funny/ embarrasing labour stories

[aley28]

I was induced and doing pretty fine for the first part of the labor. Then after they broke my waters, the contractions got REALLY strong and I was shouting like a mad lady. Both my younger sisters informed me that they no longer wanted to have kids. The doctor came in to check on me and asked if I wanted an epidural, which I had turned down a couple times up to then. I agreed immediately. My husband says, "I thought you didn't want an epidural? Are you sure?" I turn to him and shout, "FUCK YOU, you try to do this without pain meds! Get out!" The nurses all got big eyes and the doctor started chuckling... my husband was thoroughly entertained

 

[Digby]

Oh good lord, I've been laughing som hard at my desk I had to leave the room!

 

[eulmh82]

These are hilarious!!!!! But now I'm very worried about what I'm going to say to my husband during labour!

 

[citymouse]

My husband says, "I thought you didn't want an epidural? Are you sure?" I turn to him and shout, "FUCK YOU, you try to do this without pain meds! Get out!"

 

[kimbo46]

While I was high on gas and air, the midwife asked if she could examine me. I must of nodded or something but as soon as she put her fingers inside me, I shot into an upright position, looked her in the eye and screamed " get your fucking hand out of my fanny right now!!!" My OH was mortified. The poor midwife shot across to the other side of the room and just said very quitely, " when you feel like you are ready to push, can you please let me know". The poor woman. I think she thought I was going to throttle her.

 

[tannembaum]

 

[Mazzy17]

I have been laughing at these and hubby keeps looking at me as though im losing it. So i told HIM to read the thread....he cant waiting to get me preg JUST to get me on G & A!

 

[Phantom710]

following get to add my own in 2 weeks

 

[lillmoo]

i pidgeon tried flying into the window when i was drugged up in labour, funniest thing, couldn't stop giggling!!

 

[shinona]

Oh girls, I can't stop laughing, I have tears pouring down my face! I especially love the girl who called her mw a "kinky little minx"!

I've remembered another couple too. I flirted outrageously with the anaesthetist when he came to do my epidural. His assistant numbed my back with this freezing spray which was amazing as it was so hot outside and I told him I loved him several times. My dh was so embarassed and told me to stop to which I replied "I will not! He has drugs, do you?"

The other mortifying point was being sewn up in theatre after delivering ds by foreceps and chatting through my legs to the doctor who was sewing me up. I insisted I knew her and was asking where she had gone to uni and going through the various people we know who are doctors.

 

[jadesh101]

stalking and making the place where I had read up to lol xx

 

[jadesh101]

*boingg*

 

[Phantom710]

you can tell i'm nearing birth and have been reading this thread, as last night i had a dream about saying funny things and posting it on here LMAO

 

[Zooy]

Haha this was awesome to read! Can't wait to add my own.

I will share one of my moms though since it's one of her favourite to tell. About a year before I was born, my dad had hernia surgery and was really doped up on morphine. The nurse tried to wake him up (he doesn't do well with people touching him suddenly, especially when not in his right mind)and he punched her in the face, so hard she was knocked across the room.
Well then my birth comes and they are getting all set up and she's being checked on. The first nurse to walk in the room to my mom and dad was the nurse Dad hit.

She made sure to ask if my mom was as strong as my dad.

 

[MissFox]

OMG hahahyahahaha

 

[Phantom710]

Zooy how funny!!!!

 

[MillyBert]

I went into premature labour at 32+1, so i wasnt alloud off the bed too walk around and with this being my second i wanted to be more active so high as a kite on gas and air i put my hands and legs in the air and did a walking motion whilst laying flat on my back. i then had to have some steroids and pethedine to slow my labour down and what not. i was so high after i kept trying to dance laying on my back .. God knows what they must of thought of me. xx

 

[Bex84]

I bit my OH it wasent purposeful lol I was nice to him thoughout labour, I had a strong contraction and my LO was twisting and her elbow was pushing on my bladder he gave me his hand and I was out of it on gas and air, he was very forgiving. While I was in birthing pool (which didnt stay in long I was to hot) I announced I needed a poo (had diharea whole week before then day I gave birth had constipation) OH said, isnt that a good sign, nope I was constipated and needed an enema. When I had just given birth I needed stitches for episiotomy, midwife said that I would need a tampon to stop blood so she could see, it is bigger than a tampon, when seeing horror on my face she said dont worry you just pushed a baby out this is nothing. I did not want anything up there lol. My OH told everyone that the bed looked like a crime scene off CSI . I got annoyed at midwife when they said I couldent have gas and air when was pushing LO out lol though I was still quite civil. I was also convinced I would not be noisy, how wrong I was ah the nievaty of first time mum. I was lucky though and was only in established labour for 7hrs and my LO was worth every second of pain and you do look back and laugh.

 

[Digby]

Oh lord!

 

[Connah'sMommy]

I threw a towel at the midwife this time round...she took her sweet time coming in even though i was screaming at her that i wanted to push...so when she had her back turned faffing around with stuff i threw a towel id been hanging on to for dear life (no idea why.... It missed unfortunately...old bat she was! xx