funny/ embarrasing labour stories

[Insectile]

I also remember begging the nurses not to put him on my chest without laying a towel over me first. I was really freaked out by the idea of a squirmy bloody slimy fresh baby laying on me. Then when they laid him on me (on top of the towel lol) I just thought "Oh wow, hes kind of purple and he isnt as gross looking as I expected."

I didnt count fingers and toes when he was born. As weird as it may sound, it never really mattered to me if he had them all. I keep counting them now though. I swear he has six toes on each foot, but then I count them and there are only five. Its like a weird optical illusion

 

[Buddysmum89]

Mines sort of embarrassing but not as embarrassing as what ive read

Well, i had my waters manually broken for me and when they broke my waters..My bladder sort of shifted and i ended up weeing at the same time as the waters coming out..But i was that embarrassed by it i didn't want to say anything and just let the midwife get on with cleaning up my massive puddles of wee and waters ..Still to this day i will not even tell OH i weed during having my waters broken!

And through the whole of my labour i got into quite a deep conversation with my midwife about English bull terriers ..The woman probably thought i was barmy talking about dogs while being in pain!

 

[Betheney]

Mines sort of embarrassing but not as embarrassing as what ive read

Well, i had my waters manually broken for me and when they broke my waters..My bladder sort of shifted and i ended up weeing at the same time as the waters coming out..But i was that embarrassed by it i didn't want to say anything and just let the midwife get on with cleaning up my massive puddles of wee and waters ..Still to this day i will not even tell OH i weed during having my waters broken!

And through the whole of my labour i got into quite a deep conversation with my midwife about English bull terriers ..The woman probably thought i was barmy talking about dogs while being in pain!

All during pregnancy everyone talks and warns and laughs about pooing in labour but i've never heard of weeing in labour. So i was shocked when i was in labour and i felt like i was going to wet myself, i didn't feel like i had a full bladder and was busting i just felt like my bladder at any moment was just going to let it all out. In the end i didn't end up peeing but since coming on this thread, i realise that peeing during labour is actually pretty common, i'm surprised i never heard of it before now.

 

[ClairAye]

I was in theatre so there was about 6 nurses/midwives, 2 paediatricians and my OH and in front of them all when I was pushing I shouted 'Agggh I've just shit myself!!'

A midwife said it was just baby to which my reply was..

'No I've definitely just shit myself!!' What an embarrassment!

 

[YikesBaby]

LOL Thanks ladies, this thread is awesome!! I had no idea poop and pee played such a large role in so many births. Good to know!

 

[lisab1986]

First labour i was induced and having a really hard labour which ended up being days long the mw i had was as usefull as a bloody chocholate tea pot and when i eventually gave in and asked for pethedine she was really dragging her heals..literally hours i wanted for pain relief! I was quite sozzled and my oh tells me before my little erm....outburst he was talking to her about how long she had been a mw and asked if she was ever abused etc..she told him she had been a mw 15 years and never once was she abused ..... well i was waiting, and waiting for my pain relief and couldnt take it no longer and said to oh..'wheres that f*cking bitch with my pethadine?!!!!!' I didnt realise she was at the other side of the room

Second labour was a homebirth 2 horrid mw's came round and half way through my labour i noticed this mw was wearing really dodgy socks and kids school shoes..well gas and air dont really agree with me and i said which i thought was quietly ..'does she expect me to take her seriously when shes wearing those stupid fkin socks and kids shoes?' My best mate burst out laughing and didnt know where to put herself and the mw just looked up at me from her paperwork

Third labour i was extremely composed considering i didnt know i was in labour and lied to the community mw's so someone would come out and examine me ..good job i did because by the time the mw got to the house i was 10cm and ready to push! Well they brought me the gas and air i got on the bed into a birthing position and i heard the mw tell me that there was a limited amount of g&a and i would need that to push my birthing partner made the mistake of attempting to take it away from me..good god the abuse she got when she did that

 

[Betheney]

Just an observation I'm reading a lot about women with gas and air during the pushing stage.

When it came to push with Eva she said I had to put it down and tried to coax it off me, of course I refused and wouldn't hand it over. So this resulted in her trying to physically take it off me so I bit the mouth piece and clampeddown so she couldn't take it and then proceeded to growl at her. Bitch eventually won.

I didn't realize this was a slightly funny story until now but that's not even my point. She did said they don't allow g&a during pushing because you need concentration and focus..... how odd so many other places allow it.

 

[Thorpedo11]

when i was in labor in the birth tub, i remember looking at my mom and seeing that she had the video camera and it was really pissing me off for some reason. I told her to stop video taping me. she said she wasnt. i told her to stop taking pictures ( its one of the video cameras that do both.) she said she wasnt taking pictures. Then i turned to her and said then put the fucking camera down.

After that i looked up and everyone was staring at me. [my husband, my MIL, my mom] I turned and said i feel like a petting zoo. they didnt hear me i guess because i heard my MIL ask my hubby what did i say... I then said... "i said I feel like a fucking petting zoo"

after everything was said and done we got a few good laughs from it, but at the time i was not laughing lol

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Just an observation I'm reading a lot about women with gas and air during the pushing stage.

When it came to push with Eva she said I had to put it down and tried to coax it off me, of course I refused and wouldn't hand it over. So this resulted in her trying to physically take it off me so I bit the mouth piece and clampeddown so she couldn't take it and then proceeded to growl at her. Bitch eventually won.

I didn't realize this was a slightly funny story until now but that's not even my point. She did said they don't allow g&a during pushing because you need concentration and focus..... how odd so many other places allow it.

I was never told I couldn't have it. I threw it off the bed cos I was so glad I was be allowed to push ( I'd only been using it as a distraction, I didn't need the pain relief)

I wouldn't have been able push properly if I was still using it I don't think. Odd

 

[Natsku]

I wasn't told I couldn't have it during pushing but I did just completely forget it cos I was so concentrated on pushing.

 

[Mrs W 11]

First labour i was induced and having a really hard labour which ended up being days long the mw i had was as usefull as a bloody chocholate tea pot and when i eventually gave in and asked for pethedine she was really dragging her heals..literally hours i wanted for pain relief! I was quite sozzled and my oh tells me before my little erm....outburst he was talking to her about how long she had been a mw and asked if she was ever abused etc..she told him she had been a mw 15 years and never once was she abused ..... well i was waiting, and waiting for my pain relief and couldnt take it no longer and said to oh..'wheres that f*cking bitch with my pethadine?!!!!!' I didnt realise she was at the other side of the room

Second labour was a homebirth 2 horrid mw's came round and half way through my labour i noticed this mw was wearing really dodgy socks and kids school shoes..well gas and air dont really agree with me and i said which i thought was quietly ..'does she expect me to take her seriously when shes wearing those stupid fkin socks and kids shoes?' My best mate burst out laughing and didnt know where to put herself and the mw just looked up at me from her paperwork

Third labour i was extremely composed considering i didnt know i was in labour and lied to the community mw's so someone would come out and examine me ..good job i did because by the time the mw got to the house i was 10cm and ready to push! Well they brought me the gas and air i got on the bed into a birthing position and i heard the mw tell me that there was a limited amount of g&a and i would need that to push my birthing partner made the mistake of attempting to take it away from me..good god the abuse she got when she did that

Oh hun, these are hilarious!! I especially love the socks and shoes comment!!!!!!

Just my luck i'll be that subtle too.

 

[Betheney]

I don't think I could have pushed effectively had I been allowed to have it. But I felt incredibly delirious and out of it anyway.

 

[amandapanda1]

During labour, my sister got really hot, whipped off her top, did a little wiggle and shouted WOOOO! IM NAKED! MY TITTIES ARE OUT! to everyone who was nearby...

Then 5 minutes later, she burst into tears crying that everyone had seen her boobs, sobbingly saying 'but they're YOUR boobs Luke!' to her OH.

 

[2have4kids]

These are so great, takes my mind off infertility probs...thanks so much to the mom's who've shared! I hope to one day be in your shoes.
Any Canadian mom's here? Do we get gas & air in our hospitals? I hope so.

 

[YikesBaby]

2have4kids - I don't think we do. Bummer huh??

 

[TFSGirl]

These are so great, takes my mind off infertility probs...thanks so much to the mom's who've shared! I hope to one day be in your shoes.
Any Canadian mom's here? Do we get gas & air in our hospitals? I hope so.

Nope we don't. My OH and I were talking about this yesterday and we just can't understand WHY we don't... his cousin is head anaesthesiologist for the hospitals in Toronto and we were thinking of asking him why they don't give gas & air.... maybe he will have an answer, and if he does I will let you ladies know. I want the option of gas & air so bad now. lol

 

[MommaAlexis]

Someone told me there is a gas you can get, it's just that they use this big medical term for it and that she got it. This was just today so.. ?

 

[TFSGirl]

Just talked to him about it, and it is available at SOME hospitals, but you have to ask for it, they won't offer it to you unless you know about it, and a lot of hospitals don't even carry it. It is called Entonox here.

 

[mrsswaffer]

I was just going to say, I think it's entinox.

 

[2have4kids]

Excellent, so happy to know this! My friend is an ER nurse, last night she said she'll hook me up with the gas, seemed to feel most hospitals in my city have it. It seems to take your mind off the main event