Due Sept 2017

[lilmisscaviar]

I've just had my midwife appointment today and am going for a scan next week to determine why I'm measuring at 34 weeks. There is no way I'm that far along. My midwife is suspecting excessive fluid but I think he is just a big boy, especially based on my previous children. All of them were large for dates. If he is big, I can only hope that he comes a bit early. I'm really nervous though.

 

[Dani_b]

I do t know how to add photos on here, so have never posted any. Only on facebook

 

[gingmg]

Lovely photos!

A few people have told me I've dropped this week. I don't really see it but that makes me worried. I hope not. Or if I have, I hope that doesn't necessarily mean anything?? I vaguely remember people telling me the same this early with my son and I still went to the end, so I'm hoping that's just how I carry? Again, I don't really see it but more than one person has mentioned it. Trying not to over analyze but it's so hard.

 

[MrsKChicago]

I bet it's just baby settling into position, which is great at this point. I wouldn't worry about early labor based on that.

 

[Savasanna]

So.. Callie is out. Wah waaaahh. Back to the drawing board!

We had our birthing class this weekend. I'm SUPER nervous for labor. I mean, I know it's going to be ok and it'll be a once in a lifetime experience that I'll carry with me always.. but it's also going to totally suck. haha (in a good way, of course)

All looks good on the baby front, though! Crazy to think I'm only going to have one more growth scan with her. I feel like we're really starting to get to the beginning of the end.

As for me - my hormones are out. of. control. I was a mad woman this weekend! So sensitive and emotional and easy to overwhelm.. I cried.. too many times. Doesn't help that Peanut has been an angry elf most of the weekend. I think it's part this tooth that is working it's way in and part that she can't crawl but desperately wants to. As my wife said "she's a growing baby.. you're growing a baby.. that's a lot to manage!" haha. She's been an unbelievable rock for me, though. I so appreciate it and couldn't imagine getting through this without her.

33 weeks! 7 to go!

 

[MrsKChicago]

Oh no, what happened to Callie? Naming babies is so hard!

How old is Peanut? There's a reason we waited until Teddy was almost 2, I can't handle a baby while pregnant! I'll be so nice for Peanut and Not Callie to be close in age, though. I think sometimes the only thing that keeps me cheerful through all the third trimester discomfort is thinking about my nephew who was born at 28 weeks - he's almost 4 and doing great now, but seeing the alternative to all the third trimester woe puts it into perspective for me. But I have to admit it also helps that I'm not dealing with any truly awful symptoms.

We met our doula yesterday and really liked her! We went through a low cost organization so we didn't get to choose, so there's always a risk you won't really connect. I'm nervous about birth, but I'm trying to build up my confidence. I made it through 12 hours of active back labor before the epidural with Teddy, and I'm hopeful that since this one has a posterior placenta and I'm paying more attention to position it'll be normal labor this time, and faster because she's my second. So it has to be easier, right?? I hope so...

 

[Savasanna]

What do you mean you're paying attention to position? I know there's head down vs. breech - but is there anything we can do to encourage them to be facing the right direction at this point? I assumed that was out of control.

lol to "Not Callie". Perhaps that's what we should call her? Peanut is 9 months in two days. We decided to start ttc again before we were placed with her - so while this was obviously a "planned" pregnancy (in that, we were working with an RE so it was an intentional try), we had unsuccessfully tried for several years AND have had three other placements that all ended in reunification so.. we certainly weren't expecting to both have the opportunity to adopt a child and become pregnant at close to the same time. Oh life and your tricky curve balls!

That said, I'm excited to have two kids be super close in age. I think the first year or so will be pretty tough, but it will be awesome to watch their relationship as they grow together.

We just found a conflict with Callie that was too much to overlook. Pretty bummed.. we both really liked the name.

So great that you like your doula! I can imagine there would be a lot of nerves going into that meeting, as this person is going to be with you during a fairly intimate experience. Are people inviting others into the delivery room? I was considering inviting my mom, but I think I'm going to stick with just my wife. Haven't completely decided yet, though.

 

[MrsKChicago]

Ideally baby will be facing your back at birth - Teddy was sunny side up (facing my front), which is more common with anterior placentas, and it's often a factor in back labor, which can be more painful and more likely to take longer and stall. It's more common for them to be facing backwards but small things like watching your posture, sleeping in certain positions, and so on can increase your chances - basically our modern lifestyles tend to put us in less natural positions as we go about our lives, which makes it harder for babies to settle into the pelvis in some cases. My doula said she'd send me some specifics on encouraging baby to get into position, but I do think she's mostly facing the right way even when she's still transverse.

It's amazing how life throws things at you all at once, isn't it? The first year will be hard but I'm sure it will pay off in the end. Hopefully all goes well with the adoption and they end up best friends. You'll be at an advantage since Peanut hasn't had years to get used to being your one and only, at least.

I'm having DH, the doula, and necessary medical staff. That's it. Even the doula we really weighed the pros and cons for both births. We're both introverts and I don't like to be vulnerable in front of people, but in the end it made sense to have that extra expert support if I want a med-free birth. My mom would be way more stress than I want so I'm grateful that she never pushed to be involved. She wants to be kept in the loop, which is fine with me, but I don't want a party in the delivery room. I figure it's easier to invite people during labor if I change my mind than to disinvite them. Having been through it before, my advice is to only invite people who you actively want there.

 

[Savasanna]

Yea - that's how I'm leaning as well. I'm close with my mom, but there's just this level of comfort that I have with my wife that can't be rivaled. I want to be able to feel free to go to my most vulnerable, if I need to, which is something I truly can only do with her.

I'd love to hear some of those suggested positioning, when you get them from your doula! For all the growth scans I've had I've never thought to ask if she's forward or rear facing.

And yes - it's nice that we don't have to worry about preparing Peanut for a new baby. She's actually at the age where she's super into other babies, so I think she'll end up loving having another baby around. ...I hope.

 

[MrsKChicago]

I'll let you know what I find out for sure. A lot of babies don't turn until labor, though, so I wouldn't stress too much about it. It only worries me so much because I've been through back labor and because I really want to go natural this time. I think you said you were more open to an epidural, right?

Comfort is so important. When I was really struggling with Teddy, there were a few times we asked everyone to leave for a bit, even the doula, so I could just process things and decide how to move forward with just DH. We made sure our doula this time knew it was a possibility that we'd ask her to go get herself a coffee or something if we needed some time.

 

[Savasanna]

I am open to an epidural, yes. However, as I'm getting closer to the big show I'm finding myself more and more pulled to the idea of really giving a med-free birth a go. I think I'm to a point where I can say that I'd like it to be med-free - so that's going to be my goal.

However, as I've said all along, I have absolutely no idea how this will look/feel, which is why I'm keeping the option open, should I find myself completely overwhelmed/consumed with pain.

I've also heard of this "back labor" - sounds awful. So I'm game to position myself in any way that could help to avoid.

I have to say - I'm terrified of this experience.. but I'm also sort of excited, too. Like - it's just this HUGE experience looming ahead in my future that I have so many questions about. I don't know, I'm both sort of looking forward to it and completely dreading it / can't wait for it to be over.

 

[MrsKChicago]

I know just what you mean. I'm starting to almost kind of look forward to it but also really really not

 

[gingmg]

I remember from last time the midwives suggesting bouncing on a yoga ball and making big wide circles with your hips especially from left to right could potential help get the baby in the best position. Also doing cat cow yoga exercises especially when you feel movement can also help. I also remember them telling me not to cross my legs towards the end and to sit sort of on the edge of the chair with your legs open a little bit, kind of like a guy. I'd be curious to know more suggestions that your Doula recommends.

As far as having a natural medication free birth I swear that being informed and doing your research ahead of time can drastically increase your chances of being successful and having the delivery that you want. I guess I look at it like running a marathon, you wouldn't think you can run a marathon without training right? When I get back from camping at the end of the week I will see if I can upload the hypnobirthing meditation that I started listening to again. I really think if anything it helped me feel less anxious in the weeks leading up to birth and more empowered that I could do it. I still had pain relief but I didn't have the epidural and I really think that is at least part of the reason why. Ina May Gatskin's books 'guide to childbirth' and 'spiritual midwifery' were also truly informative and I learned about all these little things you can do to help when things get hard. For example, kissing releases your body's natural endorphins and that really helped to get through some of the stronger contractions. I labored a lot on the toilet which I know sounds crazy but your body naturally knows to release and let go there which can help you progress faster than being in a bed where your body is not trained to release and let go. Also little things like pursing your lips and making a motor boat type noise can help you dilate because for some reason it helps your cervix relax and open. There's no shame in getting an epidural or even not wanting to try for a natural birth. But I would suggest that anyone who would like to try do some reading to give yourself the best chances. There were so many little things I learned that I really feel like helped when the time came. There was another book I read called 'birthing from within' by Pam England and she had some little exercises to try that involved ice cubes. Basically you hold an ice cube for a minute and try different breathing exercises, guided imagery, and other different things she suggested and you can kind of get a sense of what helps the most in making that minute holding an ice cube go by the fastest. Granted holding an ice cube is not the same thing as having a contraction but it is cold and a minute can feel like a long time and you can get the sense of sort of what little techniques help you more than others. I'm going to re-read many of the books I read before because there was a ton of things like that I mentioned above that I think helped with anxiety leading up to delivery, helped me feel empowered in that my body could do this, and helped to cope when it got hard. Sometimes knowledge is power and I really was mind blown the more I learned about birth and the birthing industry. That's just my own two cents though and everyone has very different feelings on what they want and that's OK. These are just a few of the things I found really helpful, which may or may not be the case for everyone.

I'm talk texting on the way home from getting my haircut so hopefully it translated ok and there aren't too many spelling mistakes. Hope everyone is well. Have a good week!

 

[gingmg]

I just logged back in to add that I also think my situation was a little different because of my platelets and the idea of not being allowed an epidural is rather terrifying so I needed to do absolutely everything I could to learn about natural pain control and ways to keep my anxiety down. If I could have gone into it with the attitude of "I'll try my best but if I can't do it I'll just ask for an epidural " I don't know that I would have gone down the road I did. Again, there's no shame in not wanting a natural delivery or wanting one and not end up having one, I just ended up where I ended up based on my platelets dropping.

 

[MrsKChicago]

I did all of that before Teddy (even down to the ice cube thing at my birth class) and even though I ended up with an epidural, I think it helped. In the end I really needed the sleep even more than I needed the pain relief, but I don't think I'd have made it as long as I did without a lot of prep.

My doula did mention cat cow pose, which my PT wants me doing, too.

 

[Savasanna]

Those are great suggestions, Ging! I was looking into books that might have some similar exercises and found Mindful Birthing. Has anyone ever read this? I think I'm going to see if my local library has a copy.

I'm not going to lie, I feel like there's a little bit of pressure to go med-free, just because everyone in my friend group did. Because of this, I've definitely asked my wife to remind me that it's ok to go another route, if she feels like I'm truly struggling. There are just so many factors that I can't predict. How I'll respond to the level of pain. How long the labor progresses for. Things I can't even think of to try to prepare.

Anyway - we'll see what happens. I'm also nervous to set up too much of a plan, as I don't want to feel disappointed in whatever happens. At the end of the day, my goal is to be healthy and deliver a healthy baby. How that happens is all details.

Bleh - back is driving me crazy today and it's not even 9am!

 

[MrsKChicago]

The most important thing is that you're the one calling the shots (obviously in a serious emergency that may go out the window, but that's rare). I didn't reach my "goal" with Teddy, but I know I made well-reasoned, informed decisions. Nobody pushed me to do anything I was unsure about because they thought they knew better than I did. I still consider it a positive experience even though it's one I hope not to repeat. I'm sure you'll be happy with whatever decisions you make in labor, as long so you go in educated.

 

[lilmisscaviar]

Well I had my ultrasound today to determine why I'm measuring so big. The good news is that baby is healthy, everything looks good, although he is measuring on the larger side at 4lbs 3oz (96th percentile) but given that all my kids were large for dates, that wasn't surprising. However I have been diagnosed with polyhydramnios (high fluid) and will need to have regular ultrasounds the rest of my pregnancy. If they feel that the fluid is getting to be too much or if I start getting too uncomfortable, they will take the baby immediately. However, if all seems ok, I will be allowed to go up to 39 weeks. After that, if I do not go into labor on my own, they will induce me. Being diagnosed with polyhydramnios has unfortunately put me on the "high risk" category because, if my waters break, I will need to deliver the baby immediately whether I'm having contractions or not. This makes me nervous because I've never been induced before and all my previous births were med free.

 

[MrsKChicago]

That must be scary, I hope everything goes smoothly. How far along were you when your others were born? Hopefully this one's ready to go before they need to induce.

 

[Savasanna]

How often will they be monitoring you from here on out? Glad to hear baby is healthy, but I'm sorry you have this on your plate now!