first cycle actively trying (June 2015)

[gina236]

Vel I am so frustrated for you!! Wth! Really hope it's just a heavy IB but only time will tell. If it doesn't act like normal af then take a test in a few days. Who knows

Jez the tea is moon time tea. Hopefully this link works

Organic Fertility Tea, 30 Teabags https://www.amazon.com/dp/B008AJPXKU/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_INWXwb7W797V8

FX for you. Symptom spotting sucks but that's what I like FF for. I always try to put in my symptoms so I can look back at it in future cycles.

Wifey sorry people at work are being catty. That's so annoying. We have some people like that at my work and I just try to avoid them.

As for the monster/coffee talk. It's actually really funny. I don't drink coffee at all. I would always see how my parents were addicted to the caffeine so I never wanted to aquire the taste for it because I didn't want to be like that. So instead I drank monster I would have been better off drinking coffee but just had it in my head that coffee was bad haha. I used to work full time and go to school full time so I needed the caffeine to stay awake on such little sleep. That was when I was 19. I turn 25 this weekend and still haven't kicked the habbit.

So afm idk if we are even going to try this month. I got another low on my moniter and they should be at least high by now. This morning my temp went up a little and I thought oh no what if I ovulated and thought about waking hubby up to dtd since we didn't last night but I really didn't even want to. I think my mental state is still a little too off to think about being pregnant right now. And I still have this persistent pain in my side. It's pretty much a constant feeling of needing to have a BM or pass gas or something. It makes it really hard to last time we did dh had to stop because he could tell I was in pain and not fully enjoying it. As much as i want a baby asap I'm scared of getting pregnant again. It just never seems to work out. Ugh idk I'll figure something out.

 

[wifeybby]

The good thing about the catty, rude, miserable coworkers is that they're in the classrooms and I'm in my clinic so there's a good bit of distance. But I go out into the classrooms/cafeteria to take care of the kids, no one comes to the clinic, so they're only like that when I go do something. I focus on the student and ignore the aides. They can whisper, laugh and smirk all they want. I move on, they don't.

Your feelings are understandable, Gina. I would feel the same way and imagine myself going NTNP a month or two after that. Do you have any appointments to talk about the RPL with your GP or OBGYN?

AFM, still very light spotting after the laparoscopy. RE's office said two weeks of spotting is normal, so hopefully it dies down and DH and I can have some belated anniversary intimacy this weekend. This is day 2 off the pain meds and I'm feeling better. After a rough day at work yesterday it was just a blah evening on the couch and ordered pizza. I was in more pain yesterday, so I'm just looking forward to the weekend at this point. I wish there was stuff to do around here, we live in the country and are literally surrounded by farms. It's turned us into homebodies, which we love, but sometimes you wish you could just have a night out in the city and see something, eat somewhere new or even just simple change of scenery. Anywhere is literally a 1-2 hour drive. Blah.

 

[Jezika]

Vel - I hope you get some clarity with what's going on. If it is AF and this was a short cycle, hopefully that wipes the slate clean. Did you do something differently that might have messed a bit with your cycle? I know it can definitely happen as a one-off regardless.

Gina - I can imagine it's easy to build up a fear of TTC when things have gone wrong. I feel like I'm getting bad enough now without having had any aversive experiences, nor been trying long. If you have the time, then for sure it may be a good idea to just take it easy and, perhaps most importantly (and I doubt I could do this), force yourself not to test until you're definitely quite late. Somewhat unrelatedly, this morning I thought it was funny... I've been all wrapped up in obsessive TTC thoughts and have kind of lost sight of what comes out the other end. Then I had this moment of absolute terror at how I could even handle adjusting my life to a baby and how it would be the complete opposite of what my life is like now (it's busy now, but I can procrastinate if I want to, make a coffee and sip it quietly in front of my laptop, plan out what errands I'll do during the day, sleep in several times a week etc.). Of course I'd be happy to lose all that when the time comes because I'll love the little munchkin like nothing else, but I have to say I was a little bit more at peace with waiting when I thought about all those things.

Wifey - Truly, I love your attitude of not letting workplace issues get to you. It can be so hard not to! I hope you recover quickly from the lap. How soon did you say you can start trying? Also, your life out in the country sounds so idyllic! DH and I would love to be somewhere like that, as we are definitely homebodies. We live right in the city so I'm sure we take all the amenities here for granted, but we love nature/peace/quiet and it would be so nice to be right in the middle of it. Having said that, nothing is ever as perfect as you imagine and it's easy to get used to things, so I see your point. I really don't want to have nights out in the city, like ever, but the second I move away, I probably will!

P.S. I just put a tiny bit of Bailey's in my coffee. I felt okay with it because it's not sugar, but not only is it super high in sugar content, but is also obviously alcoholic. I'm terrible. Why is sugar so addictive?!

P.P.S. This is a bit random, but I was thinking about a few weeks ago when I posted stats on how long it takes women to conceive on average. I wondered why I was the only one who felt comforted by it. I went back to check the stats again today (I'm obsessed, remember) and suddenly realized that if you look at just the percentages, the message seems to be that the largest number of women conceive within four years, which is of course disheartening at face value. Although that's technically true, each percentage at each time point also includes the women at all previous time points (so although 90-something % of women conceive within four years, that includes the 60-something % who conceive in just three months). So I was looking at it as I am more likely to conceive within three cycles than not conceive, and if that doesn't happen, that's okay because it's very likely I'll conceive by cycle six, and if that doesn't happen, that's okay because my chances of conceiving within a year are super high, and if THAT doesn't happen, it's really quite unlikely that it will take more than four years. Does that make sense?

 

[wifeybby]

I love baileys in my coffe, Jez! Yum!

They said intercourse is fine as long as you feel up to it. I had a negative blood and urine test before the lap, then have spotted ever since.. So technically i think I'm still caught up on a long ass cycle. Again. As always. I guess I'm going to have to wait until my appt on the first to start provera and to induce AF. AS annoying as it all is, I'm glad I can start fresh on march 1st with the provera so that way I don't have to wait another cycle for Clomid. I really hope I get my BFP on clomid because I'm so unbelievably sick of 32-45 day cycles.

 

[Velathria]

Hey guys so it definitely was my period because I'm still bleeding and I have cramps along with it. But like you said wifey maybe there is a reason for it.
And now that I think about it.. in April me and my DF are going to a anime con and we want to have a few drinks there too and the little one will be staying with MIL so we'll be staying the night there. It be ok if I'm not pregnant before that. Not that I'm preventing if it does... also I've noticed that I've been thinking too much about all this and everything has just been about getting pregnant. I need to do something to distract myself a bit. Think I'm gonna start yoga classes and that writer course

 

[Velathria]

Lol just caught up reading. Yeah I was frustrated at first but I've talked to my fiance and he said he thinks I'm too obsessed with it which is probably why it's not working. I could be stressing too much about it. Which actually sounds pretty right xD I have been stressing too much. It's literally the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about hen I go to sleep. It's hard to shake but I'm gonna try taking it on a but relaxed.

Jezika- those percentages do calm me now. Atleast I know that I should have a pretty high chance to get it when we tried for a year. so at least that is comforting. I still want to go to the doctor to find out if everything is fine on our end so we will be doing that but I will try to see it more relaxed.
And what brought on my early period? Maybe a bit of too much stressing and my sickness. It's hit me pretty bad now with fever and all.

Gina- thanks I don't think it is IB ... it's too strong of bleeding, sadly. But I know it will happen sometimes probably when I least expect it xD I'm sorry you are scared of ttc'Ing again but that's understandable. If that would've happened to me I wouldn't be able to go ahead and keep going like nothing happened. So take your time. Maybe a month off will do some good
Get your body ready again will you be going to the doctor now then because of that ordeal?

 

[lesondemavie]

Jez - I think what was hard is that we were all on cycle 6+ when you shared the stats. When I saw those stats (and I had seen them before) I looked at that 3 month mark and thought the majority of women are pg and I'm not, and then at the 6 month mark and thought the vast majority of women are pg and well for a bit there I thought I wasn't. Then I looked ahead, and the increase just gets smaller and smaller which makes sense, but feels discouraging. Passing those markers feels like your failing some sort of test that everyone else is passing. Even though we have been unlucky in other ways and even though it was hard, I am so very fortunate that it happened for us on cycle 6. I will never take that for granted.

Stats are a hard thing because they're generalizations that gloss over so many factors, and well we're not numbers. At the ob the other day, I saw on my file MMC. They say the chances of that are 1%. It was so unlikely. I took comfort in that, and yet it happened to me. I'm so very glad that it doesn't happen to more women, but the odds being so low do not matter when it happens to you. The opposite is true too. The odds being so high don't really matter when it's not happening for you. At least in terms of how it feels.

Vel - I'm so very sorry and I'm just going to leave it at that. Feel better soon!

 

[Jezika]

Les - that's true... I did not look at it like that. I can imagine I'd feel the same if I was further on in TTC, so in that regard it was perhaps insensitive of me to post the stats. I'm so sorry if it made anyone feel crappy.

 

[lesondemavie]

Jez - No need to apologize at all! You shared something that helped you and that's wonderful! You just seemed like you were trying to understand better why we didn't all find the same comfort in it that you did. I can only share my own perspective. I did always look ahead with those stats in mind and chant given enough time the vast majority of us will conceive a baby naturally. It's just that time part that can be hard.

 

[Jezika]

Yeah, for sure. I absolutely see that - just wish I had thought about that before!

How's everyone doing today? Any plans for the weekend tomorrow? I'm having to do school work, which of course I always leave till the last minute. Since my temps seem to be dropping, I'm expecting AF tomorrow, which would be in line with my 25-day average cycle. The only weird thing is that I had cramping two days ago and yesterday morning, but not since then, and my boobs started getting sore a few days ago but are much less sore now. I think I have different symptoms before AF every single time.

 

[Velathria]

Jez- you don't have to apologize I agree with les... you were just sharing something that helped you. we didn't mean to make you feel bad after lol. It actually does help a little I guess. Although I've read and heard different stats all over the place so I don't take those numbers too serious. Lol I'll just wait and hope it can happen anytime.
Les- I guess you are the exception then the rule xD
I guess in some ways that can be good or bad. I just really hope it doesn't happen again then if the percentage is so low. And a hug is all I need thanks. I feel bad feeling like crap about this because you guys are having a worse time then me. So right back

Gina- how are you doing?

Wifey - how are you feeling? Hope the pain is better and especially finally gone.

AFM so period lasted two days and I checked again on my app and by what it says I would've ovulated on cd 5 during my last period and then had this one at cd 16 and now had it for two days. So I just hope this was just a one time thing and that the next cycle is normal again.

 

[wifeybby]

Don't feel bad, Vel -- its equally frustrating to have a short unexplained cycle just as if it were long. Your frustration over this cycle is totally normal and understandable. We're all at different points in the journey but we can all relate. It all sucks to be honest lol I can't wait until we just all get together in the pregnancy or family threads rather than TTCs. And we will! Hang in there future bump bud

Hope you've spent the weekend relaxing lesondemavie!

I'm feeling about 100% better now! Minimal cramps/twinges remain but I'm pain free and no more spotting, even after BD. The followup is in 9 days and hopefully it'll be great to get started on the next cycle. Trying to find some positive research on Clomid, esp with PCOS. I am so very hopeful for it because all of my initial testing has been looking great and DH's results are on my side. Hopefully I'll just O when I'm supposed to with timed BD and leave it up to fate, of course. RE said he wanted to do monitored Clomid cycles, I'm not sure what all that involves. Sounds like its different for each Dr, some do bloods, some do ultrasounds, some do both and then some - idk. I have total faith in my RE to do what's best, I know he knows his stuff. If you guys know or cross by anything Clomid related in your research, I would so love if you passed something onto me. I know stats and stuff get tricky, but its nice to read up ahead of time to know what to expect realistically.

 

[Jezika]

Wifey - I don't know whether this is the kind of thing you're looking for. Looks like almost three quarters of "sub fertile" women with PCOS features conceived within six cycles when using clomiphene/Clomid (and that only 50% conceived within the same time if metformin was used in addition to clomiphene).

 

[wifeybby]

Yes! Thank you, Jez I can't see the full article because I'm not subscribed through EbscoHost but from the abstract it sounds positive, which is great. I am on Metformin as well, but considering that I don't really stand a chance without doing these medications I know I'm doing what's best for me. Going from 0% odds (being annovulatory) to 50% is good to hear! I think I'll search for some PCOS threads and success stories here on BnB. Also interested in seeing what RE thinks about adding a trigger shot with the Clomid in a cycle or two if we get that far with it. Of course, like everyone else who gets this prescription, I hope it works first time but I know that's a long shot and probably won't happen for me. Just praying a lot about it and hanging onto hope - and trust in my RE's plan!

 

[Jezika]

Sounds like a good plan, Wifey! I didn't know you were taking metformin too, though I've actually seen a lot of good things about metformin on the boards as well. If it's helpful, you could also do a search on FF for charts using Clomid/metformin that resulted in pregnancy. I remember seeing a tonne of Clomid pregnancy charts when I was obsessively searching.

AFM, I'm at 12DPO and PAOS with FMU this morning. My temps have been dropping and AF is due today or tomorrow so I was not surprised to see BFN, even after five minutes. But then when I looked at 10 minutes, I saw a definite faint line. I've not seen evaps on Wondfos before... What do you guys think?

 

[lesondemavie]

Jez - I do see a line on the inverted photo, and I think 5-10 minutes is reasonable. I think Gina uses wondfos so maybe she can help more than me. I've read that they're extremely sensitive, and I've seen posts about false positives with them. I've even read some stories about false positives with these and other ICs due to certain drinks like apple juice and cola (weird right?). When I first saw a faint line on my IC at 10DPO I was so afraid it was line eye. I didn't want to get my hopes up and then come crashing down. I had two other brands of ICs - both faint lines, and then confirmed later that day with frer and digital. We're all different though, so it's hard to say. I'm cautiously excited for you! You'll know one way or the other soon enough! Keep us posted

 

[Jezika]

I have one FRER that I was planning to use later on today after a 4- or 5-hour hold, but a friend said it's best to wait till the morning. What do you think? Luckily I don't drink apple juice or cola, though I'm sure there are plenty of other things that can interfere. Still, I'm not getting excited just yet, even if FRER confirms.

 

[lesondemavie]

Up to you. I ran out and did the frer that day at 2 pm. The ICs were faint but the frer was clear. My lines always seemed darker in the afternoon. I figured that all three couldn't be wrong.

These were my ICs:

 

[Jezika]

Hmm I just read a bunch of older posts about false positive wondfos and evap lines after you mentioned that, so now I'm a lot more cautious, which is fine. Just odd 'cause all my other wondfos are stark white, though of course there can be variation between tests. I would do maybe another IC later this afternoon but I have to drink lots of water because of kidney thing and I'd be frustrated to see a definite BFN, so I'll wait till tomorrow. Ideally, I would ignore the possible BFP and just see if my period is late. It should come today, but tomorrow or day after are also very possible. Wednesday would be unprecedented, though. But I don't have that much restraint anyway.

 

[lesondemavie]

Sounds like a good plan Jez I'll be over here rooting for you!