fed up of being told breast is best!!!

[winegums]

ok i'm sorry but what i think people fail to realise here is that most midwives are NOT trained to help women breastfeed. During their degree they learn a lot about the benefits of breast milk obviously as well as a lot of other stuff.

They are there to give advice and talk about it...... some of them then take further training to become breastfeeding specialists... good on them. But most of them don't.

what i'm seeing over and over again is

'they kept on about breastfeeding while i was pregnant but then didn't help me when the baby was born.'

it's not their job to teach you how to breastfeed unfortunately.

There are special breastfeeding support workers for this, there are people you can ask your health visitors to put you into contact with breast feeding councillors and people like the la leche league. However most people don't bother to find out about it and expect the midives to be able to help them.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

The mw's got him to latch on the first feed when he was born, they seemed to know what they were talking about

They also told me to rinf the bell when on the ward and someone will be round to help me and show me what to do etc. I had a rough Idea through research on the internet. But when it comes to doing it, it's totally different.

But anyway, they said just ring the bell when you need help. I did and a lady walked in her words "Just feed him" Then hours later a MW came in she must have hear Aidan crying as I was trying to get him tp latch and it wasn't happening and he was becoming more distressed. Byt this time her attempts to help me failed he latched but as soon as she had gone he came off the nipple again. SoI tryed expresing that was never ending
xx

 

[LPF]

There are special breastfeeding support workers for this, there are people you can ask your health visitors to put you into contact with breast feeding councillors and people like the la leche league. However most people don't bother to find out about it and expect the midives to be able to help them.[/QUOTE]




do these people work in the hospital and can come and see you quite quickly?? how do you get in contact with them in the hospital? (add to my todo list!!)

presumably they do as you need to establish feeding from the start or you will already have got into a routine by the time you see one at home, especially if you are in hospital for a few days.

 

[LankyDoodle]

There is no doubting at all that breastmilk IS the best for baby - that's why nature made it. However, breastfeeding is not always best for mum and sometimes the baby just can't do what they need to to get the milk.

I agree with the person who said MWs are not there to show us how to feed, but they do (or did in my case and that of lots of my friends) try to help and refer you elsewhere if you are struggling. Round here there are breastfeeding groups and because I did NCT I am in touch with a breastfeeding counsellor and have the numbers for the breastfeeding helplines as well. I guess on a busy antenatal ward, midwives just don't really have a lot of time. We struggled with feeding for a week until we found out she had tongue tie and it was resolved. In that week she wouldn't latch properly and we both got very frustrated and I got very sore; the TT was cut at 1 week and then the latch was spot on and we've got on really well with feeding so I am so glad I perservered through having to hold my boob in her mouth, clench my jaw through the pain of her latching sometimes and the endless amount of time it took for each feed. Not like that for everyone, though.

 

[aob1013]

Before formula was ever invented, what did people do if they couldn't breastfeed? x

 

[trumpetbum]

I'm sorry you had a crappy experience AM. Unfortunately their are loads of similair experiences. I absolutely believe that breastfeeding should be consistantly promoted but too often there isn't the support to back it up. Successful health promotion requires funding adequate support services or it's a pointless exercise and people just end up disheartened and angry that their first days with their baby were marred by unnecessary frustration and failure to do something which is advertised as 'the most natural thing in the world.'

 

[trumpetbum]

Before formula was ever invented, what did people do if they couldn't breastfeed? x

Most people could successfully breastfeed because for the most part they had generations of expertise at their fingertips through peers, family, neighbours and if all else failed the extended families could step in and help to feed the baby as is still the case in other parts of the world. It was fully expected that a woman would and could breastfeed.

 

[LankyDoodle]

I also wanted to add that I never felt it was being rammed down my throat. Yes it was discussed at antenatal classes, but the MW who ran them didn't assume everyone WOULD breastfeed or that those who didn't were bad people; she just said bottle wouldn't be covered. My HV and GP both asked me a couple of times if I was BF and when I said yes to my HV she did say 'excellent' but tbh I was glad of her encouragement because I've had comments like 'your milk isn't rich enough, give her formula', 'your baby is dairy intollerant, give her formula'. WTF! I'm not a cow and therefore my milk is not dairy - they probably mean LACTOSE! So it's nice to have some encouragement and also acknowledgement that hard as I found it at the start I'm doing it. Women who breastfeed aren't all militant; I actually felt and still do to an extent, very vulnerable and emotional. The HV went through the benefits of continuing to 6 months but then in the next breath said 'so long as mum is happy, I am happy'. I do have a good HV though.

I have read lots of research articles about the benefits of breastfeeding etc, and formulated my own opinion, so I don't need propaganda. I am, however, force-fed propaganda\ from the flippin' formula companies every time they send me an email!

 

[trumpetbum]

do these people work in the hospital and can come and see you quite quickly?? how do you get in contact with them in the hospital? (add to my todo list!!)

presumably they do as you need to establish feeding from the start or you will already have got into a routine by the time you see one at home, especially if you are in hospital for a few days.

When I trained as breastfeeding peer supporter it was to help after birth in the ward and afterwards at home or over the phone. I'm no longer active but I know there were not enough of us. I would find out what is offered in the local area by way of support. Your m/w might know who is available on the ward. If anyone reading breastfeeds, has time to spare and has a local peer volunteer network for breastfeeding support, I would really encourage you to look into it.

 

[winegums]

There are special breastfeeding support workers for this, there are people you can ask your health visitors to put you into contact with breast feeding councillors and people like the la leche league. However most people don't bother to find out about it and expect the midives to be able to help them.

do these people work in the hospital and can come and see you quite quickly?? how do you get in contact with them in the hospital? (add to my todo list!!)

presumably they do as you need to establish feeding from the start or you will already have got into a routine by the time you see one at home, especially if you are in hospital for a few days.[/QUOTE]

yes most hospitals have breastfeeding specialists in the building or else very close that can be contacted straight away. Especially hospitals that have been awarded baby-friendly status by unicef.

Unfortunately most of the time it's if you don't ask you don't get. These women are VERY busy trying to help loads of mums so they don't just come down to the wards. You need to tell your midwife that you want to talk to someone specially trained to help with breastfeeding.

also if your worried before you go into hospital TELL THEM. they are 'pushing' breastfeeding and they are more than happy to help and get you into contact with people that can help you after the birth.

I'm not putting midwives down by the way some of them are great with breastfeeding it's just that the majority of them are not actually trained to help with it! they may still try and help but it would be better to speak to someone whos speciality is breastfeeding.

 

[winegums]

Before formula was ever invented, what did people do if they couldn't breastfeed? x

only around 2% of women cannot naturally breastfeed. then there are women with blood born diseases which aren't that much more. Women donate their milk, plus there were ladies that came and breastfed FOR mothers who needed help.

Unfortunately now that formula is out many women think they can't breastfeed because its too easy not to work at it.

 

[Blah11]

Before formula was ever invented, what did people do if they couldn't breastfeed? x

such a tiny number of people cant physically BF. Most women give up for mental reason. Before formula there was wet nurses

 

[Dragonfly]

Before formula was ever invented, what did people do if they couldn't breastfeed? x

Someone once called me a new age hippy mum for breastfeeding. They thought it was only done in the 60s by tree huggers

 

[chetnaz]

It's sad isn't it. I believe mums who wish to BF need to be supported from the start. I remember being in hospital when Aidan was 3 hours old and I rang the bell for help to get him latched and a lady walked in and asked what was up. I explained and she said ."Just feed him" And walked out I tried to get him to latch and he tried aswell but really struggled and by the time a MW came back we were both very distressed.

I am happy for you, that you over came that initial stage and breastfed. I am now in two minds whether to do it next time as that experiance put me off
xx

That's terrible! I would have kicked up a right fuss! When I had DS, every time A MW passes by, I'd call them and insist they showed me how to latch him on, but I have to say, they really confused me, as they all gave me different advice and techniques. I'm quite lucky as my mum is a bit of an expert on BFing and in the end, she was my greatest help. She's had 6 kids (i'm the youngest) and we were all BF for at least 12 months. So when I had my son, she was really encouraging (even pushy! but i knew she meant well). I was living with her at the time, so every time DS needed feeding, she was at hand to help me latch him on. It was still a bit of a nightmare in the beginning. So sore and painful. I had cracked, bleeding and I developed mastitis. But my mum urged me to give it 2 weeks. She said it takes at least 2 weeks for your nipples to toughen up and get used to it. She promised she wouldnt mention it again if i gave up after 2 weeks, but asked me to try. Because i really wanted to BF, i gave it a go, and it worked! I BF DS for 9 months. Saying that though, I'm not taking it for granted that just because I was able to the first time round, i will be able to again. Every child and circumstance is different. This time round i'm expecting twins and although I really want to BF again and I will try my best, if I cant then i wont beat myself up about it. We'll see how it goes really. It is personal choice and no one should be made to feel bad for the choices they make - at the end of the day, we all want what's best for our kids.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Even though I am not trying for another baby for 4-5 years, when I do try and I become pregnant where can I go to get a BF support person before I give birth?

And wow chetnaz, I wish my mum was an expert on Bfing
x

 

[Janidog]

I'll probably get slated for this but for me, breast isn't the best purely on the basis that i need to get in to some form of feeding routine, as running my own business i havent got the time to deal with cluster feeding, bleeding nipples, worrying about latching problems, stressing myself over it etc...... so formula is the best way to go for me and my midwife completely supports my decision

 

[chetnaz]

Even though I am not trying for another baby for 4-5 years, when I do try and I become pregnant where can I go to get a BF support person before I give birth?

And wow chetnaz, I wish my mum was an expert on Bfing
x

There are la leche support groups hun, you can look up which is your closest group to you. I've never been to one, but i've heard theyre really good. Yes, my mum did come in quite handy, Im quite lucky. Dont know if it'll work this time though as there will be two babies to feed! Ah well, all i can do is try. Hope it works out for you next time, and if you really want to do it, don't let the MW's fob you off! Insist they help you - it's part of their job. x

 

[Dragonfly]

I'll probably get slated for this but for me, breast isn't the best purely on the basis that i need to get in to some form of feeding routine, as running my own business i havent got the time to deal with cluster feeding, bleeding nipples, worrying about latching problems, stressing myself over it etc...... so formula is the best way to go for me and my midwife completely supports my decision

You mean breast isnt best for your life not in general.

 

[xUniquex]

I'll probably get slated for this but for me, breast isn't the best purely on the basis that i need to get in to some form of feeding routine, as running my own business i havent got the time to deal with cluster feeding, bleeding nipples, worrying about latching problems, stressing myself over it etc...... so formula is the best way to go for me and my midwife completely supports my decision

I personally disagree with your reasons for FF as i think that having a child is about sacrifice and when we decided to TTC we agreed that for at least 6 months it would no longer be about us and our lives,but about the baby... but that is a difference in parenting!

Not saying that you are wrong in your choices because its whats best for YOU and no doubt BF would affect both you and your baby because you would feel that you werre doing something you didn't want to do.

TBH i see more and more of this kind of attitude towards BF,and it's mainly down to the 'have it all' culture that seems to be the done thing now.

At least you have the balls to be honest from the beginning and voice your reasons for choosing not to BF without the age old 'i tried with my last and couldnt' or seemingly a favourite amongst girls i know 'one day my milk just dried up'.

I think its a shame that a lot of women feel the need to defend tgheir parenting choices and especially when it comes to not BF make 'excuses' why when really they simply did not enjoy it,found it too hard and gave up or didn't want to do it anyway!

As for having support when the baby is born i think that pregnant women should be encouraged to look into whats available to them,i know my local trust offers peer support workers to pregnant women.. but due to funding this isnt available everywhere

 

[LankyDoodle]

I'll probably get slated for this but for me, breast isn't the best purely on the basis that i need to get in to some form of feeding routine, as running my own business i havent got the time to deal with cluster feeding, bleeding nipples, worrying about latching problems, stressing myself over it etc...... so formula is the best way to go for me and my midwife completely supports my decision

That means breast is not best for you. Breast is still best for your baby, and that's all the health set mean when they say 'breast is best'.