funny/ embarrasing labour stories

[gezma]

my waters broke in the car on the way to the hospital and drenched my jeans and trainers and i was begging my DH to turn the car round so i could go home and change them as i didn't want to go to hospital in that state!! he turned the car round and thought to himself what the hell am i doing and said no and drove to the hospital!!

 

[Hevalouaddict]

oh lordy loved all these! iv just got out of hospital and i was in agony so they gave me pethadine and i passed out... woke up at 6.30 this morning because the peth was wearing off and begged for more... they gave me paracetamol! but i couldn't swallow them and ended up spitting them out all over. they refused me peth again and made me drink soluble paracetamol yuk! i still have 21 weeks left and my god im having pethadine that stuff is amazing!!

 

[sequeena]

Pethidine didn't work for me, my contractions were still awful

 

[T8ty]

Haha!!!

When i was my antenatal classes they were chatting about getting to the 'burning ring of fire' point during labour..well my MW, Student Mw and OH were all chatting whilst i was lay on the bed enjoing the effects of the diamorphine.. i just shouted ''ooooooooooooooooo god this is the bloody burning ring or fire.. just i havent had a curry and its not my bum thats burning.. ''

Oh and also

After i had delivered my Daughter she was on my chest and they had just delivered the placenta..

The student MW was wrapping itup in a bag and she said to the other MW ill just put this in the freezer for you..

Well me thinking i was still centre of attension .. thought she was talking to me.. and i stupidly said...

'Well i dont want it do i''

Haha! My OH still wont let it go!

xxx

 

[Lawhra]

I....

Called the midwives cnuts and then could not stop saying sorry
Made my OH take a photo of my son crowning - why?!
Spaced out way too much on gas and air and kept thinking I was someone else

My OH wanted to take photos of the crowning but the midwife glared at him and said he shouldn't! I wish she hadn't stopped him as I'd quite like to have seen.

 

[nanomey]

some great stories there!! ... thought id better add some of my own in return ive had 4 children & have a embarressing comment for each!!

dd1 id had lots of gas & air & i remember staring across the room to where my mum & sis where & saying in a very spectical voice '' I know your looking at me.... and i can hear what you are saying'' .... they later told me they were talking about ''how much of a natural i was!!'' when dd finally came out blood splattered across the midwives face - i couldnt appoloigise enough

dd2 again too much gas & air... i had my cervix checked & right while the poor midwifes right in the middle of ...errrr...checking....i grinned at my other half who was holding my hand & said ''this is the bit you've waited 9months to see'' ... !! why does g&a make us say the most STUPIDEST things!!!???

dd3 going into the transitional stage & mum starts giving me some home remedy tablet thingy (explained before hand they are for different stages & signs im showing etc) i say ''WHAT THE F**K IS THAT FOR?'' and mum says ''its for aggitation & demanding behaviour'' ''IM F****ING FINE'' i shouted!!

dd4 right at the end i whispered to my OH ''babe ive never done drugs... but im OFF MY HEAD !!!'' and then i turned round - squatted down, and he was out! my next stupid comment was '' I CAN SEEEEE ..... MYYY BITSSSS!!!!'' (im sure i meant baby LOL)

 

[shinona]

Oh my! I am killing myself laughing here. You must hear some funny things as a midwife.

When I was on the gas and air (which I loved!), I started giggling and told hubby: "Karen is coming to examine me". I was convinced hubby's pal, who is an accountant, was outside and was coming in to examine me. He looked at me like I was a nutter but I was not to be dissuaded.

Once I'd had the epidural and was lying on the bed (still sucking down the G&A too!!), the mw told me to let the pressure build as ds was still too high. I kept giggling and stage whispering to hubby: "This baby is trying to come out of my bum!" I said it so many times until the mw, who was laughing her head off, said "Honestly, it's really not".

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Thanks for the giggles ladies. Humour to be found everywhere lol!

 

[Emma&Freya]

I feel like I shouldnt be laughing but these stories have made my day haha

 

[Lawhra]

I forgot to add from my first son's birth...

I was worried about the pain from having a canula put in for the epidural. After getting high on gas and air, when they had done it, I was relieved to not have felt it and said "OMG I that didn't hurt at all! Can you pierce my nipples while you're there?"

They did not look impressed.

 

[cherryglitter]

me "seriously this gas and air is making me feel like i've had 8 bottles of vodka..." proceeded to puke after this like i had drank 8 bottles of it.

"it's AMAAAAAAAAAZING"

"it feels like im watching from that corner.. right there.. over there!"

"my head is still but the room is spinning?!"

stuck on the loo: "I CAN'T MOOOOOOOOOVE" mid contraction hahaha, had to be lifted off!

to FOB: "why the fuck are they making you tea and toast, why the fuck are you sat there eating...." i was really annoyed

i couldn't count how many times i shouted i can't do it!

 

[Daisy Delayne]

lol also just remembered that at one point the midwife made me get out of the pool to check progress, and i really didnt want to... later on, in the midst of the transition drama i said 'IM SOOOOOOOOOO SORRRY I CALLED U A BITTTTTTTTTTCCCCHHHHH' and she said 'noo u didnt, its ok' and i told her that i did, she was just out of the room at the time lol

Oh my god! That is one of the funniest things I've ever read

 

[mich22]

During my first labour I had a poo and my immature 31 year old husband found this very humourous. With my second he kept on making a joke that if I did it again he would take a pic and put it on facebook, obviously he would not do this but after I had given birth to my second I was completely out of it with the shock and pain and kept shouting "Did I poo?? He's going to put it on facebook" The midwives looked at him in discust. Ha, he felt so embarrassed.

 

[2RockinBoys]

OMG i totally forgot about this!!
When my son's head started crowning,
MW said, 'oh that's really good, keep going, we can see the head',
to which i cried out 'IS IT GINGER?!!',
and my OH responded, 'I can't tell, it's covered in blood!'

 

[mich22]

OMG i totally forgot about this!!
When my son's head started crowning,
MW said, 'oh that's really good, keep going, we can see the head',
to which i cried out 'IS IT GINGER?!!',
and my OH responded, 'I can't tell, it's covered in blood!'

LOL!! That one made m chuckle.

 

[blondebabe]

I had a natural birth in a birthing pool! Just before i went to push, i wee'd and the student midwife said "oh love, ur waters have broken" i was like "umm no i just wee'd" lol
Also i poo'd in the pool and pulled out god knows how much mucus plug and the midwife had to get a net to fish it out lol xx

Also as baby's head was coming out i was shouting "MY VAGINA IS BURNING" haha

 

[fidget]

hehe love this

i was halfway through my labour and asked if i could stop pushing and go for a poo i got quite angry when she said it wasn't poo, it was the baby bearing down.

i also shouted i needed to poo a fair few times after this

when he started crowning i screamed oh my god, ring of fire! and my oh had no idea what i was talking about - he thought i meant curry bum sort of burning....

 

[scoobymum]

Tee hee, these are very funny!
Mine is more of a post baby story, I had a third degree tear and had really bad uncontrollable wind for a while, about 3 days after birth the midwife came round to check my stitches.
I has to lie on my side and she lifted my bum cheek, yep you guessed it, I trumpt right in her face! Was mortified...

 

[DarlingMe]

During my c-section the doc had said he was starting to cut. About 3 seconds later he said, "what the hell?!" At first I kinda freaked out a bit! Then I realized he was in the middle of telling a story and this was what another person had said. Of course I reprimanded him for making that statement! It did make my heart skip a beat or 2 though!

 

[DarlingMe]

Tee hee, these are very funny!
Mine is more of a post baby story, I had a third degree tear and had really bad uncontrollable wind for a while, about 3 days after birth the midwife came round to check my stitches.
I has to lie on my side and she lifted my bum cheek, yep you guessed it, I trumpt right in her face! Was mortified...

I am a nurse scooby, I cant tell you how many times patients have passed gas in my face! embarrassing for you but completely normal for her!