General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[mrs.green2015]

Wow J that's a lot to handle with knowing him so little lol I think he would be open to Ttc and he may be nervous because you guys are new together causing him to last even longer than normal.

 

[claireybell]

Oh wow! Just read you loooong post J.. That is definately a head scratcher! He knows your not on bc or anything right? I wonder if its the same issues that girls have they sometimes jyst 'cant get there' but oral & other stuff works better.. But kinda leaves you a bit up in the air when ttc.. Can i ask - did you ask how his children were concieved? Without that sounding like 'well doh, normal sex obvs' ...

 

[claireybell]

I agree Mrs G i think he would be open for ttc as hes a good family orientated guy

 

[JLM73]

Well his older daughter is 20- long before the moto accident, and his lil girl is 8 conceived the year before the accident.
I am thinking since this has been an issue in the past for him ( meaning his exes got their happy ending, but weren't willing to go long enuff for him to get his) he prob has given himself a complex that no woman is going to put in the effort.
He did get there, but it takes a while for sure...guess I will see how it is in a few months- maybe he will realize there's no need to be self conscious about it, since I def put in the work??
Maybe once he doesn't expect it to take forever, it won't lol.
That's actually what some articles I read said- like if you focus on acieving something it takes longer because you can psych yourself out that you can't do it

 

[pacificlove]

I wonder what the accident did to his brains. Be aware that something this deeply embedded in his brain may take longer then a few months to solve...
My issues when I met dh were quite simple compared to your guys. I had been cheated on in a previous relationship and it probably took me nearly 2 years before I could say "I can trust you" to my now DH, I wanted to, but the mind just didn't allow it.

 

[JLM73]

Very true Pacific...He is pretty blunt about anything and everything lol S I believe him when he says the issue has been - he has had the last couple exes, start out saying they were willing to put in the effort, but soon got used to getting theirs first (yes he always starts with me getting mine first lol) but then he said they would not put in much effort after that, so that to him was very selfish and a huge turnoff- i understand that.
And another reason I believe it is 1- it was one of the VERY first things he told me I needed to be aware of in one of our first conversations, and 2- He i very affectionate and def the sexual instigator. I never pressure him and he has made it known he was deprived lol so long that he def wanted to make sure that wouldn't be an issue for us.
He's super sweet and considerate, but I think the mental block is mainly due to being self conscious about himself ( he even said alot of his tats were to cover scars from the accident- I've seen before and after pics, and he had ALOT

 

[gigglebox]

Cb, haven't heard of that brand but sounds promising! Can't wait to see your positive! I myself am ordering a 25 pack of wondfo's. Do any of you ladies have experience with that?

J, that is quite a pickle. I think showing you are willing to work with or tackle the problem is going to be a big part of him overcoming the issue. Maybe you could try doing something with oral that you can translate to sex? Like using a hand in front of your mouth to grip him, and trying the same type of grip during penetration? Or using a warming gel or something? Just a thought...

Afm, i'm already trying to calculate my next fertile window i think it'll be about november 5th. So i just need to get through the next 2-2.5 weeks...i feel like i can deal with the tww much easier, because that time frame is known and calculated. Knowing when i'm going to ovulate is much trickier!

 

[JLM73]

Pre-planning Giggle hehe
Yea I already figure I would need lube for the loooong next session lol
I haven't ever had to buy it...Thinking I will sneak some preseed into a KY bottle LMAO

 

[claireybell]

Hahaa! Fertile lube is great, makes you super wet (i should know tmi)

But yeah maybe he hasnt ever got past that part in a relationship enough to trust & relax with the other person to let himself fully go in the heat if the moment - i def think you can be that woman J

Gigs did you get you af then hun or is it still delayed??

Im already thinking about next cycle & i not even finished this one yet ha!

Got a mini temp dip by a couple of notches - hoping its an implant dip perhaps?

That being said - im getting up in a minute its 0626 & im gonna pee on a cheap strip thang hahaa!! Pacific, you got any cheapies you can pee on to join me hehe..

 

[gigglebox]

Nah, af is definitely here. Arrived yesterday, right on schedule.

Lol J! Preseed lube hahaha

Cb, show us your pee stick!

Poor des woke up with a disgusting cough this morning looks like i'll be going to the doctors today. Woohoo.

Totally paranoid i'm going to catch it on my trip and be sick for the wedding. Wouldn't that be ironic, not being able to drink because i'm sick...

 

[mrs.green2015]

Where's your pee stick cb??
Hope you don't catch it gig. I've been avoiding everyone that even sneezes lol

 

[pacificlove]

Giggle, hope Des feels better and doesn't get you sick...

CB, no cheapies... still trying hard to hold out. Thursday morning I would have time, but I'd rather not waste the 1st Resp. if it's BFN... So where is your picture this morning ?

JLM, I think you can help him if you put in the months or years. Trust and that skill to let go will take him a while to develop. You can do it!

 

[JLM73]

Oh no Gig! Make sure you wash your hands a zillion times and don't touch your face lol. Hope you have a great time at the wedding- live it up!

My SO's daughter keeps asking if I am coming over everytime she sees him text/call me hehe. She's super sweet.
We were talking about kids in general and I mentioned that I would have 10 if I could, and he laughed and said he wouldn't want ten more since kids are expensive, but would have more just like her...
I'll take that to mean he has not shut down the farm or the idea of another kiddo lol
She def plays big sis to my son.
I left it at that for now.
My chart will be crappy this month...not checking anything really, and half ass temping without being at same time
Gonna assume the NTNP stance, so unless something very unexpected happens I will have my first cycle in a year without spending $ on hpt
Notify the stock market of an impending crash

 

[JLM73]

Thx Pacific and Claire...yea I don't plan on going anywhere. I really really like him.
Not to mention, if his "doesn't want kids" preg daughter is really that, maybe I can volunteer for daily baby sitting since I am home
She is only 20 afterall, and I def had less patience then than I do in my 40's.
He's only 2 yrs older than me, and I typically prefer older men ( like 10+ yrs older) just like them being more settled in life, and past all the party phase etc
So I have def had exes with "performance" issues...not a prob for me.
I'd rather be emotionally happy and have so so sex, than fab sex and miserable over a cheater or liar.

 

[pacificlove]

You are made for each other that is so sweet J!!

As for me, cm seems to be drying up but still white creamy stuff way up in there.... I am probably out, I thought cm is supposed to increase?

 

[JLM73]

Thx Pacific
I thought so too, but I've seen quite a few multi preg ladies who said their cm was diff every preg
Guess it just depends on the hormone levels

 

[mrs.green2015]

I agee with j it's different for every pregnancy. I had white creamy cm for a few days then went to watery. And there's a baby in my tummy. Haha

J it really does sound like you guys are great together and he's totally on board for a baby! That would be awesome for you two.

 

[pacificlove]

Thanks, there is still hope until the witch shows.. The water intake has been slow this morning too. wait and see... *Gaaaah*

Friday we should have final word on our home purchase too.

 

[mrs.green2015]

Congrats pacific! How long did it take you guys? We just got preapproved but trying to get in on a different program so we're waiting to hear from them today. If not we'll have to decide if we go with the 1st one or try to increase the chances with the program.

 

[pacificlove]

Congrats to your new adventure!

So far it has taken us just over a month... Everything looked good for us going in, but then most banks didn't like the fact that our choice was on an island. Thankfully the seller was ok'd a couple of deadline extensions. My guess is that she didn't have that much interest in her property (it borders a shooting range that is only open once or twice a week for a few hours. It doesn't concern us, as it sits on 70+ acres and they have so many regulations that it's surprising they are allowed to shoot anything at all). The ups and downs of this purchase have caused me a lot stress in the last month. Come Friday, everything should be signed. December 1st, we take ownership, but the seller isn't moving out until Feb. 28. Time should fly until then, right?