funny/ embarrasing labour stories

[tiger]

i wouldnt let anyone near my poo poo spot

 

[cupcake]

my anesthesiologist couldn't get the epidural in, I mean it was about 7 or 8 attempts, blood everywhere, my midwife was this tiny little woman, so sweet, she was actually there for my first birth too, anyway i could see she started looking a bit worried that it was taking so long. she told the anesthesiologist that he could have one more try and then that was it, I became hysterical, I asked her why she didn't want me to get the epidural, why was she doing this to me, please don't make him go away I don't care its okay keep trying.
lol, she was only trying to get a more senior doctor in, she told me "trust me, I want you to get this epidural as much as you want to have it"

 

[mummymunch]

I cant really think of anything hilarious!
i cried whilst standing outside the hosp as i hadn't painted my toe nails, pregnant women were entering ad leaving the buillding!

I told the midwife i wasnt reasy for a baby and i just needed a poo (this was just as i was abou to start pushing) i tried to get off the bed!

Whilst i was waiting for a room it was so hot i hugged a vending machine!

My waters shot across the room and i apologised alot to the midwife incase it hit her!

The nurse who did my stitches told me to never give up on my dreams that "she only came here to learn english and now shes putting stitches in people vaginas" she then told me she would have my lady parts looking lovely, like a dolche and gabana dress, maybe i'll email it to them as a tag line?

I was never completely out of it on gas and air, it was a bit hazy and i apologised for sounding like a man, but i did have a very long conversation with the midwife about whether i had poo'd or not!

 

[SIEGAL]

The nurse who did my stitches told me to never give up on my dreams that "she only came here to learn english and now shes putting stitches in people vaginas"

OMG!!! Hilarious!!!!

 

[lazydaisy2011]

midwife telling me to push and i wanted to take a little nap and finish it later lol And when the head came out and she tried to take my gas and air so i could concentrate, and i looked at her name tag pulled it close said her name and told her " take that from me and i will be googling and hunting you down, more water please" pmsl
Oh and there was the internal to see how many cm's i was how i apparently winked at her and called her a kinky little minx wtf lol

 

[tannembaum]

Haha a kinky minx!!!! Thank you so much for that, I've been feeling so poorly and that cheered me right up

 

[LadyGecko]

aww thankyou for sharing ladies ..... you have made me smile when feeling very down..hopefully i can add my own story soon x

 

[Newmummy18]

well, when I was pretty out of it on my second shot of diamorphine I apparently let out a huge fart and said thank you before laughing!!
Before the birth OH kept insisting that we'd see if I wanted more after birth, so during crowning I turned to him and said 'i still want more babies' lol his face was a picture.
I also remember almost crying when diamorphine was wearing off and trying (and failing) to discretely 'whisper' (apparently very loudly) to OH had I poo'd lol. I hadn't so all was fine
Also, once DD's head was out i screamed at MW to 'pull her out, pull her out right now!' lol
Some of the birth stories are so funny lol, OH has just asked me what I'm laughing at!

 

[SHELBYBABY]

With my first child, I went into labor about 10pm and i didnt have her until 2 the next day. I really needed to pee, when i went i could see my baby's hair, and i told them, and they laid me down on the bed, and they were like she has a full head of her, and they are touching her hair, keep in mind the baby is hanging out of my vagina. They try to get my mom to look and she is like no, they lied about the hair color and my mom almost breaks her neck trying to see.

 

[Want2bemommy4]

With my second daughter I went with just a block, where they stick needles up in me to numb my vaginal walls etc. I wanted the closet thing to natrual birth with her. And, I remember having my legs up in the stirrups with the doctor holding up these huge ass long needles laughing I said that spectulum is making it hard not to push I was like 7 CM. Hes like stop pushing cuz he could tell I was, I said I CANT Fing help it it just is happening on its own. Well, I shot the instrument out and go thats what happens when you tell me to stop pushing when I cant. So, finally he put the spectulum back in, and I was having the same issue and was laughing so hard that I go can I just squeeze (do a keegle)? And, my mom was just giggling and red too in the face. But he goes sure why not. Finally I got numbed up. was waiting to fully dilate which was 3 minutes later I started pushing and going is she out yet? Is that her head? Doctor said SHut up your not pushing hard enough when your talking. Finally 4 pushes later there was my daughter.

No cuts or tears. But, He saw how bad my hemroid was and pushed it back in. I screamed hey I just gave birth and your putting your finger in my bum to fix that. my DH had laughed hard.

 

[westjn85]

When I was in labor with my first I had gotten an epidural. I was in the midst of hard labor when someone farted so loudly that I immediately turned to my husband with an angry face thinking it was him. He shook his head no. I then turned to look at the nurse and that's when I realized that it was me! I couldn't even feel it! My mom came back in the room moments later when I told her that I thought I had poo'd myself. I asked her to check for me. She grabbed some tissue and actually wiped my butt! Luckily, it was just some blood and not poo. I still can't believe my mom would do that for me. I mean, we're close and all, but not that close!

 

[MissFox]

HAHAH This is great!!!

Well I was waiting 2 hours for my epidural and the anesthesiologist to come. when he got there and began placing it he asked if it hurt and I said YEA. He asked WHERE And I replied IDK MY BACK?! DUH so he said Where in your back? I told him that I didn't know the "scientific names for places in my body" lol. He said describe it to me. I told him and we went on like this for a few minutes. Then when they were moving me back into the bed to lay down I had a HUGE contraction and yelled OWW OW F**KITY OWW (from Juno... I was thinking of juno and laughing) and he promptly asks where it hurts and I SCREAM at the top of my lungs IN MY F***ING UTERUS YOU IDIOT!

 

[jess1983]

lol I just love these stories

 

[pregnantbabe]

With my 1st baby i was 1 week and 6days overdue and was trying everything to get labour started.

me and my partner decided sex was the only answer. so in the middle of the act my waters broke and absolute covered him . . . i dont no who was more embarrassed me or him lol xx

 

[mummyflanagan]

these are just 2 funny im crying my eyes out and thought i would share my labour with my DD.

on the way to the hospital we had to pick my sister up from my nans. my mum was driving and DH was in the back with me. my sister jumps in the car as my nan comes running out and stands in front of the car shouting at us to go go go. my mum shouted at her i will run u over mum! dont think i wont!.

we were playing a cd loud in the car to keep me busy and when driving down the road we had the windows open i was soooo hot. everytime i started having a contraction i screamed and they all put the windows up once the contraction had gone they wound them down again.

walking into the entrance of the hosptial my DH stood on the back of my flip flop by accident and i almost fell over right outside the security office so i grabbed his nipple n growled at him.

i made DH wheel the gas and air into the bathroom with me every 2 mins as i refused to leave it.

on the gas and air i started a new bottle and was sick every where whilst crying to my DH the gas and air had gone off i made him try sum he sucked it in once before i was on my feet shouting at him for taking it. i tried to say sorry by giving him a cuddle and had a contraction and accidently pulled out some of his armpit hair!.

then i was given pethidine and i woke with every contraction and started sucking on the tens machine button instead of the gas and air.

after quite a few hours of me begging for a c-section they agreed to give me an epidural. the man was doing it and i was shouting at the midwife that he put a catapiller in my spinnnnnneeeeee!

i was asleep when i got the urge to push i woke up sat up and screamed i need a poooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. as i was pushing i was saying dont let chris see my poo over and over and over so the midwife agreed to hold a piece of tissue over my bum :/.

when DD was crowning i thought it would be a good idea to feel her head and got gunk all over my hand i looked at it and wiped it down DH white top saying thats f**king minging!

i had a trainee do my stitches and whilst she was doing it i farted so loud right in her face but where i was on gas and air i burst out laughing and couldnt stop to say sorry!

DH asked her to put a honeymoons stich in too!


there is my embarrassing moments. hope they make u laugh as much as they do me ha x

 

[pipsbabybean]

these are just 2 funny im crying my eyes out and thought i would share my labour with my DD.

on the way to the hospital we had to pick my sister up from my nans. my mum was driving and DH was in the back with me. my sister jumps in the car as my nan comes running out and stands in front of the car shouting at us to go go go. my mum shouted at her i will run u over mum! dont think i wont!.

we were playing a cd loud in the car to keep me busy and when driving down the road we had the windows open i was soooo hot. everytime i started having a contraction i screamed and they all put the windows up once the contraction had gone they wound them down again.

walking into the entrance of the hosptial my DH stood on the back of my flip flop by accident and i almost fell over right outside the security office so i grabbed his nipple n growled at him.

i made DH wheel the gas and air into the bathroom with me every 2 mins as i refused to leave it.

on the gas and air i started a new bottle and was sick every where whilst crying to my DH the gas and air had gone off i made him try sum he sucked it in once before i was on my feet shouting at him for taking it. i tried to say sorry by giving him a cuddle and had a contraction and accidently pulled out some of his armpit hair!.

then i was given pethidine and i woke with every contraction and started sucking on the tens machine button instead of the gas and air.

after quite a few hours of me begging for a c-section they agreed to give me an epidural. the man was doing it and i was shouting at the midwife that he put a catapiller in my spinnnnnneeeeee!

i was asleep when i got the urge to push i woke up sat up and screamed i need a poooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. as i was pushing i was saying dont let chris see my poo over and over and over so the midwife agreed to hold a piece of tissue over my bum :/.

when DD was crowning i thought it would be a good idea to feel her head and got gunk all over my hand i looked at it and wiped it down DH white top saying thats f**king minging!

i had a trainee do my stitches and whilst she was doing it i farted so loud right in her face but where i was on gas and air i burst out laughing and couldnt stop to say sorry!

DH asked her to put a honeymoons stich in too!


there is my embarrassing moments. hope they make u laugh as much as they do me ha x

well and truly tickled me that did..

 

[RyliesMummy]

And finally she announced that the last thing she had to do was check none of the stitches had gone too deep by putting her finger up my bum (TMI- Sorry!) anyway she did it as she did I pointed and shouted at my OH "And don't you dare get any ideas" and laughed very loud, then rememberred my mum was sat next to me.....I also kept telling them that was the worst bit of giving birth and that I felt violated....whilst laughing away to myself............yea I love gas and air!!!!!

I have tears streaming down my face, I can't stop laughing!

 

[Natsku]

Hilarious thread!!

My labour wasn't that funny but I did love the gas and air. I made the midwife turn it all the way up and then kept sharing it with OH. When the doctor came in to discuss pain relief options I told her "I love this gas and air, I'm so high!" then I made OH phone his SIL to debate the pain relief options (she's a nurse) and while he was out of the room I was hearing voices from the gas and air, I was so sure I could hear him on the phone.

And I spent the whole 46 mins pushing shouting "I can't do it! I can't do it!"

 

[Emma&Freya]

these are just 2 funny im crying my eyes out and thought i would share my labour with my DD.

on the way to the hospital we had to pick my sister up from my nans. my mum was driving and DH was in the back with me. my sister jumps in the car as my nan comes running out and stands in front of the car shouting at us to go go go. my mum shouted at her i will run u over mum! dont think i wont!.

we were playing a cd loud in the car to keep me busy and when driving down the road we had the windows open i was soooo hot. everytime i started having a contraction i screamed and they all put the windows up once the contraction had gone they wound them down again.

walking into the entrance of the hosptial my DH stood on the back of my flip flop by accident and i almost fell over right outside the security office so i grabbed his nipple n growled at him.

i made DH wheel the gas and air into the bathroom with me every 2 mins as i refused to leave it.

on the gas and air i started a new bottle and was sick every where whilst crying to my DH the gas and air had gone off i made him try sum he sucked it in once before i was on my feet shouting at him for taking it. i tried to say sorry by giving him a cuddle and had a contraction and accidently pulled out some of his armpit hair!.

then i was given pethidine and i woke with every contraction and started sucking on the tens machine button instead of the gas and air.

after quite a few hours of me begging for a c-section they agreed to give me an epidural. the man was doing it and i was shouting at the midwife that he put a catapiller in my spinnnnnneeeeee!

i was asleep when i got the urge to push i woke up sat up and screamed i need a poooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. as i was pushing i was saying dont let chris see my poo over and over and over so the midwife agreed to hold a piece of tissue over my bum :/.

when DD was crowning i thought it would be a good idea to feel her head and got gunk all over my hand i looked at it and wiped it down DH white top saying thats f**king minging!

i had a trainee do my stitches and whilst she was doing it i farted so loud right in her face but where i was on gas and air i burst out laughing and couldnt stop to say sorry!

DH asked her to put a honeymoons stich in too!


there is my embarrassing moments. hope they make u laugh as much as they do me ha x

That is so funny hahaha

 

[Gretaa]

all of the stories are hilarious I'm laughing out loud, hysterical