funny/ embarrasing labour stories

[despttc]

Haha. These stories sure are funny

I'll add in my contribution in 2months time

 

[PaiytonsMummy]

When i had DD i had a bad tear so when the doctor came in to tell me had to go to theatre, i vomited all over her, then fell asleep while she was telling me about complications that could happen lol.

With DS i was much more vocal, really bad labour. I was on the monitors and DH could see the measure of the contractions and was keeping track of how strong they were. Mid way through a pretty intense contraction DH decides to tell me that the contraction wasn't as strong as the others.
Glaring at him with devil eyes i said '' how the f*ck would you know, you're not feeling them'' while sucking hard on g+a.
Midwife told him to keep quiet after that.

I also asked if son was ginger when he was crowning. My midwife who was a full blown red head declared that he was and he was still beautiful. When he was passed to me i took one look at him and shouted ''Omg he looks like Max Branning'' (from EastEnders, English soap.) Lmao

 

[Kate7590]

Iv loved reading all of these stories!
Im not due til february, but these stories have made me a bit calmer about labour, so thanks

 

[geordie_gal]

These stories are great.
I havent given birth yet - but I'm dreading it and here's why -
I say really inappopriate things when Im in uncomforatble situations, I've had to have 2 internals so far

The first one was a trainee doctor (he must have been still in uni) and when he put his fingers up me I said "Christ normally I atleast get a drink out of this" - I have NO idea why I said that but my OH looked horrified

The 2nd was an internal ultrasound and when the sonographer said its just a condom and some lube I said "I havent had this much fun since I was 16" - Again - NO idea why I said it.

My OH is cringing at what I'll be like already haha x

 

[J04NN4]

These stories are great.
I havent given birth yet - but I'm dreading it and here's why -
I say really inappopriate things when Im in uncomforatble situations, I've had to have 2 internals so far

The first one was a trainee doctor (he must have been still in uni) and when he put his fingers up me I said "Christ normally I atleast get a drink out of this" - I have NO idea why I said that but my OH looked horrified

The 2nd was an internal ultrasound and when the sonographer said its just a condom and some lube I said "I havent had this much fun since I was 16" - Again - NO idea why I said it.

My OH is cringing at what I'll be like already haha x

That is HILARIOUS

 

[Mrs W 11]

Ha ha Geordie, can't wait wait for your labour stories

 

[Jonesy25]

I had a back to back labour and my baby got stuck so prepared to go to theatre for forceps...They brought the anethatist (sp?) in to give me an epidural and no word of a lie i couldnt understand her!! I was out of it on g&a and pethadine and began shouting 'No f***ing way' 'Get away from me'!! The idea
of a epi and forceps had scared me and the woman couldnt explain to me what they were going to do! I did apologise after!!

 

[Jonesy25]

Also...I got pregnant pretty quickly after meeting my partner and moved to a new area...Near my new area there is a place called 'The forrest of Dean' Which i had NEVER heard of...During labour i was out of it like a drunk and the midwife asked if i was from 'The forrest'!!
In my state i actually thought she thought i was like a tree person who lived in a forrest!!! I said 'What the f**k are you on about mate'!!

 

[sheldonsmommy]

Oh I forgot about this thread and must have unsubscribed! I will be sure to add any good stories in a couple weeks (or less as i'm already 2 days overdue!)

 

[CloverMouse]

I was one they didn't know was in labor. I was in complete denial and thought my contractions would stop. Finally went to the hospital where I sat quietly and filled out the paperwork. I wouldn't let them get a wheelchair for me. They run my blood pressure and it was so high the nurse asked how I was standing there talking to her so they got me an epidural immediately.
While we waited I told all the nurses who checked on me I was good, and asked about their days.
I was very calm about the whole business until the dr said episiotomy...
At that point I held my breath and grpped the bed and sobbed. She looked at dh and asked what I was doing "she thinks it's going to hurt"
They all laughed and I of course didn't feel a thing.

 

[Girly922]

I was fairly quiet and focused during labour. To the point I was completely oblivious to everything going on around me. When I was being stitched, however, that was a different matter. Although the MW used a local anaesthetic, I had gas&air during as the local didn't numb everything. High as a kite through a lot of that! I can't remember a huge amount, I'm sure OH will remind me at some point. The bit I do remember though was when FIL phoned OH. I turned to OH, asked who it was and then proceeded to wave and say 'hi' at the phone. The MW just looked up from her needlework and said, oh you are high aren't you?! Lol.

I kept apologising the whole way through too. She probably wanted to smack me and tell me to shut up by the end of it! Lol.

 

[despttc]

 

[Ivory Doll]

Where do I begin?!

I was convinced I sounded like Barry White after sucking on gas and air so decided to continuously sing Just The Way You Are.

I told the doctor who gave me an epidural I loved him and he only looked 21 (he was at least 45 thinking back!) didn't even bloody work after!!

When it was time to push the midwives tried to take the gas and air from my mouth and I bit down and it and started to half cry half growl at her

Apparently there was a woman giving birth next to me and I was screaming at her to shut up as she was making too much noise!

That's all for now I think!!

 

[ttc126]

I was induced for severe pre-eclampsia and was soooo sick and out of it! All I remember talking about was whether someone could call down to the emergency room and get the green m&ms. What????

Then when I was pushing I just wanted to be done. I pushed super hard and the dr said "ok take a break now!" And I screamed "NOOOO!" and pushed him out! Lol

My husband was saying "good job babe! You're doing great!" while I pushed. I screamed for him to "shut the hell up!"

I was a gem in labor

 

[Ashla]

While pregnant with my first baby I worked in marketing/branding for Coca-Cola. When it was time to go to the hospital for labour (I was having bad contractions by the time we left and my water had already broken, so I really needed to hurry to the hospital), DH, my mum and I all piled into the car and reversed out the driveway.
I yelled 'stop, I've forgotten something!' And made DH pull back into the driveway.

I ran inside and came back out carrying 4 bottles of Mount Franklin water.

I'd remembered that the hospital we were going to stocked a competitor brand of water and soft drinks (soda/pop) and I didn't want to get caught drinking competitor water, so I'd brought my own! Not sure who exactly from work I thought I'd be bumping into while giving birth...

Luckily, I got my priorities straight while in labour :doh:

 

[Girly922]

Talking of priorities, OH still makes fun of me. While I was in the pool pushing, about 20 minutes before DD was born, between contractions I was telling OH he needed to call the community midwife to cancel our appt. We were due to see her that morning to book induction and have my first sweep. At my appt the week before my MW had said about maybe not seeing me for my next appt. I promised her we'd call and cancel. Her reply - but you might be having a baby. DD was born exactly and hour before I was due to go to that appt.

I kept going on and on about calling to let her know we wouldn't be there. OH and the MW in the room just kept telling me not to worry. It seemed really important at the time!!

 

[ProudMomma2Be]

I had a really horrible OBGYN when I lived in Australia, I hated him.

Anyway I'd been induced and he examined me and I was only a couple of centimetres dilated at about 8am in the morning. The doc said he was going to his practise over the other side of Sydney and would be back about 6 or 7pm to check on me as the baby would probably come late evening. I said no way this baby will be here sooner than that, I bet he's here by lunchtime. He said to me rudely that he had been delivering babies for years and there was no way it would go that quickly.

Anyway he left me and my ex husband went off to have breakfast. I started crying because I just knew the baby would come and I'm sitting there upset (I realised after I was probably in transition) and I'm on my own and I suddenly realise I needed to push. I'm hitting the buzzer and a midwife comes in and I told her I needed to push and she laughed and told me my doc had just examined me. I looked at her and screamed "the baby is coming now you better take a look I'm not joking!" she still didn't believe me and sent a student in to examine me. She was supervising and the student is saying "um I thnk she's fully dilated". The midwife examined and said holy shit call her doctor. They called the doctor and he wouldn't believe me, he had only just got out of his car and turned around and drove back after swearing at the midwives on the phone saying there is no way she's having that baby yet. My epidural had been cranked up real high so I wouldn't keep pushing because i had to wait for my doctor and I had been yelling "i need to push!" and they were telling me I wasn't allowed because my doctor wasn't here. I was saying well you better crank that epi higher or you'll be in trouble!!!!!! So they cranked it up higher so I could ignore the push urges and the doctor eventually turned up half an hour later. I said to him as soon as he walked in "I TOLD YOU THIS BABY WOULD COME SOONER!" he was furious my epi was up too high and while I was pushing I still couldn't feel much and he's checking his watch and telling me he has other patients to see and I need to push harder. I was furious and told him I'd kick him lol.
Anyway my baby was born by lunchtime and that was after waiting for the doctor had delayed things by at least half an hour. It's why this time I will be listening to my instincts and not to the staff. Something inside me just knew that my baby wasn't going to wait.

Something similar happened to me
It's not funny but I thought I would share
I was having my first baby . Had to induced and started without being dilated at all . I was checked around lunch time and was 3-4 cm . The doctor told me because it's my forts I am probably going to have the baby the next day . Around 2 pm I started to have strong contractions . Had epidural in at 4 pm and being told. It's gonna be at least another 12 hours . Like 2 minutes after epidural my water broke and I started to feel strong pain ( epidural didn't work ) and need to push . I called my nurse and some other nurse picked up and told me my nurse is busy as everybody else . I was all alone at the room ( OH at work since he has been told he has another 12 hours ) and I was pushing back the urge to push the baby out . I kept calling my nurse and was being told the same - everybody is busy . I kept calling and finally some nurse just opened the door ( didn't even come in ) and ask me why I keep calling and I said I am in pain and I have very strong need to push and she replied that's normal and left .
I decided to call OH and told him I think I am in labor and to come over . He didn't believe me since it was my fist delivery but I convicted him to come . When he arrived I kept telling him to look for someone as I think I am in labor and I think the head is right between my legs and he told me to relax . But I kept going on so he opened the door and told me there is no one there .
I hot really pissed and wanted to ,,see,, for myself so I touched between my legs and the head was right there on the edge coming out . And finally my nurse got in and asked me how am I doing . I told her I think I am in labor and she just smile at me with the ,, oh first time moms think they know better than doctor ,, smile but she checked me . She only pulled the blanket and immidiately said ... I can see the head
Me : now way , really ... DUH !!!
So the doctor hit in right away and after 3 pusher my baby boy was born at 6:33 pm
I think it would be less painful and sooner if I would just yell at someone instead of being so calm

 

[Paperhearts]

This thread is great! So I've delivered all of my kids naturally but baby #5 was an emergency c-section. I started labor and was 10cm by the time I got to the hospital. Only he was a footling breech and had cord prolapse so we had no choice.

Anyway, I'm lying there on the table and my wonderful OB wanted to make sure I was fully numb before she began. She pinched my belly and asked if I felt it. I did. So we waited a few minutes. She did it again and I said I still felt it. She said "Are you sure??" and I said I thought so. So again we waited. A few minutes later she asked, "Do you feel this?" Assuming she was doing the pinch test (and SWEARING I felt it) I said "Yes, I still feel it I think". She laughed and said, "Okay well we've just opened the uterus so I think you're alright"

Um....oh. Whoops! Hahahaha!

 

[mara16jade]

^^ LOL omg. I probably would have been a little freaked out and laughing at the same time. Wow!

 

[despttc]