Found this article on the sun website - what are you thoughts

[MrsBandEgglet]

Gender disappointment is a real thing unfortunately.

I do think she should stop having babies though.

I agree with this. It took me five agonising years to get pregnant with Arf, there were so many points where I seriously never thought I would never ever be a mummy But, that didn't stop me from feeling very anxious that Pud is a girl. I felt comfortable with boys and I did think I'd have another boy and yes I wanted another boy. I'm very happy to be having a little girl but I won't deny I'm daunted. It hurts when your feelings are dismissed as "sickening" etc, you really can't help how you feel Although, I think to publish her story and therefore allowing her sons to eventually read and learn about how she felt is tactless to say the least and she should have exercised a bit of discretion, for her boy's sake. xx

 

[storm4mozza]

personally i dont care what gender i have as long as he or she is healthy and happy but alot of people get gender dissapointment including a friend of mine so i cant say i can judge people for how they feel. some people dont feel complete without a certain gender. My friend had 4 boys and always wanted a girl, she was dissapointed but still loves her boys, she is now pregnant again and hoping for a girl.

i didnt read about the illegal procedure as i dont wish to, but alot of people get gender dissapointment it cant be helped.

this is just my personal opinion so hoping i dont get any horrible remarks -_-

 

[AppleBlossom]

I find it quite sad. Gender disappointment is a genuine thing. I don't think it's wrong to want to have a girl after having 5 boys. And she said it's not that she didn't love her sons, just that she would like a girl this time. I don't necessarily agree with the procedure she is having but then again, I have never had to go through gender disappointment so I don't think it's right for me to judge

 

[special_kala]

Gender disappointment is a real thing unfortunately.

I do think she should stop having babies though.

I agree with this. It took me five agonising years to get pregnant with Arf, there were so many points where I seriously never thought I would never ever be a mummy But, that didn't stop me from feeling very anxious that Pud is a girl. I felt comfortable with boys and I did think I'd have another boy and yes I wanted another boy. I'm very happy to be having a little girl but I won't deny I'm daunted. It hurts when your feelings are dismissed as "sickening" etc, you really can't help how you feel Although, I think to publish her story and therefore allowing her sons to eventually read and learn about how she felt is tactless to say the least and she should have exercised a bit of discretion, for her boy's sake. xx

I think there is a big difference in how you feel and how this woman comes across. If im honest i have a slight preference for this baby being a girl as the idea of a boy makes me anxious but then i think its normal to feel like that. Most people feel anxious about the unknown and this is just the same.

The fact this woman is going out of her way to have he preferred sex to me is sickening. Her sons will know that although they are loved they are not infact what their mum wanted and she clearly isnt content with them.

I wonder what will happen if she gets her longed for daughter. Surely after all this time there will be favoritism in a big way.

What if the girl shes wanted isnt the girl she gets? Not all girls like dressing up and dancing and playing with dolls. Will she be just as disappointed in her girl baby and want another one that matches her dream?

If my bump is a boy i will be more nervous the if it is a girl i mean....what do you do with a boy! and a willy! They wee about the place dont they! It doesnt mean i wont be happy that its a boy or thats its healthy and im sure its the same for you

 

[LaLovemyboys]

I think it's quite sad that we are all here judging this lady. She wants a girl after so many boys what is wrong with that. Technology allows it so why not use it. If this technology prevents many babies from being aborted I'm all for it. Beautiful baby girls are killed in China every day. I'm sure she loves her boys more then anything. I am a mom of boys too and I absolutely adore them to pieces and wouldn't trade them for anything in the world but sure I would love a daughter one day too. I do think it's unfair of people to judge her for using PGD. The people that do have gender disappointment deserve support instead of bashing. Many are wonderful moms who just want a chance to raise both sexes.

 

[smokey]

I think it's quite sad that we are all here judging this lady. She wants a girl after so many boys what is wrong with that. Technology allows it so why not use it. If this technology prevents many babies from being aborted I'm all for it. Beautiful baby girls are killed in China every day. I'm sure she loves her boys more then anything. I am a mom of boys too and I absolutely adore them to pieces and wouldn't trade them for anything in the world but sure I would love a daughter one day too. I do think it's unfair of people to judge her for using PGD. The people that do have gender disappointment deserve support instead of bashing. Many are wonderful moms who just want a chance to raise both sexes.

I agree but am slightly intrigued of who your main username might be

 

[LaLovemyboys]

Hmm I just came up with it. I love your pics by the way. This is my first time on here but this is something I feel strongly about because those with disappointment should have a place to get support just like those with postpartum need support so they can continue to be great moms to their kids.

 

[vaniilla]

I don't have a gender preference personally but I know someone that is battling with it and its disheartening to see it being portrayed in such a way,

in a way its good that she went to the papers, its something that needs awareness although maybe a paper like the sun wasn't the best choice, personally I don't think anyone has the right to judge, everyone suffers their own problems in their own way but they shouldn't be subjected to other peoples ridicule simply because they can't relate, how many times have pregnant women been judged by those ttc that they should just be happy they're pregnant at all even though they're suffering from multiple problems, or people with pnd that they should just "get a grip" and stop being selfish and enjoy being a parent, or those that have a child but can't have more, people shouldn't judge what they can't understand, its very easy to sit and judge, but just remember while we do that people are doing the same thing to us.

 

[annawrigley]

I just wonder what reason she gave to her boys for having the photo shoot?
"Why do we have to have our picture taken?"
"Mummys doing a newspaper article"
"What about?"
"Erm.... Oh shit... Nothing"
*Oldest son Googles his mum's name*


Very selfish putting it in the paper IMO. And I dont agree with gender selection, but I have always pictured myself having a girl at some point in my life, I'm not stressing about it because I'm only young and have plenty of time for that but if I couldn't I would be pretty disappointed, just because literally my whole life I've pictured it And I agree with a PP about wanting to be a maternal grandmother, I can't wait for that (hopefully!!) I can't see myself turning to such extreme measures though. But I suppose like Becki said until I'm there I can't say. I do want to foster when my children have 'flown the nest' though so if I couldnt have a girl I could maybe foster one later on. But it wouldn't be the same x

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I think its awful but at the same time, I cant understand as I have a boy and a girl and that is all I ever wanted. I dont think I would burst into tears over it though, surely you know one way or another the baby is a boy or a girl. If I knew I would be upset I just wouldn't have any more?

I just cant understand!

 

[Foogirl]

Just to throw this into the mix. We have a little girl who we recently found out will have some long term mobility issues.

When it comes to having LO nr 2, we hope desperately they won't have the same issues.

Does this mean we will love Abby any the less if LO nr 2 is perfectly healthy?

 

[smokey]

Just to throw this into the mix. We have a little girl who we recently found out will have some long term mobility issues.

When it comes to having LO nr 2, we hope desperately they won't have the same issues.

Does this mean we will love Abby any the less if LO nr 2 is perfectly healthy?

Exactly, im sure sam never loved her other 8 kids any less when Jenson came along just because you want another one doesnt mean your not happy with the others.
To me its the same thing, just because I desperatly want a girl doesnt mean il ever love Brian any less or im not happy with him.

Tbh my want for a girl iv noticed has started to get alot less the last though months, I think part of me feels I know where I stand with a son and not sure I can handle being new to everything all over again

 

[Foogirl]

Tbh my want for a girl iv noticed has started to get alot less the last though months, I think part of me feels I know where I stand with a son and not sure I can handle being new to everything all over again

S'funny you should say that. I never thought I had a preference but strangely when the scan showed a girl, I was a little disappointed. By the time she came into the world (which was actually only 5 weeks after the scan) I couldn't have cared less what she was, as long as she survived.

Now I've had a girl, I'm actually not keen to have boys, for the same reason - I know where I am with a girl!!

But I know that whatever, whenever I'll love LO nr 2 just as much.

 

[kiwimama]

OT - but why on earth do the pictures on the article have "boy" plastered over each of the kids photos? As if you can't tell they are boys or something??

As for gender disappointment, I don't believe it is disgusting as some others are saying. I think a women is completely entitled to feel disappointed that she isn't having the sex she desperately wanted. I think she should feel entitled to cry and to grieve for the child she had longed for, for 20 weeks.
If a women had had a traumatic birth, perhaps a c section that she had so wanted to avoid, we wouldn't tell her she was disgusting for being disappointed that she didn't get the natural birth she wanted, and that she shouldn't be allowed to cry over it, because she should be grateful her baby come out happy and healthy, I feel this is a very similar situation.
Personally with this couple in the article, I think she's doing the responsible thing by going and having gender selection done to ensure she has a girl next time. There was couple in Australia who desperately wanted a girl but got twin boys through ivf. I can't say how it ended because it is not something we are allowed to talk about, but if gender selection will stop that happening, then it seems like a good thing to me.

 

[Foogirl]

There was couple in Australia who desperately wanted a girl but got twin boys through ivf. I can't say how it ended because it is not something we are allowed to talk about, but if gender selection will stop that happening, then it seems like a good thing to me.

Very good point. Someone earlier mentioned the Chinese problem and how terrible it could be if gender selection was allowed. I look at it from the other point of view and see how terrible it is, because gender selection isn't allowed.

 

[pinkbow]

I think its vile! Her kids when older will have to read how she burst into tears knowing they where male, that to me is disgusting and would never wish that on a child to hear that their own mother just had me to hope i was a girl as truthfully thats why she had 5 boys if she had a girl after her first born she woukd have stopped..

Can i ask why woman so desperately want a girl?

 

[kiwimama]

I think its vile! Her kids when older will have to read how she burst into tears knowing they where male, that to me is disgusting and would never wish that on a child to hear that their own mother just had me to hope i was a girl as truthfully thats why she had 5 boys if she had a girl after her first born she woukd have stopped..

Can i ask why woman so desperately want a girl?

That's a bit of a generalisation. I didn't want a girl, I was happy for either (first time around) and wanted a boy this time. I know lots of women who desperately wanted boys.

Anyway, I don't see why her boys are going to be reading about how she has gender disappointment when they are older? I'm sure she's not going to be keeping the article around for them to find.
When a woman who has gender disappointment hears she is having a girl or boy, (the opposite of whatever she wanted) she isn't upset that she's having a boy, simply upset that she isn't having a girl (or vice versa.) Some may say, well it's the same thing, but I don't think it is.

 

[pinkbow]

I know i guess it is generalisation but its mainly verging on the wishing and longing for a girl, the whole mother daughter thing. And from this article too..

I always seem to read its oh the girly girl thing, and pretty dresses, shoes can go shopping... Its like its more of a longing for a life size doll more than anything and that saddens me.

She may keep the article, someone may mention it in conversation that they chose the sex of their sister... Not like its a secret is it.

 

[smokey]

For all we know she may have a very open honest relationship with her sons and if she is as serious as she seems then chances are they know all about it already.

I couldnt care less if my mum had of desperatly wanted a boy when pregnant with me, she still loves me and has been a fantastic mum to me.

I dont think some people are getting enough credit in their ability to be a loving mother even while going through something like this, did she abandon her babies? no, did she abandon the pregnancy? no.

Reason why I wanted a girl was because that was what seemed more natural to me at the time, I would know experiances that my daughter was going through in life and be able to guide and advice her because it was somthing I knew and would be able to relate to a girl with natural connection (hopfully)

Yes I loved the idea of frilly dresses id be lieing if I said I hadnt thought of it but that was just a side bonus.

 

[rwhite]

For all we know she may have a very open honest relationship with her sons and if she is as serious as she seems then chances are they know all about it already.

I couldnt care less if my mum had of desperatly wanted a boy when pregnant with me, she still loves me and has been a fantastic mum to me.

I dont think some people are getting enough credit in their ability to be a loving mother even while going through something like this, did she abandon her babies? no, did she abandon the pregnancy? no.

Reason why I wanted a girl was because that was what seemed more natural to me at the time, I would know experiances that my daughter was going through in life and be able to guide and advice her because it was somthing I knew and would be able to relate to a girl with natural connection (hopfully)

Yes I loved the idea of frilly dresses id be lieing if I said I hadnt thought of it but that was just a side bonus.

Well explained, lovely