funny/ embarrasing labour stories

[jasminejo24]

after i was stitched up i asked them to show me what it looked like in a mirror so they did then i told my OH to have a look and give me his oppinion

"it looks tidyer than before"

i could have killed him

 

[Amy89]

Love these! Spent about 7 hours reading from the beginning! Looking forward to adding mine in December
I want gas and air NOW dammit!

 

[Parkep]

I'm not sure if I put this in here when I hadn't first so I'm going to now. I was high on gas and air after she was born (they were stitching me up and it didn't freeze properly) and they showed me dd and I said " aw! At least I don't have pretend she's cute" the nurse was laughing so hard!
Dd will never hear that story lol

 

[Parkep]

Oh! And with Dd1 they kept trying to take my gas and air away. At one point i growled at the nurse, my oh said "I think for your safety, you might want to leave that with her" lol! It was his nice way of telling them to piss off hahah! It was what I concentrated on lol.

With dd2 my midwives sent me home because my labor had slowed by the time I got to the hospital. I got home and of course it picked up I had a shower, tried to nap, threw up in the sink all while oh napped on the couch lol. I was bouncing on my birthing ball when my waters broke. I woke up oh and he said should I call the midwife?(they met me at the hospital) I asked him to wait well during the next contraction he called. The midwife heard me and yelled at oh for waiting so long haha! Oh made at 35 min trip in 14 mins. I had Dd2 15 mins after getting to the hospital. The midwife apologized for yelling at oh, she panicked lol! I told her not to worry he slept thru all of it he deserved it lol! (I didn't really mind him sleeping, It was less distraction)

 

[Pineappleaddi]

I have a reaaaly embarrassing story! Went I went into early labor with DS she said my bag was just hanging there ready to pop but I was only 3 cm dilated so to get it started she wanted to break my water and get the pitocin going. I told them the ONLY way they were going to break my water was if they gave me the epidural first LOL which they refused of course lol (with DD it took about 1 minute of my water being broken to go into full blown wanting to die contractions, and 20 mins of pushing and out popped DD) Next time they checked me she said hmmm you seem a little backed up and opted for an enema!!! Well OFCOURSE I didnt want to explode on the table while pushing so I did it and those SOB'S tricked me!!! LOL two second of letting the enema out and my water exploded LOL.. So I pull the emergency button and start to panick as the contractions oll in full forse trying to wipe myself and not drip on the floor as the nurses come running into the room asking whats going on , I tell them my water broke and they just come to a slow walk and turn around and all but one leaves and I got the epidural just in time (like the last time) It was VERRRY dramatic AND PAINFUL but needless to say they did get things going and about 25 minutes later we had a beautiful worse every drop of that STUPID ENEMA!!!

 

[Pineappleaddi]

and about 25 minutes later we had a beautiful "baby boy worth" every drop of that STUPID ENEMA!!![/QUOTE]
baby boy worth

 

[usamom]

Beat thread ever! I have been laughing for hours!

 

[Pineappleaddi]

LOL I totally agree!!!

 

[MrsStutler]

after i was stitched up i asked them to show me what it looked like in a mirror so they did then i told my OH to have a look and give me his oppinion

"it looks tidyer than before"

i could have killed him

Hahaha, sounds like something my DH would say! I asked my OB how many stitches I was getting and she just said, "You don't need to know that."

 

[Cazran25]

These are brilliant - much as I am dreading labour I think I will take my tablet to the hospital and read these through when I'm in the early stages to give me a chuckle!

 

[tinkerbelle93]

not really a labour story as this was after delivery but the next day on the maternity ward my episiotomy was causing me a lot of pain so I asked a nurse for an ice pack. A few moments later she returned with a condom full of ice (do they do this at other hospitals too? I was quite baffled although pleased for the pain relief) and my OH just couldn't get over it, pointed at it and announced 'That's what we DIDN'T use hahahaha!' really loudly. Immature or what?? xx

 

[mara16jade]

^^ LOL too funny!

And I have heard that hospitals used ice filled condoms, as well as telling you to use them when you get home too.

 

[J04NN4]

After giving birth my midwife offered to push my piles back in (yuck, I know, and that's not even the embarrassing bit). A few moments later I felt something slide out High as a kite and having lost any semblance of dignity, I announced to the whole room (2 midwives and a student), quite happily, at the top of my voice: 'OK, so either my piles just came back out or I just shit myself'

It was the piles, not poop, in case anyone was wondering

 

[Louise88]

In the middle of giving birth I was that high on gas and air I randomly came out with.... "You know what I really want? A latte" the midwife just looked at me and went "you can have on after but right now you really need to focus on getting this baby out"

Talk about being so relaxed and chilled with a baby coming out your lady bits! Lol

 

[dizzy65]

When my water broke i was talking to my mom dad and DH and Sister and it broke and i said "oh my either my water just broke or i pee'd my self" lol

During the labor and pushing part i kept saing "no no i cant push any more i am so tired its to hard" but mean while when i was saying i couldnt push any more i was pushing lol i couldnt stop it..

 

[MrsStutler]

not really a labour story as this was after delivery but the next day on the maternity ward my episiotomy was causing me a lot of pain so I asked a nurse for an ice pack. A few moments later she returned with a condom full of ice (do they do this at other hospitals too? I was quite baffled although pleased for the pain relief) and my OH just couldn't get over it, pointed at it and announced 'That's what we DIDN'T use hahahaha!' really loudly. Immature or what?? xx

Oh my goodness, I didn't stop laughing for at least 5 minutes
Our hospital uses baby diapers for ice packs, they cut a hole at the top of the inner liner, fill it with ice and then clamp it off with a little plastic tie. Condom with ice actually sounds like a REALLY good idea lol

 

[Aready]

When I got to the hospital I was 6 cm dilated and I remember the admissions lady asking me if I was being induced that day. I guess I didn't look like I was in enough pain. I wanted to punch her in the face.

 

[Betheney]

A few hours after the birth my hubby was in the room with me and a team of obstetricians and training obstetricians came in and asked a bunch of questions, one asked"So you haven't done a pee yet" and i said "oh yeah i have, no issues there" and he pointed to the jug in the bathroom and said "but it's empty" and i got very stressed and embarrassed and i could feel my face going red before i mumbled my reply "....because i peed in the shower" my husband just looked down at me and shook his head.

I WAS SO HUMILIATED!!!!!

looking back now i laugh and wished i'd just said "oh i didn't know to use the jug and used the toilet"

 

[mrsswaffer]

Betheney, the midwives told me to wee in the shower for the first wee to take the edge off the stinging. I couldn't do it so soon after the birth.

 

[Betheney]

Betheney, the midwives told me to wee in the shower for the first wee to take the edge off the stinging. I couldn't do it so soon after the birth.

oh that does make me feel better!! I mean i was still on the maternity ward not in the birthing suites (yes it was that quick). The toilet was in a room across the hallway from my room and the shower was in a room further down. I had to run from my room to the shower semi naked at 3am and hope no one was walking down the hall, if i was going to pee i was going to have to go back out into the hall still semi naked, plus i hadn't really met my baby yet and was anxious to hurry up!!

I just can't forget the look on my husbands face and the slow shake of his head when i had to admit i peed in the shower!