funny/ embarrasing labour stories

[Parkep]

I was also advised to pee in the shower. First time and after that if it hurt too bad. I wouldn't feel bad at all!

 

[CIM]

Haha.

 

[Wriggley]

Gas and Air had a really big effect on me - my mum even said she needed the toilet as an excuse to leave the room for a bit :/ she said you could hear me right down the hall and everyone was loooking :/

I was literally screaming I LOVE MY BELLY RUBS :/ - midwife ended up taking the gas and air off me coz i was being to loud lol.

a student midwife also asked me permission to watch my birth just as i had took a nice big gulp of gas and air i literally screaming of course you can my darling in her face.

then a midwife with carrier bags on her feet walked down the hallway and i started shouting yay! hiros here!!! come up on the bed hiro :/ i thought MILS dog had come to visit me.

i also had red wrist bands instead of white coz of an allergy and i probably told the midwife i had 'special' wrist bands about 30 times coz i told her every since time she came in the room :/

 

[Anthrogirl]

With DD#1 when I was pushing and she was about to crown, I leaned back (I was squatting) after a particularly tough contraction. I could see my lady parts reflected in the doc's splash glasses and noticed he was about to cut an episiotomy. At that time I told him to move the scissors and that if he cut me I was gonna "kick him in the F$%@ing head".

With DD#2, I was coming out of transition with contractions triple peaking and lasting about 2 mins with very little break in between and suddenly I needed to push. I kind of knew that I'd been bearing down for a bit, but I was pretty roughed up after 48 hours on pit with no food...I leaned over and told OH to "push the button, I need to push". He patted me on the back and said "no you don't, you're just contracting really hard, honey" to which I grabbed him by the collar and hollered at the top of my lungs in his face "Push the f%&*#ing button, this baby's coming out!!!!"! The CNM was there before he even pushed the button and DD2 was born in less then 6 mins and 2 contractions. The docs didn't make it, the peds doc didn't make it and the room wasn't even ready for a newborn yet! I think the first words out of my mouth were,"I told you I had to push."

 

[Lovemybump1]

These are fab......wonder what my story will be

 

[Jaycrew]

I was 2 wks over due- went in for my last weekly check and the PA goes to check my cervix and he's like "WOw you husband must be happy" I was like "whaaaat- glad to know i still got it-I said that in my head of course- plus didnt mind his comment because he was a cutie- and I knwo he didnt mean any harm - just a funny guy) ANywho- He goes your no where near being dialated so come back tonight we are going to induce- Im like heey Im ready -he told me no ham sandwiches (I always had one whenever i cam in for an appointment) - I said thats fine- Im ready to get this done-SOOO

I went home called everyone - i said- yes- I have time to go do my hair pack some cute clothes put on a cute outfit make up- so while im lfat ironing my hair - I feel wet and after ten mins of me trying to figure out if I peed on myself my water breaks- so i call labor and dleivery they tell me to just come in which we do- I get there no dialation they decided to give me potocin to help what little contractions i was having - By 4 cm- everyone left me to rest - I wake up in the middle of the WORST LABOR OF MY CHIL BEARING LIFE!!! I was moaning - asked the nurse where is my family she tell me in the waiting room- so i tell her im in pain i wan tmy epidural now- She checks and is like your still only 4 - I think you should wait until 5... i think your overreacting" (MIND YOU - IM in a CATHOLIC hospital- and this nurse has to be like 55 or 60 with glasses) I go "FUUUUUUCCCCCCKKK!!!!!!!! FUUUUCCCK FUUUUUUCCCCK!!! I WANT A FUCKING EPIDURAL NOOOOW!!! She stops and looks at me and is like "Excuse me?" I yelled out I said FUUUUCK!!!! I WANT MY EPIDURAL!!!!! Another nurse and my Dr run in and say whats wrong? - and i start crying like a puppy and get quiet and pathetic - and say "please i just want an epidural and she wont give me any" LMAO- so needless to say i got my epidural

 

[Anthrogirl]

I think bad language in labor is cathartic...

 

[wamommy]

I didn't know I had an embarrassing story until I got up the nerve to watch the video of DS's birth. I remember as I was pushing my hip cramped up and I needed to put my legs down on something, so I lowered my leg and relaxed for a minute. Right after that a nurse grabbed my foot and I thought, 'oh thank goodness, what a helpful nurse."

As I watched the tape I saw that I had rested my foot right on the Doctor's face! The nurses and Doctor started laughing and the nurse quickly grabbed my foot. Luckily he had a sense of humor

 

[MissPolley]

haha i really cant wait now after hearing all these great stories

 

[Butterball Ma]

I didn't have anything too crazy happen. However, I remember asking for an epidural and the nurse said, well, I'm not sure he'll get here in time. You can do it without. To which I replied, well, then I just won't have this baby. Hmph! I did, of course, get my epidural. Lol.

 

[Dream.dream]

I don't know about funny but I had the gas and air , I held it to my far so tight during contractions I was loopy .

I couldn't focus my eyes on anything which I thought was funny so I couldn't stop laughing , I looked like a mad woman

 

[kbwebb]

The only funny thing about my labour was how relaxed I was. I was shoved in assessment for four hours because they had no bed for me, even tho I had poo in my waters. Even when I was contracting every three minutes for one to two minutes I still managed to sit there hysterically laughing at the music on the radio 'don't stop believing' 'push it' and some 80-90s dance songs lol. then it was changed to another radio station which was playing 'late night love songs'

 

[Glitter_berry]

I had a few embarrassing things happen. But the only funny thing I remember is when they bought breakfast around toast and juice. My doctor came in to break my waters and she was dilly dallying around. And I just blurted out. " gee thanks, now my toast is cold "

 

[nuffmac]

Love these. Hopefully i'll have one to add in a few weeks!

 

[smileyfaces]

When I was pushing with my second baby, one of the ward porters poked her head around the door and said "Sorry to disturb you love, but do you want any food? Fish and chips?"... I just said "Do I look like I want any f*cking fish and chips?!"

 

[kbwebb]

Omg! I just remembered!
As well as me sitting in assessment with cheesey love songs being played, not long before she was born, i said I needed to push.. turns out I needed to push out a poo.. as soon as I started I knew I was pooing myself but didn't care. I pooed three times, and I also peed all over the bed loads of times pushing, and kept saying sorry lol.

 

[mrsswaffer]

I still don't know if I pooed or not; I never asked. I'd rather not know! I had had a proper clear out at home at the beginning of my labour though, so I doubt there was anything in me!

 

[CatAndCo]

I couldn't stop passing wind during my first labour! I had to keep waddling back and forwards to the loo as well, I was convinced I was going to give birth on the toilet.

 

[kbwebb]

I still don't know if I pooed or not; I never asked. I'd rather not know! I had had a proper clear out at home at the beginning of my labour though, so I doubt there was anything in me!

I didn't ask, I knew because I was still lying on my side legs closed.. so I knew the thing coming out wasn't the head

 

[MissPolley]

There were a couple of funny parts, there is a finger moniter used to measure heart beat and the midwife asked me to "give me the finger"... so i stuck my middle finger up at her and laughed my head off. Also when they notified me they were going to stitch me up I asked her "like a virgin?" but eneded up singing it, made the lady laugh and so did i cause i got the gas and air back after pushing without it. oh and almost forgot, when i delivered the placenta i ended up splattering the poor registra (lady that delivered Damian and cut/stitched/delivered placenta) she looked shocked but amused