funny/ embarrasing labour stories

[Harleyy]

Midwifes: Let's get this baby out then.
Me: Wait what baby? I am here for a boob job.

Ohh also I told them that I was sorry for it being a bit of a mess down there as I couldnt see, and i asked them to give me a mirror, and id shave it now.
My midwife was called, Hep, I called her everything, including, herp, durp, turp, in the end I just should ''oi you'' Loool!
She told me I was the happiest person she'd met at 10cms every and to come back soon! (I got to the hos at 10cms.)
hmm, anther on is, the partner didnt think I was in labour, kept saying 'Shut up and get in bed, its a tummy bug, ive got work in the morning''
I shouted at him and he got the idea.

I had gas and air. lool.

 

[Mazzy17]

When my mum was giving birth to me my Dad was floating around the delivery room getting in peoples way and not being much help. So my mum gets annoyed and shouts "FOR FUCK SACK BILL BE USEFUL OR GET THE FUCK OUT!" My Dad apparently looked like a kicked puppy so midwife took sympathy on him and then Mum rolled her eyes and said "Get down to the business end and enjoy the show" Which had everyone in the room laughing at my Dad. Poor fella

 

[DarlingMe]

Not quite a labor story but as the surgery started I am talking to OH and halfway listening to the rest of the activity in the room. All of the sudden the doc goes, "what the he'll!?!" well of course I was listening then! Turns out he was telling a story and that was what was said, I put it all together after my heart skipped. I then yelled at him and told him to be careful what he is saying as he is cutting into someone's abdomen!!

My dad got pulled over on the way to have me. Of course the cop didn't believe him. He got a ticket and we all went to court the day of the hearing. The judge threw it out.

 

[DarlingMe]

Haha this was awesome to read! Can't wait to add my own.

I will share one of my moms though since it's one of her favourite to tell. About a year before I was born, my dad had hernia surgery and was really doped up on morphine. The nurse tried to wake him up (he doesn't do well with people touching him suddenly, especially when not in his right mind)and he punched her in the face, so hard she was knocked across the room.
Well then my birth comes and they are getting all set up and she's being checked on. The first nurse to walk in the room to my mom and dad was the nurse Dad hit.

She made sure to ask if my mom was as strong as my dad.

I am nurse and never wake people up close for this reason!! I usually stand at the foot of the bed and shake the bed a bit or knock loudly if they don't wake. You never know!! I can't believe they had the same nurse. Too funny!

 

[oox_tasha_xoo]

omg these have had me laughing SO MUCH!!!
I havent really got very many funny moments but heres a few random moments during my labour :

I knew i was being induced so the night before my induction i decided to make a nice effort and shave my bits, paint my toes and fake tan my legs (god knows why?!?!)
anyway during labour i remember practically in tears to my mum that one of my toe nails varnish had chipped and my feet looked silly Also moaned that i had streaks down my tan where i had been sweating , really was a bad idea putting tan on!!

I have a very bad phobia of feet and cant stand my feet being touched... when my midwife touched my foot i nearly booted her in the face.. i couldnt stop apologising but warned her not to touch my foot again

And the topper of them all would be when the really cute doctor was stitching me up after birth , me sucking away on the gas and air decided to ask for an extra stitch to make me a virgin again... needless to say he burst out laughing xx

 

[ferens06]

and the topper of them all would be when the really cute doctor was stitching me up after birth , me sucking away on the gas and air decided to ask for an extra stitch to make me a virgin again... Needless to say he burst out laughing Xx

 

[chele]

It was several hours after birth and I was changing DS with my open backed gown on, no pants on, a massive maternity towel wedged between my legs and the curtain open. Two women changing the next bed came over and politely asked me to close the curtain or my gown as I was flashing the whole ward. I can't even blame the G&A on that one! I just lost ALL my inhibitions!

 

[NuKe]

while getting stitched up afterwards, i tore quite badly and was still on the g&a, the doctor said she had to put a finger up my mum to check for damage up there and i said (high as a kite) "it's ok, I've had worse up there!"

 

[tiger]

lol NUKE !!!!

 

[LilSnowflake]

onto the loo. while there, transition hit,

Why do we all seem to hit transition on the toilet?!?!

Because it is where our brains are conditioned to let go of control, and our bodies are conditioned to relax down below.

Have you been reading Ina May Gaskin or Natal Hynotherapy? Awesomness! x

 

[LilSnowflake]

It was during the last stages of labor with my 1st that the OB was leaning in closer for a better look just as i got a massive urge to push. Good job he was wearing goggles b/c at the same moment the most forceful projectile-pee jetted out of me at 100miles an hr, right on target with his face & upper torso!
My OH still teases me about what a pressure i managed to get up! - like those games at the fair where you have to squirt down targets with a power-jet of water. He said id definitely have won a cuddly toy for that attempt!

 

[Blizzard]

This thread is wonderful! Scaring the pants off me though. xx

 

[Leopard]

Goodness girls, I cannot decide whether I'm laughing or crying from the hilarity of it. Cannot wait for my little girl to make me stupid xD

 

[JackiePed]

My funny story has to do with DH. He refused to go to any birthing classes, wasn't interested in watching any videos or reading any books... he was fine just 'winging it'.
He was a great labor partner, I have no complaints. He did GREAT.
But....
He didn't know about the placenta. There he was, cooing and holding our baby girl, and the doc murmured to me to push again, and I pushed hard, which ummm... made it sort of fly out, along with lots of blood. DH JUMPED back in horror and cowered in a corner, exclaiming, "OHH!!!! WHAT the??!?!?!?" He thought I was dying or something. He was pretty white-faced.



That's what you get for not doing your homework!!

 

[MrsPoodle]

OMG that's hilarious!

 

[JackiePed]

LoL.... I still laugh every time I tell that story, and it was 6 years ago! (In fact, I just belly-laughed again re-reading my post above! ) It wouldn't have been SOOOoooo funny if it weren't for the fact that he was so gruff and macho about NOT taking ANY classes or watching ANY videos, reading ANY books, etc.... It was pure pregnant-karma!

 

[tannembaum]

I don't think oh knows about the placenta as I had an emcs last time. If my vbac goes to plan I may tell him another baby is coming....just to see the look of horror on his face

 

[Emmy1987]

I was so high on diamorphine and G&A that I ended up talking about Shakespeare and how I used to do drama... but I was really insistent about it lol. I talked the midwife through all the parts I played when I was younger... poor woman must have been bored to death! It was all babbly-crap though, not a lot made sense lmao.

ETA - I also forgot my OH was with me I was that spaced out, I looked at him and I remember wondering how on earth he got there his poor face when I said "I forgot you were here!" bless him

 

[citymouse]

LoL.... I still laugh every time I tell that story, and it was 6 years ago! (In fact, I just belly-laughed again re-reading my post above! ) It wouldn't have been SOOOoooo funny if it weren't for the fact that he was so gruff and macho about NOT taking ANY classes or watching ANY videos, reading ANY books, etc.... It was pure pregnant-karma!

I told your story to my DH just so he wouldn't get any thoughts of avoiding those classes!

 

[Blizzard]

LoL.... I still laugh every time I tell that story, and it was 6 years ago! (In fact, I just belly-laughed again re-reading my post above! ) It wouldn't have been SOOOoooo funny if it weren't for the fact that he was so gruff and macho about NOT taking ANY classes or watching ANY videos, reading ANY books, etc.... It was pure pregnant-karma!

I told your story to my DH just so he wouldn't get any thoughts of avoiding those classes!

I did the same thing! No missing classes for him. xx