first cycle actively trying (June 2015)

[lesondemavie]

Ahhh Jez - I love ACT!!! That is exactly the philosophy that is behind my words. I remember, in my clinical and diagnostic skills class, my professor challenged us all to say out loud, "My mother/brother/insert loved one here will die in a car accident today." When many of us wouldn't say it, he asked us why. They are afterall just words. There is no magic behind them. Even if they did die in a car accident, it wouldn't be our faults for uttering those words that day upon his request. His point was that words only have as much power as we give them. He wasn't my favorite professor, but I fell in love with ACT in his class, especially when we discussed it in terms of racism and sexism and other social issues. I find it so inspiring to think that you may be flawed in the sense that you have biased thoughts, but can still commit to behave in a way contrary to that (usually by grounding your behavior in a conflicting value). I also think it has great potential in the treatment of anxiety.

So yes, you're correct. I am in a helping field, and thank you so much for the compliment. I double majored in biological sciences and psychology, focusing on cognitive neuroscience, and then went on to earn my MA in Clinical Psychology. I specialized in Applied Behavior Analysis, which has its roots in physiology (go bio!). My thesis was largely based on RFT which is the theory upon which ACT is based. For the past 10 years, I've worked with children and adults on the autism spectrum and their families. It has its ups and downs, but every day is different and it is incredibly rewarding.

That is a beautiful positive girl! Have fun with the best part of ttc tonight!

 

[Jezika]

Les, I love that the ACT philosophy came through in your posts! And now that I know what you do, of course I'm not surprised at all. You either had some great training or were perfectly suited to it all along (but most likely both). I'm in my second year of a combined MA/PhD program in Clinical Psychology so I'm learning a lot of interesting stuff, and guess what - last year we had a prof ask us to do the exact same thing! She asked us to write down: "I want [special person] to die in a car accident." It was explained from a cognitive perspective as thought-action fusion and we discussed it more specifically in the context of OCD, but I like what it meant to you and wish we'd had more discussions around that aspect. But it certainly had a huge impact on me and sometimes I bust it out with friends because it really is quite poignant. I don't know a great deal about ACT because my school doesn't emphasize that orientation, but we do have some clinical rounds on it and I'm planning on going to a three-day workshop when Steve Hayes is in town later this year. From what I know about it, it definitely interests me and a lot of psychologists that I know in private practice have been using it to treat many different things with considerable success.

I'm excited that you think my OPK is positive! I really wasn't sure. I guess I will convince DH to BD again tonight, even though we did it last night and will probably do it tomorrow too. Hopefully he doesn't have any sperm count issues!

 

[wifeybby]

You guys are so smart! I wish I would go back to school, but the debt just crushes those ideas instantly. But now I realize, no wonder why you guys are so awesome! I think we make a great team - girls who know about psychology, nursing, accounting, biological sciences... No wonder why were so interesting lol

I seriously almost forgot to go to my RE for the HCG bloods! I was distracted by work and weather/snow. Saw the exit and was like OMG I was supposed to be there 10 minutes ago! Lol oops! Getting the blood draw yesterday was super quick, I was only at the office for 5 minutes in and out. So it didn't give me a chance to ask questions or talk, but they will be calling with the results sometime this morning.

 

[Velathria]

Wow I agree with wifey.. you guys are so smart and accomplished makes me feel like dirt now.
I've always wanted to go do classes for writing but my parents didn't support the idea and I couldn't afford it myself and I like writing in english then german. And it would've been in germany. But I've been looking up classes here in ireland. I really want to become a good writer but I feel like I still have a lot to learn on it. I know they have good grants here in ireland so I might actually apply. be so awesome to do.
Everyone always told me that I should become a psychiatrist because I can listen well and actually read between the lines a bit. But it would've been impossible to do. At least where I was from.

 

[Velathria]

And jez that is definitely a positive

 

[gina236]

I'm the same way wifey and vel. I have an associates degree but haven't moved onto my bachelor's because it's so damn expensive here. My friends have always said I should go into psychology but it's such a low paying profession here that it's not worth all the schooling. If money wasn't a problem I probably would have but to make enough just to pay loans you need a masters and to open your own practice and that's just way too much for me lol. Accounting was the easy road for me. My true passion is marine biology, but again, basically impossible to make a living doing it without moving far away from here. I have a friend I went to school with who has been down in Florida interning at a turtle sanctuary. Man am I jealous of her. Lol. But maybe one day if money isn't a problem I'll go back.

Today is the anniversary of DH and I dating. It's been 7 years time sure does fly.

 

[lesondemavie]

The loans are somewhat crushing, but the good news is you don't have to start paying them until you've graduated and are working for hopefully more money. I still have both grad school and undergrad loans. For grad school, I worked 60 hours a week as a program manager at a school district, and went to class 9-5 on Saturday and Sunday. It was tough, but at least I didn't have to take out loans for living expenses too. Since I passed my boards 2 years ago, we took every bit of my raise and threw it toward my loans to pay them off faster. It's frustrating living without the extra money, but just 3-4 more years and we'll be free...before I decide to go back for a phd

Point is, if you have a passion for something, it is absolutely doable and worth it. I loved my field, but couldn't move up without my MA. DH keeps saying he wants to go back, but he can't settle on one program. One day he comes home and says we're going to throw 100k (eek) a year toward law school, and then the next he's thinking about public health and working for the CDC. I've told him I'd do whatever it took, but only if he gives it 30 days and still wants to go all in. So far, nothing has passed the test. I hope he figures it out one day. I think he'd be a lot happier.

Vel - Writing classes sound like a great idea. Hope it works out for you!

Congrats on the anniversary Gina!

 

[wifeybby]

Happy anniversary, Gina! Aww!

Do NOT feel like dirt, Vel! I'm an LPN, which only took 11 months to achieve. I have a nursing license that I can do 90% of what an RN can do, but since its less education i get way less respect. LPNs are called "low paid nurse, little play nurse" etc. Its crap. I worked my ass off for my nursing license and just because I don't have an associates or bachelors no one thinks its good enough. Whenever I tell anyone I'm an LPN, their first question is ALWAYS "When are you going back for your RN?" Answer: Never and F you! Lol. But I know my stuff. I had a 92% GPA, was class president, the whole works. But espically in the school setting I get no respect. All these teachers think they're better and all knowing, because they have more education. But I'm pretty sure they don't teach you anything nursing related. Rant over. Lol

Blood test was negative, as expected. Thank you for wasting my money, doc.

 

[lesondemavie]

Haha agreed wifey! Some of my professors were absolute, egotistical jerks. Academia is a strange, strange world. A degree does not make anyone better than anyone else. We all just need to do what makes us happy, be happy for those around us who are doing the same, and respect people for who they are and the work they do. The letters after your name are meaningless without that. I have a few staff that I'm mentoring. They do such amazing work, but they went to a program that is fast, cheap, and not consistently great. They tell me that they learned more from me than they ever did in their classes. It kills me, because they've become such amazing clinicians, but they can't seem to pass their boards. Unfotunately, we can only get funding when we have those letters after our names...so it's going to hold them back for now. I'm running practice test sessions with them and going over test taking skills. Hopefully it helps!

Sorry for the wasted test, but glad you can move forward now

 

[Jezika]

It's true, letters after your name are just that. Anyone can do these things if they have the time, financial resources, motivation and ability to learn, but unfortunately it's the first two that often prevent people from doing it. I know tonnes of ridiculously smart people without degrees and the opposite too(!). Wifey, that sucks that people treat you differently. I felt the same before I had a degree when I was around people that did, but am I suddenly a different or smarter person now that I've been through school a bit? Definitely not. People read way too much into a title, even if two titles are separated only by the most arbitrary of things.

So I actually didn't get my BA till later on in my twenties, after I realized that working in finance really wasn't for me and that I did in fact really want to do psychology. It's just a shame that in many places you need to go the whole hog and do a PhD to get any kind of decent job (I know in some places in the States you can practice with an MA, and it's the same in some parts of Canada too). If I wanted to do something else, I'd be happy to do it, because it is ridiculous how much schooling you need - nine years if you include undergrad, the grad part of which includes coursework, TONNES of research and three practica, and then one year of internship and two ridiculously challenging licensure exams. There's a really funny video on YouTube called something like "So you want to be a psychologist" and it provides a tonne of compelling reasons not to do it. Buuut unfortunately this is the only thing I see myself doing. And luckily my grad program funds its students and there are also lots of scholarships to apply for. It's funny that I had to take a student loan out for my undergrad but actually make money from scholarships at grad school. My program will fund you to some extent (though teaching assistantships and stipends) even if you don't get scholarships, though. I know a lot of programs don't do that, which is really unfortunate because I'm sure it's a huge barrier for many people.

Vel, definitely look into some grants! They are certainly worth applying for. And if writing makes you happy, I would definitely pursue it. Doing what you love, even as a hobby, can be so fulfilling. If you're interested in counselling, I think there are some counselling courses in the UK that you can do. My friend is doing something like that, and you don't need a degree. Maybe eventually you could teach therapeutic writing!

Gina, happy anniversary!! And I'm also jealous of your friend who gets to work at a turtle sanctuary!

 

[Velathria]

It's sadly true with all that you have to have a degree.. I hate it. And I have met enough idiots that are doctors with a PhD. My dad is one of those people that never got to go to college to do what he wanted and he is crazy smart. He can do anything apparently he is too good for lower jobs and too under qualified for good jobs. It's annoying.
Its easier getting funds for it here. The main thing is what to do with my son. Depends when the course would be. If it's at night it be fine cause DF would be home but during the day he is at work and I have to pick up my son at 12 already from playschool.

Congrats on your anniversary gina

 

[Jezika]

It's at least something you can look into re: timing. Is a couple hours on a weekday daytime definitely out of the question? There might even be some online courses if you're really stuck. And I concur re: PhD

 

[Velathria]

Yeah was actually talking to my DF about it cause I don't know how it works here in ireland so yeah.

 

[Jezika]

Do some research on it. It's the first step and even that can be quite fulfilling and get you motivated.

 

[Velathria]

That's what I'm doing right now lol xD it's like your reading my mind xD

 

[Jezika]

Yay! I'm really excited for you. It took me so long to finally take the step of even looking into school, but it was a really exciting step. Let us know what you find!

 

[lesondemavie]

Hooray that's awesome Vel

 

[gina236]

go get it vel!! I'd look at online if you cant find a time that works out. Ive done online. It's alot more work but it's so convenient

 

[wifeybby]

Hi all, just checking in I've been through quite a bit with the laparoscopy. I made a journal entry about it if anyone I interested in all the details, the link is in my signature. Long story short, overall it went great and onto recovery. I have pain medication and an antiemetic that are getting me by comfortably. Hoping to feel good enough to return to work Tuesday, feeling confident I will. DH was totally my rock through it all, I've felt so loved and cared for. Looking forward to my next RE appointment in two weeks to move on to provera (if needed at that time) and CLOMID! Feeling so positive and committed, and had a real heart-to-heart with DH about doing anything we can to make this happen.

How are you all doing? I've been wondering about everyone!

PS: Changed my profile pic to a selfie from the preadmission room!

 

[lesondemavie]

That's wonderful wifey. Supportive DHs make everything conquerable! Tearing up here after a very emotional day. You, too, are so very strong!