Fezzle's secret wedding planning

[Fezzle]

Hmm- I guess one possibility is for me to legally change it to a hyphenated name, then use my maiden name professionally and OH's name everywhere else? Then if on my passports and debit cards it's hyphenated, both names are on there if there are any issues with plane tickets, or conference registrations or child-related paperwork. Any children would have OH's last name as theirs, though I like the idea of adding my maiden name as a 2nd middle name.

The first time I changed my name because I was really early in my career (still getting my masters and hadn't published), my exDH had an unusual and I thought cool last name, and at the time, it just seemed like what was done. I didn't have that much to change when I did it either. It was more of a pain to change it back, but I was so glad when I did!

 

[Nikki1979]

Glad that everything is coming along nicely. Love your choice of rings. I haven't really worn a ring since DS was born - stopped when he was baby coz was worried might scratch him and then just never went back to it.

Hope you can get the last name issues sorted out. Luckily DHs last name and my maiden name is the same so didn't have to change anything.

 

[Cowgirl07]

I would do maiden-married if I did it again. Not for publication reasons or anything like that, I just have a hard time identifying myself by my married name. It is also extremely popular in my area and someone has the same first and last name. It gets confusing, plus no one seems to like her.

 

[Kirsty3051]

I scrapped my maiden name and went with DH's. Mainly because it was three names hyphened together.
(St. ****-*****) Pain in the ass. So nice just to have one, normal surname. X

 

[Fezzle]

Nikki- that's convenient!

My name isn't that unusual, but OH's is one of the most common in the UK, so it would make my name fairly boring! Much different than my first married name which is a surname I've never heard of anyone else with other than my exDH's family.

 

[MellyH]

I didn't change my name, but now we are struggling to work out what to do with the kids' last names!

 

[Squig34]

I changed my name no problem - but I'm quite traditional like that and I didn't really like my maiden name (not that DH's was much better, but I've gotten used to it now ) I like that we can be identified communally as Mr & Mrs C***. But I have a number of friends who chose to keep their maiden name professionally, and married name otherwise.

You could always both keep your own names and give the kids hypenated surnames, although kids can be odd and would probably like to have the same name as (at least one of) their parents. Especially if you have a cool surname now It's definitely a rather fraught subject these days, so good luck!

Your ring choices are lovely. I particularly like 1 & 3.

 

[confuzion]

I never changed my name legally either. Mostly not wanting to go through it all with the paperwork and my husband didn't mind either way. I do occasionally use his last name socially though.

I may change it legally when kids are coming into the picture. I think I would have changed it earlier if it were really important to superman.

 

[MIZZYD]

I changed my name because I wanted nothing to do with my maiden name since biological father was never around so no reason to keep it.

BTW, I saw the dress on your first page, and OMG, I love it!!

 

[Fezzle]

I think the dress might come today! I'm excited about seeing it in person!

Thanks for all the input for the surname issue! I might ask some of my IRL friends about how they made their decision and what issues have come up. I'll ask them after the wedding though!

Squig- I think I'd have to insist that we are Mr and Dr R****!

 

[Fezzle]

Oh- and now they apparently have all sizes back in stock with the dress. I'm tempted to get a few just in case!

 

[Fezzle]

Ok- the dress arrived! But- it's way too small in the boob area! I couldn't get the zip up (it's a side zip), and even if I could, my boobs would have looked like one big smashed in uniboob. I'm going to return it and try a bigger size, but I think I'm going to make a trip to the actual store and try some on.

I still liked the dress itself- it looked a bit different than I imagined though- it was white, with a light gold embroidery on it that reminded me of embroidery from old dresses my mom has- I like that vintage look. There was also a nice poofy thing under the skirt too so the skirt was fuller than I thought, which I liked. And the length was perfect- I was worried it would be too long. The top lace bit was a bit looser, but that might have been because I couldn't zip it up!

Another option is that I found this site: https://www.inspirationbridal.co.uk...s-length-50s-60s-vintage-wedding-dresses.html
and love a lot of them, and they can be made to my measurements, though I'd have to decide with enough time to get it, and then I'd be stuck with it rather than dresses from stores that I can return!

 

[Kirsty3051]

I love the second dress on the first page! I want it for myself

 

[MIZZYD]

Oh my!! So many beautiful options!

 

[Pirate]

Do you have Etsy or something similar in the UK? I ordered my wedding dress (which was actually a beach dress) from Etsy, sent the seller my measurements, and she sent me my dress. Just a thought.

 

[Fezzle]

Yep- we have etsy here too! I've already been looking there for hair accessory options. I'll have to see what they have for dresses too!

 

[Fezzle]

Gah- a quick look showed really expensive ones on etsy! Like £800-900 for the ones I liked. I'm trying to keep the dress under £200. I did see a lovely faux fur white bolero though! Too bad I'm not getting married in the winter!

Another option is Vivian of Holloway since what I seem to like are the 50s style dresses.

https://www.vivienofholloway.com/wo...-halterneck-luxury-ivy-lace-white-dress-p1094

https://www.vivienofholloway.com/wo...-halterneck-luxury-white-satin-lace-dress-p27

https://www.vivienofholloway.com/women-c70/dresses-c10/1950s-halterneck-white-star-satin-dress-p1499

One of my friends got married in a Vivian of Holloway dress, but hers was red with white polka dots.

Edit: Some in actual weddings: https://www.rocknrollbride.com/tag/vivien-of-holloway/
I've always seen these as an easy way to go. From my friends who have these dresses, they are quite flattering/forgiving- in case I don't lose weight or get pregnant!

 

[Lynny77]

Ohhh I like the second one- the lacy one I love how 50's they are and accentuate those curves!

 

[Squig34]

Squig- I think I'd have to insist that we are Mr and Dr R****!

Fair enough!

Vivian of Holloway is awesome, although I love so many of the dresses in that other link you posted! I think the vintage look will SO suit you with your figure, it's flattering to bigger boobed ladies (of which I am also one and the style really suits me!)

 

[Fezzle]

Yes- once I started looking at all of the dresses on that site, I recalled how thick halter styles usually go well with my boobage! I want a full skirt because I have narrow hips and it would balance me out. And I want a short dress because I want to be able to wear it all over and not have it dragging around- and to see my shoes!

I could get a coloured petticoat underneath which might be a good way to add a pop of colour, though I would want to decide on my shoes first.