funny/ embarrasing labour stories

[mara16jade]

Just read the entire thread! Took two days, and wow did I laugh my butt off!!

Does anyone know why we can't get G&A in the USA? We get it at the dentist, so why not for L&D?

Has anyone be able to get G&A in the States?

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

I think you can, it just goes by a diff name. Etenox? maybe.

 

[katerdid]

These are great!

 

[MomPepperdine]

Bwhahaha first off I wish I could has g&a and second you all are ginger haters! Lol I'm a red lol

So with my first I was induced ans soooo hungery I had all 3 meals and sandwichs between and was still sneaking food lol the ladys weren't sure where I was putting it lol

Then when I jumped from like a 6 to 10 the dr wasn't able to come right away so with all the nures in the room I yell were the hell is the f(*king dr! And here he is walking in saying right here lol oops

With my 2nd I went into labor at home the day b4 I joked with dh that I was going to go into labor Sunday night and he was going to miss work well I did the whole drive I was yelling go faster slow down I don't was to get pulled over! Then the only parking close the l&d is handy cap so hub parked there then the doors wouldn't open so I start running to the er ent and he pulls them open like hulk! Lol I get to the trio room and b4 the guy can shut the door I'm naked on the bed he checks me I'm a 8 he doesn't put the rails up and starts running me to a room! Funny night hub said thank goodness there wasn't 2 cuz the dr wouldn't of caught the 2nd one I pushed less then a min

 

[QueenTUT]

Great stories! Wish I read these before birth and I would have relaxed more!!

I woke up w a pop! It was my water breaking. We took our time to get to the hospital bc I felt fine. We had to wait in triage to make sure my water broke( the puddles I left in several places I guess weren't convincing) we heard a lady screaming like an animal and her husband laughing at her, my husband and I proceeded to make fun of her sounds and then a few seconds later I had my first REAL contraction. Karma was a bitch I felt so bad that I laughed at that poor woman.

Everything else went great and smooth. Had an epidural and dialated slower. My husband somehow convinced the nurse to let him check me the next time for dialation. He was so fascinated the whole day by wverything. She reluctantly agreed and before he did I asked for ice chips since we were in no hurry. He went to get them and she pulled the sheet back and mouth dropped open, all of a sudden nurses were in and the room transformed lights came on and everyone was moving fast! My husband came in and said what's going on. The nurse just pointed and sure enough our lo head was crowning. 10 min later he was born!!

 

[Jaimie2Eyes]

QueenTut - did they check your water under a microscope? I went to a birth center after my water broke and they sent me to the hospital to get my waters checked to make sure it was amniotic fluid What the heck else could it have been?

 

[Pino6161]

QueenTut - did they check your water under a microscope? I went to a birth center after my water broke and they sent me to the hospital to get my waters checked to make sure it was amniotic fluid What the heck else could it have been?

Ironically my SIL and thought her water broke and it turned out she just peed herself LOL

 

[QueenTUT]

QueenTut - did they check your water under a microscope? I went to a birth center after my water broke and they sent me to the hospital to get my waters checked to make sure it was amniotic fluid What the heck else could it have been?

yes!! They actually had a this swab and if it turned a certain color it was amniotic fluid!! I truly thought when u waddled in making a trail of liquid they would just take you to your room haha! How spoiled am I?!

That is funny your sil had peed herself!!! I could totally see that happening so I guess it's smart they do check!!!

 

[lilbeanfolk]

QueenTut - did they check your water under a microscope? I went to a birth center after my water broke and they sent me to the hospital to get my waters checked to make sure it was amniotic fluid What the heck else could it have been?

yes!! They actually had a this swab and if it turned a certain color it was amniotic fluid!! I truly thought when u waddled in making a trail of liquid they would just take you to your room haha! How spoiled am I?!

That is funny your sil had peed herself!!! I could totally see that happening so I guess it's smart they do check!!!

Ha ha, sorry but I had this happen at about 26 wks, thought I was leaking fluid, turns out I was peeing!! Ahhh, you can't have any shame and be pregnant or a mother

 

[Mandyblur]

When it came to pushing the midwife attempted to take the G&A off me - she failed miserably!

Between pushing i was puffing away on the G&A - i was high as a kite! The midwife told me to push and i refused, looked at my wrist (with no watch on) and said "sorry but its my coffee break now" My husband was doubled over laughing and the student midwife walked out the room holding her hand over her mouth - dont know what they're problem was i only wanted a coffee

 

[flashy09]

About 3 hours after I gave birth, I had all sorts of visitors in my room. A nurse comes in and turns me on my side to "check my bottom." Everyone gets really awkward and tries to look away and talk amongst themselves, however, when I get turned on my side I.Can't. Stop. Farting. Like loud blasts one after the other. My epidural was still lingering so I had no muscle control and couldn't stop it and they just kept coming and coming. Everyone was trying to ignore it as they are all very proper, which really made it more awkward then if they had just laughed, and I was dying of embarrassment from the 10 farts in a row, but then the nurse loudly exclaimed that I had given myself a hemorrhoid from pushing! The whole room just went silent and I could have slapped that nurse!

 

[shinona]

OMG flashy09! That is hysterical! Sorry but I am laughing so hard.... I would have given you a round of applause if I'd been there!

 

[jaymarie1991]

I promised myself I would add mine, not really funny tho

When I was in the theatre for my csection and they started I shouted,"I can smell burning skin!" Then I kept asking for a tummy tuck during the procedure, when they took him out and showed him to me I kept asking if they were sure he's mine cause he doesn't look like me. Then in recovery kept slapping my legs saying I can't feel a thing and I look like a cow! When it was time for me to sit up I kept asking the nurse if she was sure my belly was not gonna pop open when I stand up I was really freaked out about that

 

[Jilliank2005]

Loved this thread when pregnant, hoped I wouldn't be adding to it but sadly I managed to embarrass myself!

I work at a hospital, not in obstetrics and when I was given the gas and air I beckoned my husband over and whispered to him not very quietly "it's like I'm at work but I'm pissed"

A doctor arrived to cannulate me and it turned out to be someone I'd worked with, again, whispered to my husband, "****, i know her but cant remember her name". I knew full well what her name was. I think she was worried about getting a cannula in me which she did well first time, but before she left the room I pulled it straight out, blood gushing everywhere, which I just stood looking at. I just said, "err Nadia, you know those patients that pull their canulas straight out, that's me!"

Later in labour, I had my epidural but it wasn't stopping intense pain in my left hip and was still using gas and air. I was so drowsy and the gas and air was making me sick but I wouldn't put it down. The anaesthetist and midwife were discussing what to do about my pain relief and I appeared to be talking, not in English, into the gas and air device. When they asked what I was doing I just said one word, very seriously... "dictaphone" I use these a lot at work, and I guess I still thought I was at work dictating a letter.

The TV in the room was stuck on Dave and was showing a Man versus fooD Marathon. I was trying to explain the concept to my husband and at various stages tried to persuade him I had cooked the pancakes that were on screen and also that I had been in the kitchen that was on screen, it was the strongest sense of deja vu ever!

Edit to add... As I was being sick, the midwife, anaesthetist and my husband were trying to discourage me using has and air except when I really needed it. I thought I was being really clever telling them I had a contraction all the time. I was so tired I was falling to sleep and my husband - encouraged by the anaesthetist - tried to take the g&a away, I opened one eye and said "I think you know better than to do that".

 

[kbwebb]

The TV in the room was stuck on Dave and was showing a Man versus fooD Marathon. I was trying to explain the concept to my husband and at various stages tried to persuade him I had cooked the pancakes that were on screen and also that I had been in the kitchen that was on screen, it was the strongest sense of deja vu ever!

i just had to send this to my OH, i thought it was hillarious especially as we watch that all the time

 

[Niccal]

I was a full two weeks overdue and was induced, I couldn't cope with the pain so ended up having two lots of pethidine...which sent me loopy!

It made me queasy and I was constantly burping - and I kept saying pardon me after every. single. burp. I couldn't help it - even when the midwife told me I had a pass and not to worry!!

Then I couldn't wee, I wouldn't let hubby leave me and ended up crying hysterically squatting over a little cardboard bowl still unable to wee (had a catheter in the end)

I got obsessed with the gas and air making a certain noise when I breathed it in, I was insistent that this meant I was doing it 'properly'!

Then to cap it all off I started talking absolute crap - I think most of it was incoherent mumbling, which hubby obviously couldn't understand...but the few classics hubby likes to remind me of are...

Going on and on about jam doughnuts because I'd heard an advert on the radio that everyone else had missed

Pointing at a trolley with sandwiches and yogurts on it, which someone had abandoned in the room (there was no trolley)

And the final gem I doubt I'll live down, I kept saying something about Dave being in the field with horses and he won't dance!

I definitely left my dignity at the door!!

 

[yoshy]

These are hilarious! I read through all 50 pages in the past week or so, and I imagine I'll be adding my own funnies in 6 months time...

The thing that actually made me laugh even more than the great stories is that some of the tickers are still showing pregnancies even though the babies have been born...
I think the funniest one was one from sometime early 2011 which said the mum was 91 weeks and 5 days pregnant!
All I could think was "holy crap, that sounds scary!"

 

[private26]

these are brilliant, have been showing hubby some of the poo ones to prepare him, due 7 weeks today wih our second but nothing embarrassing happened with dd1 so I bet I'll have something to add this time x

 

[SophiaEli]

The only funny moment I can recall now happened when I was almost done, at the last stage of labour. When I delivered the placenta I exclaimed: "It looks like a liver, please pack it for my husband..." And I did not expect this "joke" from myself and could not laugh after all the suffering

 

[Tinky_82]

I delivered in a small City in Canada and I had laughing gas (G&A). Just gave me something to focus on rather than the pain.

No real hilarious stories from me...but my water broke at home at around 1:30am. Just before it broke I went to wake my DH to let him know that I thought I may be having contractions but they were still 15 minutes apart. As I touched him to wake him the gush happened and my water broke. So as he woke up I said 'I think my water broke' in a rather panicked voice and he responded with 'Get off the bed!'

Then during labour I was standing at the foot of the bed rocking my hips back and forth and I kept having this clear fluid dribble out of me. I couldn't understand how my water kept on coming out. To which my mother had to inform me that it wasn't my water...I just kept peeing on the floor! So embarrassing!

Love this - this thread is great - I've been scaring OH with the tales of G & A