first cycle actively trying (June 2015)

[Velathria]

i guess they just want to make 100% sure that you aren't. A bloodtest can find out much sooner then urine tests. God.. Imagine that comes back positive.. Mindblown XD

Do you have to pay for the bloodtest? That sucks then. Cause i mean if you are sure you aren't.. although better to be sure.
Let's hope you dont need Provera. Can't for you to start Clomid.

So going to the doctor today with my little one and going to ask for a sperm analysis for my DF and maybe to have her check me too.
It's always better to know what we are dealing with before moving on. We might not have tried for long but if there is something keeping us from conceiving then i'd like to know sooner then later. I'll keep you guys updated. I really hope everything is fine with both of us and it's just been bad luck, although at the same time it be a relief to find out that it might have been something so that we could take something and then conceive right away XD i dont know.. so confused

 

[gina236]

I dont have the focus to reply to everyone, sorry! Ill try later. Just wanted to give you guys an update on me for those wondering. This is copied from my journal..

"I tried to stay productive and not think about it but I ended up spending all Friday night crying. Cried myself to sleep a few times that night. But since then I have been okay. I tear up talking about it but I am focusing on the positive. As soon as these super cramps go away I will start training for my second tough mudder in august. If I were to get pregnant and stay pregnant this month it would put me at 27 weeks for the run. As long as I am able to and my doctor is okay with it I will still compete at that stage.

I am also working on my business. Hit a road block that I need to go around but I've got a plan to do it.

We also are working hard on our house renovations. Kitchen is almost done, spent all day Saturday cleaning. My hubby and I are not the neatest people so we need to do LOTS of cleaning before we can get the house ready to show. Hopefully we will be selling this summer! The pregnancy really put a time crunch on all this so it's actually relieving to have a little more time.

As far as ttc, I think we will just start ntnp for now. We seem to just naturally have sex at the right times so it will happen. I might even stop temping. I temped the entire time I was pregnant and now that I am bleeding I stopped (because I temp vaginally) and it's actually been nice to not worry about it. I will be making an appointment with my new doctor to talk about everything. We are now on month 11 of trying.

So all in all I am moving forward and staying focused on other things. I don't believe the whole you are more fertile after a Mc but we will see. I think people say that just to make you feel better. No one ever has any medical evidence so I can't believe it's true. I will be a mother some day and I can't wait for that day!"

 

[Velathria]

Good for you gina keep yourself busy a bit. I don't know if my DF and I will be able to dtd this month. Not enough at least. Son is still sick. Hope the meds work soon for the little guy not just so we can focus on Bd'ing but also I hate seeing him so sick.
Gina maybe now that you will be focusing on other stuff it will happen naturally. Doc will call to make a good appointment to get me and DF checked out. Unless we get a bfp this month. Lol.

 

[gina236]

Jez, keep goi mg with the bd'ing every other day and you will catch that fertile time! GL and FX for you!

Les, that garden looks amazing! I hope it works out and you get it! How are you doing? I read your journal yesterday and had tears. You have such a way with words. Sending my love

Vel, usually when my sex drive is really high I am either O'ing or have AF (want what you can't have sort of thing lol) i hope you and your DS are feeling better. What did the doctor say?

Wifey, hope your test goes well today! Thinking of you!

 

[Velathria]

Hey gina well my cough is getting worse but it's ok. Just not getting any sleep because my son wakes up alot because either because of his ear or stomach. Doctor even made sure last night that we would get the medicine for the little one. One of the pharmacies drove to our house and dropped it off at 8 pm.. I am super surprised by the Irish doctors. They pretty much do everything to help you. DS has an ear infection plus his throat is red and swollen and so are his glands and to top it off he has a stomach flu too. It's horrible. Wish I could take it all away from him. I'd rather be sick then him.

I am feeling quite positive this month and strangely while the little one is asleep for a while we have the best in the longest time.
I think the whole pressure of ttc has gotten to both of us and I just told him I Want to have fun with him again. And we are. I didn't want it to stop xD
Maybe this time it'll catch on tested opk this morning negative but a little line is already seeable, so might Ovulate soon. Can't wait for the end of this cycle.

Wifey- got my fingers crossed for you for your test too.

 

[gina236]

Your poor son! That sounds awful! It can't just be one thing. Has to be a bunch of sicknesses piled together. I hope the medicine starts working for him. That's awesome that they delivered it. Places would never do that around here. If you don't pick it up in time your SOL. Lol.

The best way to do it is just have fun. DH an I have given up trying to time it and everything. We both don't have really high sex drives. (Even though he used to be quite promiscuous) We usually have sex once or twice a month we both say we wish we did more but it just never happens unless we really try. But my body knows when I'm fertile so that's usually the time I am in the mood to dtd. Really hope this is it for you!!

 

[Velathria]

I know right?! He seems at least a bit better today. I just hope it keeps getting better. I can't even get anything done in the house either.

I think crying it out really helped me a week ago and had me and DF connect emotionally again. I hope it works out for me this month too.

Well maybe the ntnp will work better for you guys

 

[wifeybby]

Of course I was wondering about you, Gina! I hope you enjoy some time NTNP and focusing on other aspects. It sounds like exactly what you need. You never know when you'll get a big surprise! With the being extra fertile after MC thing, I'm not sure - I haven't found sound reseach

Vel - I would be absolutely mindblown if it came back positive! I have zero hopes up for that though.. They don't charge me at the time of visit, they process it through my insurance and send me a bill. So at some point I'll be paying for it, which is frustrating. But being a nurse myself, I understand why they want to make 100% sure; they don't want a lawsuit on their hands. In the US, medical professionals have to be so careful with everything because they're afraid to get sued. It's so stupid.

I agree, there is no harm is doing a SA or preliminary testing on you. It's better to know the concerns sooner rather than later - save yourself a lot of heartache and frustration. What I love about getting myself checked out is that now I have a plan. It can be something as simple as a vitamin D deficiency, or low hormone levels. It's so much better to do what you need to do rather than trying over and over again and wondering what's wrong. I hope you and DS feel better soon. And keeping BD fun and sexy is important! Glad to hear you guys get to have fun TBH,and TMI - our bed sucks! lol we have a memory foam mattress so you can't really move around too much, you kinda just sink in wherever you are - so we BD everywhere BUT bed it keeps it interesting, fun and romantic too. We feel like teenagers again sometimes. but it also keeps the sheets clean!

I've been so irritable lately, but I think it's just life. I finally got a new permanent hire nurse for my clinic, so training is always difficult. She's done great so far though, I really think she's going to work out! I love working in the school systems, but to be at work at 6:30am, DH and I get up at 4-4:30am (his shift starts at 6:30 am too, with 45 minute drivetime for us both) it gets old. I really just want the SAHM life lol

I'll keep ya'll posted!

 

[Jezika]

Gina - I hope the ntnp goes well. It must be a relief to just relax a bit, and despite how things turned out, it's pretty neat that you get to do tough mudder again. I always wondered if I could do it, but I'm such a wimp when it comes to expending physical effort. Was it super difficult? DH runs marathons regularly, so he puts me to shame, and also puts me off stuff like that! I'm also the same as you re: BDing. DH and I always say we want to do it more, but 1-2 times a month was probably the average. Of course now with it being every other day, he's like "arrgghhhh you're taking advantage of me!" even though he was the one that wanted it more often, while I was always too tired or lazy. I'm so bad. And I'm starting to see it's actually quite stressful to TTC in such a technical way. My doc even warned me of that.

Vel - Glad your DS is starting to feel a little bit better. Poor kid having to go through all that, all at the same time. I'm sure he's going to love it once he feels better and can get back into things (and you too!). What's your secret to the magic BDing?!

Wifey - Irritable is what I am a lot of the time! :$ Glad you found a new nurse, but WOW to getting up at 4am. I don't know how nurses do it. I had a patient once who did night shifts every other week and the toll of it was so awful. At least you're only having to get up early, but still must be a pain. I assume you get some days off per week and have a nice lie-in?

AFM, I found out I might have PCOS, but I have absolutely no other symptoms and the U/S I had done two years ago showed up nothing, so apparently it's curious. But now I'm putting that together with the fact that my OPKs tell me I'm still not about to O, and I'm on CD14 of a reliable 25/26-day cycle. If I O in two days' time, that gives me an LP of just 9/10 days, which is concerning. I only use OPKs every morning and not sure if I should be using them multiple times a day to catch my LH surge. I heard it can be only 12 hours long for some women. Over the past week, the test line has *maybe* verrrrry slightly increase in darkness, but still much fainter than the control line. My temp is starting to go up a bit (see may chart below) but I've no idea if that truly is post-O and I missed it with OPKs, or whether I'm going to ovulate way too late to conceive or not ovulate at all. It's really getting me down

 

[lesondemavie]

Jez - I wouldn't worry too much about the LP. Took 3 cycles for everything to even out after bcp for me, but after that my LP was consistently just 10 days for 3 more cycles with the 3rd resulting in my BFP. Clearly, that gave at least one little eggy time enough to dig in in there, and I carried it for 6.5 weeks (and then hung on to it after it stopped growing for a while after).. The MMC was probably just a fluke genetic abnormality in the egg or sperm and nothing to do with my LP. Sucks that of all those cycles that's the one that stuck, but that's life I suppose. Anyway, I always worried about my LP, but seems like that was wasted stress now. If it's consistently under 10, then I would worry...but one off cycle or even a consistent LP of 10 days doesn't necessarily mean anything is wrong at all.

 

[gina236]

Jez the hardest part I found of the tough mudder was the distance. I loved the obstacles but running (or walking for me) the 10-12 miles was killer! But now that I have done one I can't wait to do another!

If you have not O'd yet, which it doesn't look like you have to me, and you still have your relatively short cycle, it could be a progesterone issue. That is usually the cause of short LP. They can do a blood test at cd 21 to see what your progesterone levels are to see if its an issue. Also for the opks they say best time to take them is between noon and 3ish. Some women do have very short surges so it's possible to miss the positive but you should at least get an almost positive if you are doing it once a day.

Wifey, that sounds so hectic! But at least you found someone and they are being trained. I am right there with you waiting on that SAHM life! I hate where I work and have said I wouldn't leave until I have a baby as I would feel bad putting all that extra work on my supervisor but I also thought I would have a baby by now. Can't wait to hear how it goes today!

 

[Jezika]

Les - that actually does make me feel a little bit better to know that a 10-day LP is enough to conceive, and I know I've seen others for whom it happened even with 8-9. But of course, me being me, I'm now worried it's going to be less than that. My average cycle length is 25 (based on 19 past cycles), but for the past five months its been 23, 24, 25, 26 and 26, so maybe it looks like it's lengthening? I have had two 27-day cycles in that 19-cycle timeframe, so it is possible. That would at least give me a little leeway. I haven't been on BCP for 3-4 years now so it shouldn't be to do with that. Anyway, I think your message is to try not to worry, so I'll do my best to hold onto that!

Gina - Ah, I think the running would get me too. I find it so boring. The obstacles look pretty fun and I think it would be great exercise. I wish there were gyms that had obstacle courses rather than boring machines. Actually, I think there might be something like that here in Toronto, like an adult playground. As for the possible progesterone issue, that's a good point. I feel like my doc does not want to see me again about all this, though, and will just reiterate that I should keep trying and come back in 6 months. Unless I go back to her and say I've learned all these things about my LP (in which case, as Les said, I might want to make sure it's not just a one-off). Argh. How on earth are there 7 billion people on this earth?!

 

[Jezika]

Oh, I wanted to show you my OPKs to see what you thought. CD14 was this morning and the others are from some time before, I just never thought to label them (nor keep them, actually - I fished them out of the bin...)

 

[gina236]

It's definitely getting there! Looks like you will get a positive in the next day or so! Now that you are tracking I would give it a few cycles to see what your lp really is. I feel like doctors get annoyed when you self diagnose anything so I wouldn't run right to the doctor for 1 bad cycle. If it's consistent that you have less than a 10 day lp it's worth looking into. Might just be a simple vitamin deficiency. Track it for a few months and if you aren't pregnant yet then bring it up to your doctor.

I would love a gym like that! They now do half mudders this year in some locations. Half the distance and I think half the obstacles but might be a good starting point if you wanna get into it!

 

[Jezika]

Hmm, I hope you're right and O come quickly! Someone said I might want to test more regularly too, as I only do it in the morning and sometimes a short surge can be missed.

I'll have to look into a half tough mudder. I think the full one might just kill me! Here's the thing in Toronto https://www.blogto.com/fitness/pursuit-ocr-toronto Would be great if they had them everywhere!

 

[gina236]

Wow that looks so fun!! If I ever travel up that way I am so checking it out! Lol. I still surprise myself that I did the TM. I agreed to it in like January of last year. My friend that put it together passed away in April. I almost backed out but decided I had to do it for him. Now the team he put together is going to do it again this year together! It's not as bad as you think. The length is hard but every mile you have an obstacle or two so it does break it up.

Now that your opks are showing lines I would start taking them 2 or 3 times a day just to be sure you don't miss it.

 

[Jezika]

Gosh, that's sad about your friend passing away, though it was definitely great that you went ahead and did it for him. To keep doing it is probably a nice way to honour him too, and fun and healthy for you. I could maybe do the length if it's broken up by obstacles. Actually, I could definitely do it if I walk. I walk about 8km a day at a pretty fast pace, 3-4 days a week (to get to school because I hate relying on the subway, not because I loooove walking) so I'm down with a bit of walking, but the second I break into a jog I feel like I'm slowly dying. I'm sure a lot of it is psychological.

As for the OPKs, I will definitely test again in an hour or two. The only problem is that I'm currently trying to get rid of a UTI and also found out yesterday that I have an enlarged kidney, so I should be drinking loooooads of water. I haven't done that yet, but I'll probably be strict about it once I test again later. I heard that if your catch the actual surge, it doesn't matter how diluted your pee is. Is that right? I guess it might depend on individual peak LH levels.

 

[Velathria]

Wifey- Yeah it's always better to get checked out. I hope it's nothing too serious. Our bed sucks too to have sex in xD it squeaks and creaks like crazy xD so we do it all over the house. Lol. XD and I am so glad it's working out again

Jez- Little one got a rash now all over his cheeks and legs and arms. I hope it's just a viral rash nothing else. Gonna go to the doc tomorrow again. I don't know what my secret is xD I think our talk just had us connect all over again and I've lost a bit of weight so I am feeling sexy in my skin so that makes it easier
Maybe you should try some vitex. I hear that helps with regulating your cycles.
Gina- I don't think I could do the TM either xD I'd die. Lol but it sounds like fun

 

[lesondemavie]

Jez - Not so much to not worry. I find that entirely impossible, and I get so annoyed when people tell me that. Sorry I phrased poorly! The worry is there and will always be there, but I just wanted you to know that maybe just maybe it's all ok. I also wanted you to know at least one other person out there had those same worries and well at least that part turned out ok. A worry is just a thought about a possibility...a possibility that may not even be probable or real. If you let it though that thought could consume you and suck away all your happiness. While I was pg I was terrified of MC, but I chose to focus more on the joy and bliss...and now I'm so very glad that I did. I'm pretty sure it's the only thing getting me through these tough days. You're trying for a baby and although it's hard to not have one in your arms yet...how utterly amazing and beautiful is that? We will all be moms (or moms again) one day. We want it that much, which means we are loved and can love. Ah gosh sorry...I've been so gushy lately. I need to be . Lifts my spirits.

That opk looks great. I'm sure you'll get a blazing positive soon. I tested 3x/day the first month and then eased up after that once I knew around when to test. Hope it all works out!

 

[Jezika]

Vel - oh no re: the rash! I know the body can do all sorts of things when there's an infection so hopefully it's nothing major to worry about. I knew of some kids who had rashes all the time and it was never serious. Still, good thing to get it checked out and make sure he's on the mend. He's lucky to have you. I remember feeling so comforted by having my mum to care for me when I was sick, even with just a sore throat. So much so, in fact, that it kind of sucked not to have that anymore when I moved out at 19! As for the BDing, connecting emotionally is a total aphrodisiac for sure. I must admit I haven't done that in any intense way for a while with DH, though we've been generally closer over the past few months. Strange how relationships change over time (we've been together 8+ years).

Les - I am guessing you're in some sort of caring profession, and if you're not, you really should be. Honestly, you're so inspirational and/or comforting every single time! I'm training to be a psychologist and so I'm well aware of the things you said, yet I find it hard to pinpoint them in myself, let alone change them. You're absolutely right, though. And that reminds me to finish reading my therapist manual on acceptance and commitment therapy

Also, here is another OPK I did a few hours ago. Do you guys think it's positive? Either way, it totally suggests I was worrying unnecessarily (and also explains why we got a BFN last month - it's likely we did not BD in my fertile window!). Although if it IS positive, now the question is whether we should BD tonight. We've been doing it every other day so we would be due to do it tomorrow. I thought that was fine, but I know some say that doing in O day might be too late (and if we don't do it tonight, we won't be doing it the night before O either). What do y'all think? (Just to remind you, the one that says CD14 was from this morning at 11:45am and the one at the top was from 5:10pm).