient)."

Maybe with fresh sperm, which has a longer lifespan and usually more motile sperm, 1 IUI is about the same. But I'm starting to think that with our frozen sperm (lifespan appx. 10 hours realistically and ~11mil motile sperm) there's no way to cover the spread with only 1 IUI. There's always a potential gap of a few hours because the windows might not line up right. I think we're gonna go for 2 this month (assuming it's a good left-side month)- it can't hurt... more than having a catheter shoved through your cervix already hurts!

 

[Redhead7211]

Hey there ladies!

Verbena-interesting results! 2 IUI's certainly couldn't hurt.

I just went to my ultrasound appointment. I have 4 follicles that are only 14mm. So I'm doing 150 of Gonal F tonight and tomorrow night, blood work tomorrow, then going in for another ultrasound Friday. Hopefully everything will be mature and ready to go. I can't believe the eggs aren't mature yet because of how tender my abdomen is.

On a funny (sorta) note...I was driving home from the appointment and was a few miles away and I got pulled over by a trooper for not having my inspection up to date! ha too much time with fertility treatments and I spaced out on getting my car inspected last month. Well I decided to high tail it to my mechanic and got pulled over 2 times on the 10 minute drive to the mechanic's shop! I'm going back at 4 to have my car inspected!

Hope you all are having a good day!!

 

[CanadianMaple]

Hi everyone! I think I am ready to start posting again. We had a long wait between the failed IUI attempt, waiting to see the OB and then moving forward with a new plan. We are going to do IVF/ICSI and try a TESA to see if DH has any sperm. We know there is a 20% chance. We have our donor as backup. I did my mock embryo transfer on Monday and start the Asprin/BCP tomorrow for 21 days. The TESA is for Feb 21 and my ER will be Feb 22. Crazy we have concrete dates and are doing this!! We haven't had a chance to TTC (with sperm anyway) since we got married 18 months ago! I'm so excited and so terrified.

Redhead- Crazy that you got pulled over twice in 10 minutes!! I hope all went well at the garage! I hope everything is ready to go by Friday for you!

SunUp- Thanks for thinking of me. I had to take a break from everything since I knew we were back in waiting mode. It was starting to make me crazy. The time away has been so good for us.

Hello to everyone else. Hopefully I can keep up now. I am so glad to see this group going strong!

 

[verbena]

lol- this fertility stuff can really suck a lot of attention and make us forgetful about other routine life stuff. It can also make me really weepy and down- the last days of Clomid especially.

But that's very exciting about having 4 follicles! In my research I also read an article that showed no difference in pregnancy rates when ovulation was triggered when the largest follicle was 16mm vs 18mm. So, given that they grow 1-2mm a day, you're really close to being ready!

best of luck to you this cycle!

 

[verbena]

Doh, that last post was to Redhead. Still getting the hang of how 'reply' works.

CanadianMaple- sending positive thoughts your way too.

 

[Redhead7211]

CM! I'm very glad to see you back! What does the TESA involve? Aspirating the sperm? That's fabulous that you have some concrete dates!! We are all here to cheer you on. How did the mock egg retrieval go? What are the details on that?

Verbena-The Clomid made me borderline psychotic. I was constantly sweating, and when I got my period I would cry hysterically. More than the usual disappointment of getting it, like I would sob uncontrollably where ever I was. At work...home...in what will be our child's room. So know you aren't the only first, last or only person to feel that way.

I'm feeling pretty good. My abdomen is very, very tender. I'm hoping there are huge mature follicles attached to my ovaries tomorrow! Ugh I had a terrible phlebotomist today at the lab. She stuck me hard core with the needle and my arm is super sore. That's kind of distracting me from the ovary tenderness at the moment. I'm hoping I can trigger tomorrow, and go in Saturday so we can get this show on the road. I'll make sure to report back tomorrow after the appointment.

 

[SunUp]

Yay CM! LOVE seeing that you have a plan! Hoping for the BEST for you!

AFM, I have been super, super sick. But, I can't complain because its the best reason for being sick! Although as of now, I have lost 20 pounds (eek) but baby boy is doing well, which is what matters most to me!! So far all our tests/sonos have come back with everything looking good for our son. And I am able to feel him move, which, since I have been so sick, (which translates into worrying about him) it is AMAZING feeling him move.

I get my next sono in the next few weeks. I am so thankful. And hoping this group keeps getting more BFPs!!

 

[Redhead7211]

Sun-A boy?! Congrats! Do you have any names picked out? I'm sorry to hear you've been so sick. Any sign of it lightening up? DH does NOT want to know the sex before the baby makes its grand appearance in the world.

I just got back from the doctors and some errand running. My e2 level was like 1100. She said that's great and what they look for. However...I have 7 follies on my right ovary (which explains why it feels like it's going to burst), one of which is 16mm. The left ovary has one follie which is 20mm. She told me to get blood work today, and she'll call to tell me when to trigger and the IUI is tentatively scheduled for Monday. She said if the number gets too high we will have to cancel so I'm crossing my fingers! I'm relieved to be done with blood work for the time being. Both arms are super sore!

Hope all you ladies are doing well!

 

[SunUp]

Yes, Boy! We weren't going to find out, but after our diagnosis and long wait, we couldn't wait any longer! We are SO THRILLED!

 

[dodgegirl]

Hi everyone

I have been away from this site since last April and decided to get back on as my TTC plans are in the works and I will probably be TTC again within the next couple of months ! You can check out my journal if you'd like to see my story, I updated it yesterday....

I do have a question though. Does anyone know how to mail sperm ? My FOB is living across the country for now and we want to TTC while he's over there. I'm assuming you have to freeze it? Just wondering if any of you are familiar with this process ?

We are doing at home insemination, so no lab or anything involved....

thanks !

 

[SunUp]

I am afraid you might need a lab. It has to be frozen to a certain temp and kept at that temperature, so it usually gets frozen and mailed in a special tank. I am not 100% sure though, and I hope there is an easier way.

 

[dodgegirl]

I am afraid you might need a lab. It has to be frozen to a certain temp and kept at that temperature, so it usually gets frozen and mailed in a special tank. I am not 100% sure though, and I hope there is an easier way.

aww ok thank you. I will keep searching !