Fezzle's secret wedding planning

[Cowgirl07]

So pretty!

 

[Pirate]

Those rings are all gorgeous!

 

[confuzion]

I went to catholic school for several years but I was never baptised and pretty sure my parents weren't either . So don't know if that is necessary.

You can go if you're not Catholic, but Catholic children get priority for the spaces, which can be cut throat here for good schools (Catholic schools here are free). The non-Catholic primary schools around us are good, so there are other options, but not so much the secondary schools.

Oh I see. The catholic schools I went to were private (with a tuition) that must be why they didn't care lol.

 

[Fezzle]

I panic-bought a dress! It the one I posted earlier. I looked at it again and the only sizes they had left were UK 14 & 16. I am a 14 now but want to lose weight, but also could possibly get pregnant and bloated or have bigger boobs by the wedding too, so planned to hold off on dress buying, but even with the 14s there were only 3 left. It was only about £67 so not a big loss if it doesn't fit or look right I guess, and maybe then I can sell it on eBay. I am excited about it though if it does work out!

My goal is to be a size 12 (which is like a US size 8, or actually a 6 in a lot of US stores these days) by the wedding, especially as that's what most of my clothes are from before I met OH. They're all under the bed right now but are way better than my current selection of 'fat' clothes which are mostly cheap since I hoped they would just be temporary options! My boobs are usually a size or two bigger than the rest of me though, so it might be good having a bigger dress.

 

[Pirate]

So excited that you bought a dress!

 

[MellyH]

You can always take the 14 in How exciting!!!

 

[Lynny77]

Very exciting you bought a dress! And you can always get it altered!

 

[Fezzle]

Hopefully I like it as much in person! I have a feeling it's going to be too tight in the boob area but weight loss should help that too. It's good motivation to get fitter! On Saturday I'm going to an open day of OH's friend's wife who does exercise classes, so I'll be starting kettlebells again too.

OH and I talked about the wedding planning last night and decided we'll be happy to let the hotel organise almost everything (witnesses, bouquet, photography, etc) so all we need to decide are the rings and what to wear. OH has a thing for heels so said he's going to come shoe shopping with me! Also I'll need to decide how to wear my hair, and if I want to get it professionally done there.

 

[Pirate]

Letting someone else do the planning was the best decision that we made! I highly recommend it!

 

[DBZ34]

Fezzle! I can't believe I hadn't stopped by to stalk you wedding planning journal. It's all so exciting!!

Definitely agree about letting other people do the planning. I had a wedding planner (my godmother) and it was so nice. I had a few bits and bobs to do, but all I had to do on the day was show up. Much less stress for sure.

 

[Ameli]

Ooh, you bought a dress! Hope you'll post a pic of it on when you get it! Also, maybe you can have it altered when you reach your goal (or taken out if you get married while pregnant!).

 

[Cowgirl07]

Yay

 

[LillyTame]

Woohoo! Can't wait till you get your dress!

Even though my planner worked my nerves, I'm glad I had one on the day of the wedding. I'm sure the hotel's planner will be more professional than the one I picked.

 

[Fezzle]

Ugh, I finally got back on the scale and my Christmas break of eating loads of unhealthy food and no exercise has resulted in a 5 lb weight gain. I think most of the unhealthy food in our house is gone now though, and I went for a run today, so hopefully it'll shift quickly! Assuming we can do this wedding at the end of March (dependant on OH's job and me getting my divorce certificate), I have about 12 weeks.

I think the hotels in Gibraltar do loads of weddings, so I think they'll do a good job. I've seen websites for wedding planners down there that aren't tied to a hotel, though the reviews have been mixed. The whole wedding is not going to be hard to plan since we don't have to worry about invitations or a guest list, catering, dancing or any sort of order of events other than the wedding, getting photographs done and having some sort of nice meal for the two of us.

 

[Fezzle]

Here are the three hotels that are possibilities for location:

https://caletahotel.com/

https://www.rockhotelgibraltar.com/index.shtml

https://www.eliotthotel.com/

The top one is my favourite right now. It's a bit more out of the way on Gibraltar, but then again, it's not a very big place.

The other thing to decide- we're not going to tell anyone in advance about the wedding. But, I would want to tell my family before they see it on Facebook, which is how everyone else would find out (OH's mum isn't on Facebook). We'd probably call them after the wedding to let them know, but another option would be to call them beforehand and maybe even set something up so they can watch via Skype? I still like the idea of it being only OH and I involved though. But, it's still something I'm considering.

 

[Cowgirl07]

A few if my friends from college got married at Vegas and did the Skype thing. If you don't have them Skype maybe videotape it so they can see it later. The hotels look great

 

[Fezzle]

I had friends do a live video feed when they got married in New Zealand- I woke up in the middle of the night to watch it!

 

[confuzion]

The video chat thing sounds pretty awesome since you get to do it alone yet share it at the same time. I would understand if that took away from the privacy of it for the two of you though.

Yay for a dress! I agree with the other ladies that you could always take it in when you shed the pounds

 

[Fezzle]

I think the main issue would be that I'd be stressing about setting up an ipad and dealing with hotel wifi, when what I really want it no stress at all! Maybe I can get someone to record it on my phone and that will be enough.

Next marriage topic- before I met OH, I was ambivalent about getting married again, but I did think that if I did, I wouldn't change my name again. OH has made it clear that he expects me to change my name and would be bothered if I didn't. Here are my positive and negative reasons:

Positives:

• When we have children, we'll all have the same name. It'll be easier to have one family name, and also for things like paperwork.
• It'll make OH happy

Negatives:

• I'm 38 and feel quite attached to my current name
• I have some publications and am known in my academic community with this name
• Why should I be the one to change because of tradition? It's not like OH now owns me
• Lots of paperwork to change it

I don't mind either name (it's not like there's one that sounds horrible or bad with my first name), and I don't have any bad feelings toward my family (I have some friends who despite being feminists that would normally be against the tradition, hated their fathers so were happy to take their husband's name).

My plan so far has been to either keep my maiden name legally, but use OH's name socially; or change my name legally but still use my maiden name or hyphenate for work. But I'm not sure if that will make things even more confusing.

My friends are pretty much an even mix- some have kept their names, some have taken their husbands and some have done like I've just said above, so there really isn't any norm to follow for me.

 

[Pirate]

I changed my name. Part of it was because it was really important to hubs that I do, but my second reason was much more practical. I figured with a gender neutral first name that is often a last name and a maiden name that is a common man's first name that it would just be easier to have an obvious last name. I still publish under maiden-married but for the most part I just go by my married name. The difference between me and you though is that you are well established in your career whereas I was at the very beginning.

I'll be completely honest though, I still miss my maiden name. I still identify more with that then I do my married name. I wish that I'd made maiden-married my legal name.