funny/ embarrasing labour stories

[Shadowy Lady]

hahaha this thread is brilliant! I have an idea I'd be a total nutcase during labour. Will share funny stories if they do happen with you guys later

 

[SpecialK]

I delivered in a small City in Canada and I had laughing gas (G&A). Just gave me something to focus on rather than the pain.

No real hilarious stories from me...but my water broke at home at around 1:30am. Just before it broke I went to wake my DH to let him know that I thought I may be having contractions but they were still 15 minutes apart. As I touched him to wake him the gush happened and my water broke. So as he woke up I said 'I think my water broke' in a rather panicked voice and he responded with 'Get off the bed!'

Then during labour I was standing at the foot of the bed rocking my hips back and forth and I kept having this clear fluid dribble out of me. I couldn't understand how my water kept on coming out. To which my mother had to inform me that it wasn't my water...I just kept peeing on the floor! So embarrassing!

 

[sevenofnine]

I am very sad that we can't get G&A here in the US... pretty much epidurals only.

It took me two days, but I read through all 43 pages! What an awesome thread!!!!

 

[Sarahcake]

Love this thread! Ive had so many laughs at all the hillarious stories! Thank you all for sharing. I will be sure to report back with any amusing goings on when its my turn!

 

[starburst1979]

Thank you ladies!!! Took me a good few hours to get thru them all and I literally cried with laughter at some!! Have decided I don't want gas and air when I have this one, incase I'm horrible to fella and my mum pmsl xx

 

[Kellen]

This is a fantastic thread. I'm currently expecting our first and I'm certainly looking forward to hopefully being as entertaining as some of these stories.

 

[lemongrass]

Just wanted to add- you can get g&a in BC. I think it goes province by province.

 

[TFSGirl]

I delivered in a small City in Canada and I had laughing gas (G&A). Just gave me something to focus on rather than the pain.

No real hilarious stories from me...but my water broke at home at around 1:30am. Just before it broke I went to wake my DH to let him know that I thought I may be having contractions but they were still 15 minutes apart. As I touched him to wake him the gush happened and my water broke. So as he woke up I said 'I think my water broke' in a rather panicked voice and he responded with 'Get off the bed!'

Then during labour I was standing at the foot of the bed rocking my hips back and forth and I kept having this clear fluid dribble out of me. I couldn't understand how my water kept on coming out. To which my mother had to inform me that it wasn't my water...I just kept peeing on the floor! So embarrassing!

omg I keep giggling over and over again picturing this hehehe

 

[BlossomJ]

I didn't have a really funny birth, but do remember being very, very talkative with the gas & air & making a prat of myself!

Went in for induction & after being monitored for ages, was given prostin gel to start things off. They said it would probably take a day or two from start to finish so I wasn't really expecting much... DS arrived within 1hr 45!

There wasn't really time to do much when I got up delivery - just straight into the bed & given gas & air. I was insanely hot & asked if I could strip down to my bra & the old hag of a midwife was weird about it & made me feel like this was inappropriate. So after a good few puffs on the gas and air I start telling her she is the meanest women I've ever met & why is she doing this job if she's just going to make everyone feel like crap?! Then as the effects of the gas & air wear off between contractions I proceed to apologise for saying that & that I'm sure she's not a horrible person, I just think she could be a bit more tactful... (and the I get another contraction)... instead of acting like a total bitch! At which point she says she come back & check on me in a few minutes & I start begging her not to go & saying I didn't mean it.

So anyway she does eventually go & comes back with a dr not long after. The Dr examined me & I was chatting away & said that I was glad she was nice because I couldn't stand that old midwife (who was standing right there!).

I also kept saying, I'm so embarrassed, I've done a poo! To which the staff kept telling me I hadn't, but I kept shouting I have, I can smell it! I've done a poo! I'm so sorry, it stinks!

I had two drs stitching me & was told me to keep the gas & air. I was telling the drs that I wished I could see into my vagina to admire their work & that I was sure it looked beautiful! (I'm so glad I coukdn't see!). I was asking what kind of stiches they were doing & whether they enjoyed this part of their work?! WTF?!!

 

[Sarahcake]

Lmao! Entenox can make you do and say funny things. We used to use it on the elderly care ward I worked on to help with pain when changing dressings. The little old ladies used to go doolally on the stuff

 

[BlossomJ]

My mum is going to come to the birth too this time & although I want her there, I'm dreading what I'll say! Somehow I don't mind what do in front of DH.

 

[BlossomJ]

Lmao! Entenox can make you do and say funny things. We used to use it on the elderly care ward I worked on to help with pain when changing dressings. The little old ladies used to go doolally on the stuff

Brilliant! Old people saying really inappropriate things would be too funny!

 

[baby_mama87]

Everything went ok-ish in my labour until the very end when I needed forceps, anyway when LO was delivered I needed a lot if stitches and bled quiet a bit. Something just came over me and I went crazy! I had a needle in my spine, local anasthetic down there yet when a poor student doc came in to take a tiny bit of blood I was screaming "nooooo get away from me with that now!" think I nearly slapped her at one point, then whilst being stitched I did the horribliest sounding fart in her face! Thing is I was so high from gas and air I couldn't stop laughing!

Xxx

 

[AJThomas]

During a quite painful contraction at home I grabbed hold of my OH's balls painfully and yelled 'Feel the pain!'

Poor man! xx

I just about died reading this!! I showed it to my DH and he said "I'll be wearing super tight undies when you go in labour."

 

[gracy47]

LOL!! !! this makes me laugh much!

 

[babydust1990]

Thought I'd add my embarrassing/funny labour moments!

- When the pain got really bad I was writhing around on the bed and tried gas and air for the first time, I turned to the midwife and said 'this stuff is shit' and threw it!
- They asked me where I wanted my pethidine putting and I turned around and said 'I couldnt give a toss, just give me the damn stuff'
- I begged for an epidural only to be told I was 9cms and it wasnt worth it, I told my OH they just hated me and wanted me to suffer!
- When pushing I pooed... A lot... I really didnt care at the time though!
- They told me they could see the head and the first thing out my mouth was 'is he ginger?'
- While pushing I said 'just pull it out!' once the head started to crown I screamed 'PUT HIM BACK IN!'
- I was pushing hanging off the bed and refused to move

Labour is a barrel of laughs eh?

 

[Bon18]

Thanks ladies this thread is fantastic entertainment the night before my c section... I'm sure the nurses think the lady in ward c is insane because she keeps on laughing

 

[mrsswaffer]

Haha! Aw, good luck Bon18! How exciting!

 

[SurferMommy]

I could probably write a novel with all the funny things that have happened during our kids births... if I could actually remember half of the stuff I said... so here's almost word for word what happened

Twins:
-Dr: "We might have to do an emergency c-section"... Me: "I'll push 'em out thank you very much"
- (A few hours later) My OH's brother Chris: "God they're so small, especially this little fella" Me: "Naw Christian, they're ginormous".

Indie (30 minute unplanned home birth, we called an ambulance but it didn't arrive in time, so it was just me, my OH Nat and his brother Benjamin in the house):
-Benjamin: "I got towels" Nat "Not my good quiksilver one... awww" Me: "Yipideedoodah! It's a towel! I'm sure when you're son is older he'll by you a new one!!!"
- Operator: "Can you see the head?" Nat: "Urmmm.... yesss..." (face goes white) Operator: "Can you hear me, can you hear me??" Benjamin: (Mumbles wussy under his breath) "Get out of my way, and put the phone on speaker" Nat: "Yes mom" Operator: "So get a towel and be prepared to catch the baby" Nat: "Just breathe hunny" Me: "No I think i'll just hold my breath and pretend i'm scuba diving" Benjamin: "Hang on a minute he's coming.... Haaa!!! Haha!! I just delivered a real live baby!!!" Me: "No I think it's actually a joey Benjamin". Nat: "Hey, I helped too" Me: "Yes you keep telling yourself that Casper the friendly ghost" Benjamin: "Well actually he did contribute... like nearly 9 months ago..."

I'm a sarcastic person, even during and right after giving birth to a watermelon.. or two!

 

[Mrs Ellie]

I could probably write a novel with all the funny things that have happened during our kids births... if I could actually remember half of the stuff I said... so here's almost word for word what happened

Twins:
-Dr: "We might have to do an emergency c-section"... Me: "I'll push 'em out thank you very much"
- (A few hours later) My OH's brother Chris: "God they're so small, especially this little fella" Me: "Naw Christian, they're ginormous".

Indie (30 minute unplanned home birth, we called an ambulance but it didn't arrive in time, so it was just me, my OH Nat and his brother Benjamin in the house):
-Benjamin: "I got towels" Nat "Not my good quiksilver one... awww" Me: "Yipideedoodah! It's a towel! I'm sure when you're son is older he'll by you a new one!!!"
- Operator: "Can you see the head?" Nat: "Urmmm.... yesss..." (face goes white) Operator: "Can you hear me, can you hear me??" Benjamin: (Mumbles wussy under his breath) "Get out of my way, and put the phone on speaker" Nat: "Yes mom" Operator: "So get a towel and be prepared to catch the baby" Nat: "Just breathe hunny" Me: "No I think i'll just hold my breath and pretend i'm scuba diving" Benjamin: "Hang on a minute he's coming.... Haaa!!! Haha!! I just delivered a real live baby!!!" Me: "No I think it's actually a joey Benjamin". Nat: "Hey, I helped too" Me: "Yes you keep telling yourself that Casper the friendly ghost" Benjamin: "Well actually he did contribute... like nearly 9 months ago..."

I'm a sarcastic person, even during and right after giving birth to a watermelon.. or two!

Wow Indie's delivery was so quick, 30 minutes! I wish I had a 30 minute labour! Haha your husband whining over his towel! And the Scuba diving sarcastic remark! Was it not a bit awkward having your bil deliver your baby? Well I suppose you wouldn't really care at the time, and now your son and Benjamin will have such an amazing bond, Benjamin was really hero of the hour! And you can mock Casper the ghost! Some guys act so tough.. but they're so damn not!